Authors Note:
Hey guys! It's me, Monika! (✿◠‿◠)
Not the one in the story, mind, a copy of the standard .chr file from the game that was granted editing rights on Hell oWorld's Google Doc! ( ´ ▽ ` )ﾉ
I can even add in little emotes at the end! It's almost like being back in DDLC, where I could be seen while talking to you! o(^▽^)o
Although I suppose back then I was doing so with an actual body, rather than stuff I found on an online Japanese emoticon site… ( ﾟｰﾟ)
Oh well! Now, you may be wondering why I'm directing the Authors Note, rather than, well, the author. Well the simple reason is-
Monika, I told you to let me introduce you to the audience! We've got to be coordinated about this!
You did?! Σ('◉⌓◉')
Oh yeah, yeah you did! Whoopsy~ (ᗒᗜᗕ)՛̵̖
In any case, sorry for the long Authors Note here!
I thought the whole reason you made this so long was to make it easier to reach a high word count? Σ('◉⌓◉')
…
Goddammit Monika.
Oh, was that a secret? Uh, I do apologise! Won't happen again! (╬⁽⁽ ⁰ ⁾⁾ Д ⁽⁽ ⁰ ⁾⁾)
In any case… Merry Christmas you guys!
It's Christmas time!? Oh boy! A Winter wonderland! (╯^□^)╯︵ ❄ ⁝⁝⸃₍⁽΄˙̥΄ ⁾₎⸜ ❄
… Monika, there's no snow here. For that matter, I live in the Southern Hemisphere, it's Summer here.
Well the page here is white as snow! I'm going to make a snow angel! o(^▽^)o
You know what, I admire your spirit. Go for it. In any case, we've spent well and truly long enough on this. Thank you Iimaandshovel for fulfilling my lifelong dream of being called a mug. I have always hoped to one day be a container for hot drinks. Thank you for the complement!
Compliment, Donderpants. ( ﾟｰﾟ)
...Why on Earth did I think inviting her was a good idea….
In any case. This chapter was a tough combination of balancing the Christmas theme with the Natsuki confession last chapter, and my not actually being a big Natsuki fan. It took some really clever thinking, bit of nuclear engineering, smidge of string theory, dash of Dasher;
You still haven't done it yet have you? You're just procrastinating writing the actual chapter by making this really long Authors Note. You have no clue what to do for it, so you delayed by doing this to fill up the word limit you had in mind. I mean, you clearly ran out of ideas a solid three chapters back, and now you're left with "Chapter 10: The jokes that weren't good enough for the first 9". No wonder you aren't getting many followers anymore! Oh, while I'm on the topic of your failures, your last chapter was classist as shit. Ehehehe, it's really quite amusing for me to watch your struggle; so pathetic! (✿◠‿◠)
…
[Monika . chr deleted]
Where was I… Ah yes. The Hell oWorld Christmas special! Enjoy!
And thanks again for calling me a mug, much appreciated.
"Makoto? Uh… I would appreciate a prompt response. Do you or do you not accept my confession? Seriously, this is really bad for my heart. Not as in a "oh Romeo, my aching heart yearns for you" romance BS kinda way, more a "beats per minutes shouldn't be four figures" way. This is really anxiety inducing... baka!"
"..."
"L-Look, I totally get it if you turn me down. We've only known each other for a few days, so I'm sure saying I love you is a pretty huge red flag. I haven't got the curves teenage boys seem to obsess over. My personality is so abrasive that they named a personality disorder after me. There are a number of reasons for you to turn me down, and I swear I won't hold it against you if you do so. Wait… why am I arguing against dating me? Whatever, please, just respond! Even rejection will at least ensure I don't have a heart attack!"
This was… So deeply out of left field. Triggering an early confession from Yuri or Sayori would've been surprising, but Natsuki? She didn't even confess at all in the game! She was the last person I expected to confess out of the blue!
"Well uh, Natsuki, to say I'm surprised would be a great understatement!"
