"You utterly lack talent and discipline," Dr. Fugue declared. "Furthermore, your fingers are much too stubby. Don't bother practicing, because you have absolutely no future as a pianist. Meet me here tomorrow at the same time, and I'll point out even more of your faults."
D.W. heaved an impatient groan as she climbed down from the piano bench and trudged out of the rat man's uninviting house. The sight of her mother in the family car was the most welcome of her day.
"How was your first lesson, dear?" asked Mrs. Read as she piloted the car away.
"Horrible," said D.W. with a scowl. "Dr. Fugue is the worst teacher ever. I think he must be the Devil in carnations."
"Arthur said the same thing after his first piano lesson with Frederick," said her mother, "only without the religious allusion."
"His first name's Frederick?" D.W. marveled. "I thought it would be Dread Lord or something like that."
"You'll warm up to him," Mrs. Read promised.
"No, I won't," said D.W., folding her arms. "I'm never going back there."
"Oh, yes, you are."
"No, I'm not."
"Yes, you are."
"No, I'm not."
"Yes, you are, if you ever want to watch New Moo Revue again."
D.W. knew she had no recourse. She quietly snarled under her breath.
"You'll thank me later," said Mrs. Read.
"I'll be buggered if I do," said D.W. grumpily.
"Where did you learn that word?" asked her mother.
"From Beat," D.W. replied. "It's only a swear word if you say it in England."
They passed by Buster's condominium, where Fern had just arrived after her visit to Mrs. Krantz' house.
"Hi, Fern," said Buster, leaning over to kiss the poodle girl. His dog, Amazon Puppy, wanted a piece of the action as well, and licked the shiny surface of Fern's shoe with her rough tongue.
"Sorry for making you wait," said Fern after removing her lips from Buster's. "I had to pick up something from April." She surreptitiously rubbed the stone in her pocket with her fingers.
"It's time for Bunny League Unlimited," Buster told her. "Wanna watch it with me?"
"Sure," said Fern, taking a seat on the couch next to him.
The opening credits of the new cartoon began to roll. "When seven heroes just won't cut it," said the announcer, "you need…Bunny League Unlimited!"
Images of dozens of heroes flashed by on the screen. In the real world, thought Fern/Tegan, the government institutionalizes people with special powers. But someday that will change…
On the screen, Martian Bunny (a.k.a. J'ack J'ackzon) was inducting new members into the League. "Your name?" he inquired of an aardvark man with a feathered green cap.
"Green Aardvark," the man replied.
"Your power?" asked J'ack.
"I'm the world's greatest archer," said the inductee. "I can incapacitate an entire street gang with one volley of my stun arrows. I also tap dance."
"Normally I'd reject you," said Martian Bunny, "but the evil alien overlord Darksuit is massing his forces for an invasion of Earth, and we need every hero we can get. Here's your membership card and communication device."
"How do I put this on?" asked Green Aardvark, examining the tiny chip.
"Captain Novocaine, the world's most painless dentist, will install it," J'ack told him. "Next, please."
Buster gently stroked Fern's hand. "I wonder where Fast Bunny is," he remarked. "He hasn't been on the show all season."
"Uh-huh," said Fern semi-interestedly.
"And Martian Bunny spends all his time in the space station," Buster went on. "I mean, come on! He got sliced in half and survived. He should be fighting supervillains, not pushing papers."
"Your name?" Martian Bunny asked the shapely female rabbit before him.
"Empowered Woman," she answered.
"Your power?"
"I don't let any man tell me what to do with my life."
"We can't admit you unless you have some kind of super power," Martian Bunny told her.
"You can, and you will," said Empowered Woman.
As the episode progressed, Amazon Puppy continued to lick Fern's shoes. "She's so darling!" gushed the poodle girl.
"What this show needs is a cute animal sidekick," said Buster. "Maybe a cat with a magical tail, or a dog with super-strong jaws, or a duck who can fly."
Fern reached down and lifted the puppy into her lap. "You're such a funny little ball of fur!" she said, tickling the animal's stomach.
I wasn't even allowed to have a pet at Ballford, thought the Tegan part of her. My life begins today…
When the program ended, Fern kissed Buster one more time and stood up. "I'd love to stay longer, but I have a project to work on."
"Is it something I can help with?" Buster asked her.
"No, this one I've got to do alone," was Fern's answer.
"Okay," said Buster. "I'll see you when you're done."
After he had let Fern out and closed the door, he realized that he had forgotten to give her a goodbye kiss. Throwing the door open, he called out to her. "Fern!"
He saw no one in the hallway.
Minutes later, Fern slowly pushed open the door to the Prufrock house, hoping the residents would attribute it to the wind. Once inside, she crept invisibly through the living room, overhearing Mrs. Prufrock's phone conversation on the way.
"We just adore little Graham, Angela. We all agree that we want a boy, especially my husband. He's been a Scoutmaster for fifteen years, but he's never had a boy of his own to take on camping and fishing trips. Prunella refuses to go fishing—she's afraid of getting a hook in her eye."
The stairs creaked slightly as Fern ascended them; they almost reminded her of the haunted cellar in the old Tibble house. Seeing the door to Prunella's bedroom open and no one inside, she tiptoed her way in. A blanket lay haphazardly over the bed, and a small booklet lay on the desk alongside a large manila envelope.
Fern stepped closer and observed that the cover of the booklet read, PRUNELLA'S DIARY, FOR PRUNELLA'S EYES ONLY. I didn't know she kept one, she thought. Imagining it might contain a clue to Alan's whereabouts, she unhesitatingly picked it up and opened it to the bookmarked page.
"Alan's in terrible trouble." The paper appeared to have a few dried tears on it. "I don't know where he's going, and neither does he. I wonder if what he did to Mr. Mansch counts as murder. I hope he doesn't go to jail. That wouldn't be right. He was only defending himself."
She doesn't know, Fern realized. This complicates things.
She turned the page. "The MRI images came today. I saw the picture of my brain with the little black thing inside of it. I think the aliens put it there to make my memory work again. The doctor said we shouldn't tell anybody about it, because some people would try to steal it from out of my head and copy the technology."
An alien chip in her brain. The implications made Fern's heart flutter.
As she prepared to turn another page, a girl's voice from the first floor reached her doglike ears. "Hello, Mrs. Prufrock. Is Prunella home?"
"She'll be back in a few minutes," said another voice. "If you want, you can go up to her room and wait for her."
The next sound was of slow footsteps and creaking stairs. I've got to hide! thought Fern. I may be invisible, but she can still run into me!
She glanced around hastily, looking for a good hiding place. The closet was filled with dresses and boxes that once contained dolls and toys. Her only hope was to conceal herself behind the bed.
She tried to replace the diary where she had found it, but her movements were careless, and the book fell over the edge of the desk. Landing on its spine, it fell open to the page Fern had been reading. The tasseled bookmark flew off to one side.
Oh, no! thought Fern anxiously. The footsteps increased in volume.
Then she realized that the fallen diary wasn't the worst of her problems. In her clumsy efforts to stop it from sliding off the desk, she had dropped the invisibility stone. She vaguely recalled seeing it roll under the bed through the corner of her eye.
I'm visible! she realized. I've got to get the stone back! No, there's no time! Must hide!
She raced around the end of the bed, but as she bent her knees to crouch, she saw a pair of eyes looking directly at her through the doorway…
to be continued