The Nightmare That Is Marriage

-o-

It is the passion that is in a kiss that gives to it its sweetness; it is the affection in a kiss that sanctifies it.
Christian Nestell Bovee

-o-

Tenth Anniversary: Affections and Invitations

-o-

Few people knew this, but Ichigo wasn't a morning person, and no, his father didn't help his attitude regarding mornings one bit. He loved sleeping in, and whoever woke him would face an untimely demise.

Well, with the exception for Rukia.

"Wake up, you idiot!" She didn't wait to see if he'd actually get up, instead she promptly pushed him off the bed and onto the hard wooden floor, a smug grin on her face, and it only grew wider when she saw his heated glare. Kneeling down on the mattress she ruffled his unruly orange hair with her right hand, snickering. "We've got some special visitors, dear."

Yes, Rukia was the exception. Not because he loved her, although that definitely was a benefiting factor. She was the exception because she could, and most likely would, kick his ass into the next millennium if he pissed her off too much. That was why, even though he had the strong urge to wrap her in their blanket like a living sushi roll so she couldn't move and he could continue sleeping until well past noon, he got up and begrudgingly dressed himself, doing his best to ignore her self-satisfied grin.

"Good boy."

Shut up.

-o-

Yawning loudly Ichigo threw his tiny, way-too-chipper wife an annoyed sideways glare, wondering where his backbone went. "So, who are these special guests you woke me up for?"

Rukia only continued humming, a broad smile on her face. "You'll see." Ignoring her husband's annoyed murmur she skipped on ahead, his right arm tight in her grip. She dragged him the last few meters to the mansion's entrance, biting her tongue to not burst out laughing when Ichigo saw just who was visiting them. Looking back and forth between their guests and his smirking wife he finally settled for the midget. "You were enjoying this, weren't you?"

"You have no idea." With that she pushed him forward, the orange-head almost tripping over his own feet as he stumbled towards his friends. He smiled against his will, genuinely happy to see them again. "Hey, guys."

Tatsuki rolled her eyes, her arms crossed over her chest. "Eloquent as always." Ichigo's gaze snapped to her in an instant, and he was just about to give her an angry reply, when his gaze fell on the orange-haired healer, his enthusiasm dulling slightly. He still hadn't forgotten what happened before his and Rukia's wedding, and a part of him was still pissed. Sensing the drop in his mood Rukia quickly walked up beside him, putting her hand on his back in an attempt to calm him. "How about we have some tea, guys?"

-o-

Rukia's cheeks were flaming red as she felt her husband inch ever closer to her, her left hand tightly grasped in his right. Ever since the group sat down in the large living room Ichigo had gotten extremely clingy.

And it not only unnerved her, but also their friends.

Slightly inching away from the orange-head and taking her hand out of his she smiled at her friends, doing her best to avoid thinking about just how nice he smelled. "So, how is it going in Karakura? We haven't been able to talk since the reception." As the others started recounting their past months Ichigo once again inched closer to her, and Rukia didn't know whether to feel insulted or embarrassed when he rested his head on hers, his hand once again reaching for hers. Her violet gaze met the red band around his wrist, the faint glow casting a light pink light on her pale skin. When her husband started nuzzling her hair she took it as her signal to get as far away from him as possible.

The young prince jerked back as Rukia jumped up, a bright blush spreading on her face and down her neck. Rukia coughed, her voice cracking as she slowly moved towards the door. "I just noticed that we don't have any snacks... I-I'll go get us something to eat." With that she practically bolted out of the room leaving a disgruntled Ichigo in her wake. He ran a hand through his wild hair before turning back to his friends, blinking at their confused expressions. "What?"

"Have you been in a brain coma for the past half an hour?" Ishida's incredulous voice caused Ichigo to frown. "What do you mean?"

Before any of them were able to inquire more Rukia came back, and Ichigo went right back to puppy-mode.