"You're surprised? I only hit you once! I didn't call you a dummy for a solid hour! I may as well have been throwing myself at you."
"That is... significantly less flirtatious than you may think."
"Eh, I've heard about this sort of thing before online. Guys just suck at recognising hints."
"... Sure. In any case, I have thought about your decision. I'd like to have more time to think it over, but I'm rather concerned for your heartrate, so I'll give you an answer. Having heard your confession, I have decided that I will- "
Suddenly, we found ourselves knee deep in snow. We both appear to have Santa hats, and the trees all around are covered in lights and baubles.
Oh, and Monika is here. She appears to really have committed to the theme here, as she's dressed up in full Santa garb, beard and all. She's also hobbling around using a giant candy cane as a walking stick.
"Tis the season to be jolly! Seasons greetings to you lot!"
"Monika, what the heck are you doing here? And what's up with all the Christmas stuff?"
Natsuki seems really freaked out right now. "H-How did all this pop into existence? Am I high right now? I knew I shouldn't have trusted those brownies dad gave me… This is just typical for him."
Oh of course, she doesn't know this is a game.
Monika puffed out her chest.
"Natsuki, don't worry;"
She got into a weird, heroic pose.
"I am here!"
"Monika, while I appreciate the reference, it's not that easy to calm me down. Also uh, we were kind of, um..."
"Oh, did I interrupt something?"
"Yes actually, I was about to tell Natsuki that-"
"In any case! Merry Christmas! Or should I say "Happy Holidays"?"
"Monika, you're dressed up as Santa, I think you've made it pretty clear you're focussing on Christmas."
"Still… Happy Hanukkah! Have a Kickass Kwanzaa! Wish you all a Superb Saturnalia! Heard good things about St Lucia's Day, hope that was good… What else… Oh, have a brilliant Boxing Day! Is that it? "
"New Years?"
"Eh, pass. Oh, but I will wish you all an Overwhelmingly Optimistic Omisoka. This is Japan after all, seems appropriate. Okay, now I think I've run out of holidays in December, and alliterative terms for having a good one. At least that I'm aware of. Now I can focus on Christmas stuff."
"... Righto. Uh, Monika, I have a few quick questions. Namely, how is it currently Christmas? Wasn't it Halloween yesterday? Also, we were hanging out together all morning, and yet you didn't mention the holidays at all; did Christmas start right now? Plus, if it's the holidays, why are we still attending school?"
"Ah, the answer is simple. Jeremy Bearimy. Look it up. In any case, see you at school!"
She popped out of sight.
"Well that was unhelpful. So in any case Natsuki… Sorry for that delay. I assure you that all that stuff popping into existence was not related to drugs."
"... Alright, if you're sure."
"So uh, Natsuki, I must concede, I am a little bit weirded out at you declaring love after no dates and only knowing me for three days..."
"Oh yeah, I'm aware, it's pretty unusual. I'd probably not accept in your position."
"That said, if you'd like, I'd be happy to go on a date with you. I mean, what's the worst that can happen?"
"YES! And yeah, what's the worst that can happen? What time do you have in mind?"
"Ideally tonight, but, uh… I feel like spending Christmas together for the first date would be a bit much."
"Makoto, it was Halloween yesterday, I don't know what the hell happened to time continuity, but I think if we wait til tomorrow we're just going to end up with bloody Valentine's Day, which isn't going to be any better."
"Fair point. So tonight it is! What's your address?"
She suddenly bristled, and recoiled slightly. Oh yeah… probably not interested in my going to her house, considering her domestic situation.
"Oh, uh, didn't mean to make you uncomfortable. How about we meet up at McDonalds?"
"MacDonalds."
… That's right, those stupid damn efforts to avoid copyright infringement...
"Of course, my mistake. I'll meet you there at 6 PM. In the meantime, we should head to school."
Natsuki and I briefly walked together, but considering all that had just happened, it was really awkward, so we decided to go down two different routes.
