Lies Under a Mask

by The Scarf Girls

Project Sunshine finally started. It's August 2015 and the training camp for the Aqours members is tomorrow. After long struggles with the choreography, Suwa Nanaka was kindly asked by Saito Shuka to come over her house to practice. This is the beginning from feelings to bloom.

10. Chapter 10

Notes:

Hi! Misha here!
Wow...it's been a YEAR! of a lot of things. Finally, Lies Under a Mask ends here.
It's been quite a ride.
I'm sorry for taking that long, this chapter was hard to write due to a lot of feelings going on...
I hope you like it! and please don't hate me... take your tissues out!
Sometimes we need to suffer to let better things come... right?
Final chapter right ahead!
Please Enjoy!

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Lies Under a Mask

Chapter 10

Sometimes you need to close your eyes.
It's a human reflection to avoid pain. When people get hurt and feel pain, they close their eyes with the hope that with that reflect, it hurts less.
Or in its defect, stops the pain.

But the pain can't be stopped just like that.

It enters through your skin, breaks your bones and hurts your heart and tears your soul apart.

Nanaka felt that way; she felt that kind of pain.

And no matter how tightly she closed her eyes, the pain didn't seem to fade, and it was about to get worse.

In her mind, Shuka's words repeated like in constant loop;

"Give me a good reason to not end this thing right now, I'm done."

She was done.

Nanaka needed to find "a good" reason to save her relationship. But what reason was more powerful than the fact that she loved Shuka? Wasn't that enough anymore? Was it ever enough? Why couldn't Shuka see the big picture of it all?

They were Seiyuus, pretending to be idols in a fake world. It was supposed that their relationship was something real. Shuka had asked Kawakami Nao to be her girlfriend, not Suwa Nanaka; and all this time Shuka had been throwing tantrums because Suwa Nanaka needed to act gay towards Aina. And it hurt her, Nanaka understood that from the very first time, and tried so hard to keep her relationship working and make Shuka happy, even if that cost Nanaka her career, or position in the project.

Of course, Nanaka wasn't a saint, she had also flirted with Aina, but her heart was committed to Shuka, and every Aqours member knew it, all but Shuka. It seemed that her insecurities kicked so hard every time Nanaka had to do her job and just couldn't resist it.

And this time wasn't any different.

This time Arisa had set Nanaka up on the Radio broadcast, live and raw for every fan to hear that she loved Aina the most. And Shuka for sure was done with this shit.

After a painful message on the Line Chat, Nanaka managed to convince Shuka to come early to practice and talk about it.

Unexpectedly, Shuka had agreed, and there they were.

Nanaka had run downstairs to meet her in the main entrance of the building, and Shuka didn't hesitate in asking for it; a "Good reason".

Nanaka received that punch and closed her eyes feeling the pain.

Of course, she just couldn't ease the pain that way, so she had to open her eyes and meet an angry Shuka. Facing her fears was easier than facing Shuka.

She probably would have preferred to eat an entire bowl of rice than have this conversation with Shuka in her angry state. But she needed to do it.

Nanaka took a deep breath and gave Shuka a faint smile.

"Hi Shuka," started Nanaka.

"Stop it, save your breath and answer me," said Shuka in her serious tone.

"Do you want to have this conversation here...?" asked Nanaka showing the building's main hall. Sure, now they were alone, but the building held a lot of people, workers, other artists, or even the rest of the members.

How would the members react if they saw them fight? Worse, if they knew they were no longer a couple?

Nanaka had cold sweat running down her spine. That idea was painful.

"I don't want to spend more time than necessary with you..." said Shuka with pain; that pain reached Nanaka as well; one thing was to be angry, another was to be mad to the point of not wanting to share the same space with someone.

Nanaka blinked a few times.
Was that bad?

The gears inside Nanaka's mind moved faster, trying to find a solution.

First, it was despair, sadness.

Shuka was so mad with her to the point that being in the same room was painful.
But, what Nanaka had done was really that terrible? She hadn't cheated on her, Arisa had set her up.

Then, it was rage.

This wasn't fair, and Shuka knew it. She should have known Nanaka better enough to not believe in that false confession; there wasn't anything new, they all knew that Nanaka and Aina had to do their thing, it was part of the show. So, now Shuka was mad? This was another tantrum.

And who was going to be affected by this tantrum, was the full Unit.

"Aqours," said Nanaka serious.

"What?" asked Shuka dryly.

"That's a good reason why we shouldn't end this thing now…" said Nanaka with a serious tone, if Shuka wanted to play the role of victim, then Nanaka must play the role of an older sister.

"What do you mean?" asked Shuka confused, but serious.

"Let's talk somewhere else," said Nanaka moving towards the elevator.

"I said no," said Shuka without even moving.

Nanaka pressed the elevator button, waited a few seconds and slightly looked over her shoulder with her deathly glare.

"I'm not asking, come," said Nanaka, then turned again, waiting for the elevator.

Five seconds later Shuka stood beside her, feeling awkward until the elevator came and opened its door.

They entered and it was Nanaka who pressed the floor's button. In reality, she didn't know where she was going and taking an angry Shuka with her, but everywhere was better than the main entrance. She thought about the different rooms in the building. At this point, Nanaka knew all its hidden spots, because those where their spots were to consummate their forbidden love.

That thought made Nanaka soften her gaze; she felt sad. She closed her eyes to suppress the pain, of course, it didn't help. The bell rang telling them they were on the floor, and the doors opened. Nanaka opened her eyes and walked outside, Shuka followed her.

She knew that Aina and Arisa were still in the building, actually, her bag and stuff were with them. They were in the production's office eating Aina's cake, and practice wouldn't start for one more hour. So, the changing room was a better option.

She opened the door and let herself in first, then held the door for Shuka to enter; she stopped in the entrance.

"The changing room?… You want us to talk here…?" asked Shuka with one of her eyebrows raised.

Nanaka blinked a few times not saying a thing, but still with her serious "Suwa Face". This was their safe place after all; it also made some sense to bring Shuka there. Shuka just snorted and entered, Nanaka closed the door behind.

Shuka walked towards the bench in the middle of the room and left her bags. Then took off her jacket and left it on top of her things. She turned around and crossed her arm. She was serious.

Nanaka walked slowly closer to her and stopped at a prudent distance; of course, now that she knew that Shuka didn't want to be in a room with her, it made everything different.

It pissed her off.

"So? The strongest reason you could find is 'Aqours'?..." said Shuka with a mad tone.

Nanaka shook her head.

"The strongest reason is that I love you...but seems that that's not enough...and now I'm thinking that maybe it never was..." retorted Nanaka.

"What do you mean?"

"Shuka, this is because what I said on the radio right?" asked Nanaka softly.

"Well, sort of... kinda knew you would cheat on me with Ainya someday..." said Shuka with a tired and angry tone; Nanaka opened her eyes wide.

...eh~ wha—t...

What?...

WhAt?!

"WHAT?!" snapped Nanaka in a loud tone; a tone which was weird on her, Shuka opened her eyes in surprise too.

"That-"

"That's bullshit!" interrupted Nanaka with a clear angry face and tone. That felt almost like an insult.

"Bu—"

"No, stop right there, Saito Shuka," Nanaka called out angrily, Shuka gasped and bit her lips.

Maybe she had never seen an angry Nanaka before; maybe the closest to anger or mad Shuka had ever seen in her was when Nanaka had faced Arisa in order to defend her or the relationship against Arisa's inquisitive scolding. This time Shuka had struck a terrible spot.

"That's some heavy accusation you are making..." continued Nanaka looking straight into Shuka's eyes, "Yes, I have done things with Aina; all for the project, with cameras and people from the staff around, because that was we were told to do, but never... NEVER, behind your back! I could never cheat on you! How dare you?!"

"But you said—"

"FOR THE SHOW!" shouted Nanaka with a strong voice; a voice she never thought she would have.

Shuka opened her eyes wide in shock, her skin became paler than a sheet of paper.
Nanaka started to tremble, her fists tight in impotence. Suddenly a few tears fell hopelessly from her eyes.

"Ari—Arisa set me up..." said Nanaka now softly and looking to her shoes, feeling her tears welling in her eyes and falling from her cheeks; she cleaned some of the tears with the back of her wrist.

"She...she made me answer that question right in the booth, live, what—What I was supposed— to do...I had to go with the flow..." said Nanaka trying to suppress her pain.

Shuka looked at her with sadness; it was clear that she wasn't sure if she needed to be angry, sad or feel pity for Nanaka. After all, she was just following orders. All NanaAinya was just an order from production, and even if Nanaka tried to fight that order with the Chief of staff, she couldn't win that fight, and the best she could do was to reveal those plans to the rest of the members.

Nanaka had to do a task she didn't want to, she knew that Shuka was going to be the most damaged of all, but even so, Nanaka was trying to do everything possible to alleviate that pain.

Not succeeding that much.

"I... I know... I can hurt you..." continued Nanaka with some sniffles, "But that was never my intention...I can hurt you by giving you jealousy rushes...but— but, I can't cheat on you...I just can't!"

"Nanaka..." called Shuka with sadness, her eyes welled in tears too, "I'm sorry..."

"How...how is your own insecurity Shuka, that you just...geez— you just don't trust me," said Nanaka recovering her normal tone.

"It's not that I don't trust you... it's..." started Shuka, but she shut abruptly.

"It's what?...what Shuka?" asked Nanaka recovering her anger.

"It's..." Shuka fixed her sight on Nanaka, "I don't know..." finished Shuka.

It seemed that all her "anger" faded at the moment Nanaka had shouted back at her. Nanaka blinked a few times trying to recover her normal breathing.

Shuka bought her hands to her head and tried to squeeze the answers out of it between sounds of frustrations; Nanaka blinked a few times gathering some pieces of her mask.

Don't blame the toaster... don't you dare to put the blame on the freaking toaster!

Then Shuka stopped and looked at Nanaka with a sad face.

"I...I think I don't trust myself..." said Shuka with sadness, "you...you look good with her..." she finished with almost a whisper.

"Eh...?"

"I...can't control it...it's like..." said Shuka recovering her anger, "everything you do with her it's natural for ya', and looks good...and you...we can't do that—"

"What the hell are you talking about? Shuka, what I do with her is fake!" Nanaka tried to retort.

"But it doesn't feel fake!" Shuka answered back, "The fans are really believing in your thingies with Ainya, and it feels real...and the members teased me about it, I ...just... how am I not going to think that you are cheating on me with her?! All I see are your pictures with her, you teasing her live on the freaking Niconamas, your closeness on the last photo shoot and a confession live on a podcast, it's mind-blowing!"

Nanaka stood there like a stone, blinking; the gears in her mind working at maximum capacity.

The pictures, yes; the teasing on the Niconama, sure; the closeness on the photo shoot?…

What…Photoshoot…?

Oh… right… the Photo shoot….the B.L.T Voice Girls interview and photo shoot… but that was months ago…we even had the older uniform…

Jesus Shuka… since then?!…

Nanaka tried to put her best "Suwa face"; that photo shoot had been fun indeed, they gathered them in an actual school and took pictures as school girls, it had been fun to remember the old times when she was a student. They did group pictures, individual pictures and "Year members" pictures. Of course, the only pictures Shuka and Nanaka could share were the group pictures, where in the beginning Nanaka tried to do her best by holding hands with Shuka - mostly because the lineup let her do so if they stood beside each other-, but of course, the Chief of Staff and the photographer had mixed them and made them change positions, and Nanaka had to hold hands and hug Aina, of course, for the project.

If Shuka was lucky, a picture or two of them holding hands would be featured in the magazine, but if not, the fans would only see Nanaka being gay with Aina. But, that was months ago. In fact, it was when Nanaka had gained weight, and that was when they were fine as a couple.

So why bring that up now? Was Nanaka so much in her own world that she hadn't even noticed that Shuka was in pain?

Nanaka blinked a few times snapping out of her thoughts, Shuka was still ranting about her.

"And then I asked you about a good reason to don't stop this madness and you just answered me with 'Aqours'?! Is the group more important than us?!" asked Shuka with some mixed tones of sadness and anger.

"I told you that the best reason was my love for you—" tried Nanaka.

"No, you answered 'Aqours'!"

"Jesus! You should have blamed the toaster!" snapped Nanaka; Shuka bit her lips, then frowned.

"What?"

Nanaka started to massage her temples in order to clear her ideas. This was taking any direction, neither of them was on the same page.

"What does the toaster have anything to do with you cheating on me?" asked Shuka confused.

Nanaka sighed tiredly.

"First," Nanaka rose one finger, "I have never cheated on you, I can't cheat on anyone, and second" she rose a second finger, "I think the toaster might have something to do with you not seeing this clearly..."

"Are you saying I'm dumb?" asked Shuka outraged.

"You are the stupid kid" retorted Nanaka with a little bit of an amused tone.

"Yes, that's right..." said Shuka softly in a tired tone; Nanaka curved the tip of her lips and gave Shuka an apologetic smile.

"But you are my stupid kid..." said Nanaka softly taking a step forward, but then stopped. Shuka held her breath and blinked a few times.

This was a fight. And the battle hasn't won yet.

"Ok, let's solve this, one thing at a time..." said Nanaka softly, "While I understand why you might be angry with me...And I totally get why... you have to understand that this is my work, I was asked to do things with her, and you have to trust me...that I only have eyes for you..."

"But I'm tired..." said Shuka softly; Nanaka bit her lips and opened her eyes wide.

"Tired...?" repeated Nanaka.

Tired of me?
Tired of me flirting with Aina...?
We haven't even been a year as Aqours and she is tired of this...how are we going to bear it for four more years... Jesus...

"Yes, tired, because no matter what you say to me, I have to WATCH you flirting with her...and the pictures and well, everything else..." said Shuka tiredly, "I think I can't...I'm not strong enough…" finished Shuka in shame.

Nanaka blinked a few times, her lips shivering.

That meant that Shuka was giving up. She was giving up on the relationship.

She is giving up on me…

Nanaka's eyes started to water without her noticing. She just couldn't close her eyes to bear the pain or to make merely flinch on the punch. She just received it with her eyes wide open.

It hurt.

She felt as if someone had taken her heart out of her chest and crushed her lungs; breathing was such a terrible task.

Nanaka blinked realizing how messed up she was; her eyes falling apart in tears, her hands shaking and her knees weak.

She felt alone, cold, heartbroken and forsaken.

"Hey…hey…Nana-chan…" called Shuka softly looking at this mess; she tried to approach Nanaka, but she just couldn't.

"No…" murmured Nanaka in an inaudible voice; her voice was broken too, "don't… don't call me like that…" said Nanaka fixing her blurry sight on Shuka.

"I'm...sorry…" said Shuka with a sad tone and then looked at her shoes in shame; she was destroying Nanaka.

"Why…I…" Nanaka closed her eyes tight and covered her face with both hands, she was crying so much that it was even a surprise for her.

"Su…Suwawa…" called Shuka softly, she started to sniff too, maybe because she had just realized that her declaration screamed out loud that they needed to break up.

After all, all these months, all the sacrifices, all the fights, not only with her, with Aina, with Arisa, with production. All her efforts trying to do things right. All in the garbage, because she was tired.

Shuka was tired.

Tired.

No, no ….no no… I can't…

I can't accept THIS.

I refuse to end this because of that!

Nanaka cleaned her tears with her wrists and hands. She tried to take some deep breath in order to clear her head and her throat.

"Shuka…" called Nanaka softly, "You… you don't love me anymore?" asked Nanaka with some sniffles and a lot of pain in her everything.

What more damage could she receive now? Her heart was on the floor already broken, her lungs already smashed, and her eyes already swollen. If the answer was a "no", she could take it, eyes open wide.

"Na—Nanaka…" called Shuka; she was afraid, it was clear that Shuka wanted to hug Nanaka and comfort her, but at that moment, she just couldn't move an inch, "Are you….are you doubting—"

"Yes, I am," said Nanaka now dryly and upset, "Two days ago you asked me how dare I to doubt about your feelings…and here I am…all messed up and heartbroken because you….you are tired…." finished Nanaka with a thin voice.

"I…" tried Shuka with tears falling down her cheeks, but she couldn't finish her words.

