Chapter 10

Legolas

Legolas felt himself falling asleep, and fought it. His king was speaking to him, he couldn't fall asleep!

"It's alright, ion nin. You can rest. You need it. I will be here when you wake."

Those words were all he needed to drift off. Legolas stirred slightly when someone lifted him and tucked him into bed, but was quickly pulled under again by sleep.

When he woke, the sun had moved in the sky, but his father and Estel were still exactly where he remembered. Legolas blinked up at them. "A-ada?"

"I am here, ion nin. Do you need anything?"

"Promise me," he whispered, his eyes slipping closed, bracing for the worst.

"I promise, I will never stop loving you. Don't give me that look, I mean it, and I will not change my mind."

In that moment, Thranduil sounded so much like Estel had in recent weeks that Legolas almost laughed. "Has Estel been giving you lessons?"

"Perhaps. Though I hardly need lessons in how to love my son, only in how to convince him of that."

Legolas nodded. "I'm sorry I'm being so much trouble, Ada."

"You are no trouble, ion nin. I want only your health and happiness. I'm just glad Estel has been able to help you. We will leave for Imladris tomorrow, if you are well enough, and continue the healing process there, for as long as necessary."

"The kingdom –"

"I will leave someone I trust in charge, as I always do. Do not worry for Greenwood. You are more important. Now, the twins and Lord Elrond are eager to see you. I fear Elladan and Elrohir will find some devious way to get to you if I don't let them in soon. May I?"

"Yes," Legolas mumbled, though he tensed at his father's words. More people to disappoint, more people who would in the end only decide they didn't love him.

Thranduil was already getting up to open the door, but Estel remained by his side. "It will be ok, mellon nin, you will see. They will make the same promise Thranduil did, and you know that the twins and Ada always keep their promises."

Legolas did know that, but he could hardly blame them for breaking this one. There was no more time to talk; the door burst open. Elladan and Elrohir hurried in, followed by Lord Elrond. The three of them crowded around his bedside, Elrond grabbing his sons by the elbows, because they looked like they were about to physically pounce on the prince.

"Legolas!"

"We've been so worried!"

"How are you?"

"Do you need anything?"

"Hush, you two, give him a moment to breathe." Elrond gave Legolas a kind smile. "Thranduil has filled us in. I believe we have a promise to make you."

"You don't need to." Legolas found himself suddenly unable to meet the elf lord's eyes. "I'm just being stupid."

"Stupid or not, I will never stop loving you, penneth, I promise. You are as good as a son to me, and that will never change. You understand?"

Legolas squeezed his eyes shut as a few tears leaked out, and allowed Elrond to pull him into a firm hug.

"I promise I will never stop loving you," he murmured. "You will come to believe me in time, I swear it."

Legolas found himself looking to the twins, anxiety rising in his throat. Before he could panic, Elladan spoke.

"As do I, mellon nin. I will never stop loving you, I promise."

"I promise, Legolas," Elrohir echoed. "Nothing could ever stop me from loving you. We will discuss the consequences of your idiocy later, of course."

Thranduil was on his feet at once. "You will not speak unkindly to my son, Elrondion!"

Elrond made a subtle gesture, and Thranduil seemed to check himself from clobbering Elrohir right there, but he was still silently fuming.

Elladan continued his brother's thought as though he didn't have an enraged elven king glowering over his shoulder. "We knew you were dim, Legolas, but even we didn't realize you'd be stupid enough to think we would ever stop loving you."

"But we have a solution! Once we're through with you, we will have fully demonstrated how ridiculous that is. I sent a message back to Imladris, telling them to start preparing things. What was it we ordered again, Elladan?"

"About a hundred toads, a gallon of pink dye with glitter in it, two barrels of stink bombs, fifteen false bows, ten exploding targets stuffed with feathers, five different types of glue, two of which are ingestible…"

Legolas couldn't help it. He laughed. It was the first time he'd laughed in as long as he could remember, and it felt good. Thranduil, who had looked on the verge of bloody murder, stayed his hand at his son's sudden good cheer.

"I will protect you," Estel murmured, his lips twitching.

"The more the merrier! It has been too long since we had you hanging from Ada's balcony by your feet, little brother." Elrohir winked at him.

"Alright you two," Elrond chuckled. "Go plot your chaos, and while you're at it, make sure the horses are ready for tomorrow. I agree with your father, Legolas, we should leave for Imladris as soon as possible. You are of course welcome to stay as long as you'd like."

Legolas nodded. The sooner he got away from the people at the palace, the fewer people he'd have to disappoint with his behavior.

"Thanks, Ada. Now, if you don't mind, Legolas and I have a routine to keep."

"Estel, we don't need to… I have duties here."

"Not until you're better, you don't," Thranduil said firmly. "You do whatever Estel and Elrond tell you."