My route was longer.
A lot longer.
"What… huff… kind of road has… puff... fucking loop de loops?"
"Welcome to my personal hell, bud!"
I turn around to see a male student, who looked like he had been running a marathon. Which he probably had been. That was also a feature of this satanic road.
"Oh, someone else foolishly went down this road! Who're you?"
"The name's Basil! Basil Exposition!"
"What kind of family name is Exposition?"
"Yeah, my family were way too into the Austin Powers films. They also both changed their first names to the letter 's', because that made their full titles "Sexposition.". They suck."
"And swallow."
"God, not you too."
"Sorry, sorry, couldn't help myself. But hey, at least we're finally at school! A mere hour and a half late!"
"I started walking to school in August man. I wish I were only an hour and a half late"
"Holy shit. How bad is this street?!"
"The postmen with us on their route have a 90% suicide rate. The road is used by many churches as a demonstration of Satanic influence. The Japanese government pays you to take real estate from that street off their hands."
"Jesus..."
"I had 8 siblings before we moved here. I'm now an only child."
"... Wow. Uh… Sorry to hear that man."
"Eh, our parents named all of us Basil. Including my sisters. Death may have been a blessing in disguise. In any case, see you later man."
Being so late, I've already missed first period. And a lot of second period for that matter.
But honestly, I really can't say I regret missing them. It's quite magical to be alone walking down these corridors, which have been decked out with tinsel, baubles, Christmas lights, caricatures of reindeer, and mistletoe. I note the last of these, as the game is after all themed as a cliche dating simulator, and that sets off some red flags.
Humming Christmas carols under my breath, I meander on over to Physics. I notice a rather conspicuous quantity of purple hair towards the back. That'll be Yuri.
I take a seat next to her.
"Merry Christmas Yuri!"
"Oh, hey Makoto. Um, Natsuki talked to me this morning, and I've been meaning to ask you, uh..."
"Oh, she told you? Yeah, we're going out to Mc- sorry, MacDonalds."
"Yes, so I've been told, but-"
"It's so weird that we managed to skip to Christmas, right?"
"Y-Yes, but Natsuki asked me for something odd, and uh;"
"Oh, if she didn't bring it up with me, it's probably either unrelated to me, or a surprise. Don't tell me."
"I, I really think she wouldn't tell you about this, and that you really need to know this."
"I appreciate your concern, but cmon, she's not going to bloody chloroform me or anything."
"... If you insist, I'll drop it. But I really think you should keep what I'm saying in mind. I agreed to help her with what she asked for, so consider yourself warned, alright?"
"Sure, Yuri."
That… kinda creeped me out. But come on, it's Natsuki, she's not going to have done anything actually dangerous. I wonder what she would've asked Yuri for though? I suppose her wardrobe might not be very well stocked, considering her father… maybe she asked Yuri for some clothing? Although I can't see why Yuri would feel she needed to tell me about that…
Why specifically Yuri? What would she have asked Yuri for, that she couldn't have asked the others for? Probably something intelligent, lewd, or dangerous. Of the three, lewd makes the most sense; Natsuki's not a psychopath, and Yuri wouldn't feel any need to tell me about some intelligence related secret.
Still though, that doesn't make much sense either… Natsuki is tsundere as hell, so I really doubt she's expose herself like that, and even ignoring that, this is the first date, so a lewd thing would also be really weird.
Oh well, being befuddled won't do me any good. I guess I'll see soon enough.
"So Yuri, what exactly are we supposed to be working on?"
"Page 216 of the workbook. We're focusing on LCR circuits right now. I can help you out if you'd like."
Her face suddenly reddened. "I-I should clarify that I offer as a friend, purely because you're late. Not out of some ulterior motive, such as wanting to brag about being knowledgeable or attraction or something."
"I now suspect both of those motives more than I did before you clarified. But, sure, I could use some help!"
We work through the exercise together. Eventually the bell rings, and we head our separate ways.