"If you love me like you said you do…then…then…" Nanaka sniffled, "then, you shouldn't be…tired…"

"Suwawa… I'm…sorry…"

"No, I am…" said Nanaka cleaning more tears from her eyes, "I'm sorry about Aqours….I'm sorry about you…and I'm sorry about me… for letting me fall in love with a kid like you…"

Shuka made a bitter face; indeed Nanaka was punching back.

"You know…?" continued Nanaka with her voice broken and sniffling, "I'm tired too… I'm tired to try to make you happy, because… because no matter what I do, you always end up angry with me…or throwing tantrums… or whatever, but not happy…. with you I have to think twice what to say, what to do… it tires me…" she cleaned another tear and then cleared her throat, "…but here I am… willing to still fight for you, for us…because I love you, and we knew that this was going to be hard and all…but here I am… willing to give you explanations, not sure why, of why I did my job and at the same time that was wrong and it upsets you…"

"Suwawa…I—" tried Shuka but Nanaka interrupted her.

"You know that what I have with Aina is fake, it's for the show, but it still bothers you….it 'tires' you… please…" snorted Nanaka, "It every tantrum you throw tires me because I'm doing my job! Regardless if Arisa had set me up right there, live on the podcast, you should trust me more! Shuka I love you, I have done everything for you! That's why I said that maybe that's not enough…my love is not enough for you!" finished Nanaka now more angry than sad.

"That's not it…please…Suwawa…" called Shuka now cleaning some tears from her cheeks.

"If my love for you is not enough, and it's not a powerful reason…" started Nanaka again with a broken voice, "Then, do it for Aqours; we are a powerful reason to continue"

Shuka blinked a few times not understanding.

"The group?…again, the group is more import—" tried Shuka.

"No, no…Geez!" snapped Nanaka now losing her shit, "Shuka, for me you are always first! Every freaking decision I made was because of you, then the group! I'm here willing to compromise myself again because it's worth it, you….you are worthy…to me…and now you tell me that you are tired….tired of seeing me working…" finished Nanaka massaging her temples.

Silence filled the room except for some soft sobs.

At that moment everything came to Nanaka's mind. The first dancing lesson in Shuka's house, their conversation in the back of the reception cottage on the training camp, Arisa scolding them in the yard, Aina losing her shit about their relationship, the secret gatherings, their date at the Aquarium, Shuka's confession, Nanaka's conversation with the Chief about the NanaAinya, then telling the members about their relationship. Second Single Center election. Subunits election. The trip to America.

A year of decisions. All decisions for her and Shuka to be happy.

"You… you asked Kawakami Nao to be your girlfriend….not Suwa Nanaka…" said Nanaka softly, Shuka locked gazes with her, "My job as Suwa Nanaka is to flirt with Suzuki Aina…" continued Nanaka with a strong voice, "If you can't see that….if you can't see me, Nao, behind Nanaka's mask, then…yes, we…we need to break up…" finished Nanaka with a thin voice and some tears falling from her cheeks.

Shuka swallowed. Clearly, she hadn't measured her own anger when she started with the text messages. This time the damage was too big to play the fool or to blame the freaking toaster.

"And that's why I'm sorry about Aqours; because our break up will break the Unit…" said Nanaka cleaning her tears.

"And you pretend to keep our relationship for the sake of the group…that's not healthy…" said Shuka softly.

Nanaka didn't say a thing, just looked at Shuka with a blank expression. Shuka blinked a few times and then added;

"But, yes… they would take sides… our performance can decrease… yes, it's tricky but—"

"Shuka" cut Nanaka; Shuka looked at her with a serious expression.

"Do you love me….do you still love me?" asked Nanaka this time with no tears falling.

"Yes, I do…I love you Nanaka…" said Shuka, no hesitation.

No, you should love Nao, not Nanaka…

But, let's not dig into that too much…

"Then?… Why do we want to compromise the full Unit?… If we love each other, we can still work together…don't mess with them…" insisted Nanaka, holding on to a feeling, a lie, whatever worked.

"I… geez— I…" started Shuka to mumble.

"If there is love…we can still work it out…right?" asked Nanaka with a shy smile.

"Yes…yes… everything you have said is true… but, Suwawa… it's been hard! It's difficult for me to see you flirting with her… and besides, she is enjoying that… people are enjoying what is supposed to be mine!"

Nanaka opened her eyes wide in surprise.

Mine?

What's hers? When did she start to own me?…

Jesus!…

Nanaka shook her head and determined that that issue should be for another fight as well; right now the main theme was to maintain the relationship alive. She massaged her temples trying to get everything straight.

"Ok, so…let me think…" said Nanaka still massaging her temples, she moved to the bench and sat beside Shuka's stuff.

Shuka made a bitter smile and moved her stuff aside and sat next to Nanaka, but with considerate distance.

Both stayed sitting awkwardly in silence looking to the changing room entrance, maybe hoping that a member would come in and save them both from this terrible state of nothing and confusion.

Nanaka took a deep breath.

Looking at the relationship in another perspective, everything was falling apart. There wasn't communication between them; Shuka felt that Nanaka was even cheating on her with Aina just because of the pictures, or the things they did on the Niconamas, so the mere thought of telling Shuka that, besides all that, Aina had stayed in her house for the last 3 month was out of the question. Even if they hadn't done a thing besides holding hands and sharing a room.

Shuka didn't need to know that.

But what bothered Shuka was that Nanaka had to flirt with Aina on camera and not with her. Because Nanaka was Shuka's property.

That sounded twisted.

That sounds wrong…

Anyways, was it just that? She was tired of the relationship because of that? But Shuka said she still loved Nanaka, and that she understood that if they broke up, Aqours could fall with them. So what was the real issue there? If they loved each other, why break up? Did Shuka want to break up?

"Ok, so…Shuka" started Nanaka softly without even looking at her, "What do you want? You want to break up?"

Shuka looked at her abruptly; Nanaka felt Shuka's gaze, and slowly turned around locking eyes. Shuka had a clear sad face and a lonely falling tear.

"I…" started Shuka, her lips shivering, then looked at her feet in shame, "I don't want… but I don't know if I can go on like this…"

"Ok…" said Nanaka softly; It wasn't because Shuka didn't love her, it was because Shuka was insecure.

"I'm sorry Suwawa, I'm…just so jealous! I… I'm really happy to be 'You-chan', but sometimes I wish I was 'Mari-chan' and share more with you; I hated to know that you were feeling so lonely… I …sometimes I feel so helpless…I don't know why you want to be with me…"

Nanaka made a sad smile, she moved closer to Shuka and then moved her left hand to touch Shuka's right hand, she searched for her fingers; Shuka turned to lock gazes with Nanaka and gave her a faint smile, she held her hand with their fingers entwined and softly caressing the back of Nanaka's hand.

"Let me get this right…" started Nanaka looking shyly at Shuka; her eyes were now swollen and a little bit itchy. It seemed that crying with her contacts wasn't a good idea, "You…you still love me right…?"

"Right…" answered Shuka softly.

"And you…you don't want to break up…" continued Nanaka.

"No…it's not what I want but—"

Nanaka rose her right hand signing Shuka to hold her words; Shuka nodded.

"Ok, so we still love each other, but you feel insecure with me because of my job with Aina…is that it?" asked Nanaka in her dry tone.

Shuka opened her eyes wide, maybe realizing that all the problem was summarized in just that line. She loved Nanaka but she felt insecure because of the NanaAinya. Simple.

"Yes…sounds like that…that's it…" said Shuka softly and then she rose their entwined hands to kiss Nanaka's without taking her eyes away from her; Nanaka's heart skipped a beat, or two.

With that act, Nanaka could reaffirm that she still loved Shuka. She still gave her the chills, her heart racing like crazy. She was in love, and she just couldn't let Shuka go.

"I'm sorry…Am I just too selfish?" asked Shuka softly; Nanaka smiled.

Yes, you are…

But I am too, I wanted to have everything….you, Aina…both of you, just for me… and this is what happened…

"Ok…so…what can we do?" asked Nanaka.

Shuka gave her a sad smile.

"I…I was hoping that you would know what to do…" said Shuka shyly, "You…you always know what to do…"

Nanaka made a sad face; that wasn't true, 99% of the time she didn't know what the hell she was doing, or about the relationship, but true, if they had lasted almost a year long as NanaShuka, it was because Nanaka was the one who always seemed have a plan.

She was the demure one, the older one, the big sister; and Shuka was dependent on her. The relationship started to fall apart at the very first moment Shuka started to be more independent and started hiding in CYaRon!, or "Second Years"; it seemed that without Nanaka, she was lost. And of course, none of CYaRon!'s members, or Rikako, could tell her what to do about the situation in her relationship. So that was why Shuka was back with Nanaka, to ask her what to do now.

"Ok…" said Nanaka softly, "What do you want then Shuka?… It's always me the one who 'asked' things from you…what do you want from me?"

"Eh…?" started Shuka a little bit overwhelmed; she smiled wide but troubled, "I…I want you all for myself…"

Nanaka chuckled.

"We can't do that Sweetie…" said Nanaka softly; Shuka smiled sweetly at her.

"You…you called me 'Sweetie' again…I'm happy…" said Shuka softly, almost interrupting Nanaka.

Nanaka smiled back and rose their entwined hands to kiss Shuka's.
Shuka smiled wide at that; there was love in her eyes.

"Ok, so, I get it…" said Nanaka in her low tone, "We…we still have love for each other… that's not the issue… your problem with me is because I have to do stuff with Aina, stuff that still bothers you…"

"It does…I mean…I get it…it's your job, I have struggled a lot…and Nanaka…" Shuka stopped to look at Nanaka right in her eyes, "A LOT, to not make a scene on the last Niconama…or the photoshoot..."

"But, Sweetie—"

"Yes, it's fake, it's for the show…I know…but like I said…it feels so real, you look so good with Ainya, I dare to say that you look even more comfortable with her than with me…" said Shuka with real sadness; Nanaka made a bitter smile, "and the worse thing is that I have to watch you and smile about it…"

Shuka rose her sight to the ceiling like taking a deep breath. Then looked at Nanaka with her eyes welled in tears.

"I…I have to smile…" said Shuka with sadness in her throat and the bitterest smile ever.

Nanaka rose her eyebrows in pain. This was really hurting Shuka. Watching Nanaka all happy and mellow with Aina on camera, Aina enjoying that of course, and she had to stay put, bear the situation and smile. Smile wide like if that was normal.

It was understandable that Shuka was tired of it. Nanaka understood.

She had to also recognize that Shuka was a hell of an actress; she was bearing all this with a smile and humor.

"I…I see…" said Nanaka softly and tightening her grasp on Shuka's.

"So…I don't know… I don't know what hurts more…not having you while being with you…or….or… or not having you at all…" said Shuka sniffling.

"Hey… hey…" called Nanaka softly; Shuka looked at her, her tears falling from her puffy cheeks.

Nanaka softly touched Shuka's cheeks with her right hand and tried to wipe away her tears.

Yes, Nanaka could comfort Shuka even if she was a mess herself, a thing that Shuka couldn't do when Nanaka was losing her shit.

Yes, because she is a kid…

My kid…

"Shuka, Sweetie…" called Nanaka softly looking at Shuka with a sweet gaze; "Neither of us wants to break up… so let's fix this situation….ok?"

Shuka nodded.

Nanaka withdraw her gentle hand from Shuka's cheek and rested it on her lap.

"There are not many options; I can't stop what I do with Aina…it's our job… also, I can't remove Aina from Aqours, we are nine…" said Nanaka softly, Shuka nodded again, she also knew that.

"I can't ask you to bear it more than you are already are…" continued Nanaka, "So, I'm the one who needs to fix this…"

"How…?" asked Shuka with a sniffle.

"Well, the problem is that you want me to do the things I do with Aina…with you…right?"

Shuka nodded cutely.

"Ok… I guess…I can do that…" said Nanaka softly; Shuka opened her eyes wide.

"Really?…" asked Shuka with hope.

"Well, I've already hugged you on camera… why should that be any different?" said Nanaka seriously. Shuka opened her mouth like a fish.

Nanaka smiled at her.

"You…you are serious?…" asked Shuka again.

"Shuka, I can do it…if this is what you want, and it makes you happy, I'll do it… really…" said Nanaka in her low tone.

"I…I… " tried Shuka but she just smiled wide at Nanaka, as if life had come back to her body.

"And, remember that I'm 'Kanan', I can hug people around...right?" said Nanaka with a smile; Shuka giggled.

"Yes...that's true..." said Shuka softly and caressing Nanaka's hand.

"We can work it out..."

"We...we can take advantage of the lineup...you and I are seated together..." said Shuka with her bright smile, Nanaka nodded.

"Good, I'm glad..." said Shuka sighing, relieved.

Nanaka blinked a few times, there was something still bothering her.

"Shuka, I just wanted to tell you, for the record...that…" started Nanaka, she cleared her throat, "no matter what happens with us… Aqours can't be damaged…"

"Oh...I—"

"Let me finish…"

"Ok…"

"Aqours can't be affected by us…no matter what happens, if we break up or we get into a fight, they can't be part of us… our performances need to be good…and because of that, no matter what happens with us, I'll love you anyway… you aren't just my girlfriend anymore, you are my friend, my teammate in Aqours, and for that, I'll always love you…" said Nanaka with a serious tone, "Also… you should know by now, that my sense of justice is really big; I'm so committed to us, to the project, to you…I'll never cheat on you, I just can't"

"I'm sorry if that offended you…" said Shuka sad looking at her shoes in shame.

"It hurt me… because I can't cheat on you, I love you just too much to do that…" said Nanaka with a coy smile and using her right hand to touch Shuka's cheek for her to look up.

"I'm serious..." said Nanaka with her straight face, locking her gaze into Shuka's eyes, "I love you, Saito Shuka"

Shuka gave her a big smile and a cry of joy; she broke their entwined hands to hug Nanaka. Of course, Nanaka hugged her back.

"I love you too, Nana-chan..." murmured Shuka into the embrace, "I miss you so much...please let's stop fighting...I hate it..."

Then stop throwing tantrums dammit...

Nanaka rolled her eyes, it wasn't easy not getting in a fight with Shuka when almost all the time she was doing her jealousy thing. Nanaka just rubbed her back and then added softly;

"Next Aqours event will be at the end of the month, in Numazu, let me show you and the fans what you mean to me..."

Nanaka broke their embrace to hold Shuka's cheeks; they locked gazes, sweet sights of love and hope. Nanaka's eyes were all swollen, and maybe also red; Shuka's weren't any better either, but to Nanaka, those beautiful eyes meant everything. They were looking at her with such sweetness and passion, that the only thing she could do was fall in love with her all over again.

Nanaka captured Shuka's lips and sealed the victory of another battle for the NanaShuka relationship. They were trapped in that sweet and salty kiss when Shuka broke the spell.

She grabbed Nanaka's cheeks and smiled at her wide.

"You make me happy…" said Shuka giggling.

Nanaka smiled sweetly at her.

"You make me happy too…" said Nanaka softly, then sighed, "Jesus, I'm beaten…"

Shuka laughed and entwined her fingers with Nanaka's.

"Nana-chan, practice is like….now…" said Shuka amused.

"I know…I don't feel I have the strength to bear practice now…" said Nanaka in a tired tone; fighting for the relationship really drained her, she felt her eyes tired and with the imperious urge to cuddle with Shuka in a bed and sleep.

That thought made her twitch.

"Hey…c'mere…" said Shuka and pulled Nanaka's body to hers and captured her lips in a long and wet kiss.

Nanaka didn't say a thing, she just enjoyed the feeling and the sweet kisses that tasted like salty glory. She missed Shuka too, her warmth, her scent, her everything.

Shuka encircled her arms around Nanaka's neck while Nanaka hugged Shuka by the waist; they lost each other in that passionate kiss that said everything that needed to be said: they loved each other. Period.

Nanaka was enjoying Shuka's tongue playing with hers when they felt the changing's door opening abruptly with the noisy chitchat from the members.

"…And then—holy crap!" snapped Aiai with her unmistakable tone.

"Jesus!" said Aikyan; of course, Nanaka and Shuka parted from each other's lips, but Shuka didn't leave Nanaka's neck. Both locked gazes with the members entering the changing room, "First years" stood in the front of the line, frozen, obstructing the other members from entering the room.

"Are we interrupting something?…" asked King amused.

"You always do…" said Shuka giggling.