-o-

After many futile attempts of pushing her clingy husband off of her Kurosaki Rukia finally resigned to her fate and let him cuddle her all he wanted. And he took full advantage of it. The black-haired woman rubbed her temple in exasperation while the young prince cuddled her into his chest, his nose happily buried in her hair, oblivious to how uncharacteristically he was acting. All he could really think about was her, to him, breathtaking scent. Never noticed that she smells like orchids... I gotta mass-order whatever shampoo she's using...

He jerked back a little when his tiny wife jabbed him with her elbow, glowering at him over her shoulder, her face as red as a tomato. "Will you at least listen to your friends? It took us ages to convince the elders to let them visit, you jerk." The orange-head blinked repeatedly, his head clearing a little and the glow of his wedding band receding slightly. "Huh?" Shaking his head he ran his hand through his hair. "Sorry, I... I feel a little weird. I'll be right back." The others only stared after him as he quickly rushed out of the living room. It took them a few seconds to get over their initial surprise, and it was Rukia who stood up, going after the orange-head with a frown on her face.

-o-

Ichigo stood bend over the sink in the bathroom he shared with his wife, splashing water on his face. What the fuck is wrong with me today? I mean, sure, she smells better than usual, but this is just ridiculous. Looking up at the mirror he sighed, rubbing the bridge of his nose tiredly. The moment I get close to her I devolve into some lovesick puppy. On the other hand... she just smells so nice all of a sudden. I can't help but feel all happy and affectionate. Sighing again he turned around to get back to his friends only to come face to face with his wife, already bracing himself against turning into a clingy puppy. When nothing happened the two relaxed visibly and Ichigo took her hand in his. "Sorry about my behavior, I don't know what got into me."

To his genuine surprise did Rukia just smile at him, pecking his cheek. "Just try to stay normal from now on... or at least your definition of normal, okay?"

"Ehh? What's that supposed to mean, midget? Huh?" Poking her forehead he unconsciously dragged her closer, getting in her face.

"It means you're abnormal, idiot." Seeing him swoop down to kiss her she quickly turned around, grinning when she heard him fall face-first onto the floor. "Now hurry up and spend time with your friends, baka."

-o-

It took all of Ichigo's willpower to not smother Rukia the moment they entered the living room again, her scent intensifying more and more the longer they were around the others. Sighing, he begrudgingly scooted away from his wife because he could already feel the urge to cuddle her senseless again. Why doesn't she feel like this?

What he didn't know was that she did feel the same, but unlike him she had some semblance of self-control left.

Although it was holding on by a thin thread only.

"Right, before I forget about it again!" Every pair of eyes in the room turned to Mizuiro as he started to rummage through the backpack he had brought with him. Finally finding what he had been looking for he handed a stack of envelopes to the group, smiling brightly. Rukia frowned at the navy blue envelope. "Why do Ichigo and I only get one?"

The young playboy waved her off, tilting his head to the side. "You two are married, silly, why would you get two invites?"

She frowned deeper. "Invite?"

Keigo jumped at his friend, tears running down his cheeks like waterfalls. "You finally invited me to one of your birthday parties? I can't believe iiiit!"

"Please calm down, Asano-san."

"Why so formal!"

Purple eyes started to sparkle. "Birthday party? I have never been to one!" Turning to Ichigo she practically began to glow. "I wanna go!" The orange-head raised an eyebrow at her antics. "Ask the Elders, it's not like I have any say on the matter anyways. I'm not suicidal enough to disagree with you." His wife was gone in a flash, and for once in his life he felt sorry for Kimiko.

Rukia's gonna kick her ass.

-o-

That evening, long after their friends had returned to Karakura, Ichigo was lying on their bed, reading one of the books their friends had given them as wedding gifts, waiting for Rukia to be done in the bathroom so they could go to sleep. When she finally entered their bedroom in her pajamas, her hair wet and clinging to her skin, he looked up at her with a raised eyebrow. "I'm not sure I really want to know but... how exactly did you convince that dragon of a woman to let us go to the party without bodyguards?"

