Disclaimer: They're not mine; I only have words to give. I'm just taking these wonderful characters and playing with them, wishing they were real.
This takes places after Gambit comes back from Antarctica, just don't rip me for not following the comics too closely; this IS a.u., after all.
The first good memory I have after destroying That Place is Gambit. I had been hiding out in the attic for about a day when he found me. How, I don't know; I swear I was helluh careful and no one else had caught on, not even the security system. Although, I think the security system actually logged me as an authorized person to be there, and so no one actually stopped to notice whom exactly was there, as generally people only care when it's someone who's not supposed to be there. Anyway, Gambit caught me sneaking back up into the attic after grabbing food- hey, it was 2 a.m. and that's usually a pretty safe time to hit the fridge because the only person who would possible still be awake was Beast, but I knew his habits from the Before, and he did not strike me as a person to change them unless he had to! Or, in other words, he works until someone drags him out, so he was a safe bet. So, not my fault. I so did not want to get caught and it wasn't one of those Freudian things where I subconsciously did or whatever. But back to the point, Gambit followed me into the attic and about gave me a heart attack when he asked me if there was enough to share. Now, I always liked Gambit, but I had just never had the opportunity to get to know him better, or at all, so I had no idea if he would be mad at me sneaking in. Would he rat me out, I would have bet all the money in the world on no. But that didn't mean he wouldn't kick me out on my ass. So you can imagine my surprise when he didn't, and was relieved that I was ok. He actually gave me a hug, but I think that was a sly way of seeing how skinny I was. And I know I was skinny; it's hard to steal food these day when there are no more road side stands and grocery stores are impossible with all the cameras in them. So, I was starving and had been for some time, and I don't think either of us cared if I wasn't the most polite person in the world in my eating decorum. I stuffed my face and ate until it hurt, and then had to convince him not to get more. And of course, being the not thinking person that I had been since leaving That Place, I forgot that full stomachs make you very sleepy. So he snuck me down to his room and slept on the floor while I took his bed. Hey, it was the first bed I had been in for almost six months, and I felt no guilty what so ever in taking it. It wasn't like I had money for a motel or anything, and when you hitch hike, sleeping and leaving yourself vulnerable to a stranger was something even i in my non-thinking knew not to do. The really cool thing, the thing that helped me the most, is that he continued to hide me. I was a little shaky on my people feet, and too many at one time would have been more than I could handled. And with Rogue dating Joseph, I really don't think he was all that inclined to leave either, what with me being a good excuse to rationalize it to himself. So, we hid for about a week or so, and even though it was hard to live in one room with a man, it got easier every day. He was the perfect gentleman and let me use the bathroom first, but I think by the third day of me using all the hot water he figured he had babied me enough and he started sneaking in first.
And we talked. I didn't want to go out yet, so I had nothing to do all day but stare at his walls. We talked about me, and I told him everything. He agreed, well, maybe not agreed with my way of handling everything, but at least he understood why I ran away from everything. Why I felt I had to leave every good thing Logan had ever given me. And even if no one else could, at least he understood, really and truly appreciated the delicate situation I had found myself in, and had dealt with the best I could. Never once did he judge me or even suggest that I could have done things differently, because what good what that do me now?
Eventually the talk turned to him, and that's when I found out about the trial. I had known it was coming, but were are many, many details left out in the comics, and this was coming from his viewpoint. Very different from what I was expecting, not to mention the hurt that seemed to vibrate off him. Betrayal I know, and it is something that you never really get over. Forgiveness is possible, but forgetting is not. And I doubted he would ever forget the act of betrayal by the one person supposed to care about him above all others. Her moving on so quickly was not helping him to forgive either, let me tell ya. He was just one big ball of hurt feelings and people seemed a little slow to notice that much less make with the hugging and sharing of comfort foods. Not that he would have accepted, but that was entirely beside the point. So we spent seven days bitching about the bitchiness of life and how she always seemed to be PMSing when it came to us. Hey, I got him to laugh over that one, and it was the first time I had ever made him laugh, so let me feel proud of that, OK? Anyway, after a week, we both decided I just needed to take my chances and let the rest of the house know I was alive. As much as I'm sure he was craving his privacy, he assured me I could always hide in his room; we both knew there would be questions and examinations and testing of my powers, and it made me claustrophobic just to think about it. But knowing I had a place to run to for quiet and for safe company, a place where I could just sit with someone and think without having to necessarily offer up conversation as an admission price, that made it more bearable. So we went to sleep that last night knowing the next day would be very… interesting.
When I said interesting, I meant… well, it had its' ups and downs. When I woke up that morning Remy asked me how I wanted to go about letting everyone know I was alive and well. I wanted to see Hank first, as he has always been one of my favorites, and I had missed him the most. So I walked into his lab, not surprised to see that he barely noticed the door opening. So I stood there for a minute, until it sunk into his head that whoever had entered had not said anything for a few minutes. He took a quick sniff to see who it was, he does that when he's busy and is trying to decide if he's going to blow someone off or not (I didn't tell you anything because he has not told me that) and promptly dropped his test tube. Ignoring the spill on his floor, he spun around and pushed off the table, landing in front of me in less than a second. Grabbing me around the waist and spinning me around in a circle, he squeezed me gently- thank god considering how freakin' strong he is.