"Hey! What's wrong?!" they could hear Arisa's voice behind them.

"Seems that the love birds need a room!" shouted King and then moved on letting the rest of the members come in.

"What?!" snapped Arisa.

"Sorry to interrupt…" said Aiai giggling, "You should have locked the door…"

"We weren't doing anything wrong…" said Nanaka softly, looking at the members coming in.

"I see you are full of lies…" King said to Nanaka; of course, that declaration made all the members look at them, "You said you loved Ainya the most"

Nanaka made a bitter smile and tightened her teeth behind them. Shuka broke her hug on Nanaka's neck and looked at King with a frown.

"It was for the show," said Aina behind her walking towards the bench where Nanaka and Shuka were, "right?"

"Right…" confirmed Nanaka dryly. That statement hurt Aina, but it was necessary, she had just restored her relationship with Shuka, she couldn't have both.

"Yeah, sure…" mumbled King and walked towards her locker to start changing.

"What's with this tension?" asked Anchan walking in last, with Rikako by her side, "Guys! let's change… we have practice…"

The members started their vivid chitchat inside the changing room as always.

Shuka looked at Nanaka with a coy smile.

"Let's do our best…ok?" said Shuka softly.

"Yes…" said Nanaka softly too; Shuka moved forward and stole a kiss from Nanaka's lips, they smiled at each other, then Shuka grabbed her bag and stuff to move to a locker next to Aiai and Anchan, of course, next to CYaRon!.

"It seems that everything turned out just fine…" said Aina with a sad tone; Nanaka turned to her and smiled sadly.

Aina was in front of her, with her bag and Nanaka's on her shoulder. She was in the first row to watch that peck on Nanaka's lips.

"Well, we…managed to fix things…" said Nanaka; Aina smiled at her softly and tossed one of the bags off of her shoulders for Nanaka to start changing.

"I'm glad…" said Aina with a soft tone; Nanaka rose her eyebrows in sadness.

No, you are not…

You are hurt… this is hurting you!

"Don't fuck it up," said Arisa in her diligent tone looking at Nanaka, "remember what you have done so far, don't blow it"

"C' mon! Arisha, don't be a party pooper!" said Aina recovering her amused tone, "At least there are no casualties…right?"

Nanaka looked at Aina and shook her head softly.

The only casualty is you…

"Say what you want Ainya, I still think that she is gonna blow it…and then she is going to put the blame on me," said Arisa moving to a locker next to Rikako

Aina looked at Nanaka with a sad expression.

"Why would you put the blame on her?" asked Aina softly; Nanaka grabbed her bag and stood up.

"Because I can, I don't know…" said Nanaka hanging her bag on her shoulder and then looked at Aina, "She thinks that I put the blame on her about my failures in the project."

"This has nothing to do with the project…does it?" asked Aina softly.

Nanaka made a bitter expression and looked at her usual locker. Of course, Shuka wasn't there, she was now with CYaRon! members, Arisa was beside Rikako as usual, King and Aikyan were next to CYaRon! fooling around, and of course, the only ones left were them. If Nanaka had started to change next to Aina, Shuka was going to do a tantrum as she used to.

She had just won a battle about it, why defy luck? Was it worth it?
Not really…

Nanaka looked at Aina with a tired gaze.

"Everything does…" said Nanaka tiredly and moved to her usual locker. Even if that meant changing alone.

Aina didn't say a thing, she went to the other side of the room to change in her usual locker too. Maybe she understood.

Nanaka had made a decision, and that decision didn't include Aina.

Everything was for the project; if she was in good terms with Shuka, then Aqours was in its right function. If Aqours was fine, then the project was fine. If they broke up, Aqours would start to fall apart, the members would have an opinion about it, could take sides on the matter and make everything harder.

Personal problems could compromise the project. If the members weren't in good terms with each other, then how could they perform as a group? As for Arisa, yes, Nanaka had been blaming Arisa's diligence to be a constant threat to Kanan, and because Nanaka wasn't up to the task, she was removed as the "Third Years" leader, or to act as AZALEA's leader, because her personality wasn't what they had expected, and she wasn't up for the task.

Arisa had been putting a lot of effort into helping build the NanaAinya for Nanaka to gain popularity. And there she was, ruining that because she was desperate to save her relationship with Shuka. An image that not only could destroy Arisa's efforts, but the NanaAinya, and why not, Nanaka as "an idol".

Idols can't be in a relationship.

But she wasn't an idol, she was a Seiyuu.

And she was in love.

So, it was worth the effort to fight for it, even though she wasn't sure if she would be strong enough to give another fight.

.

.

The good thing for Nanaka was that she didn't have to think so much about it. At least for the next week.

The day finally came, July 30th; the event in Numazu, and Nanaka was determined to stick to her word and prove to Shuka, Production, the members and the fans, that she had a special spot for Shuka. Even if that might cost her whatever she had built with Aina.

Despite the fact that the previous week they had had rehearsals almost every day in order to master the dances and songs, she was in high spirits. And because of their busy schedules, Aqours hadn't been able to celebrate Aina's birthday, and Nanaka and Shuka couldn't have a proper date.

It was all about rehearsals and work, but that didn't bother the NanaShuka; they were determined on working as the couple they were and started to be closer while practicing. Even if that was a little bit bothersome for the members. More exactly, for Aina.

Nanaka and Shuka were really touchy with each other, holding hands, hugging, and in the changing room, kissing, even using the showers, and not just for that. It pissed Aina off, but she was a really good actress and bared it with a big smile on her face. Nanaka looked happy, and that was all that mattered. Also, the members started to see these behaviors as normal and cute, so they also stopped teasing them.

On the contrary, they tried to help them.

"I think you should share the room with Shukashuu," said Aiai with a wide smile towards Nanaka; she blinked a few times.

"Eh?… are you—"

"Of course, right Shukashuu?" asked Aiai looking at Shuka with a smug smile.

"Eh?…are you sure Furirin?….I mean…" tried Shuka, looking at Nanaka with a wide smile, "Of course, I would love it, but didn't Production assign the rooms…?"

"Yeah, but these people are clueless about our feelings…" said Aiai, and tossed Nanaka some room keys.

"Furirin are you sure?…" asked King by her side, "Remember that tomorrow we have the event; we need our sleep, and these two love bird will be nosy…"

Nanaka opened her eyes wide and locked gazes with Shuka; she just smiled coyly at her.

"I think you are giving them too much credit," said Aikyan giggling.

"What? That's not true…" defended King, "They are noisy in the changing room!"

"Because it's the changing room…" said Aiai laughing, "The tiles echo and such…"

Nanaka could feel her ears becoming bright red, it wasn't comfortable to know that the members were hearing them and now commenting about them.

"We will be safe here…" continued Aikyan looking around "This is the best hotel in Numazu, the walls are thick"

"Can we drop the topic and move?" interrupted Arisa; of course, she and her diligence, but all the members agreed, the topic was a little too much for them, besides that, Arisa seemed a little bit pissed.

The girls moved out of the hotel reception and made a circle in a corner of the lobby.

They had traveled from Tokyo to Numazu for the event, but production had decided that going just for the day to perform and then go back was a little bit cold. This project presented 9 sweet girls from Numazu/Uchiura, This was Aqours' home town, and the city was making great efforts to make the city "Sunshine". So, it would look good for the project if the girls were more active in the town activities, and they should at least stay for the night.

Also, it was Summer, and that only meant one thing; Summer Festival.

The idea was for the girls to enjoy a little bit of Natsu Matsuri before hitting the stage on the next day and make a nice VTR about it. The Fans just loved seeing them doing daily things and not only dancing and making fools of themselves.

Production managed a reservation in the River Side Numazu Hotel, the only 4-star hotel in town with a privileged view of Mt. Fuji and the river. It was a centric hotel that was about 7 minutes walking through the train station, and it was very near the festival stalls, the river to take nice shots for the VTR, and the place where the show would be for the event the next day. It was perfect.

Of course, the girls didn't travel alone, the Chief of Staff and his assistants were there too, besides more people from the staff, and the dance teachers. So the Chief gave Anchan some instructions, set the rooms, and later he started coordinating with his staff, leaving Anchan the task to coordinate her own people.

"Ok, so, let's review this…" said Anchan looking at the papers, "The Chief seems a little bit busy, so he gave me the task to set us up…"

"Go leader!" said Aiai enthusiastically.

"As expected of 'Chika-chan'!" said Shuka using her You voice, Anchan giggled.

"I see that you started to mess up with the rooms Furi," said Anchan looking at Aiai.

"Eh? Yeah, sorry, I thought it was better… don't you think?" asked Aiai looking at everybody.

"I think it's not fair…" said Arisa with her annoyance, "Why can't we choose our roommates?"

Nanaka crossed a glance with Arisa and curved the tips of her lips; of course, Arisa wanted to share the room with Rikako, and it seemed that she wasn't her roomie once again.

"Because Production set them, let's respect that!" said Anchan.

"Eh?… I want to stay with Osuwa…" said Shuka with a cute tone and grabbed Nanaka's hand; Nanaka smiled softly.

"Aiai gave me the room key already…" said Nanaka in her low tone, showing the room key with her other hand.

"You can't do that…" said Anchan to Aiai; she shrugged.

"They are a couple…we should respect that…" said Aiai softly.

"I think it doesn't matter…we are a group," said Aikyan in a nonchalant tone, "We should be able to share the room with whichever roomie…"

"It's not that simple…" said Aiai looking at Aikyan, then moved her sight towards Anchan, "Leader, why don't cha' read who Suwawa is sharing the room with…"

Everybody shared looks and then locked gazes on Anchan.

She blinked a few times and then started looking for Nanaka's name in the paper.

"Eh…ok…let's see…Suwa-san….Suwa-san….oh." she finished dryly.

"What?" asked King.

"Who?!" asked Aikyan eagerly.

Nanaka tightened her grip on her entwined hand; Shuka looked at her with a sad face, of course, the only one who could be sharing the room with Nanaka and make the members troubled was…

"Suzuki Aina," said Anchan, rising her sight to lock it on Nanaka and Shuka.

"I refuse!" snapped Shuka with a bit of anger, Nanaka tightened her grip in her hand, then looked at Aina, she was looking at her shoes in shame.

"Jesus…" sighed Arisa, "This is stupid…"

"Ok, I see your point…" said Anchan towards Aiai.

"But we are nine, we can't be in pairs…" said Rikako.

"There are no rooms for three here…" said Anchan.

"What's the setting?" asked King.

Anchan looked down to her paper once again.

"Well, it's… Inami with Aida, Saito with Furihata, Takatsuki with Kobayashi, Suwa with Suzuki, and Komiya alone…"

Nanaka made a bitter smile; why would production set Arisa alone?

"You ok Arisha?" asked Aina to her side.

"I'm fine…this isn't a big deal…" said Arisa with a tired tone.

"I'm sorry you got to be alone…" said Rikako towards Arisa with a sad tone, Arisa smiled bitterly.

"It's not a big deal. Besides, it's just a night… and we are not using the rooms more than to sleep…" said Arisa in her diligent tone.

"Yeah, tell that to the fuck bids…" said King amused.

"Hey!" snapped Shuka annoyed, but Nanaka tightened the grip on their held hands once again, like if Shuka was a puppy on a leash.

"We don't need a bed to do it," said Nanaka in her dry tone making everybody blush.

"So bold…" said Aikyan grabbing her cheeks.

"We know!" snapped King amused.

"We have heard!" snapped Aiai giggling.

"Ok ok! enough…" said Anchan trying to maintain order in the circle, "So, I get it…then… you two are ok?" asked Anchan towards Nanaka and Shuka.

Nanaka nodded and Shuka said an energetic "Of course!"

"Furirin, what about you?" asked Anchan.

"Eh?… Well I can share with Ainya right?" said Aiai shrugging.

"Of course!" said Aina with a smile.

"Then, we are ok with that…" said Anchan looking at the paper in hand.

"Why would Production set those parings?…" asked Rikako softly.

"Popular shippings?…" said Arisa in a tired tone, "'ChikaRiko', 'KanaMari', 'YoshiMaru'? I guess Shukashuu was set with Aiai because of CYaRon!… And well…We are nine and, one had to be alone… 'Dia-chan' is not a shippable character I guess…"

King and Aikyan laughed.

"'Dia-san' is not a fuckable character…" said King amused, giggling with Aikyan, Aiai made a surprised look, while Arisa blinked outraged.

"That's not true…" said Rikako softly.

"I think we are losing the main point," said Anchan embarrassed, trying to maintain control on the girls, who started to talk at the same time, mocking Arisa and Dia about it.

Nanaka blinked a few times with a goofy smile, sometimes Arisa was good bulling material, and somehow Nanaka felt that Arisa simply deserved some teasing from time to time.

"Ok! Well…cut it out…" said Aiai, then continued with a strong tone, "Please, leave 'Onee-chan' alone…let's focus on the schedule…"

"Oh yeah, alone she is…" said Aikyan softly and giggling.

"Leader?" said Aiai looking for Anchan, giving her the chance to speak.

"Thank you… Geez— now I feel what the Chief feels around us…" murmured Anchan, "Ok, so, we aren't here for vacation; we need to go to our rooms…" said Anchan and started giving the room keys to the members following the setup that production had set for them, except for Nanaka and Shuka.

"Once you settle don't waste any time, we need to be downstairs and start preparing ourselves for the VTR thing…" finished Anchan.

"Eh? Immediately?" asked Aikyan surprised.

"Yes, why?" asked Anchan, "That's what it says…" finished Anchan pointing at the sheet.

"I thought we could take it easy…" complained Aikyan grabbing her bag.

"We are not here to play around…" said Arisa starting moving to the elevators, her keys in hand, "We are here to work!"

"So serious..." said King softly also grabbing her bag and walking behind her, Aikyan followed.

"We will have plenty of time to play..." said Anchan with a faint smile, "They will take us to see the stalls!"

"I think they can't hear ya'" said Shuka with an apologetic smile.

"Good job leader!" said Aiai in a mocking tone.

"Don't mind Arisa-san, she was somehow pissed off" said Rikako, then grabbed her bag and looked at Anchan, "Shall we go?"

"Sure 'Riko-chan'!" said Anchan in Chika's voice, also taking her bag too and started moving.

The 4 remaining members glanced at each other quickly and determined that they needed to move too.

The 6 of them shared the elevator.

"Geez~ I don't know how the Chief does it..." complained Anchan pressing the button.

"Years of practice..." said Aiai nonchalantly.

"And you didn't even give us many instructions," said Shuka with an amused tone.

"OH! Right! I didn't tell them at what time they needed to be downstairs in the conference room!" snapped Anchan.

"Good job leader!" said Aiai again with a mocking tone, Shuka laughed; Nanaka and Aina shared some sad looks.

Of course, CYaRon! members started chatting vividly and in a very carefree manner inside the elevator, while Rikako seemed immersed in her own world, while Nanaka and Aina talked in glances.

Aina knew that Nanaka was struggling with her relationship and was willing to do whatever it took for the sake of their wellbeing as a couple. And it seemed that the members could feel that too and tried to help her on it. As for Aina, she needed to step aside. Everybody knew that she was a threat to Shuka. And balance was key.

But Nanaka couldn't help but feel sad about it. She really cared about Aina, maybe she loved her too, but she was committed already. And she had made a choice, she still wanted to give the last fight with Shuka, even if that meant seeing Aina needed to receive harsh words from the members.

The elevator rang, letting them know they were on their floor. At a normal and very noisy peace, they got out and walked to their respective rooms. Anchan and Rikako went to the end of the hall, and awkwardly enough, Nanaka's and Shuka's room was beside Aiai's and Aina's.

"Well, this is awkward…" said Aiai taking her key out and giggling, "Try to don't be noisy?"

"C' mon! We aren't like that all the time…" complained Shuka, but grabbed Nanaka's hand nervously; Aiai giggled more, like saying "Yeah right".

Nanaka looked at Aina with a sad glance; Aina's answer was a sweet smile.

Nanaka took out her key and opened the door. Everybody disappeared in their respective rooms.

Shuka ran into the room with her big smile; left her bag in one of the beds and glued herself to the window; the room had a beautiful sight to Mt. Fuji.

Nanaka walked in at her normal slow pace, hearing the door close and leaving her bag on the other bed. She took the time to study the room, it was a normal western type room. Two beds, one nightstand between them, a desk for the TV with a chair and a mirror. Also a private bathroom.