Her smirk sent shivers of fright down his spine as she sat down on the edge of their bed. "You're right, you don't want to know." With that she took the book out of his hands and gave him a quick peck on his cheek, turning off the light on her nightstand. "Stop thinking so hard, Ichigo, it might start to hurt."

Ignoring her snide reply he continued to stare at her while she curled herself into a tiny ball under the covers. They remained like this for a few more moments until Rukia grumbled at him. "Turn off the damn light."

Once again he ignored her remark. "So, you've never been to a birthday party?" His wife let out an exasperated sigh and sat up again. "Yes, after a few decades you kind of stop caring so no one really feels the need to do a party. The last time anyone's birthday was celebrated was Hitsugaya-taichô's a few years back, and you can't call 4 people watching fireworks a party."

Ichigo knew his next question would probably lead to severe bodily harm, but his curiosity was piqued. "Rukia... how old are you really?" Just like he expected did a bright blush spread over her face and neck down to her collarbone, her right hand balling into a fist. Unlike their usual squabbles, however, he caught her fist before she could hit him, smirking at her surprised face. "I just want to make sure that your cake has enough candles for your birthday party, dear."

He was surprised that her head didn't explode from all the blood rushing to her face. "I'll turn seventy in January." The orange-head raised an eyebrow. "When we met you said you were ten times my age." When her blush darkened even more his face fell and he let go of her fist. "Are you for real?"

"I had no frame of reference, you idiot! All I knew was that humans age faster than souls!"

"You thought I was six years old!"

"And you slept with a woman you thought was a hundred and fifty, now who's the bigger idiot?"

"Considering 70 still makes you an old hag, I'd still say you." He knew he deserved the fist in his stomach this time.

-o-

Kurosaki Ichigo awoke to the feeling of soft lips ghosting along his jawline. Blinking slowly it took his brain a few minutes to catch up with his eyes, his brows furrowing. "What are you doing?"

His wife jerked into a sitting position, glaring at him. "Is that all you can say when I take the time to wake you up in a nice way for a change?" The tiny woman crossed her arms over her chest and averted her gaze, a small blush spreading on her cheeks. "I just thought you'd have a better mood in the morning if I woke you up like that, is all." She snapped her gaze around when Ichigo wrapped his right arm around her petite frame, dragging her closer to his chest, a smirk on his face. Before she was able to say anything Ichigo had already pressed his lips to hers, his left hand tangling in her raven locks. Breaking their liplock the orange-head smirked even broader, moving to her neck. "I feel like you had something else in mind when you decided that."

The raven-head pushed against his chest. "As if." Ichigo pouted, nuzzling her cheek. "Come on, it's been a few days."

"Then go take a shower and take care of yourself, idiot." She felt his hands rub her back through the thin silk of her nightgown and barely managed to suppress a shudder. "But I want to take care of my wife, too." The two stared at each other for a few seconds and she sighed, crossing her arms over her chest again. "You're turning into a complete pervert."

"Says the woman that practically jumped me."

Rukia spluttered, blushing more furiously. "That was once!"

"Your point?"

Growling lowly Rukia did the only thing that came to mind in order to wipe the smug grin off of his face. She kissed him, pushing him down onto their bed. Considering her earlier reluctance the young prince was taken aback by her sudden aggression, her hands tugging his shirt off of him before his back even met the mattress. Her hot hands rubbed across his chest, her body melding into his and a loud moan tearing from her throat. She trailed her lips along his strong jaw, her tongue darting out to trace the shell of his ear. "I thought you wanted to take care of me?"

-o-

Outside of their door a maid stood, her eyes watching the hands of her watch timidly. She didn't want to risk knocking before eight, to make sure her prince wouldn't rip off her head again for being woken up "too early". With a sigh she finally knocked, calling out to the young couple through the door. "You need to get ready! The meeting with the family begins shortly!"

She was only met with silence.