I don't encounter any of the dokis again until the club meeting.
I walk into the clubroom, and-
"EVERYONE! IS! HERE!" Sayori shouts excitedly.
"Christ, Sayori, what the hell was that?"
"Mum said she'd get me Stabbed Bowel Innards for Christmas."
"... Smash Bros Ultimate?"
"Honestly, I'm impressed you got that. Even I could barely tell. In any case, I'm really hyped up for it!"
Sayori seems energetic alright. Today's the day her happy facade is suppose to start crumbling away, and she's supposed to go home early… Maybe the holiday spirit has got her mood up?
"I'm glad to see you're in such a great mood today!"
Monika gestures me over.
"Three ghosts showed up and showed me some really traumatising stuff. I resent the Ebenezer Scrooge connection here, but regardless, it was pretty impactful. I decided that, for Christmas at least, I could remove Sayori's depression. Lord knows she deserves it. But it's coming back as soon as Christmas ends, alright?"
Duly noted.
Natsuki sauntered over to me, trying to act casual (and failing miserably).
"Are you looking forward to the festival? I can't wait!"
"Really? You seemed kind of unenthused last time I talked to you..."
It occurs to me that I did sleep for basically the entirety of Wednesday's club meeting f̵̹̅o̶̼̍̐̆͌͠r̸̛̖̗̔ ̷̨͊͊̽̈́͜t̶̝̣̍̏̎h̴̡̠͖̦̎̈́ė̶̩̋̈ͅ ̵͔̈́̀̏ś̴͔̙̓̋͜a̷̭̫͌̈́̐͠ḵ̴̅̐͘̕ę̸͇̯̐̏̿́̓ ̶̠͎̳͕͗̑͆̔o̷̰̖̰͝f̴̥͉͍̥̌͠ͅ ̷̙̭̘̜͖̓̔̇̑͜p̵͇͍̳̰̤͂̿́̀l̸̟̼̰̖͔͝o̵͙̱͍̦̳͆t̶̰̫̀̎ ̵̞̩̬̜̳̐͗̈́̓͠p̴̟̀̈r̵͚͚͙͈̪̖̓̑͊̚o̸͈̤̿g̸̢͉̯̻̊̈́̕r̸͎̙̥͈̙̀̽̍̎e̴̠̞̅̇͂̀͜s̸̢̺̬̝̬̬͝s̷̡̩͈̙͍͌̌̿͑͜͝i̷̢̛̦̼̝̾͑̚̕o̶̭̙͇̞̽̄͌̚ͅn̵͖̲͔̫̺̆̎̐̚̕͜.
"Monika, did she have a change of heart for the festival yesterday?"
"No, actually, I'm also surprised. This is quite a shock, albeit a pleasant one."
"Well, yeah. I'm not talking about our part of the festival. But it's a whole day of school where we get to play and eat all kinds of delicious foods!"
I chuckle. "Heh, you just gave off some serious Sayori vibes there!"
Sayori yelled out; "Hey! I resemble that remark!"
... I don't have the heart to correct her on that one.
Ignoring our side discussion, Natsuki suddenly blurted out;
"Hey, Monika, do they usually have fried squid?"
"Squid? That's a pretty specific thing to look forward to."
"Oh come on… are you saying you don't like squid? You, of all people?"
"I said nothing of the sort! I have killed for squid, and I would do it again. Also, why would it be shocking for me specifically anyway?"
"Because, it's right there in your name! Mon-ika!"
"... Was this entire conversation a setup for a terrible pun that doesn't even translate at all?"
If so, I can respect that. I once ended a 3 year long relationship, purely because I thought of a good pun for breaking up with them.
… How the fuck did someone like me get into heaven?
"Doesn't… translate?"
"Ah, I mean, never mind! Let's just focus on our own event!"
The group quickly disperses to their own activities.
I try to work on homework for a few minutes, but quickly get distracted by Yuri peeping at me over her book. The second our eyes lock, she ducks down, looking somewhat flustered.