"This is beautiful!" said Shuka in a happy tone still looking at Mt. Fuji, "sure it is Numazu…"

"Hum…" was the only thing Nanaka could say removing her jacket.

Shuka looked back at her with a sad glance.

"You are feeling it for Ainya, aren't ya'?" asked Shuka with a sad tone; Nanaka stopped with the jacket in her hands and locked gazes with her.

She blinked a few times with her "Suwa face".

Here we go again…

Nanaka sighed and dropped her jacket on the bed with a tired movement.

"What's your problem with her now?…" asked Nanaka tiredly, "We got the room to ourselves now…Thanks to Aiai we can enjoy us…"

"But you were supposed to share the room with her…" said Shuka dryly.

Like if it was my choice… Production set it!

"But I'm not…" said Nanaka walking towards her with a determined pace, "Couple's privileges"

"But—"

"Stop," said Nanaka reaching Shuka's cheeks and sticking her body to hers. Shuka looked up at Nanaka with cute eyes and a shy smile, she hugged Nanaka by her waist.

"I love you Nana-chan…" murmured Shuka; understanding exactly what was happening...

Nanaka smiled sweetly at her and cut the distance between their lips.

At first, it was a sweet kiss that slowly grew into a passionate one. Nanaka put her tongue inside Shuka's mouth to playfully greet Shuka's. Shuka grabbed Nanaka's dress with a strong grip to deepen the kiss.

Nanaka didn't want to lose and moved her right hand towards Shuka's head, entwining her fingers in her silky hair. Their tongues played with each other in a blissful dance; while hungrily devouring each other's lips.

What started like something soft and sweet was becoming something wet, and a little bit sloppy. Of course, having sex with Shuka right at that moment wasn't in Nanaka's plans, but it seemed that both of them were giving into passion.

Shuka grabbed Nanaka's dress more tightly and started moving both bodies towards the closest bed without breaking their intense kissing session until Nanaka reached the bed, and Shuka pushed her softly on top of it, breaking the kiss.

Without saying a thing, and with some soft pants, Nanaka got comfortable in the bed taking her shoes off in a very skill full way, while Shuka started crawling on top of her until she straddled her.

Both knew how that was going to end, so it wasn't of any use telling Shuka to stop. They both locked gazes, lusty and passionate gazes.

They took a few moments to enjoy the sight of each other; it was right that Nanaka had stopped Shuka's incoming rant of jealousy and remind her that she only had eyes for her, and kissed her to prove it, but now Shuka was on top and in charge to retort those feelings.

If being on top and in charge made Shuka happy, then so be it. She loved Shuka's touch and tongue over her…

Shuka bent down to lock lips with Nanaka's, to lose herself in pleasure once again; using her right hand to fondle Nanaka's body she reached the hem of her dress and softly started to lift it.

Nanaka could feel her thighs being exposed and a cold breeze on her panties.

"Uhm… I love… your dresses…they are so…practical…" said Shuka between kisses and bites on Nanaka's lips; she gasped and a mere intent of a moan escape from Nanaka's mouth.

Yes, because Nanaka was so girly and her normal outfits were doll-like dresses and skirts, it was really easy for Shuka to make love to her in public and forbidden places. It made the task easier than for Nanaka, she always needed to take Shuka's pants off, and that usually took a lot of extra effort if they were in the mood for a quickie.

And it seemed that Shuka was in the mood for one.

Shuka deepened the kiss while her curious finger tried its way inside Nanaka's panties from the side. Shuka found some clear wetness in her expedition.

"Mmm Nana-chan…" said Shuka between kisses, "so lewd…"

Nanaka moaned.

"Yes…I want you to moan…" said Shuka huskily into her ear while incrementing the pace of her curious finger, "I want you to moan loud and clear…"

Lo—loud?!

She wants Aina to hear...

Nanaka pushed her head to the back and did exactly the contrary; she bit her lips.

"Eh…Nana—" tried Shuka, but she was interrupted by knocks on the door.

Nanaka opened her eyes wide and brought her hands towards her mouth. Shuka stopped her movements and looked at her with a panicked expression.

"Eh…What is…—" tried Shuka, but the knocking was there again.

"Housekeeping?…" asked Nanaka behind her hands.

"Eh?… I don't think so…" said Shuka looking towards the door.

Nanaka blinked a few times; whoever was calling, she had one of Shuka's fingers wandering in her most private place.

"Shu—Shuka…" called Nanaka; Shuka looked at her with a smile, "I…I need you…to get out of me…"

"Oh…right…" said Shuka with a smile and took her finger out of Nanaka's groin and moved to a side.

Nanaka sat on the bed awkwardly fixing her panties.

The knock was there for the third time.

"Be right there!" said Nanaka with a strong voice; she thought it would sound weird shouting "Coming" or something alike.

She stood up, fixed her dress and walked towards the door.

Whoever it is…geez!… is going to pay!

Where are the couples privileges?!

Nanaka opened the door with her "Suwa face", trying to look annoyed. But to her surprise, it was the Creepy assistant; she had a bag cart and a folder in her hands. The cart had some big boxes and paper bags.

"Eh?… Suwa-san?….what are you doing in this room?…." asked the Creepy assistant looking in her folder.

"Eh?… Visiting?" managed Nanaka to say trying to sound convincing.

"Visiting?…ok…" said the Creepy assistant not buying it, "I'm here to deliver the outfits you will use for the VTR…"

"Sure…" said Nanaka softly.

Nobody moved. Nanaka just blinked waiting for something to happen.

"But… ok…are Saito-san and Furihata-san in the room?" asked the Creepy assistant, then turned around to grab some of the boxes and bags, "These are for them…"

"Right…" said Nanaka and grabbed the bags and hung them on her shoulders, then received the boxes.

Both shared some glances.

"Oh…are you going to deliver them…is that ok…?" asked the Creepy assistant in her creepy way.

"It's ok...the girls are busy…" said Nanaka in her dry tone, then stepped back, "Thanks so much…" and closed the door. If the Creepy Assistant knew her enough already, she would think that Nanaka was weird and blunt as usual. But it would be a problem if Aiai opened the door in the next room...

I hope Aina opens the door…

Nanaka moved towards her bed and left the boxes, then the bags. She looked at Shuka, she was laying on the other bed licking her finger. She looked at Nanaka with a sexy face.

Nanaka blinked a few times.

"So, I was there receiving these...and lying, while you were licking off your finger...?" asked Nanaka with her dry tone.

Shuka stopped to share a wide smile with Nanaka.

"It's not my fault that you were soaked and tasted so good..." said Shuka in a husky tone while standing up, "I feel hungry..."

Nanaka's cheeks became wild red; of course, Shuka's sex box had been opened, and now she was hungry to taste her...

But everything was interrupted by new knocks on the door.

Shuka stopped her steps abruptly.

"Again?" asked Shuka angry; Nanaka turned around and walked towards the door. Maybe the Creepy assistant had forgotten something.

To Nanaka's surprise, it was Aiai. She had a box in her hands and a bag hanging on her shoulder.

"I hope I'm not interrupting anything?..." asked Aiai shyly.

"Not really..." said Nanaka tiredly.

"Yes you were!" shouted Shuka from the back; Nanaka deadpanned and Aiai giggled.

"Please Suwawa, I know more than you think..." said Aiai in a mature tone.

"Ok, so, how may I help you? You heard, you interrupted us..." said Nanaka in her dry tone.

"I believe these are yours..." said Aiai and moved inside the room. Nanaka closed the door behind.

"Did you open the door to the Assistant?" asked Nanaka walking towards the bed again

"Yes, why?" asked Aiai nonchalantly; she looked around the room with a frown in her face, "What have you been doing? Aren't you going to unpack?"

Aiai left the box and the bag on Shuka's bed.

"So, what's inside?" asked Shuka trying to shift the conversation.

"I see you guys have been busy..." said Aiai and opened the box she just had left, "The Yukatas" she concluded and looked at Nanaka, "I believe this is yours... It's green, 'Ruby-chan' doesn't use green..."

"Oh, right..." said Nanaka and opened one of the boxes. Inside, there was a pink Yukata, of course, for Ruby.

"Oh! Where's mine?!" said Shuka moving towards Nanaka and grabbing the other box.

"So, what's inside the bags...?" asked Nanaka taking one and looking inside with curiosity.

"Props, and accessories..." said Aiai closing her box, "So, I guess you have been too busy to see the Aqours Line Chat" Aiai continued and hung her bag and grabbed the box, "Anchan wrote that we'll meet in twenty in the conference room, already in our 'Yukata form'"

"Eh?!" snapped Shuka.

"Our 'Yukata form'... do we change with this?" said Nanaka confused.

"And that was like ten minutes ago...so you better hurry..." said Aiai moving to the door but stopped when reaching the door, "You know, these walls aren't very thick..."

"Eh? What do you mean? That's a joke right Furi?" asked Shuka with her light blue Yukata in her hands, admiring it and not paying too much attention to Aiai.

"I wish it was..." said Aiai opening the door, she looked at Nanaka with a serious gaze, "I'm warning you" and then closed the door.

Nanaka blinked a few times, then returned her gaze to Shuka; she had left her Yukata on top of the bed and started taking off her shoes.

Nanaka walked at her pace towards her bed too and grabbed her jacket to take out her phone. Indeed Anchan had set the instructions in the Line chat, the Creepy assistant would deliver the outfits for every member to get dressed, and later they needed to go down to the conference room for a hair and makeup session.

Of course, they were so busy loving each other that none heard their phones with these instructions, they would have known that the outfits would be delivered to the rooms, interrupting them and what was worse, that the outfits were labeled for each member, so it was obvious that neither Nanaka or Aiai should open the door, because of the room change thing they had done.

Nanaka sighed and dropped her phone, what was done was done and she needed to change.

She looked to her side and saw an almost naked Shuka. Of course, she had undressed and was left only in her cute underwear; she looked a bit troubled while studying the Yukata in her hands, it was clear that she didn't know how to put it on.

Nanaka felt weak, horny and hungry.

Without saying a thing she hugged Shuka by the waist from behind, sticking her body to Shuka, making the younger one jump in surprise.

"He-hey…" said Shuka softly, "We…we need to—mmmm…" she needed to stop talking, Nanaka started giving her soft kisses on her neck, and slowly started to go down to reach Shuka's shoulders.

"You…should be quicker…" said Nanaka in a husky voice and gave Shuka a long and deep kiss on her shoulder; Shuka's knees shook heavily unbalancing Shuka, she grunted in pleasure bending her torso forward and sticking her butt out to Nanaka's body. It was all a mere reflex, but for sure Nanaka knew them all.

Shuka's weak point was her shoulders.

Nanaka tightened her grip on her hug and kissed Shuka's shoulder once again with more passion.

Shuka moaned loud in pleasure. In 5 seconds Nanaka had Shuka already under her spell and weak for her to do what she pleased.

She didn't want to lose time, they needed to change, but she knew her kid better to tell that Shuka was horny and needy, and with the Creepy assistant and Aiai's interference, Shuka was left undone. And Nanaka was a very dedicated girlfriend.

Also, a prodigy with her fingers.

She kept kissing Shuka's shoulder with eagerness, making Shuka shiver under her tight hug; Nanaka slightly inserted her right knee between Shuka's legs for her to open them. While Shuka arched her back and moaned in pleasure, Nanaka's hands started to work on her.

Her right hand fondled her tight abs until reaching her panties, she wasn't in the mood to tease Shuka any more, so she wordlessly slid her hand inside her panties greeting Shuka's wet core, while with her left hand she groped Shuka's left breast under her bra.

"Ahh— Ahh— Nana…Nanaka…!" tried Shuka loudly, trying to control her own emotions, but Nanaka was far gone in her duty; her fingers started to work in her with prodigious speed.

"Shh, the walls aren't that thick…" murmured Nanaka in her husky tone into Shuka's ear, while her right fingers started to work fast on Shuka's clit.

But that backfired terribly. Nanaka's husky tone was so damn sexy for Shuka that she started to moan even louder, making the wet sounds part of her moaning.

Nanaka's left hand started to squeeze Shuka's left nipple at the same time that Shuka started to move her hips in pace. Nanaka understood that cue and wordlessly inserted two fingers inside her.

Shuka arched her back and rested her head on the crook of Nanaka's neck and moaned loudly and out of control. Nanaka tried to maintain them in that standing position, but Shuka was moving like a fish out of water. But that didn't make her long finger stop from teasing Shuka's insides.

It was incredible, after almost a year of the relationship, Shuka had never been that out of control. Out of herself and so devoted to passion.

Shuka started to moan and grunt loudly, her tongue sticking out of her mouth, panting heavily and moving her hips in fast speed; Nanaka's fingers trying to match her speed, curling and moving inside her.

"Ahh—Ahh...Suwa—wa…Waaa—I'm….!" and Shuka came loud and clear beside Nanaka's ear. Instantly, Nanaka withdrew her left hand out of Shuka's left breast and hugged her tightly. Shuka was almost like a rag doll.

Jesus…that…was...intense…

So lewd too…

My…

The room was left in silence except for Shuka's elaborate pants. Nanaka blinked a few times trying to gather her strength to support both of them.

She turned her head to look at Shuka; her eyes were closed, her mouth slightly open with her tongue sticking out, panting heavily. Nanaka smirked. She gave Shuka a soft kiss on her forehead.

Shuka smiled faintly, her eyes still closed. She indeed looked satisfied.

Nanaka moved her right hand inside Shuka once again, making the young girl grunt into pleasure again.

"You are soaked…" said Nanaka in her low husky tone, "naughty girl…"

Shuka didn't say a thing; Nanaka withdrew her hand from Shuka's panties with a wet plop, her fingers covered in Shuka's love juices.

"You said you were hungry…" said Nanaka softly and brought her right hand closer to Shuka's mouth.

She understood immediately what to do, and slowly cleaned off her own cum from Nanaka's fingers.

It was so sexy that Nanaka thought that she could come just because of seeing that, but she couldn't. They were late to go downstairs.

"Hurry, we need to be in our 'Yukata form'…" said Nanaka softly; Shuka stopped licking Nanaka's fingers and with difficulty said.

"I…I don't… don't know how to…put that on…"

Nanaka smiled.

"I know, kind of figure that out before making love to you…" said Nanaka sweetly, and then kissed Shuka's forehead once again.

"Re-really?" asked Shuka softly.

"Uhm..." hummed Nanaka, she brought her right hand and finished licking her fingers sexily for Shuka.

"Oh..." said Shuka faintly and tightened her thighs.

"But, as it happens, one of my hobbies is to put on Yukatas and Hakamas..." said Nanaka with confidence and a cocky smile, "I'll help you..."

Shuka smiled wide, and it was clear in her eyes that she felt love. She was in love with Nanaka. And Nanaka loved her back, so they kissed.

Nanaka hugged her tightly and kissed her deeply.

Nanaka helped out Shuka on putting on her light blue Yukata with yellow fireflies pattern with a yellow Obi, Shuka looked so cute that Nanaka needed to hold herself to not start fucking her again.

Nanaka didn't have any problems on putting on her green Yukata with pink and yellow flower pattern, the Obi was also pink, so the combinations were very nice and gave her a mature vibe. Shuka was dazed by her; she just sat on the bed and patiently waited, dazed by Nanaka dressing in the Yukata. She had a grace and elegance that of course, couldn't be shown while acting as Kanan or in the project.

"Are you going to wear a ponytail?" asked Shuka still admiring her.

"Eh? A ponytail?" asked Nanaka without looking at Shuka, she was finishing some touches on her Obi.

"Yes, because of 'Kanan-chan'?"

"No, ponytails are not for Yukatas...I think the color of the Yukata is enough to give the 'Kanan' vibe" said Nanaka in her serious tone, then turned around to lock gazes with Shuka, "So... how does it look?" asked Nanaka extending her arms and showing her 'Yukata form' to Shuka.

Shuka opened her mouth in awe.

"I... I would make love to you... right now..." said Shuka softly, standing up from the bed.

"Well, unfortunately, we can't..." said Nanaka and turned again, grabbed her phone and placed it in her paper bag, "We should be going..."

"Right..." said Shuka and did the same with her bag.

Nanaka started to move out of the room when Shuka stopped her...