-o-

Ichigo watched his tiny wife bounce up and down on top of him, his eyes transfixed on her sweaty body. He absolutely loved it when she wanted to be the dominant one in their little trysts. Smirking, he reached up to cup one of her breasts, kneading it softly in his palm while Rukia increased her speed. Bending over him she pressed her lips to his, their tongues battling fiercely. Eventually, the orange-head relented, letting her have her fun.

After all, he had his, too.

-o-

The maid had waited patiently for fifteen minutes, occasionally knocking and calling out to the royal couple, before she decided to risk it. Taking a deep, shaky breath the young woman slid the door to their private rooms open, taking a few, tentative steps inside and slowly advancing to their closed bedroom door.

In retrospect, she guessed, she should have listened more closely, and she might have been able to hear the deep, throaty moans coming from the room.

But she hadn't listened closely.

So, when she slid the door to their bedroom open, she was met with the sight of the future king and queen of Soul Society going at it like rabbits.

Her poor virgin eyes.

-o-

Rukia suddenly froze, looking in the direction of the door, a frown on her face. "Did you hear something?"

"You imagined it." Her husband was already fidgeting underneath her again, urging her to keep going, and with a sigh she turned back to him, a playful smirk on her face.

The maid had already hightailed it from there.

-o-

"They're late." Hearing Kimiko grumble this once more, Isshin wondered how rich he would be if he got one yen every time she said this.

I could probably buy a yacht by now, he thought sourly, yawning. "They'd probably be on time if the meetings weren't held at dawn."

"It's eight thirty!"

"Exactly."

The heads of everyone in the room, both Kurosakis and Kuchikis, turned towards the traumatized maid as she entered the large meeting room. A black, delicate brow rose as the sixth division captain regarded her. "Is something the matter?"

"Well... I am afraid Ichigo-sama and Rukia-sama won't be joining you for a while."

The Kurosaki dragon slammed her right fist on the table, scaring the young maid. "Go drag them here if you have to, I don't care if they are too tired!"

"I... I'm sorry, but I didn't say they are tired. They are... well... busy."

Before any of the assmbled Elders could inquire further one Kurosaki Isshin broke into loud, boisterous laughter.

-o-

With a last, drawn-out moan did Rukia fall on top of her husband, her face against his sweaty chest. A small smile tugged at the corners of her lips as she felt his fingers comb through her wet locks, his left arm wrapped tightly and possessively around her slim waist. His chest vibrated as he spoke up, his voice dark and raspy. "Say... why did you wake me up anyways? Did we have plans?"

Rukia felt the blood freeze in her veins. "Shit."

-o-

"Well, it seems like they have forgotten about us, I say we reschedule the meeting." Closing his gray eyes the head of the Kuchiki clan moved to stand up, not really keen on meeting his sister and her husband right after... taking care of their marital duties.

Once really was enough in his opinion.

Just when the others were ready to follow his example the door to the meeting hall opened, Ichigo and Rukia standing in the doorway, both wearing sweat pants and lose shirts, still covered in sweat. Isshin smirked at their appearances. "So you had time working on my grandkids, but not to change your clothes?"

Two bare feet connected with his smugly grinning face, the married couple having had the same thought. The orange-head cracked his knuckles as he started to smirk himself. "Now you know why we're wearing pants, you bastard."

"If you are done beating up my good-for-nothing nephew can we finally start this meeting?" Kimiko pinned the two Shinigami with a withering stare, both sitting down with an equally heated glare.

The meeting went on for a while, and after the first couple of minutes Ichigo barely managed to even understand what the hell the old geezers were talking about. His eyes began to droop, and the thought of taking a short nap felt heavenly.

Kurosaki Rukia did her best to ignore it, but her cheeks still started to blush red when her husband fell asleep, his head landing on her lap with a soft thud. She tried to keep a straight face while shaking his shoulders, whispering through her teeth for him to wake up, but to no avail. Instead he grumbled lowly, turning around on her lap, pressing his face against her abdomen and worsening her blush tenfold.

The young wife just wanted the ground to swallow her whole.

-o-

Yes, I was being a tease this time, deal with it.