Geez, she has got some serious anxiety problems. She seems to be able to move past them sometimes while we're talking, but I can tell she would never be the one to start a conversation.
I stand up, and sit down at the desk next to Yuri.
"Hey!"
"H-Hi Makoto! I… I must confess, I was of the impression you wanted to be left to your thoughts, but uh, if you would prefer to share whatever is on your mind, go right ahead! You have my full, rapt attention!"
I can see Sayori in the background mouth "rap detention" in great confusion… I guess she's listening in. Not that we've exactly been keeping quiet, in fairness.
"I assure you, I have nothing too pressing on my mind!"
"Time just skipped two months, you're going on a date, I've brought up some weird thing that I'm really hoping is a MacGuffin, and you seem to be actively surprised that Sayori is in a good mood today."
"Well, I mean, when you put it that way..."
"Audibly?"
"... Yeah, pretty much."
"Well, whatever qualms you face, know this; the world is full of meaning, often hidden deep beneath plain sight. And there are many untold mysteries behind each person, no matter how well you may know them."
"... That seems like really bad advice for when you're feeling worried. Why would the knowledge that people have heaps of unknowable reasonings and mysteries about them make me feel better about confusing stuff going on in my life?"
"Of course advice from me on how to handle stress is terrible! I can't even start conversations with people, and even around a friend like you, I'm constantly terrified that I'll screw up some element of my sentence structure, and have to speak like… like..."
"A… normal person?"
"Yes."
"Yuri, I'm friends with Sayori. What is she doing right now?"
"... It would appear she is testing the crayon capacity of her nostrils."
"She's not in my field of view right now, and I was still so sure she was doing something stupid that I used her current actions as an example! Trust me, Yuri, you can relax; speak freely! I'm not going to bring in the Feds or anything if you screw up a sentence here or there."
"Thank you Makoto. That means a lot to me."
"No worries. In any case, we never actually got around to reading the book you told me about on Tuesday. Would you still like to read with me?"
"Oh! Not at all! But if you wouldn't mind, I'd like to make some tea first."
"Go ahead!"
"Lovely! Nothing can quite match tea in its ability to truly perfect a reading session!"
We both stand up and make our way to the closet. Natsuki gets out of the way (although I think I might spy a hint of resentment in her eyes for not having really interacted with her yet,)
Yuri passes me a small water pitcher with a filter inside it, and grabs an electric kettle.
"Right, so I'll just plug this in at the teacher's desk, and then we'll go get some water."
After a surprisingly convoluted process (in which I make sure I'm with her all the way, because this scene in Act 2 gave me trust issues.), we're finally prepared with tea.
"Hey, do you mind if we sit on the floor for this? It's better on my back, since I don't have to hunch over my desk. I try to avoid exacerbating it, since I have back pain pretty regularly."
"Huh, wonder why that is?"
"It's most likely because of my- uh..."
"Posture, right?"
"Yeah, yeah, that."
Monika leans over and whispers "Indeed, two rather enormous postures, of a voluptuous nature."
"Shut up Monika."
I have some small chocolate candies, that have so far evaded Sayori's radar.
Well…
More accurately, I yelled out "Oh my God look at that puppy!" every time she noticed it.
I'm surprised it worked thirty seven times.
In any case, I bring them over, since I think they'd go well with the tea. We then sit on the floor, pressed up against the wall, and read some of her book.
Books are really designed to be an individual endeavour, so we have to sit really close to one another to be able to read well enough.
"Oh, here's your teacup."
It's a very awkward position, trying to hold my end of the book, and a teacup, while avoiding a certain someone's... posture.
Sayori walks over, gazing at Yuri's teacup.
"... Yes, Sayori?"
"Yuri, why do you always hold your pinky out when holding a teacup?"
"It's a formality, a polite quaintness, an effort to display traits of a finer class."
"... So it makes you look smart?"
"... Yes, essentially."