"Ne, Nana-chan," called Shuka; Nanaka stopped and looked at her with doubt on her face, "Tonight I'm going to make you moan louder..."

Nanaka gave her a cocky smile.

"I'm counting on it"

And they left the room.

Of course, they were late and last to join the people in the conference room.

On top of the fact they gained a scolding from the Chief, they also received disapproving looks from Aina and Aiai. Shuka, because she was a reckless kid and didn't mind all, went straight to her makeup and hair arrangements.

All Aqours members were in their 'Yukata form' as Anchan said they should. The outfits followed each the member's colors, and the props and accessories were the like. Production managed to get some things, but if the members wanted to add something more 'personal' to it, it was approved.

For example, Rikako bought a Sakura hair clip regarding Riko, even if her Yukata was Sakura pink with Sakura pattern. Or Arisa and Aiai, who went into all the trouble of asking someone to make some special earrings for them, which was the surprise they had been talking about the other day at the station. They were "Imouto" and "Ane" earrings, sisters matching earring, very cute, and of course, a nice detail for Ruby and Dia.

Nanaka determined that the color of the Yukata was enough for Kanan and didn't add anything special to her outfit. Her hairstyle was very Japanese also, a kind of bun with a braid, and the makeup was simple but on point.

They gathered them in the center of the room in the official line up for instructions. Of course, the Chief was there, paper in hand to start bossing around.

"Ok, since we will be shooting the VTR and you are nine, we will divide you into two groups," said the Chief, of course, that made the girls complain and make sour sounds about it.

Shuka looked at Nanaka with sadness, and Nanaka returned that same gaze. How was she supposed to prove Shuka, the members, the Staffs, and the fans that she cared about Shuka more than Aina if they kept dividing them?!

"Aw c' mon! Don't complain! We can't follow the nine of you around the whole Matsuri, we are short of personnel, the streets and stalls are in narrow spaces, we need to concentrate in a few activities and all of you are hard to control in an open space!" complained the Chief, the girls made sounds of disappointment.

"Besides, that's an order! It is what it is! Period" finished the Chief in his harsh tone. The girls shut up abruptly and waited for the next instructions.

Shuka and Nanaka locked some gazes of excitement; maybe the odds weren't that bad and the might end up in the same team and could enjoy the festival together.

"So, the teams will be... Team number one, 'First years' with 'Kanan-chan' and 'Mari-chan'; Furihata-san, Takatsuki-san, Kobayashi-san, Suwa-san and Suzuki-san" finished the Chief.

Of course, "First years" made a loud sound of joy and happiness. Aina looked at Nanaka with a sad face locking gazes with her, while Shuka grabbed her hand; Nanaka turned around to face her.

"No, I don't want it…" said Shuka softly with pleading eyes, "Why with her…?" she asked almost in a whisper, Nanaka rose her eyebrows in sadness, she could clearly see and feel the desperation in Shuka.

This…this is not my choice….

I don't want this…

"Chief! Why?!" asked Shuka loudly interrupting "First years" in their celebration. The Chief rose her sight from his papers, the room became awkwardly quiet.

"Shu…Shuka…" called Nanaka surprised, but Shuka didn't move.

"Something the matter Saito-san?" asked the Chief in an annoyed tone.

"Shuka stop it…" said Anchan beside her in almost a whisper.

Shuka bounced awkwardly in her spot tightening her grip on Nanaka's hand; yes, she was angry, upset and wanted to defy the Chief's orders, but she just couldn't.

How could she explain to the Chief that she was in love with Nanaka, that Aina was a threat for them, that she was so damn jealous because she couldn't share anything with Nanaka and they insisted on putting Aina in the equation.

"So, the next group is 'Second year' with 'Onee-chan'?" asked Aiai with Ruby's voice cutting the tension and saving Shuka's ass.

"Yes yes," said the Chief checking his papers, "Inami-san, Aida-san, Saito-san, and Komiya-san…"

This time the celebration wasn't effusive.

Rikako smiled and nodded with Anchan, then both shared some glances towards Shuka, who didn't look at them, and Arisa smiled wide at them.

Maybe Arisa was the happiest of them because she was sharing something with Rikako. But Shuka was in despair.

"Ok, with that said, we will start preparing the things for team number one… I suggest you get ready too…" said the Chief making signs for his staff to start moving, "We will start with team number one in thirty minutes, then we will come back to pick up team number two… we have to be quick because we need to shoot with daylight, don't be late…" he finished and looked at Nanaka and Shuka.

The girls said a soft "yes" and started moving around the conference room. Mostly because it was "Selfie time". The girls started to take out their phones and move around making the conference room a noisy place again. Nanaka walked with Shuka holding hands towards their stuff in awkward silence.

"I feel like a grade school student..." said Shuka by Nanaka's side.

"Why is that?" asked Nanaka nonchalantly, taking her phone out of her paper bag.

"Look at me...I look like one, don't you think?" asked Shuka softly and almost like a whine.

Nanaka looked at her with a sweet gaze and smiled at her.

"I think you are cute..." said Nanaka with a smile; Shuka smiled wide at her.

"You just love me too much..."

"That's also true..." said Nanaka smiling.

"I'm sorry... I almost made a scene..." said Shuka softly, looking at her feet in shame.

"Are you ok?..." asked Nanaka softly, "I know it must be hard..."

Shuka looked at Nanaka with a concerned face.

"I know it is, Shuka... I... I didn't want any of this, I hope you understand that..." Nanaka tried to explain; of course, nothing that happened was her decision, not the room nor the teams, so Shuka shouldn't be mad at her about it. But, with her kid, she never knew...

"I...I get it..." said Shuka with a little bit of trouble.

Then Shuka moved fast to her paper bag and searched for something inside. With a wide smile, she took it out and then turned towards Nanaka.

"Here, I want you to use this..." said Shuka and showed her a bracelet.

It was a small bracelet made of white and transparent little spheres. Nothing fancy, very simple but very cute.

"Eh? What is this?... Why?" asked Nanaka surprised.

Shuka smiled wide and softly took Nanaka's left hand.

"May I?" asked Shuka in an Ikemen tone.

"Su—sure..." said Nanaka overwhelmed.

Shuka placed the bracelet around Nanaka's left wrist with gentleness and then kissed Nanaka's hand.

Nanaka's heart skipped like 5 beats, her cheeks became bright red.

"Shu—Shuka..." said Nanaka shyly; Shuka giggled.

"I brought that for 'You-chan', but as we will be apart, again, I want you to have it... this way you and I are together..." said Shuka with a shy smile, "Is that ok?"

Nanaka rose her left wrist to look at the bracelet with more attention. She smiled wide.

"It's perfect... Thanks, Sweetie ..." said Nanaka softly.

"Don't mention it...I... I really wanted to go to the matsuri with you..." said Shuka softly.

"Hey, don't be sad...you will have a blast with Anchan and Rikako..." said Nanaka with a shy smile, " I... regret not bringing anything... to give you in return..." finished Nanaka troubled.

"Eh? Don't ya' worry...Nana-chan did my nails remember?" said Shuka showing Nanaka.

Nanaka smiled sweetly at her; yes, Nanaka did Shuka her nails with a lot of patience and love, because Shuka was impatient and an energetic kid, so she would to move a lot. The only way Nanaka could get Shuka to stay still was to bring some serious conversation to the table, such as dance practice, or Shuka's hobbies…

"Ok, let's…let's have fun then…ok?" said Nanaka with a smile; Shuka nodded energetically and they stood like half a minute lost in each other's gaze.

Shuka smiled wide at her; both knew that they wanted to kiss to seal the deal but just couldn't, they held hands and squeezed them.

"I miss you already…" said Shuka softly and then smiled wide once again.

"I got you…" said Nanaka softly leaving Shuka's hands and showing her the bracelet.

They shared a wide smile.

Then it was like a rollercoaster of things; Nanaka took some selfies, selfies with Shuka, with AZALEA members, (and this was weird, but Arisa was weirdly in high spirits), group pictures with everyone messing around and such. They were happy indeed.

Aina received a lot of compliments about her hair, it was a very fancy braid that matched very well with Mari. Aina was in great spirits also, well, she always was. She understood that production wanted to milk out the "KanaMari" and the "NanaAinya", she didn't choose any of what production set, so of course, she didn't feel any guilt about anything.

She felt the imperious desire to talk to Shuka anyways and clear things out. Nanaka just couldn't hear their conversation, but saw them talking; at first in a serious mode, then both broke into laughter until finally Aina taking a Selfie with Shuka.

It warmed Nanaka's heart.

Their Yukatas were ready, as their hair and makeup.

It was time for team 1 to go out.

They reviewed the script for the VTR with the nine members, and then, team 1 went to the riverside to start the shooting.

Despite the terrible heat that summer, it was fun.

They went fooling around in the streets with a handy cam, cheering and moving around, it was like going back to their days of youth. They joked about "KanaMari" being the "responsible adults" taking care of "First years", but in reality, the only responsible one was Nanaka, and she lacked so much of energy and authority that it didn't matter, "First years" had their way as they pleased, with Aina close behind.

They had a great time at the stalls, they shot in several ones, but the one that left the best impression for team number 1 was "Superball Fishing", where Aiai and Aikyan won 4 balls, Aina 2, Nanaka just 1, and King none, she just broke her wafer.

Then the team split into two; Aiai, Aina, and Aikyan went for some shaved ice, the standard festival food, while Nanaka and King went for some candy apple. It was a challenge for King since it was her first time eating one.

Even if phones weren't allowed, Aiai took her analog camera with her and took some nice pictures. She said she wanted to start studying professional photography and wanted to practice a bit. King took her camera to take pictures as well, she took a nice one of Nanaka being fed by Aina her shaved ice, it was a cute picture that Aiai promised to send in private to Nanaka and Aina for the sake of the balance.

They were accompanied all the time by staff members, even bodyguards!

They felt like movie stars. But of course, their time at the festival was very limited and they needed to go back to the hotel for team number 2 to start shooting.

As they made their way back, they had a few minutes to say "hi" to the other members, share some thoughts and then say "goodbye" once again.

Nanaka couldn't say anything to Shuka because she was too excited, repeating that she wanted to go right away to the stalls and eat buttered potatoes. It was like the kid she was; she had totally forgotten the "sadness" of not being with Nanaka.

But, it was better that way.

Team number 1 needed to wait for the next activity, which was watching the fireworks. For that of course, they needed to wait until it was dark and team number 2 was back. So, until then, the few members of the staff left guided them to the River View Lounge.

The River View Lounge was the hotel's bar, and it was located in a strategic place in the hotel to enjoy the view of Kano river and a beautiful sight of Numazu. The bar was big, looked comfy and fancy.

"And they want us to wait here...?" asked Aikyan with her eyes wide looking around, indeed the place looked like if it was taken out of a decoration magazine.

"Well, it's a bar... maybe we should help ourselves?" asked King looking to the bar.

"Aren't we in working hours?..." said Aiai a little bit confused.

Aikyan and King looked at each other, shrugged and moved to the bar.

Aina was amazed by the view, so she approached the window to have a better look.

Aiai blinked a few times watching King and Aikyan joking around with the bartender.

"Aren't you going to stop them?... Or join them?" asked Nanaka with a tired tone; Aiai looked at her and giggled.

"I think it's no need..." said Aiai still giggling, "Shall we take a seat? The girls are gonna take a while..."

Aiai offered Nanaka a table with comfy couches. Nanaka nodded and sat facing Aiai, but she looked to her back to see if Aina noticed them sitting, but it seemed that she was still in her world looking outside. The bar was almost empty, and it would have been quiet if it wasn't because King and Aikyan were being noisy and loud.

"So, you are worried about her?" asked Aiai interrupting Nanaka's thoughts, she turned around again to face Aiai.

"Who?" asked Nanaka, clueless.

"Ainya" answered Aiai nonchalantly.

Nanaka blinked a few times not understanding.

"Seriously?!" snapped Aiai, then facepalmed.

"What are you talking about?" asked Nanaka in her dry tone, really not understanding a thing.

Aiai looked at her with a serious expression, even if it was weird on Aiai, and maybe no one wanted to admit it so freely; Aiai was the most reliable and mature one in Aqours. Not even Arisa or Rikako could beat her at that. Not even Nanaka.

And that was because Nanaka rather preferred to stay low and quiet than to take actions on the matters.

Aiai was different. She could be part of the noisy and annoying "First years" and be treated as the mascot of the group most of the time, but surely she was serious and made herself noticed when something was bothering her. Nanaka could just die with that idea and no one would ever tell.

"Ok, I'm gonna be honest with you..." started Aiai in her mature tone; Nanaka blinked and swallowed dryly.

"We...Aqours, are aware of... how tricky your relationship is doing ..." continued Aiai, Nanaka didn't move an inch, "I'm...concerned... I..tsk" she twitched her tongue, it seemed that she was a little bit complicated.

"What is it Aiai? I can take it..." said Nanaka with her serious tone too. If Aiai had said that, it meant that her relationship was an issue for the rest of the members, maybe they even had another LINE chat without them to talk about it.

"This is not easy, trust me..." mumbled Aiai, "But you see, in CYaRon! I'm the 'older sister', right? I'm like, in charge of the two kids, believe it or not... and I had the chance to talk with Shuka...and well Anchan for the matter..."

"Ok..." said Nanaka, this wasn't new, it was almost obvious, also Shuka had told her about it.

"I think...you are bad for Shuka..." said Aiai softly; Nanaka opened her eyes wide in discomfort, then giggled.

"Arisa said that Shuka was bad for me...geez— Kurosawa sisters, you should agree on what to say!" said Nanaka amused.

"Eh Eh? Really?" snapped Aiai and then giggled loudly in her particular way, "This can turn into a CYaRon! v/s AZALEA battle"

"Ok, why do you think I'm bad for her..." said Nanaka to get Aiai back on track.

"It's not that 'you' are bad for her, I mean, the relationship... she...she is having a hard time you know..." said Aiai in her mature tone, Nanaka frowned in discomfort.

"And you think I'm in paradise?... Aiai, this has been so damn difficult...for me...for us...for—"

"Aqours" finished Aiai, Nanaka bit her lips.

"Yes, I think both are bad for each other because everyone is suffering..." continued Aiai, "Ainya is in deep pain...you know? Hearing you a few hours ago, moaning in the room...then Shuka...and not only in the room...what about the changing room? You two have used it as a love hotel, please..."

"Wait a minute, when we..." Nanaka took a deep breath, "When we came out clean to all of you, all of you agreed and were fine, Aina included, why make a fuss now?... Besides, this is a Hotel, and you switched rooms…" continued Nanaka pointing at Aiai, "... we were in the safe place of our room doing whatever pleased us, it's not our fault that the walls aren't that thick..."

Aiai opened her eyes wide in surprise.

"Jesus, Suwawa I thought you weren't so selfish..." said Aiai in a very disappointed tone.

"I... I'm not, Aiai, I just..." tried Nanaka, but she just grabbed her temples. Was she really being selfish?

But Aiai continued...

"And I changed rooms because it would have been worse if you shared the room with Ainya; that would have given Shuka a stroke or something...I'm glad that we got your backs...or maybe I'll regret it tonight, you two are like rabbits..." said Aiai softly at the end, then cleared her throat to continue.

"Ok, maybe you got me wrong; Suwawa, we learned to love each one of the members, no matter what, we really love both of you, and we think that you are really cute together... but what it's costing us, and I mean we, Aqours, is too much..."

I know!

"We as members will still support you and Shuka, that's not the problem, we made a promise to the two of you that we would help in anything we can...I think we have done a good job on the matter, right? But Shuka has been suffering, the thing you have to do with Ainya...it's... it's killing her! Production is not going to stop, you know? Today Shuka almost lost it with the Chief, she is at her limit...and you want to keep pushing that?"

Nanaka looked at Aiai with a sad face.

Why does it feel like this is my fault?...

Like I'm keeping Shuka tied to me and making her suffer for my own content...

"What about me?..." asked Nanaka softly.

"About you?" asked Aiai a bit astonished, like reaffirming Nanaka's selfishness.

"Yes, Aiai...you..." Nanaka took a deep breath and with a strong tone continued, "You think that this has been easy for me?... That I'm ok with Shuka's tantrums? That I can't do my job because I'm afraid that whatever I do might make her angry?... My things with Ainya are killing us both!... No, the three of us! I'm aware that Aina is in pain too, but I can't do anything for her..."

