Finishing

***

My weight improved for the first week. I like think that daily doses of Alex were helping there. Even if the interaction was entirely one sided. It was, I decided, after some deliberation, better than nothing.

The second week it started to plateau. It wasn't up to normal, but it didn't deteriorate. I was getting sick of other people's arbitrary normals anyway.

The talks had finally reached agreement on halting the forced displacements for the moment. Agreed to disagree in other words. At least it let us move forward in other areas.

"Souls must provide free access for humans to the cities. To food, medical attention, schooling, employment. Accommodation should they want it," Alex said uncompromisingly, "and where they want it."

The Souls stared at each other in shock.

"This is provided for Souls, why should it be withheld from humans?" Alex reasoned coolly, "The Souls forced us away from our main food producing areas-"

"We didn't force you, you left!" Endless Burn said. I sighed quietly. Did we really have to go through this again?

"We had to leave against the threat of losing our families, our souls." He stared them down. In the same way, he slowly ground them down on his other conditions.

The souls would retaliate with their own conditions:

"The humans must form a representative government to communicate with the Souls. No action can be taken without discussion from both parties."

It took a whole day to get that sentence agreed to.

"Humans can not be allowed to behave inappropriately. There must be strict controls on human behavior."

That one caused chaos for days.

"That's discrimination!"

"You say you need to be treated differently, and when we do, you throw it back in our faces as discrimination. You can't have it both ways."

"We want the same opportunities, but we don't want to have to leave our humanity behind, have to become Souls, in order to access them. It is not a crime to be human!"

"It will be under this legislation."

"Now that's unfair!"

"Please, can we just focus for the moment on what behavior is acceptable to both?"

Finally we had a collection of statements we could agree to.

"A committee will be assembled to investigate the matter of criminal law," Melts Blue Ice read out, "Until such time as their findings are known, the original human constitution will be upheld. Further, a code of conduct for behavior in public areas will be enforced."

"Enforcement of laws is to be conducted by an elected group within each settlement according to the following schedule: People can only be punished for behavior that violates agreed pre-existing laws as determined by the elected group." The Souls hoped to avoid prosecution for the invasion this way. I thought it was debatable.

"Expectations of said behavior must be reasonable." I knew there was going to be major arguments about what was reasonable behavior for a human, but the Code of Conduct Committee had been handballed that one.

"The violation committed must be established by an approved process, such as a trial. Punishment must occur after the fact. The punishment must be appropriate for the crime. The perpetrator must understand what they are being punished for. The punishment must decrease the behaviour." The Souls were particularly insistent on the last point, fearing useless punishments that only extended suffering.

"Human-only settlements have the option of recourse to Seekers should either the aggrieved or the accused party wish."

Melts Blue Ice continued reading until the document was read through in its entirety, and everyone lined up to sign their name at the bottom. It was done. They had their Treaty.

So, there was no reason for me to see him anymore.

I was torn between lingering, catching every last glimpse of him, and just cutting and running and running.

"You're coming tonight, aren't you?" Diane asked, coming over with Cara in her arms. She had come to witness the historic moment, along with the media crews and others.

"What's tonight?" I frowned, catching at Cara's flailing hands.

"You're hopeless," she said resignedly, "There's going to be a social get together, humans and Souls together, informally."

"Another occasion for him to ignore me," I murmured.

"Or, a chance to be able to speak with him without all of this," she waved her hands round the camera crews, leaders, advisors.

"I don't have anything to wear," I said, chewing my lip. I could feel hope rising and it scared me. Diane led me away.

"You've just got humans sand Souls to agree to an accord, and you think a dress is a problem. That's the most easily fixed problem in the world."

The trick was to find a dress that hid my growing belly. Eventually we found a skirt and top combo that wasn't too dumpy.

We arrived back at the meeting centre after everyone else. Diane went to chat to some friends.

"Go get him," she said, giving me a little push. I wandered through the crowd, holding my breath, trying not to finger my pendant compulsively. Trying to look for him without making it look like I was looking for him.

Finally I saw him talking quietly, relaxed, to Melts Blue Ice, a little way away from the others. You might not get a better opportunity, I thought, and walked slowly closer, reminding myself to breathe.

"How did you come up with Hawkmoth?" Melts Blue Ice was saying.

"That was what my Dad called me," Alex replied smiling, not seeing me, "But I grew up with Alexandr, Alexandrushka… "

"A bit of a mouthful for the school yard, I assume?" Melts Blue Ice guessed, "What did the others call you?"

"Ghost," he said, his eyes shining with amusement, but I was unsettled. Melts Blue was too.

"Ghost," he said doubtfully, "a person already dead who haunts you."

"Yeah, that's what they were trying for, but they thought they'd be clever and find the Russian word. I was more half-russian than half-indigenous back then. Anyway, I don't know what site they used, but they came up with Dukh."

"Duke?"

"Yeah, sort of. Maybe they couldn't pronounce Prizrak. See prizrak means ghost. Dukh means, more like soul, spirit. My parents would have been real pleased that I was going about impersonating The Russian Spirit."

How could he not see me? Maybe this was a crazy idea. What over the past weeks had made me think he would ever want to talk to me again?

"I bet your father would not have been terribly pleased though," Melts Blue Ice said. Alex laughed and shook his head.

"Hawkmoth's father is never pleased," Lena said, laughing, joining them seamlessly, winding her arm around Alex's waist. I froze, staring at it like it was something obscene. I suddenly recognized her voice, her laugh.

They say Russians are good at two things: great suffering and great rulers. He's definitely got a handle on both… I hope I'll have a handle on him soon…

I turned sharply and made for the bathrooms. Maybe there was another reason he hadn't wanted anything to do with me. Lena and Alex? She was obviously beautiful, powerful… and a fighter I thought. But he had never made a move towards her during the talks. Not that that meant anything. He hadn't even looked at me and I was carrying his baby. My baby, I thought fiercely.

I ran the cold tap and drenched my face in cold water. I felt sick, like the world was sliding. My reflection was stock still though, staring back at me, pale, gaunt, eyes like stones.

No, I didn't believe it. Lena was not just strong, she was mean. He couldn't go for someone so mean. Lena and Hawkmoth, maybe. Not Lena and Alex. I don't believe it, I repeated to myself. I splashed some more water on my face, then stood hanging over the bowl, dripping silently, waiting til the dizziness passed, concentrating on emptying my mind, on breathing slowly.

"Hungry Flame?" Diane called from the doorway.

"I'm ok," I glanced at her, then quickly refocused back on the basin, gripping the sides hard as the world slid a metre to the right.

"You really don't look ok," she murmured. I breathed carefully.

"Just a bit dizzy," I whispered, then grunted as a knife like pain cut through my belly.

"Oh Flame!" Diane said, shocked, looking at my skirt. It was being slowly devoured by a sea of blood coming from between my legs. We stared at each other, motionless.