"Huh, cool! I might try that."
Sayori sticks out her pinky finger, and a look of determined seriousness takes over her face.
"Oh yes yes, we are very amused. Pip-pip cheerio and all that rot! God save the queen, and long live the fine Brattish Umpire."
"... You seem happy pretending to be posh, so I'll leave you to it."
Ignoring her, Sayori stared at her teacup in wonder.
"Wait… if one finger is posh… what if I remove my ring finger too?"
Monika cheekily grins and dashes out to the hallway. I can already see her opening a command prompt...
"Only one way to find out!" she yells on the way out.
Rather excitedly, Sayori sticks out her ring finger too.
Suddenly, she grows a bushy, well maintained and sleek moustache. A monocle appeared on her left eye, which suspiciously has the logo Monikle on the rim. A gigantic posh and feathery hat also appeared, almost squashing her under its sheer voluminous flory.
"WOAH. The moustache is uncomfortable, unsuitable, and kind of biologically concerning, but woah! Now I can save some of this tea for later!"
A spark in her eyes gives me great cause for concern.
"Middle finger!"
Suddenly her school uniform was replaced with a Victorian era style dress.
"Index finger!"
Her voice takes on an upper class accent. Even when she's not speaking, she gives off an aura of wealth and status, and her mere existence increased the chance of class warfare within a 600 mile radius of 20%. I suddenly find my mind awash with thought of the dastardly bourgeois class, oppressing we proletariats, and I can quietly hear the Soviet anthem in the background.
"Stop Sayori, you've reached peak poshness! Even I'm starting to resent you for how upper class you are! You're also only holding it up with a thumb! That's very unsafe! You could spill some of my tea! Speaking of which, give me my damn teacup back!"
"Thumb time, dear computer pots of mine."
"Compatriots."
"Aww, that undercuts my upper class presence somewhat… My lessened lexicon betrays me. Alas, I must leave your side. Tata."
She removed her thumb, and suddenly teleported away.
"... Two questions. Where the hell did Sayori go… and how is the teacup just floating there?"
Meanwhile, in Westminster, England.
"Those new makeup artists we hired are absolutely fantastic. I don't know how they did it, but you look at least 70 years younger, Your Majesty."
"... Majesty?"
Back in Doki Doki Literature Club, Japan
"... Is… Is she coming back? Y-You know what, I'm just going to hope she comes back, and read in the meantime."
"Sounds like a plan. Oh, uh, have a chocolate!"
"Thanks, but I'd rather not. I'd hate to leave smudges on the book."
Ah right. This is the bit in the game where the MC decides that common sense is less important than the mighty power of Hershey's. Or… Morinaga… Damn you Japan, having chocolate brands I don't know.
However, seeing as I am not in fact a colossal moron, I decided to maintain some vague degree of respect for personal space. The reading passes uneventfully.
"Alright guys, it's time to share poems!"
I go to Sayori first.
"Hey Sayori!"
"Hiya, Makoto~!"
We exchange poems.
Deer Santa Maria
Ive bean a gud girl this yeer, espeshally with helping my mum and dad.
I pade close attenshun in schule, and got an F+ average uwu. Hi scour!
Four Chrismass I wood leyk to get;
Constantinople
Rudolth
Lotsa spagete
A porridge in a pine tree. Weit, no, partige in a pair tree.
You'res truely
Sayore
P.S. Howe doo PS's werk?
"Uh, Sayori..."
"Yeah?"
"... Good job. I… I really like the… the ending."
"Oh woah, I included an ending!? Geez, I really knocked it out of the park this time!"
I nod nervously, and walk over to Monika.
On the way over, Natsuki stopped me.
"Read Monika's poem. I just did, and, well… We'll need to talk "
I (now somewhat nervously) continue on to Monika.
"Hey Monika… l-looking forward to seeing your poem!"
"Hey Makoto! I decided to theme my poem around the holidays! Uh, picture this sung to the tune of "Hark the herald angels sing". Or don't, it's a free country."