"You're back, you're back, you're back!!! I've missed you so much, Di!! I can't believe you're home, I'm so glad you're home, let's go see everyone , do they know you're home?! Oh, who cares, let's go see them and let them know YOU'RE BACK!!!!" Tossing me over his shoulder, he bounded through the door and soon had us in the kitchen, bouncing me on his hard shoulder the entire way. Not having eaten yet, this really wasn't going over all that well with my stomach, so it took me a second to realize we were actually in the kitchen; I was just making sure my stomach was still in my belly and not my nose or something. So imagine the totally graceful entrance I did not make into their lives after a few years of not knowing if I was alive or not, then finding out something horrible had happened to me, myself disappearing before they could get to me, and then popping into their kitchen months later like nothing had happened. That's not the way I meant it, but I'm sure that must have been what they thought. Not that I was like, noticing or anything, but Rogue's spoon hovered in front of her nose for a second or two and Scott dropped his toast into his lap. Right before he also tossed me into the air and spun me around. Thank god my stomach was empty or else I'd have tossed something by then. So the next second I'm the center of a big group hug and surprise, surprise the questions are flying and oh, the hugging. Just so ya know, hugging is a great way to lose a couple inches off the waist, 'specially if one of the people hugging you has super strength. Once everyone started calming down and asking questions in a more orderly fashion, it started to get a little tense. Everyone was starting to feel stuff other than surprise and relief at seeing me alive and OK, and it was the time for explanations. And as much as I wish I could have had Gambit to lean on and possibly hide me from some of the anger that was directed at me more than once that morning, I did owe these people answers and the time to vent their anger borne from worry. And while no one was satisfied with my evasion of certain questions, I think the fact that I answered everything else as honestly as I could showed them that I wasn't exactly hiding things, just that some shit needed to remain private. So by noon, I was ordered to a physical with Hank that afternoon and a consultation with Charles afterwards, with a D. R. session the next morning to test my new, ill-gotten powers. The physical was the easiest by far. A little poke and prod was no big deal, which was a big change from the first time I was Hank's patient. I think that saddened him a great deal, but he hid it well. I did a great job of cheering him up by asking for my sucker, and that's when he showed me a stash of suckers he had kept all those years in case I was ever found. He'd kept it in a box wrapped in paper and bound with a ribbon, and once I saw the suckers in that box I admit I cried. It was the first present I had received in many years, and the fact that it was candy had nothing to do with the fact that it was the most thoughtful thing someone had done for me. It was proof that I had a connection to someone, and that was priceless. I think I alarmed him because he thought his present upset me; men are so adorable when they try to console a crying female without having a clue as to how. But the hug was good enough for me to get a grip on the waterworks, and once I explained why it happened, he actually seemed pleased. Like making a girl cry was flattering. Scientists. I wanted to ask about the results from the physical, but he quickly shooed me away and reminded me of my appointment with Charles. I think he wanted to wait for his test tubes to talk to him or something first; maybe he didn't want to tell me until he had the whole picture. And perhaps some time to mourn the loss of something on my part. Fuck, I've lost so much I've become numb to it, but I understand how this could be hard for others.
So my talk with Charles was pretty predictable. Token probing, discussion of what memories I had of That Place, expression of his concern over my lack of emotional trauma. See, I wasn't huddling in a corner sucking my thumb and that concerned him. Because so many others had fallen apart under traumatic situations, I guess it was considered a normal human reaction, or lack of reaction depending on how you look at it. So the fact that I wasn't or hadn't was a cause for worry. Honestly, did these guys forget I'd been living with trauma since I was a teenager? Maybe I was just better at dealing with it, had found the best way to do so for me, and maybe I was just better at ignoring everything other than survival. But I didn't appreciate the very subtle suggestion that I was not handling my experiences as I should have. I'm sorry, but when was Charles appointed the end-all of human depth? If I choose to deal with my issues in a way that is unconventional (running away and licking my wounds until I can put it past me) then that is my choice and fuck anybody who tries to make me feel guilty about it. Don't get my wrong, Charles is a good guy and means well, but sometimes he forgets that he doesn't know everything. Maybe he has a little bit of a god complex or some shit. So I got the hell outta there the first chance I got, and the only chore left wasn't until the next day, and that was gonna be easy as hell with all the knowledge stuffed in my head. Heading straight for Gambit's room, I wasn't really surprised to find him there, probably waiting for me. I guess I was still a little pissed about my talk with Charles, because he offered me a cigarette and opened his window, disappearing. I followed him up to the roof and he lit it for me as soon as I sat down. After a few drags I started to feel better, not to mention the head spins I was getting. Damn, I had missed my cigarettes!
"Charles be preachy to my petite, non?"
"Yeah. Guess the fact that I'm not a Dionysis-shaped puddle on the floor means that I am not dealing with all the shit that they did to me. Maybe I should have a mid-life crisis, try to get a Beamer out of him and he'll be convinced of my mental veracity."
"Maybe you get deux 'n give one to Remy, hahn? Remy likes dose Lamborghini's. In black."