Aiai looked at her with pity eyes.

"So, you are aware of that and you keep fucking Shuka loud and clear for Aina to hear," said Aiai dryly.

Nanaka frowned.

In Aiai's eyes, she was the true villain in this whole drama. Aiai was watching out for Shuka's and Aina's feelings. So who was watching for her feelings?

Arisa…

Arisa was watching out for me...

Aina had always been watching out for me... third years.

Nanaka closed her eyes receiving the punch Aiai had just given her and then massaged her temples.

She knew from the beginning that having a relationship with one of the members was equal to dating the whole group. And it was like Nanaka had said in her last fight with Shuka; breaking up or having a fight with each other would compromise the full unit, making them take sides and have an opinion about it.

Right now, Aiai was in team Shuka, and maybe Anchan too.

And there was a chance that Rikako was with Shuka because of being a "Second year" too. About Aikyan, it wasn't sure, but King should be with Nanaka because of empathy of Subunit mates, same thing with Arisa. And Aina was not going to pick a team about this; if it was up to Aina to decide, she would prefer whatever made Nanaka happy.

It was complicated.

"So, what are you implying?" asked Nanaka dryly, "You want us to break up?"

"You should" said Aiai in a sad tone, "And not because I would like to see you suffering, or Shuka; Suwawa, I know you love her truly, madly and deeply and trust me when I tell you that she loves you the same...and if you two break up, it's gonna be a humongous disaster... but at least, you will be sparing her the pain...and Aina too..."

"But that...doesn't spare me any pain...it gives me more..." said Nanaka trying to make sense.

"Suwawa, it's not about you...it's for the good of seeing the big picture...Aqours is the big picture; you being in this relationship is taking your career!" said Aiai strongly and grabbed Nanaka's hand tightly, they locked gazes.

"Suwawa, I'm telling you this because you are the oldest between Shukashuu and Ainya, and I think you would understand better than them... Shuka didn't understand when I spoke to her; I don't want to see any of you hurt...and right now, the three of you are getting hurt..."

Nanaka bit her lips tightly. Were they all lying behind their masks?

"And you are the one that worries me most..." said Aiai seriously.

"Why me?" asked Nanaka trying to suppress her tears.

"Because, Aina has managed to keep up her work and her role, even if she is being hurt; Shuka is a reckless kid, whether I like it or not, Shukashuu's anger with you lasts for the moment she sees you, but it disappears the first moment you are out of the picture, and she is capable of going on with her role... But you?... Suwawa, you don't do your job because you are aware that you are causing pain!"

Nanaka opened her eyes wide.

"I can bet my position in the project that right now, Shuka is having a blast with Rikako and Anchan, all her jealousy out the window, because you are not there, Aina is not there... so she is free! She is free to play her role, to do her job, nothing holding her back, that's why she is so happy in CYaRon!... As for you, Shuka is holding you back! I bet you would be so fine and happy if you could do your job with Aina, not caring about consequences! And Aina would be happy working without being judged!" finished Aiai with concern.

Nanaka felt a pain in her chest. Somehow she knew all of this, but she didn't want to listen. Aina and Arisa had told her this already, but Nanaka was stubborn.

"Maybe you will get my point when you see the VTR tomorrow…You will see Shuka going her way…but you, today….you didn't do any 'NanaAinya' things on camera…You just can't..." said Aiai softly.

She bit her lips and closed her eyes in pain. Aiai hit her, hard and raw.

She could somewhat expect this kind of speech from Arisa or Aina, but not from Aiai.

Not from one of the looneys!

No matter if Aiai was mature or the most reliable, she was one of the looneys, she was a "First year", what did she know about her? About Shuka or their relationship?!

Her eyes became all watery.

"Oh oh…Suwawa, I'm sorry…Please…Do-don't cry…" said Aiai in a hurry, "You will ruin your makeup…"

"What have you been talking with Shuka about…? Did she say something…?" asked Nanaka with sadness, holding back tears.

"Eh...eh, eto... we talked...basically because she was concerned, worried and mad...Yes, I think she was mad..." said Aiai with a hand on her chin, trying to remember, "Sometimes the situation was out of control...she can be a spoiled kid, and when things don't go her way..."

"She does her tantrums...I know, Aiai, I have to deal with that..." said Nanaka in a tired tone.

"But why do you want to deal with it?! Isn't it better if you just let it go?"

"I can't," said Nanaka dryly.

"Why?"

"Because I love her," retorted Nanaka, Aiai gave her a goofy smile.

"I... I see..." she said softly.

"Did she tell you that she wanted to break up?" asked Nanaka shyly and afraid. Her relationship had been on the tightrope for too long.

Aiai looked at Nanaka with sad eyes.

"Well, when we talked about this the last time, she was really stressed out...I told her this, she didn't understand, and told me that she didn't want to break up yet..." said Aiai in a soft tone, almost with sadness in it.

Yet...

It's not now, but it's a possibility...

Shuka had thought about that possibility...

Damn!

Nanaka made a bitter face. Of course, knowing that your girlfriend was taking the last fight almost because of compromise more than her feelings and beliefs.

"But she didn't want to because she loves you..." finished Aiai.

Nanaka hummed not quite convinced and looked with sadness at her hands. Aiai held them between hers.

"Suwawa...listen to me, I love you too...I love all the members, we are something important called Aqours, and you two are too stubborn, I know no one would end this relationship even if you two couldn't stand each other..." said Aiai, they locked gazes.

"But you, Suwawa, should think more about your career... you are one of the weakest in the group, have you stopped your hormones to think about it? You were last in the popularity poll, you don't have enough stamina, you have the fewest lines in the songs..." continued Aiai, Nanaka's eyes welled in tears once again, somehow sucking at your job being recalled wasn't helping the mood.

"So where is Shuka in all of that? How can she help you with that? You need to fix those things! Those are the things that should matter to you! Our First Love Live! was announced, how are you going to prepare for that if in three point five songs you are almost dead?! Where is 'Kanan-chan'? I still can't see you comfortable with the role... I think right now you should be appealing to do more 'NanaAinya' thingies to increase your popularity…you need the support of the fans! how—"

"Ok, stop" cut in Nanaka, closing her eyes in pain, "I get your point..."

"I know I'm not the most qualified person to tell you this because 'Ruby-chan' is one of the weakest characters too, but I'm doing my 'Ganbarubiesty' to fix that, to be better... and you should do the same..." finished Aiai with a soft smile.

A lonely tear ran from Nanaka's right eye; she didn't want to cry but Aiai's words were clear, straight to the bone, but delivered with kindness. It was different from Arisa; her words were like a scold, or Aina's, in which everything was like a joke.

"Hey…I'm sorry….Suwa-san…" said Aiai cleaning that sad tear running down her cheek, "I… didn't want to upset you… I'm not telling you to break up with her…If you don't want to, then it's ok…I'll support you…really, I'm just speaking my mind…"

Nanaka closed her eyes and more tears ran from her eyes; Aiai made her best to kindly clean them, for her to not ruin her makeup.

"Hey, did you break Suwawa?" said King approaching the table with 2 bottles of water in her hands, Aikyan was behind her, also with 2 bottles.

"Great job Mascot…" said Aikyan and left one of the bottles on the table.

"You ok Suwa-chan?…" asked Aina sitting beside her and rubbing her back, also leaving a water bottle on the table.

"What's this?" asked Aiai looking around at the 3 members.

King and Aikyan sat too in one of the couches around the table, careful to don't ruin their Yukatas.

"Oh, we are not allowed to have alcohol…" said King in a nonchalant tone.

"Yeah, no matter how much we begged!" continued Aikyan.

"We are in working hours…" finished King.

"Well, I told you…" said Aiai.

"We can only have water…on the house!" said King showing the bottles meant for Nanaka and Aiai.

Aiai smiled kindly, but Nanaka was still holding back tears. Aina kept rubbing her back.

"So, what happened?" asked King opening her bottle.

"You really broke Suwawa?" asked Aikyan.

"Maybe she misses Shuka?…" asked King.

"Don't be silly…" said Aikyan, and with Aiai and Ainya gave King deadly glares.

"What?… Suwawa what the hell?" asked King in her amused tone.

Nanaka looked at her with her "Suwa face", yes, this was her Subunit teammate. It made Nanaka rethink about the "taking sides" thing. Maybe AZALEA was too self-centered, they were together because the fans wanted it that way, not because there was a true sense of camaraderie.

Maybe in a moment of stress, Arisa would save her own ass, King would joke about it senselessly, and Nanaka… would just drop dead doing nothing.

"Nothing, we were just talking…" said Aiai in her serious tone, "We will do our best, right?…" she asked towards Nanaka, she nodded with a faint smile.

They dropped the conversation and turned to something else. With "First years" you couldn't get bored, you couldn't get sad, and of course, you couldn't be serious.

Maybe her conversation with Aiai didn't help much but to reaffirm that Aqours was aware of them having troubles. Whether they liked it or not, Aqours already had an opinion about them and their relationship. It seemed that they all agreed that they should break up, but, they were kind and polite enough to still bare with them and support them.

That was friendship on a whole new level. They knew they were suffering, they knew they were bad, not only for each other, but for the full unit, but they supported it anyway.

About Nanaka's personal goals; Aiai was right. Lately, she had been so focused on her relationship, on hiding from Aina and Shuka, that she needed to put herself together and start to improve for her own sake. Maybe she could make a perfect balance between both things, Aqours and her relationship, but that didn't depend only on her, Shuka needed to be more patient about it, but it seemed that she wasn't.

It seemed that Shuka endured the situation in a fake mask for Nanaka, but on the other side, she came to CYaRon! members to cry about it. Maybe to spare Nanaka the pain. That wasn't fine either.

Nanaka determined that she would stick with her original plan; she would do her job and let Shuka know that she had eyes only for her. Balance was key.

I was time for team number 2 to come back, and in a frenetic way, they needed to move on to watch the fireworks. That meant fixing hair and makeup once again, move fast - in Yukatas- and go to the rooftop. The setting was very well arranged, they had some big lights illuminating the set, of course, it had to be night to see the fireworks and that meant it should be dark, so in order to shoot the damn VTR, they needed those big incandescent lights.

They stood in the middle of to rooftop in the official lineup a little bit eager.

"Ok, we don't have enough time…" said the Chief looking at the girls, then to his staff, "…we don't know if the Fireworks are going to start on time… so we need to start recording before it starts to not miss them…"

The girls looked at each other with some nervousness on their faces. Of course, this was for the VTR and it needed to coincide with the fireworks.

"Inami-san, you are in charge as the MC…," said the Chief loudly.

"Yes!" answered Anchan in her high tone.

"Do you know what to say?… Just greet everyone, tell them that you are in those cute Yukatas, and make them talk about their daily activities in the festival until the fireworks start….ok?" he finished, it seemed that he was eager and nervous too.

"I got it!" said Anchan with confidence.

The Chief nodded and then retreated behind cameras with all his staff.

"In other words…improvise…" said Aiai with a giggle.

The girls giggled.

Nanaka took a deep breath. The evening was warm and nice; the day had been fun too. Even if it hadn't been with Shuka. She blinked a few times.

But now I'm with her…

Nanaka turned slightly to her right to see Shuka by her side. She was with her wide and full teeth smile, pricing Anchan's ponytail.

Yukatas are not for Ponytails…

Uhm!…

Nanaka frowned, and then it struck her.

This WAS her chance to do what she needed to do. That was the only shot that she would appear in with Shuka. She needed to make the most of it.

To tell Shuka how far she was willing to go for their relationship, her love, her commitment. If Shuka finally understood that, maybe, just maybe, Nanaka would continue working on winning the fan's support and making Kanan proud in the songs and dances, but Shuka's confidence needed to come first.

Also, to tell the members, the Staff, and the fans… that she was gay for Shuka. No matter what they said, if it was right or wrong, if they agreed or not; she loved Shuka. Period.

Holding to that thought, Nanaka took a deep breath and with all her courage grabbed Shuka's left hand and entwined their fingers. Shuka gave her a surprised look.

"Suwawa…?" she called softly; Nanaka rose her eyebrows and smiled warmly.

"Ok! Are you ready?!" shouted the Chief; the other 7 girls shouted back an energetic "YES!".

"Are you sure…?" whispered Shuka.

"I have never been surer…" said Nanaka taking her sight from Shuka and looking forward, she could feel Shuka's amazed gaze on her.

"I love you…" said Nanaka softly; Shuka squeezed her hand, both giggled nervously about it. This was indeed bold and unexpected, and it was too late to back down.

"One! Two!… Rolling!" shouted the Chief.

With that, and between nervous smiles and a festive vibe, they watched the fireworks.

And it was marked for posterity, that Nanaka managed to see those fireworks with Shuka, holding her hand.

After taking some official pictures, the girls insisted on taking pictures with their phones, for the memories of course, but those were taken once the shooting was over.

The night seemed fair and the weather was fine, but Nanaka was ready to call it a day. The next day they had the event, and she needed her energy at full capacity. But of course, the Chief wasn't done yet.

He ordered the girls to go back to their rooms and change their; they needed to fulfill another task as Aqours in Numazu. Despite the tiredness, and the fact that it was the evening, and they needed to rest for the event, they were happy to respond to whatever Numazu asked of them.

The city was changing because of them, Aqours was setting Numazu on the maps, and the city was grateful for it, and the love could be felt everywhere around, on the streets, on the stalls, on the people. So the task was simple, all the public transportation of the zone was being branded by the Love Live! Sunshine show, meaning that the taxis were branded, the buses and the ferry that took you from Uchiura to Awashima. And the girls needed to sign some of them, even in the Mito Sea Paradise Aquarium, where the Second Single took place.

All the people were busy in the festivities and the stalls, so it was perfect to go unnoticed and do the job. It was funny to see all of them with their regular clothes but so well made up and with fancy hairstyles. Also, all the love that the people in charge of the branding and companies showed the girls and their signed characters posters. It was indeed an experience that would be marked in their memory and hearts. But Nanaka was dead tired at that point of the night.

They arrived late to the hotel, too tired to even grab a bite. They said their good nights and went to their respective rooms.

Nanaka dropped dead on her bed, lazily taking her shoes off.

"Oh...God, I can't feel my legs..." mumbled Nanaka with her face buried in her pillow.

"Are you ok Nana-chan?" asked Shuka in a sweet voice.

"I think I'm going to die tomorrow..."

"Don't say that... c' mon! It's gonna be great..." said Shuka in a happy mood.

"Aren't you tired? Why aren't you tired? How do you do it? What's the secret?" Nanaka kept mumbling on her pillow, Shuka giggled.

"You are adorable..." said Shuka; Nanaka could hear Shuka's footsteps approaching her, "I'm not tired...because you are here with me...and you held my hand...on camera... and I love you...that's the secret"

Nanaka felt her heart stopping. She slowly turned around and faced Shuka with her eyes opened wide in surprise. Shuka smiled wide at her, full teeth smile; she had her green Yukata in her hands.

"Today... you put your career at risk for me..." said Shuka softly, "You held my hand on camera, and tomorrow all the fans will see us..."

Nanaka blinked a few times and moved to a better sitting position. She didn't say a thing, she was aware of what she had done, she compromised her career doing that. That was something supposed to be done with Aina, not with Shuka.

Maybe the Chief hadn't noticed? If he did, maybe it looked cute to him? Maybe he couldn't stop shoot? Or maybe it worked for the franchise because she was Kanan, and the character was bold and gay.

Either way, Shuka saw that and realized the risk that Nanaka had taken for her sake, for the relationship's sake.

"I'm happy, you make me happy...and for that... I..." stopped Shuka shyly, she fidgeted a bit in her spot with Nanaka's Yukata in her hands.

"I... I want to make love to you tonight...could...could you please put your Yukata back on?" asked Shuka in a sweet but confident, and very polite tone.

Nanaka blinked a little bit confused; lovemaking was something they did naked. Not with clothes on, even less a Yukata. Where was the point in getting undressed, then to dress up with the complexity of a Yukata for Shuka to get her undressed once again?

But then Nanaka understood.

Shuka wanted to admire her getting the Yukata on once again because Nanaka had an elegance and femininity that she could only show wearing that. Shuka wanted to make love to Nanaka; meaning that Shuka was going to be the Ikemen that night, and Nanaka should act as the most feminine and delicate woman, like the ladies that usually wore Yukatas.

