Title: The Right Kind of Hangover- Mending Fences Like Castle
Rating: M
Pairing: Castle/Beckett
Disclaimer: Castle's the bread to my butter, the cheese to my wine / and taking credit for creation is anything but fine. / The great Andrew Marlowe has left his touch / on this heart of mine; I love Castle as such.
Author's Note: Yes, third update in a day. Whee. And this is the part where we find out why Beckett is ticked.

Beckett: I've got to say, you're doing a really good job.
Me: Really? I'm just making it up as I go.
Beckett: Wait, what? You didn't have this planned?
Me: I had no clue about where this fiction was going until I get to that chapter, and that next part. I fly by the seat of my pants, and so far, it hasn't left me in the dust just yet.
Beckett: You realize you're about as bad as Castle?
Castle: Yeah, you're as bad as me.
Me: …Go get a room, you two. Let me finish my work!
Castle: 'The lady doth protest too much'.
Me: Just wait, I'll make YOU protest too much…
Beckett: Maybe I should just leave you two to duke it out in the cell. How's that?
Castle: *to Beckett* Oooh, then after we go at it, do you want to? Cage matches sound kind of kinky.
Me: Oh good grief…

To all my viewers, you make me happy. To all my reviewers, you make me even more happy. To all the new people who visit my fic, I hope I'm not scary. I promise. I'm a good girl. I try my hardest to write something good. And let me know how you all like what I write.

Also, you'll notice something Ryan did (that I didn't reveal yet), that echoes something Castle did in "Always": something to try and help Beckett, because he cares. Ryan and Castle are two peas in a pod, and I realized that though Ryan doesn't love Beckett like that, he might unconsciously do almost the same thing Castle would because he cared. It turned out beautifully.

Castle: You realize your chapters are getting longer?
Me: um… No. didn't think of that, but thank you for pointing that out.
Castle: Always give the audience what they want… more of me and Beckett.
Me: Where did you learn your grammar?
Castle: Shakespearean theater.
Beckett: And you're hijacking my author's note again. Do I have to cuff you?
Castle: You can't, you don't have them. Well, except for the fuzzy pink ones I slipped in your Gucci bag.

Ok, I'm done.

Cornered by Ryan felt a little like being an animal in a cage, and Kate was no one's pet. She followed him to the break room, out of sight from Gates, who was busy with paperwork in her office to even notice their presence. Good. Alexis was waiting, and a hug gave the younger Castle a bit of encouragement. "Beckett, where's Dad?"

"He's still in the cell. I have to talk to Ryan for a minute. Will you go and wait outside for a bit?"

"Sure. I need to stop in the ladies' room anyway. I uh… I will leave you two alone." She scooted out, leaving them to what would probably be one of the most painful conversations Kate'd ever had.

He seemed different. Graver. The bags under his eyelids and the slight twitch of his hands signaled a bad night's sleep. This wasn't the way it should've been. This man had saved her life. This man had stood by her, by Javi, by Castle; it was always him, her and the gang, an "us against the world" thing that was the closest thing to family she'd ever felt with anyone outside of her father and blood kin. Standing here, in the dress Castle bought her and weirdly busted for a speeding ticket; knowing Javi was somewhere else instead of at his desk, busting her chops for all the times she'd been denying her feelings for her "now" boyfriend; said boyfriend sitting in the slammer, making nicey-nice with his ex-wife; and Ryan, right there, still employed, still a cop by turning his back on his family, even though it was to protect her and Javi… this all felt wrong. All of it. None of it was right, and it was written all over his face and hers. She knew it.

Ryan cleared his throat, shifted his weight from one foot to the other, and busied himself with making them both coffees. Extending the olive branch, so to speak, even though she wasn't in the mood. "So… how're you doing since yesterday, Beckett? I uh… see you're with Castle. Kind of." He glanced down at her clothing and smiled his approval. "You look nice."

"I'm not up for small talk, Ryan. Spit it out."

"I know, but… ok, look, this doesn't feel right. You, me, Castle and Javi, we're a team, and I was looking out for you guys. I swear, I didn't want anything to happen to you."

"So you told Gates where we were. I get that. What you don't seem to get is, it's not about that. Ok? You sold us out to protect us. I get that. It's not me but Espo who took it hard."

"He talked to you?"

"Right after I threw my badge down and walked away. He caught me walking through the parking garage towards the bus stop… I'd never seen him so mad before…"

Kevin grimaced. She bet he hated himself now. "What… what did he say?"

"That he couldn't trust you. That he couldn't stand to work with you. After all these years, after all the deception and lies, the battles he's had to come up against to keep this city safe… Ike, chasing killers, watching Castle and me go after something or another and he had nowhere to go, how he didn't have our backs because he couldn't… He didn't expect you to stab him in the back like that. I told him it wasn't your fault. You were upholding the badge, doing right by the law, trying to keep us safe… He didn't want to hear that. Then, he threw his coat on and walked away. I haven't heard from him since."

"So, why are you so mad at me? What did I do?"