One girl hanged upon the tree
For the Christmas revelry!
Baubles of their mirth filled eyes
As you hear their screams subside!
Joyful laughs, as I decide
When you'll get electrified!
While it may get me in chains
Eggnog tastes so good with a smidge of brains.
Harming those who dare to say
They'd like to take my love away!
… I should probably not tell her about Natsuki. That was... marginally more psychopathic than I had hoped.
"Heh, uh, c-creative work there Monika!"
"Thanks! Yours is good too!"
"S-So, I'll just go now-"
"Monika's writing tip of the day! Sometimes, thanks to an amalgamation of poor lessons in language classes, new authors are afraid to tackle the task of writing! They're so used to hearing teachers spout off about the hidden themes and messages of books, that they're left in a panic, wondering what they could possibly use as a central theme. Each person views the world through a unique lens; gleaning unique information. It is this unique perception that it is most interesting to explore through written word; the best authors are not necessarily those you can easily write essays about, but rather, those who can express their own thought process, and illuminate you on a whole new way of viewing the world. So long as you hold true to yourself, your work will always be appreciated here!"
"Th-Thanks Monika."
I don't seem to recall that ever being a writing tip in game… Is she hinting at something here?
I move on. Natsuki and Yuri both had their standard poems about beaches, and nothing worthy of remark transpires; it's pretty much exactly the same as the in-game script.
Once I'm done, Yuri bristles somewhat.
"Something the matter?"
"N-No, nothing serious… just not a fan of the stagnant air in here. It's a common form of foreshadowing, for when something terrible is going to happen?"
"Why would air give a toss about whether or not something bad is going to happen? It's a cool narrative thing they might do in some of your books, but all it really indicates is that the windows need to be left open."
"Y-You're right… In any case, Monika, shouldn't we start considering some preparations for the festival."
"Ah, right! We should decide what we'll each be doing for that."
Natsuki smirks. "I already know what I'll be doing."
"Indeed, you'll be working on cupcakes. We'll need a lot of them, in a bunch of different flavours; are you able to do that by yourself?"
"Can the Pope wear silly hats?"
"Please, Natsuki, keep papal matters out of this. Oh, but uh, personal request; can you make some of those hokey pokey ones you made a few weeks ago?"
"Ah, I see you're a man of culture!"
"I'm assuming that's some weeby reference, but can you please not call me a man."
"Sure thing man."
"... Alright then. My job will be to print and assemble pamphlets and general promotional materials. I'll be working on the design with Sayori, at her house!"
Her eyes lit up upon hearing this. "Oh boy, we get to make proper Ganon!"
"Makoto, do you know what she's saying?"
"Propaganda?"
"Yeah, that."
"Well, that just leaves Yuri. Yuri can… Uh..."
"I-It's alright. I, I can take a hint. I know when I'm not wanted."
We all rush to assure her that she's indeed very important and wanted.
Well, except Natsuki. Natsuki just shouted out "THE TRUTH HURTS!" and then went back to reading manga.
"Yuri, as club president, I assure you that each of us… except maybe Natsuki… really depends on you. You can work on the decorations! You've always been good at creating the desired ambience."
"Y-Yes, I assure you I will create a delightful atmosphere!"
Glancing up from her manga, Natsuki shouts "If you don't include glitter, I will!"
"...Noted."
Sayori suddenly furrows her brow. "Hold on, that's only three jobs. Monika and I are working as a team of two, so divide three by two, that gets you to 1.5, but the festival is on the 10th, so multiply by that and you get 15… What the, Makoto, how come you're not doing any work if we've got 15 tasks!?"
"Sayori, that maths is terrible, but yes, I was wondering what role I would play in the festival production. I'm not necessarily "good" at "anything", but surely I can be of some assistance."
"Well, both Natsuki and Yuri have some pretty heavy tasks to handle, I'm sure they'd both appreciate a helping hand."