Nanaka smiled sweetly at her, even if she didn't have the energy, she would totally agree to do it with Shuka.

"Sure...you promised me to make me moan louder tonight..." said Nanaka grabbing her Yukata and locking gazes with Shuka; Shuka smirked.

"Oh, Yes... I'm counting on it" Shuka said in a husky voice.

Neither Aiai or Aina slept well that night.

.

And they made sure to tell them that the next morning at breakfast.

Aina had some serious eye bags, and Aiai was frowning constantly. Of course, they tried to scold them in a civilized way, but still, Shuka answered them with a grin and the words, "This is a hotel, what do you think people do in them? And Furi changed the rooms". Aiai regretted it immediately.

Of course, Nanaka didn't say a thing, she had some terrible eye bags too, and pain everywhere in her lower half. Also, she was drained, it had been too much "loving activity" for one night.

After breakfast, they went to the place where the event would be held to start the rehearsal with the outfits and everything. Like every time Nanaka had to attend an event, everything seemed to move fast and in a hectic speed. In no time, and after reading the script like thousands of times, and again writing in her sketchbook 3 appeal points for Kanan, the moment came and the show needed to start.

That event was the first time Nanaka would try her new Call&Response, meaning that she needed to teach the crowd how to respond to her at Lives and events, and that could only mean for her to speak more than what she was used to. She was a shy and demure girl, talking to the crowd for so long was a job for a true MC, not her.

So she was beyond nervousness, in fact, she didn't even notice that her headphones were a little uncomfortable and troubled her for almost all the event, making her performance a little bit...off.

Well, more than off. She was out of tune for her solo line in "Aqours HEROES"; her "Hayaku!" was terribly odd, and really out of tune because she just couldn't hear the music. But to tell the truth, that wasn't everything.

Aiai was right.

Shuka seemed to have selective memory when it was about their relationship. The show, besides being live, was also being broadcasted as a Niconama, and it didn't last more than 2 and a half hour between the first performance, the talks section, show the VTR, play some silly games, and finally end with the Live segment with the 3 songs left, and the closing MC of course.

Everything started fine until they showed the VTR, of course, the girls didn't get the chance to watch it beforehand, so they were reacting with the crowd. They showed it in the big screen, but for the stream, they added a little screen in the corner with the girls reacting as the video played.

And Aiai was right. The looney was right.

Nanaka needed to keep her eyes open to receive that punch, because she was on camera and in a live event, so she couldn't start reacting. Shuka was so in her role, so fine with Anchan and Rikako, fooling around and not holding back. Acting so damn cute too, that Anchan even flirted with her, boldly and in an Ikemen voice.

The segment of team number 2 seemed even longer than team number 1, and in almost all the shots Shuka was being cute with Anchan, or Rikako being fooled by Anchan.

It was like receiving a dose of her own medicine. That was how Shuka felt every time she did a NanaAinya thing.

Was she doing it on propose? That wasn't something production had ordered them to do.
Was Shuka willing to build some jealousy in Nanaka? Maybe Shuka wanted to be punished?...

So in short, while Nanaka was back at the hotel having a hard time speaking her heart out with Aiai, Shuka was having the time of her life.

Something was off. It felt wrong, weird, even unknown.

But Nanaka just couldn't do much; she reached to a point during the VTR that she just stopped smiling until the scene of the fireworks came. Watching herself holding hands with Shuka as if it was the most normal and common thing in the world felt good, and that was what she wanted.

Even if this could send a confusing message to the fans; Shuka was fooling around with Anchan, and later she was holding hands with Nanaka.
What was going on? And what about Aina?

Something was wrong.

And she couldn't concentrate in the event anymore, she had to bear watching how Shuka was clinging onto Anchan while playing the silly games as "Years groups", and not clinging to her like she usually did.

Of course, her performance was affected, not only because her headphones were kind of odd, and after performing she needed to get off stage, leaving 8 members and a hole between Shuka and Arisa, -not knowing how professional that was, and if she was allowed to do it- but because she was concerned. A lot of things were running through her mind, a lot of things to digest and analyze, not that she used/like to overthink situations, but this was troubling her.

And the announcement segment didn't help.

It was revealed that their First Love Live! was going to be a two-day event, and it would take place in no other than Yokohama Arena. And that venue was huge. So, from that little theatre in Numazu, they would jump high to reach that arena.

It was mind-blowing.

And it hit every member. From being nothing but "replacements" of their predecessors, they now were taking baby steps to their own Live and shine on their own. And that was the fruit of their efforts and the fans.

So they couldn't help but get emotional to that announcement; Shuka even teared up making Nanaka worry and comforted her, even if it was a quick hug and rub on her back, Nanaka was always there to catch her, to comfort her... But Shuka made sure to return the favor on Nanaka's closing words.

This could only show Nanaka how bad she was; she was feeling terribly betrayed, but still, she was there to hold Shuka in her time of need.

Nanaka just couldn't bear it.

Maybe it was a mix of emotions that half of them were unknown or difficult to define; she was feeling joy of course, her job was taking her to Yokohama Arena, and to keep doing what she loved, and the fans seemed to be very supportive to her, even if she fucked up the songs with her poor performance, people were cheering at her, waving green penlights and responding to her own effort. And of course, that made her feel anxious.

As Aiai had told her, she was one of the weakest; no stamina, no great vocals, no experience. But people were cheering, people were smiling, and that was her job, make people smile.

So she couldn't help but start tearing up in her closing words; she was still very inexperienced in a lot of things, she needed to improve to reach that; an event for people to enjoy, and of course, she was holding back.

There was something, a feeling, deep and dark that mixed up everything; her situation with Shuka.

Her goal should be to reach the shine with Aqours and bring smiles to people, but she wasn't doing that; she was losing her north, fighting a fight that maybe she just couldn't win. She was concerned about something that she didn't know yet what it was, but it was dark, it was negative, and it had to do with Shuka...

And that, of course, made her sad.

She stopped her tears when Shuka rubbed her back and made her feel a little bit better. Shuka could be supportive too. She loved Nanaka, that was out of the question; last night had been clear to her too… But, the way Shuka loved Nanaka was different from hers, it was also clear in the VTR.

Was it jealousy? Were there insecurities? Nanaka sure couldn't find a word to describe that dark feeling, but it was there, hunting her.

This event sure made a big impression on Aqours, and on Nanaka. It made her realize that she was focusing in the wrong north, she wasn't doing her job because she was looking after a relationship that was frail from the start, because Shuka never let her do her job properly, and Nanaka allowed her to do that.

And on the other side, Shuka didn't care if her actions might make Nanaka angry, because she was never "really" angry at her, so she just did her job, not holding back.

There wasn't any balance in that relationship.

The trip back to Tokyo was a silent one for Nanaka. All the members were noisy and commented excitedly about the event, and how Numazu's people were so kind, and how excited they were about their First Live. They were tired, sure, but incredibly happy.

Nanaka was caught in deep thought.

Feeling the people's support was what she needed to take real weight from Aiai's words. Now it made real sense, she could see with her own eyes and felt what Aiai was talking about. Her task and spot in the project, and how she wasn't delivering because of her priorities where in the wrong place… and what was worse, that place wasn't reciprocal to her.

Was it worth to keep on fighting?

.

.

—-**0. September 2016. 0**—

They locked gazes, Sad gazes.

"We…" started Shuka, her eyes welled in tears, took a deep breath, "We need to talk."

Nanaka opened her eyes wide. Her heart stopped. She could hear it, something shattered.

Quiet. Silence. But definitely not Peace.

Nanaka swallowed hard.

She had seen enough dramas, doramas, and movies to tell that those words were always the worst.

She felt cold sweat running down her spine, and somehow, her hands shaking. But Shuka seemed quite fine.

She was always fine.

Nanaka blinked a few times; was she ready to give the last fight? Or to receive the punch and pain with her eyes open wide?

She closed her eyes and took a deep breath.

It was September, and they had just finished their September Niconama; despite the fact that the last two broadcasts they had were an incredible mess, because Nanaka just kept "fucking up" doing NanaAinya "indiscriminately", and might have hurt Shuka with that, she had managed to cheat on the latter one, and ended up teaming up with Shuka and Aiai in the shuffle they had made to settle the new trios for the incoming broadcast. Finally, Nanaka and Shuka would be able to share something.

At this point in the relationship, anything was enough, as long as Aina wasn't there. Nanaka needed to "eliminate" Aina's presence in order to keep her relationship going.

Even if her thoughts were a little bit cloudy after the event in Numazu, her love towards Shuka didn't vanish. But it seemed that Shuka didn't care anyway. Actually, now her anger was towards Nanaka and not Aina, as it used to be.

August was the worse month ever.

It was a toxic month for both of them. And even if they didn't fight, they avoided each other (maybe to don't fight?). Nanaka was determined to work for her career more than the relationship, thinking that if she just avoided Shuka enough, everything would be fine. She needed to work on what was important, and that was becoming more popular with the fans, and that included doing more NanaAinya, but trying to not leave Shuka behind, meaning that every picture Nanaka took with Shuka, she did it with Aina too.

But it wasn't enough, and of course, it pissed Shuka off.

And it was clear to them and the members that something was wrong. It was SO wrong, that neither of them had attended to Rikako's birthday. And Shuka's birthday had been awkward and weird, and despite Nanaka's efforts to restore the balance and give Shuka all her love and passion, the next day, all the love was long forgotten. At least Shuka kept the cute birthday balloon Nanaka gave her.

Same thing for their one year anniversary. It was a good day, It truly was.

They shared some commemorative gifts and a lovely day. They surely made love and reaffirmed how deep it was towards each other… but Nanaka could tell that those moments were magical, but the magic had faded as soon as the day finished. Next day, Shuka was cold and distant, as she had been behaving almost all August. Somehow Aiai's words were still hunting Nanaka in a way that Shuka's love/anger lasted as long as Nanaka was in the same room with her, but when they were apart, it was as if they were just colleagues and nothing was happening in any sense.

Even their activities in the changing room stopped. Shuka changed her locker with CYaRon! members and tried to be busy or always in a rush. They tried to be seen as a couple inside, even if it was by small and short touches or glances, but still, the distance seemed obvious. And Nanaka needed to fix that.

So, right after the September broadcast and the happy thoughts of finally sharing something, "First years" fucked it greatly by starting to talk trash about the NanaShuka relationship, making Shuka feel like a mere accessory to the NanaAinya.

And that… was enough.

That was the final touch to send Shuka into madness; she closed her locker with a heavy thump and walked at an angry peace towards Production's office to return her outfit, and Nanaka walked behind her to try to fix it… but it seemed that it was already too late…

Nanaka opened her eyes and fidgeted in her spot.

What should she do in this kind of situation? Watching movies and dramas was one thing, actually living "the conversation" was another.

"O—ok…" said Nanaka softly and looking at her shoes.

"Suwawa…" called Shuka, but Nanaka just couldn't look at her, she was afraid.

For the first time, Nanaka was afraid of Shuka, about what Shuka could say.

And at this point was quite obvious.

"Suw—Nanaka, look at me…" asked Shuka in a strong tone, Nanaka looked up with a bitter smile and eyes full of tears.

They locked gazes, sad gazes again.

"I…" tried Shuka to speak, but her eyes welled up too, "I've had enough…" she finally said, softly. Her voice was soft, she softened her factions too.

"Are you mad…?" asked Nanaka with a thin voice, "Is…is it because of "First years"?… Because—"

"No… Nanaka" interrupted Shuka, softly, "Well… yes… I'm mad at them… but I'm mad at the situation…I can't take it anymore…"

Nanaka closed her eyes slowly, feeling a lonely tear fall from her right eye.

Of course, this wasn't new, and she knew that sooner rather than later, Shuka would have enough of this so-called relationship. But the pain was there.

"And…" continued Shuka, "I'm afraid that I'm gonna be mad at you too… I think I... already...am… and…I'm tired…I can't do this anymore…"

Nanaka opened her eyes softly and bit her lips trying to suppress all the pain, all the tears, and all her feelings.

This felt so unfair.

Shuka was the one who had started everything, the one who wanted the relationship, and now... now she was tired.

"Why...?" asked Nanaka in an almost inaudible voice.

"What?..." asked Shuka, it seems that she hadn't heard; Nanaka's voice was cracked.

Nanaka took a deep breath, she needed to put herself together, she couldn't be seen so frail and broken from just the first punch.

Maybe she could fight this a little longer?

"Why would you... be...mad at me?" asked Nanaka softly, trying to endure the pain; Shuka opened her eyes wide in astonishment.

"Are you for real?..." asked Shuka.

Nanaka bit her lips. Normally Nanaka wasn't the talkative type, and right at that moment, she seemed to have lost the whole alphabet.

Shuka took a step towards Nanaka and grabbed the hanger where their outfits were, which was located between them.

She locked her gaze right into Nanaka's eyes, and with a strong voice started her rant;

"Your constant flirting with Ainya, Suwawa, are you going to deny it? Are you going to put the blame on Arisha once again?!" said Shuka.

Nanaka blinked a few times in fear.

"She is not doing anything anymore! The ideas are coming from you and Ainya; the pictures that YOU are uploading, not Ainya, are ya' going to deny that too?!"

Nanaka looked at her feet in shame. Shuka was right, lately, she was doing her job without Arisa's help.

And that should be something good, right?

"You even uploaded a picture being fed by Ainya in the Summer Festival for God's sake!" snapped Shuka angrily and left the hanger with a strong movement; the hanger moved a few inches from its position, Nanaka jumped in surprise.

"Just tell me that you cheat on me already and spare me the pain!" finished Shuka angry and looking aside, avoiding eye contact with Nanaka.

Nanaka just opened her eyes wide, for a moment all her sad and heartbroken tears evaporated, to let raging and angry tears fill her eyes.

Shuka pushed that button once again.

Was Shuka so blind by jealousy that cheating was the only thing she could think about?

"Wow..." said Nanaka softly, "are you still on that?..." her tone was dry; Shuka looked at her with a frown.

From the sad and frail Nanaka, now she was facing someone who was willing to punch back.

"You are not the one to tell me that..." said Nanaka dropping her bag right onto the floor.

Shuka looked at the bag on the floor, then looked up to lock gazes with Nanaka with an "o" mouth; Nanaka's face was cold and serious.

"About that picture, Shuka, for the love of God, that was in July! It's September! And you didn't even care uploading a single picture with me!" snapped Nanaka now more angry than sad, her words loud and clear, "and I uploaded pictures with you! From then and later on! Don't be unfair!"

"It's not that—" tried Shuka, but Nanaka didn't let her finish.

"And don't talk to me about feeding someone! What about you feeding Anchan potatoes at the festival?! What the hell was that?" asked Nanaka, now more mad than angry.

"Are you jealous?!" asked Shuka loud in anger too.

"Are you serious?!" asked Nanaka angrily extending her arms; Shuka bit her lips.

Both stayed half a minute looking at each other; Shuka seemed to look for arguments in her head, while Nanaka was trying to hold on.

The fight was still just starting.

"Shuka, that was months ago, I don't care, I can't care..." said Nanaka trying to breathe and calming down, "But it seems that you are really eager for me to cheat on you... do you want me to? It's that it?..."

"What? No... Jesus! Suwawa, that's—"

"But that's what it looks like! You want me to cheat on you... why?!" asked Nanaka with sadness, anger and her lungs feeling squeezed.

"That's...absurd! Why would I want you to cheat on me! I'm... I'm ... I'm afraid of that!" said Shuka with fear, her voice cracking too.

Is she?...

Nanaka held her anger to breath, to put the gears in her mind to work at a fast speed.

It felt like Shuka wanted to end the relationship, and it seemed that she needed a reason. A good one. A heavy one.

One reason that beats all the possibilities.

She just couldn't end the relationship because she had grown tired of it, she had already tried, and Nanaka had given her all good arguments to drop that possibility.

And what was worse, Nanaka took care of the issue and compromised her career to show Shuka, and the world that, she was gay for her, and not just that, every complaint or tantrum Shuka had, Nanaka had managed to turn the tables not questioning if that was bad for her or not, she just did it; so how could you get tired of someone who does everything for you? Even if Shuka was wrong, Nanaka would do it. She would fix it.