She glared at him, but somehow, talking had diffused her. It drained all her anger away. "You called Dad. Somewhere between the start and the end of Gates's lambasting, you called him and told him to come get me, like I was some kind of child. I know you did it because you knew he'd want to make sure I was still breathing. I'd almost died again. The first time was bad enough, this time, even though I'd survived… It ripped him up. But he should… he shouldn't have been involved, not then anyway. I… I didn't want him to know just yet. He'd worry too much, and I didn't want to tell him, especially considering that what happened on that rooftop didn't really even hit me until later. I didn't even fully realize what happened; all I knew or cared about was I had to get to Castle… But you took that decision right out of my hands." Coffee brewed, he handed her a cup silently and she took it with a nod and a sip. "Dad drove around aimlessly until he saw me start walking. He was frantic, wanted to pick me up, make sure I was ok, and I ran to the side of the car. Tried to tell him to go away, and I… I think I hurt him really badly. I love him, but I didn't need him there… He couldn't stop hugging me through the window, and I was so mad…" she felt tears welling in her eyes. "He wanted me to stay with him, and when I told him I'd resigned, he thought that was the best decision I made that day. I fought with him and told him I had to go, but he didn't… he didn't understand. He didn't want to let me go." She gripped the cup in her hand, the warm comfort of porcelain soothing her spirits. "He must have thought I was going after Maddox again, or something like that. And that's when it started to rain, and I just… ghosted. I left. I didn't want to deal with you, or Dad, or anyone else. I just wanted to push everything out of my head, everything but Castle. That's all I wanted."

"You love him, don't you?"

She turned to him and nodded. "I got to the park, and just felt… numb. For a little while, just sat there on the swing and everything came back to me… What happened on the rooftop, Maddox, the precinct, even Castle. Especially Castle. I can't explain it, Kev. It's like something happened, someone threw a switch and I was feeling things for what felt like the first time. It was all so real, and I'd been rubbed so raw through the entire thing that it all just… clicked. It was this realization that things were finally… right. Even though it all felt wrong. Everything was wrong, and it still just worked. How does that happen?"

Ryan smiled, nodding his understanding and stood next to her, collected his thoughts and spoke. "I understand. Sometimes, Jenny wakes me up at night, just to make sure I'm still breathing, that I'm still alive. She knows that what I do is something that can get me killed one day. It just might. So sometimes, she just likes to know that I'm still around. We're still married till death do us part, even when she knows that… that might be around the corner. She's aware of how wrong that is… but it makes every day we're together more alive. I think it's the same for you and Castle. You've stared down death more than once, and so has he. Each day, we see how real it is, and we just live it all up as best we can. That's the risk of living."

"I'm sorry I got mad at you. I was just… frustrated."

"It's ok. At least now I know why you were upset with me in there. When you left yesterday, I thought we were good, but that… that clears up a lot. Now, if only I can convince Javi that I'm sorry..." He looked less certain of that, and frowned. "I don't know if he'll even speak to me when he comes back."

"He will. It'll be hard, but the 'bromance' shall live on."

Ryan laughed, and bumped her with his elbow. "Are you going to come back, too? It won't be the same here without you, Kate."

Kate hesitated, uncertain. Would she? Would she be back, beg for her job back? How would that work, knowing that resigned with the intent to never walk through the doors again? Speaking for the dead had been her calling, and now… she was happy. Castle made her happy. She was free to do whatever she wanted, but what was her calling now? She hadn't thought of that in years, hadn't wanted to, really. The badge had been everything in her world and she'd given it up for love. For freedom. For a shot at happiness. Who was she without it? She assumed she'd find out, one day at a time. "I don't know. Odds are, not too quickly, if ever. I walked away for a reason, Ryan. I'm not going to step back into something that I'm not sure I have a place in anymore."

"Ah. And I'm guessing Castle's not going to be back either, huh? He's got to follow his muse. Wherever you go, he goes."

She snickered halfheartedly. "He probably will come back to do more 'research'."

"You really believe that? He's not here for the books anymore, Kate. He's in it for you. Always has been. It's probably the end of Nikki Heat as we know it."

Kate never thought of it that way. Huh? No more Nikki? Suddenly, she felt her insides congeal into molten sludge. Derek Storm, Nikki Heat… He created them, and he could create something new too, but Nikki… Nikki was personal. It was his love letter to her, to her job, to her existence as a police officer, no matter how much she denied it. Now that she wasn't a cop anymore… what would he do? Retire her? Cripple her? Kill her?

Did her decision just kill a part of his career?

"Hey." She turned her head and saw Alexis standing there, smiling slightly, hopefully. A glance at her dad's watch told Kate she had been talking for almost an hour. She tuned back into the redhead. "Gina's trying to get the two of you sprung from the jail. She said something about royalties and convincing the judge, although I'm pretty sure she didn't mean both of those at the same time." She pointed towards the two of them. "You guys ok?"

Kate smiled and nodded, feeling a little bit better despite her stomach acid. Three of the four family members were back together. It felt like things were starting to fall back in place... Sort of. "Yeah. We're good. Let's go see your dad."