"Speaking of which, I'd like to hear more about your treatment plan, Estel. It seems like you've done an excellent job so far."

"Sure, I wanted to discuss it with you anyway."

Legolas didn't follow as Estel and Elrond went through his routine and the specifics of what teas the prince was given every day. He was deep in thought, wondering just how much of what he'd heard today he could believe. As desperately as he wanted to believe, he couldn't trust the promises, at least not yet. Maybe with time…

When he next looked up, Legolas found that Thranduil and Elrond had left, and Estel was speaking to him.

"Mellon nin? It's nearly time for dinner. Do you want to eat here, or in your father's private dining hall?"

Legolas would dearly love to keep hiding here with Estel, but he knew his father had been worried sick about him. The least he could do was brave the short walk to the dining hall to share a meal with him. He knew that Estel would have the halls cleared of curious eyes if he asked, but that would be truly pathetic, so he resisted the urge to mention it.

"I'll eat with Ada. It'll be just us, right?"

"And Elrond and the twins, if that's ok."

"I assumed as much. I don't think anything is going to keep the twins away from me, not now that they've finally found me," Legolas admitted, not entirely displeased by the idea.

It should have been simple. Just walk to the dining hall. Of course, things had to go wrong. A number of guards and servants stopped to say how pleased they were that Legolas was back and that he looked to be doing better. He did his best to nod and smile, hoping it was enough.

When Veria, another one of the guards, stopped him, Legolas thought it would be more of the same. Instead of a smile, he was greeted with a snarl.

"It's your fault!" she spat.

Estel immediately tried to get between them, but Veria snatched his arm and flung him away, sending him crashing into a wall.

"My brother died because of you!" Veria shrieked at Legolas. "While you were off on holiday, our patrol was left short, and now he's dead!"

Her words pierced Legolas like a dagger of ice. "I'm sorry," he whispered. "I'm so sorry."

He was vaguely aware of Estel leaping to his feet and making an angry response, but Legolas was already running, running from Veria's accusing gaze. She was right. He only hurt people and got them killed. Who would miss him, really? It would be better for everyone if he was dead.

Estel was running after him, of course, but this wasn't like the last time. Thanks to the regular meals his friend had been forcing on him, Legolas had gained back much of his strength. He leapt out of the nearest open window and ran through the grounds. He knew exactly where he was going.

The enchanted stream would put him to sleep the moment he touched it. All he needed to do was pile rocks in his pockets to make sure he sank, and no one would be able to find him to pull him out before he drowned.

Though he felt terror, Legolas also felt relief. It would finally be over. He'd known all along that he wasn't worth loving, that he should be dead. Trying to bludgeon himself into believing otherwise was too exhausting. He just wanted to rest, wanted it all to end.

Legolas reached the stream and started scrabbling around for rocks. He knew Estel would be close behind him, and the man would do anything to stop him. It only took a few minutes for Legolas to get enough rocks to weigh down a horse. He staggered slightly, struggling to bear the added weight.

If he walked into the stream, he could fall backward onto the bank when he passed out, and that wouldn't do. He needed to get directly into the middle of it. Legolas quickly found a tree with an overhanging branch and dragged himself onto it.

"Legolas, stop! Saes, mellon nin!"

Estel had found him already. Legolas didn't look, but he heard hooves. Oh, he should have thought of getting a horse himself. No matter. Once he was in the water, Estel wouldn't be able to retrieve him, not without killing himself.

"I'm sorry," Legolas whispered, knowing his friend was still too far away to hear him. "I just can't anymore, Estel."

Then he let go of the branch and let himself fall sideways directly into the middle of the stream.

Legolas hit the water with a splash.

He sank like the stones he was carrying. Wait, why was he still awake? The stream was supposed to put him to sleep!

Don't struggle, he told himself firmly, even as his body automatically started to clamor for air. If he could only stay down for long enough, he would drown just the same, whether or not he fell asleep. He just needed to ignore his brain's pleas to take the stones out of his pockets.

The peaceful underwater world was broken by a crashing sound. Another body was suddenly with him, and Legolas' mind flared with panic. What was Estel doing! If the stream worked as it was supposed to on humans, his friend would die.

Estel swam down to him and grabbed Legolas' arms. The prince could have sighed in relief that his friend wasn't falling asleep, but he had no air with which to do so. He shook his head, staring desperately at Estel, pleading with his eyes. No, let me go. Please.

Estel yanked at him and started pulling the stones out of his pockets. Legolas tried to fight him, but his chest was burning and his vision was flickering. He'd been under a lot longer than Estel he hadn't even taken a breath before jumping, as the man no doubt would have. Legolas had in fact expelled all the breath he could.

The last thing Legolas was aware of was his lungs finally giving up and gasping in a breath of water as Estel's hands tore stones out of his pockets.