Disclaimer: Unless you don't recognize them, I don't own them. No money or other profits are being made from this attempt at entertainment.
Fair warning, this is going to be an Alternate Universe fic. It takes place not too long after the 2007 CGI movie, but the Shredder is still alive and well and in charge of the Foot. Other details of the original timeline may or may not also be altered as I go along.
Also, for the purpose of my world the ages of the Turtles are Leo, Raph, Don then Mikey (from eldest to youngest). Personally, I just find Leo and Raph being the two eldest makes the most sense based on personalities and the interactions between the Turtles.
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A muffled sob turned the heads of those left in the room from the closed door to their youngest member.
Michelangelo collapsed to the ground, bringing his knees up to hide his face and his tears while he curled his arms up over his head and began to rock back and forth slightly. "He hates me…he hates me!"
"Easy, Mikey," Leonardo spoke, kneeling at his brother's side and wrapping his arms around him. "He didn't mean it. He's confused and hurting right now, but he doesn't hate you."
"Didn't you hear him, Leo?" Michelangelo asked, looking up into Leonardo's face, tears streaming from his eyes. "His voice…he was so angry…he'll never forgive me…"
"He will, Mikey. Eventually he'll realize that you did the only thing you could. Don's too logical not to eventually see reason."
Michelangelo snorted, refusing to relax into Leonardo's hold, though he didn't move out of it either. "How would you know? Since you've gotten back, have you even tried to sit down to talk to him? When was the last time you actually listened to him, rather than just lectured to him? I don't think you have any idea who Donnie is anymore."
"Come on, Mikey. It's Don," he shrugged, as if that was answer enough. "There's no way he could have changed that much."
Michelangelo just shook his head. "You just don't get it, Leo. We all changed while you were gone. None of us are the same as we were before you left, and you can't keep treating us as if we are. Donnie especially."
Finally pulling himself from Leo's arms, Michelangelo stood and walked towards the door, pausing for a moment in the doorway, his left hand resting against the frame, head facing out of the infirmary. "I'm gonna be in my room. I'd appreciate it if you didn't bother me unless Don calls in."
So saying, he exited and morosely walked to his room, closing the door firmly behind him and collapsing onto his bed. He buried his face in his pillows, wrapping his arms around them, and just cried.
Leonardo, meanwhile, was still kneeling on the floor of the infirmary. His hands were fisted on his knees and he stared down at the floor without really seeing anything. Michelangelo's words were floating through his head. This wasn't the first time his youngest brother had said something of this nature to him. He had ignored him the first time, allowing the worry and disappointment of Donatello's condition to push those thoughts to the back of his head.
This latest debacle brought them to the fore once again, however. Michelangelo was right. Since he had returned, he hadn't bothered to try to sit down and just talk with any of his brothers. His sole focus was the team; bringing them all back up to fighting as one devastating unit, imparting order, discipline…always a leader. Not once had he acted or thought like a brother should.
"My son," Splinter spoke, moving to Leonardo's side and laying a paw on his bowed head, "do not despair."
Leonardo's head remained bowed; as Splinter watched, tears began to fall from tightly closed eyes. "But Master Splinter, Mikey's right," Leo argued, his voice choked with emotion. "My actions…my decisions since I've gotten back; they may have been those of a Leader, but they were not those of a brother. In these past two years, all I've focused on, all I thought about, was how to be a better leader; I honestly don't know if I even remember how to be a brother anymore."
"The listen to your brothers, my son," Splinter instructed, rubbing his paw fondly along Leonardo's head. "Let them teach you what you have forgotten, while you teach them what you have learned."
Leonardo absently nodded his head, acknowledging the wisdom of Splinter's words, yet preoccupied with his next question. He didn't want to ask…he didn't want to know…didn't want to even contemplate it being true…yet he knew ignoring the matter would benefit no one. Taking a deep breath and releasing it slowly, gathering his emotions and taking control of them once more, he asked, "Master…is what the other have said true? Did you abandon Donatello?"
Splinter sighed. He knew that sooner or later, Leonardo would be asking this question. "Leonardo…I am far from perfect. I have made mistakes. I have acted in ways that bring me great shame to admit. None of my past mistakes, however, hurt me as greatly as my actions while you were away. I offer no excuse."
Leonardo felt more tears fall as his worst fears were realized. It was true. Donatello had been alone, without support. His own family had abandoned him. And all he, Leonardo, had done since his return was criticize and lecture Donatello over the failings in his performance, without even questioning the whys. He had assumed it had been Donnie's fault, Donnie's failure. When the truth was, they had all failed as a family; they all shared in the blame…
"But Master Splinter, why?" Leonardo sobbed, curling in on himself as he realized just how alone and heartbroken his younger brother must have felt…how isolated. "Why would you abandon him when he needed you most? We both knew that Donatello would have difficulties being in charge. You were supposed to be there to help him!"
Leonardo finally looked up at his Father, tears still winding down his face, the accusation in his eyes matching those falling from his mouth.
Splinter turned away from his son, facing the back wall of the infirmary. "I am afraid…your departure…I had underestimated…" Splinter had to finally halt, words failing him as he tried to gather his chaotic thoughts, desperate to make this son understand.
"I missed you more than I had anticipated, Leonardo. You and I have a special bond. Not that I love your brothers any less than I love you, but we share so many interests…we have spent so much time together…your company has always a provided comfort to me. I did not think that your absence would affect me so, but I found my heart aching for those times we spent together."
Leonardo's reproachful glare softened as his Father spoke. He could understand this much. He, too, had missed the times they spent together more than he had thought possible. But he couldn't comprehend how the desire for those moments could possibly have led to Donatello's treatment.
"I am afraid I took my sadness and anxiety out on your brother," Splinter explained, his head bowed, as if hearing Leonardo's thoughts. "I desperately yearned for that same connection you and I share, but Donatello and I have no commonalities. I cannot understand his hobbies, while he has little interest in mine. As much as it pains me to say it, I wanted Donatello to be you, and blamed him for it when he could do so."
Leonardo shut his eyes tightly against the tears that wanted to fall. He had been the cause of so much pain for his family. He was still causing them so much pain. It had never been his intention. He had only wanted to improve for them, to be able to better protect them…to care for them…
"By the time I realized my mistake, it was already too late," Splinter tightened his grip on his walking stick, feeling the claws of his left paw dig into the right paw below, "Michelangelo and Raphael had become too wild to control. No doubt taking lead from me, they had grown used to blaming Donatello for all the ills that befell our family. And Donatello had completely isolated himself from the rest of us, building walls so high and so thick, I do not know if they will ever successfully be breached. It has been almost a year since I have been able to sense his spirit. Even when in the deepest of meditation, he remains hidden from me."
Leonardo couldn't hold it in any more. Wrapping his arms across his chest, hugging himself tightly, he curled up until his forehead touched the floor and sobbed brokenly. This had not been what he had wanted. His family had fallen apart while he was gone…because he had been gone…and there didn't seem to be anything he could do to fix it. They had, in fact, broken, perhaps irrevocably, the one who had always been able to fix them.
Distantly he felt much loved, furry arms envelope him, but his physical body was too remote to him now for the loving embrace to matter. His spirit ached…his mind continued to hurl condemnations at himself…he felt the gracious blackness of unconsciousness approach and welcomed it fully, leaving the world to carry on without him for a time.