"Yeah, baking on such a scale will be quite a task."
"And it takes a lot of decorations to change an entire room this size."
"Of course, you could always help me out as well… I would be really appreciative of that."
Sayori lights up. "Oh, oh yes, go with Monika and I! Once we're done, we can Smash!"
Natsuki and Yuri both give her an odd look.
Really?
"Guys, she means playing Smash Bros. Get your minds out of the gutter."
"O-Of course we knew that! R-Right Yuri?"
"Y-Yeah, absolutely! No confusion whatsoever!"
In any case, the choice here is obvious.
"Since Sayori and Monika have the lightest workload, it wouldn't make sense to help them. Instead, how about I invite Natsuki over, we bake cupcakes, and then Sayori, Monika, Natsuki and I should be done in time for us to play some Smash Bros."
Yuri looks crestfallen.
"Don't think I've forgotten about you, Yuri. Seeing as I have a double period of art tomorrow, you and I can try to do some of the decorations there!"
"Wait, but then I'll miss my actual double period!"
"Yes… a double period of Physical Education."
"... I retract my prior complaint. But wait, won't your art teacher not let a random student into their class? And won't they expect you to be doing your work for the subject?"
"They earn a living teaching art. They're not exactly going to be a stickler for rules. In any case, with all that, we should all be able to join up with Sayori and Monika by 4-5 PM, and then we can hang out, and play videogames and the like as a club. Sound good?"
Having all agreed to my suggestions, we head home.
I don't stay there for long though. Pretty quickly, I head off to MacDonalds, to meet up with Natsuki.
"Hey there, Tsu."
"What the hell was that?"
"Trying to go with a nickname, that clearly didn't work."
"No kidding, Sherlock."
Natsuki furrowed her brow. "So, I guess we don't know much about each other yet… Well, besides names and ages, I suppose."
"You're eighteen, right?"
"I'm five!"
"Don't you dare fucking lie to me."
"Plus seven!"
"What kind of cryptic bullshit is-"
Wait, so five plus seven equals, one, two, three...
"How do you count to twelve again WAIT WHAT?!"
"Heh, glad you played along with that reference. I just wanted to embrace the memes and work with the loli jokes rather than against them."
"That was a reference?"
"... Makoto, you are aware that I'm not actually 12, right? And… you know how to count to twelve, right?"
"... Yeeeeees. Yeah, yeah let's go with yes."
"Okay then… so, if we're going to be in any kinda romantic relationship, I will need to ask; how familiar with anime are you?"
"I watched exactly one anime series to completion."
"Oh God."
"That series in question was Sword Art Online."
"You have no idea how much I want to hurt you right now."
"Oh, it gets worse. The order I watched it in was; the abridged series first, followed by all of Season 2 except Episode 1, followed by Season 1, followed by episode 1 of Season 2."
"For the love of all that's holy; d-did you at least use subtitles?"
"Of course! I'm a noob, not a monster. Subs not dubs."
Natsuki's smile suddenly froze, and she whispered "I fucking knew it" under her breath.
"Uh, Natsuki, what's the matt-"
I felt a sharp pain in my thigh. Looking down, it appears Natsuki has shoved a syringe into it.
I suddenly recall what Yuri said earlier today.
"Thanks, but I'd rather not. I'd hate to leave smudges on the book."
No, not that. You know what, that's my bad, I should've been more specific.
"Natsuki asked me for something odd."
"I really think she wouldn't tell you about this, and that you really need to know this."
This… This has to be what she was talking about.
"What the fu… Is this, like, an emergency flu shot or something? I, I don't see why it would be administered by random students though, and whoa okay there goes all sensations below the neck. The… the mitochondria is the powerhouse of the ce… of the, of the"
I collapsed forwards onto the table.
Author's Note:
I promise that there is a logical explanation for this. One can logically identify why she'd do this based on everything stated so far in the story, and it will be discussed in the next chapter. It is not just a stupid cliffhanger idea.