Nanaka always fixed it.

She was always looking for a way to fix a problem. To adapt, to save the relationship, to fight for it, she could always see a light in the darkness for her and Shuka to keep it up.

The only thing that Nanaka couldn't fix, was cheating.

And maybe Shuka knew that Nanaka would never, ever, cheat on her, in fact, she was even afraid of that, and it made sense for someone as jealous as Shuka, but she needed a reason to break up. A reason that Nanaka just couldn't fix.

So… I have to cheat on her...

Nanaka closed her eyes feeling the pain once again.

Why would she cheat on Shuka?! She loved her, she had had plenty of opportunities with Aina, but she didn't cross that line because she was committed to Shuka; she loved her and respected her. Her sense of justice was like that, she was stubborn enough to still be fighting for a relationship that Shuka was already tired of.

So, what was the point?

Was it worth it to do such great damage as cheating for the sake of setting Shuka free?

Nanaka took a deep breath and then opened her eyes again, filled with determination.

"I can't cheat on you…" said Nanaka softly, "no matter how hard you want me too…"

Shuka rose her eyebrows in surprise.

"Why….why would I want that…?" asked Shuka with fearfully.

Nanaka sighed with pain and gave Shuka a soft smile.

"You want a reason for us to break up, is that it?" asked Nanaka softly, and then moved to a nearby desk to rest her hips.

She crossed her arms.

"Suwawa…" called Shuka with sadness, she moved too, closer to Nanaka, but stopped a few steps away.

"Isn't it?" asked Nanaka again.

"I… I'm not… I…geez—" Shuka covered her face with her hands.

Nanaka blinked a few times tiredly.

I'm right…

She can't break up with me… she needs a reason to…

"Shuka, I rather prefer to break up because you don't love me anymore than to cheat on you…" said Nanaka with sadness, holding back tears.

Shuka removed her hands from her face and looked at Nanaka sadly.

"But…I love you…" said Shuka with pain and moved a few steps again towards Nanaka, "I do… I really—"

"Stop…" said Nanaka dryly, using her hand to stop Shuka's advance.

Both stayed a few seconds looking into each other's eyes, looking for something, maybe looking for the love and passion they once had. But the only thing Nanaka could see in Shuka's eyes was sadness.

"Then why…?" asked Nanaka dryly, "Why can't you do this anymore?"

Shuka took a deep breath and blinked tiredly. She looked at her feet and then at Nanaka with sadness.

"I… I can't stand to…watch you with her…" said Shuka in a sad tone, "I… feel…so…extra… like… why are you with me?… I told you that you looked so good with her…and we can't share anything… and I still have to watch you fooling around with her… our characters don't match…I…I'm so angry with Production, with Ainya, even with you…I can't stand it… I..." Shuka brought her hands again to her face, "I just… can't take it anymore…"

Nanaka rose her eyebrows in deep pain.

Aiai's words made sense. Shuka was so stressed out with the relationship, that it wasn't healthy.

"…She is at her limit...and you want to keep pushing that?"

Do I?… She is happier…when she isn't with me…She is happy in CYaRon!… in 'Second years', because…I'm not there…

I am the problem…

Nanaka felt tears welling up in her eyes once again.

She was the only one guilty of Shuka's despair, and because Shuka was a kid, she just couldn't take responsibility, or make decisions on her own, so she had bared the relationship up to the point of being drowned by it.

All this time, Shuka had been in despair, trying so hard to endure the relationship, accepting everything Nanaka asked of her; space, time, patience, bear Aina, being mocked by the rest of the members, feeling like an accessory for her and Aina, and to bare all that with a big smile on her face.

And Shuka just asked for her love and patience in exchange.

Of course, it was too much.

Shuka just couldn't take it anymore, so she was throwing the towel, but she just couldn't do it, because she loved Nanaka, in a way, she needed her; all this time Nanaka had been a "big sister" to Shuka, she relied on her, she depended on her, so she just couldn't let her go, unless Nanaka did something as bad as cheating on her…

…But seeing that that wasn't going to happen, Nanaka was the only one who could fix it.

In the end, she always fixed it.

Nanaka took a step forward and hugged Shuka tightly. Shuka jumped in her spot and withdrew her hands off her face.

"Suwawa…?" whined Shuka.

"I love you…" murmured Nanaka softly, "But you are better without me…"

Nanaka could just feel how Shuka stopped breathing at that statement.

Shuka gasped.

"I…I'm…" tried Shuka softly, she hugged Nanaka tightly and after a few sobs, started crying bitterly, "I'm sorry…I'm so sorry…" she said between sobs and cries. She repeated those words insistently.

Nanaka tightened her embrace and closed her eyes with bitterness; a few lonely tears fell from her eyes.

This was what they needed to do.

It was tearing Nanaka's heart apart. But, it was the truth; Shuka was suffering enough, and Nanaka had pushed the relationship to the limit of breaking Shuka. It wasn't healthy, for neither of them; Shuka was trapped in a relationship were her jealousy was constantly tested, and Nanaka's love just couldn't be reciprocated because of that.

They loved each other, but just couldn't be with each other.

"We will be ok…" said Nanaka softly and started rubbing Shuka's back, "I'll be here for you…anytime, whatever you need…"

Shuka started sobbing hard and loudly crying, helplessly. She tightened her grip on Nanaka's blouse.

"I…I.. don't…deserve you...I…still love you…" said Shuka between sobs and hiccups, "I…I love you so much….that it hurts…"

Nanaka made a bitter face suppressing her tears; she needed to endure that pain, Shuka's pain.

She was the older one, she needed to comfort Shuka and show her that it was for the best.
For both, for Aqours.

"I know… it hurts me too…" said Nanaka sobbing a bit.

Then moved back to look at Shuka; she was a mess.

Nanaka grabbed Shuka's puffed cheeks and softly caressed her. She rested her forehead onto Shuka's and closed her eyes.

Her fingers wet from Shuka's tears.

"Are….are—you… breaking up…with me…?" asked Shuka softly between sobs and hiccups.

Nanaka shook her head softly and slowly opened her eyes to lock gazes with Shuka.

Shuka's eyes were clear thanks to the tears, sad, but beautiful.

"No...you…you are…breaking up with me…" said Nanaka softly, holding back her tears.

Shuka bit her lips and made a sad expression, mixed with fear; the idea of breaking up a year of relationship seemed real in her eyes.

"I'm... I'm just making it easier for you..." finished Nanaka.

Shuka couldn't say a thing; she bit her lips with more bitterness, trying hard to suppress her tears and feelings, but she just couldn't. She hugged Nanaka once again, crying loud and helplessly on her chest.

Nanaka softly corresponded the embrace and started softly to stroke Shuka's hair. She looked sadly to the ceiling.

This is the right thing to do...

It must be...

We need to let it go...

But it was painful; holding Shuka, so destroyed and crying so hopelessly in her embrace.

What if Nanaka told her that it was a joke, that she was willing to keep the relationship going once again?

No... I can't...

No matter what I say, no matter what I do... I can't change what happened...

We would still be hurting each other...the situation is not going to get better...and I can't do any more sacrifices in order to hold us together anymore...

Geez— I was so close...

Nanaka rested her right cheek on Shuka's hair; taking in all her emotions and the smell of Shuka's hair, thinking that maybe this was the last time she would embrace her like this.

"I was so close..." murmured Nanaka with her eyes closed.

Shuka sniffed a few times and mumbled softly against Nanaka's chest.

"To what?"

"Us... we had finally managed to share something... and..." Nanaka stopped, she opened her eyes fixing her sight on the ceiling once again, "and ... and now...we are Nothing..." she felt her voice cracking and silent tears falling down her cheeks.

She could feel how Shuka stiffened in her embrace and started crying loud and sadly once again.

Maybe it was too early to say that.

Shuka needed to adapt to the idea that Nanaka wasn't her girlfriend anymore. That they weren't a thing anymore.

That it was over.

It's over...

Maybe being together in December's Niconama was the best that could happen to them. That meant that they had 3 months to heal this deep wound and start working together on camera.

"Hey..." called Nanaka and made some movements for Shuka to look at her; they locked gazes once again, and despite the fact that Shuka looked terribly, to Nanaka, she was adorable.

Nanaka returned her hands to Shuka's wet cheeks and started to caress them softly.

"Don't ...cry... Sweetie..." said Nanaka softly, trying to wipe some of the tears. "It's not the end of the world... I'm still going to be around... I'm not going anywhere..."

Shuka opened her eyes wide.

"But...But you are..." said Shuka softly, but with a surprised tone, "you are going to Numazu right now..."

"Oh, that's right..." said Nanaka softly.

Of course, both had forgotten that production determined that after the Niconama, "Third years" needed to hurry up and change because they would go to Numazu to shoot the third episode of the Tekuteku Aqours that was left. And there she was, ending her own relationship in Shuka's name.

"Well, that would make things easier..." said Nanaka with her nonchalant tone.

"Eh?! How...?" whined Shuka.

"I'm Not going to be around...so you can rest from my presence for a while..."

"Suwawa, don't say that... I... I don't want to stop watching you...or—" Shuka was saying when Nanaka stopped her abruptly by stealing one last kiss from her.

Nanaka tried to make it simple, just a quick peck on her lips, but Shuka responded with another until they had lost themselves in that kiss.

It was a sad kiss, a salty one. But it held all the love they had for each other, but just couldn't share anymore.

Nanaka was the one who broke the kiss, still caressing Shuka's cheeks and looking into her eyes, then with a soft voice said;

"I love you Saito Shuka; we breaking up doesn't change my feelings for you, I'm going to be here for you always, no matter what...and whatever you need..."

"I love you too Nanaka..." said Shuka with sadness, looking desperately into Nanaka's eyes, like searching for something.

Nanaka gave her a faint smile.

"About Aqours...?" asked Nanaka; Shuka gave her a bitter smile.

"What... what do you suggest? Do we need to tell them about...this?" asked Shuka shyly and with sadness, she sniffed a few times.

Nanaka hummed.

"The decision... is yours..." said Nanaka with a sad look.

"Me? Why?..."

"You broke up with me..." said Nanaka breaking the embrace too, leaving Shuka; she made a sad face and grabbed her shoulders like feeling cold. Nanaka took a step to the desk once again.

Somehow the words and the actions were connected. Shuka had broken up with Nanaka, and now there was no more embracing, hugs, or kisses. Also no more decisions as a couple.

Shuka needed to learn now how to deal with her decisions on her own.

"Are...are you sure you want this...?" asked Shuka shyly and sniffing.

Nanaka looked at her with a sadly.

"No, I don't...but, I prefer to end this than to see you still suffering... It's not worth it..." said Nanaka holding on.

Once the words are out of your mind and mouth it's when they have real weight. It's when they become real.

Shuka closed her eyes feeling the pain, her lips shivering and tears falling from her closed eyes.

It was crushing Nanaka's heart, but she just couldn't comfort her anymore.

"So, how it's going to be...?" asked Nanaka softly.

Shuka opened her eyes looking sad.

"I... I think we shouldn't..." said Shuka with sadness, "at least, not now...I...I need to digest it myself first..."

Nanaka gave her a faint smile.

"I agree...we should act normally then..." said Nanaka.

"Normal uh?" murmured Shuka looking at her shoes.

Nanaka blinked a few times not saying a thing. She had already said everything that needed to be said.

Shuka looked at her with a sad face.

Both locked gazes. Maybe they wanted to keep looking at each other and keep talking about everything and nothing, or stay in each other's company.

But it was too painful for Nanaka.

"I... I think you should go..." said Nanaka softly, "you look terrible..." she giggled.

Shuka chuckled.

"You think?" she said with a cocky smile.

"Yes, it seems as if you were on drugs or something...your eyes are red..." said Nanaka in an amused tone.

Shuka giggle.

Both stayed silent for a few more seconds looking at each other.

Shuka gave her a faint smile and nodded.

She started to move out of the production's office when she stopped to look back at Nanaka.

"Maybe I was... I was on drugs... and I was addicted ..." said Shuka with a sad smile, tears falling again. "I hope you have a great time in Numazu... Do your best, Nanaka."

Nanaka nodded and smiled sadly back at Shuka.

Shuka gave Nanaka her back and walked out.

Silence filled the room.

Nanaka's gaze stuck on the door for a few more seconds, hoping that Shuka could just come back and kiss her once again. But of course, that never happened.

She blinked a few more times getting used to the sensation of her eyes being all itchy. Then wiped off some tears putting herself together.

She needed to go and find Arisa and Aina to go to Numazu.

Yes, life must go on, now she could concentrate on doing her job, not holding back anymore…

"Yosh…" murmured Nanaka and moved from the desk to her forgotten bag on the floor.

She took some slow steps, her body feeling heavy, her lungs squeezed and a knot in her throat.

Nanaka stopped in front of her bag, she looked down at it with blurry sight. She blinked a few times feeling the humidity in her eyes, her muscles tired, and then realized that she had been doing a superhuman effort to maintain herself together to hold Shuka.

And now, in the quietness of the room, she couldn't help but feel so…

Empty…

She had been fighting for that relationship for a year by now, how tiring was that? And now it was over.

A relationship that Shuka wanted, that Shuka insisted on having, and of course, Nanaka had agreed to it, because she loved Shuka and wanted to be with her with all her heart and body, so she had committed to her.

And it could have worked… It could truly have if they would have been stuck together at least in one Subunit, or, if production hadn't played with Aina and her for the sake of the project. It would have worked, and maybe they would be happy now…

Nanaka bent down to grab her bag when she felt the wetness on her blouse. She touched her chest, of course, those were Shuka's tears.

She stayed in that kneeling position feeling her blouse with her right hand and her sight lost somewhere.

A few seconds ago Shuka was helplessly crying in her arms, in her embrace, in the safety of Nanaka's presence…and that was over.

All the sacrifice she had made for the sake of Shuka's happiness, for the sake of the relationship, was over.

All the time they shared, the memories they made, over.

Everything was over because Shuka was tired and couldn't stand the fight anymore; she couldn't stand her jealousy and was suffering terribly for Nanaka's sake, no mind that after all, all these months, all the sacrifices, all the fights, not only with her, with Aina, with Arisa, with production, all her efforts trying to do things right, all in the garbage because she had become tired and now it was over.

Nanaka's thighs felt weak, they started to shake; she started to shake, her lips, her arms, her entire body. She just fell on her knees beside her bag, her eyes all swollen, feeling tears that started falling incessantly from them, she just couldn't stop them.

Her chest was so tight that she thought she could drown in her own tears. It hurt.

It hurt so much, that no matter how tight she pressed her eyes, the pain just wouldn't go away.

And like in a movie, everything started to repeat in her head; the first dance lesson on Shuka's house, their conversation behind the reception cottage at the training camp, Arisa scolding them in the yard, Aina losing her shit about this relationship, the secret gatherings, their date on the Aquarium, Shuka's confession, Nanaka's conversation with the Chief about the NanaAinya, then telling the members about their relationship. Second Single Center election. Subunits election. The trip to America, the constant fights, Shuka's tantrums, Shuka's body, the uncountable times they made love to each other, watching the fireworks together while holding hands, sharing the stage in Numazu, training together, and finally, Shuka crying in her arms.

I...I did everything...

I did everything I could...

I tried so hard, I did my best... and I couldn't save us...

I...tried...

...I lost everything...

She brought her hands to her face and started to cry loudly and hopelessly.

Not only about not being able to save her relationship, but she had also failed at portraying Kanan and her spot on the project.

She had just given everything to save her relationship, not caring if that compromised Kanan and the project, she had just done what she thought would be best for Shuka and her.

And now, it was over.

She was left there, crying hopelessly and alone on that cold floor, feeling that her heart was shattered in pieces and there was no way of fixing it.

This was the only thing that Nanaka couldn't fix, her own broken heart.

Her sobs drowned by her own tears, her screams drowned by her own pain.

And her love...

...shattered behind a Mask.

-0oo0-

End of part 2 of Masquerade Series.

---

Notes:

We are so sorry Suwawa...
But it's for the best.
Here it ends Lies Under a Mask... but I'll be back with the next pack of inserts!

Who is ready for some NanaAinya action?...
Get ready because Nanaka deserved some love too.

Thanks so much for the comments! Kudos and favs!
Btw...
Se habla español tambien! ;)!