A/N: Wow I did not expect this chapter to get this long. I think it's our longest yet! Consider this a bonus.
Nagisa's clear blue eyes stared down at him, startling in their intensity. "Say it," he instructed. "Out loud. You know what this means. What the two of us have..."
Yuuji chewed his bottom lip. The wheels turned in his head, as palpable as two gears grinding together. He focused hard, pushing through the thick fog of confusion that threatened to keep him from making any progress. At last, he took a breath and spoke. "The denominator."
Nagisa hid a small sigh. "Not quite. You're almost there, though. Let's try it again."
The tension in the air eased slightly. Yuuji made a muffled noise of disappointment, pencil hanging from between his lips. His head rested in his hands while he stared down at the worksheet before them. Nagisa shifted on his right, opening up a pencil case and digging around inside of it for some new eraser or pen. It was a precious few-seconds-long break. Desperate to think about anything else, Yuuji let his mind wander, his thoughts slowly floating back to remember why Nagisa was here…
Ding-dong.
The sound echoed down the hall. Bouncing between empty walls and impeccably arranged furniture, the chime of the doorbell pierced through the silence before fading off down the corridor.
Soon afterwards it was followed by the noise of Yuuji's pounding feet.
Yuuji careened down the staircase, stretching one arm out to use the momentum to propel himself around the banister. His socks slid on the floor, but with a few quick footsteps he managed to gain traction. Then there was carpet beneath his feet and he was at the main doors. Yuuji paused to take a breath, the cool metal of the handle resting for a moment in his palm.
He was pretty sure he had never opened the door so quickly in his life.
Nagisa was there, standing on the porch. As the door opened the boy looked down to meet Yuuji, having apparently been staring up at the entryway of the house. He was bright-eyed, with his hair done up in familiar pigtails. Bandages covered some scrapes and scratches on his cheeks, haphazard as if he had slapped them on as an afterthought. "Hi!" he chimed.
Nagisa's eyes stretched even wider after Yuuji let him inside. "It's so big," he said, gazing around. His attention caught on the decorations displayed on the walls, the lights hanging from the ceiling. He seemed to be fascinated by all sorts of little details. "I've never seen a place like this before. The walls are like, three times my height. And you've got so much space!"
Yuuji frowned. He glanced around himself. Tables, vases, and hallways that stretched on way too long along with a sweeping staircase that reached down to their current location. Really? He never thought his house was anything special. Well, maybe it was relatively high-class, but after living here for years you got used to it. Honestly, it could still be a hell-hole.
And yet there was Nagisa, staring at the nearby paintings and digging his feet into the carpet as if it was the first time he had ever felt something like it in his life.
"Echo!" Nagisa called out suddenly, listening to his voice reverberate down the hall. Then he slapped a hand over his mouth. "Whoops, sorry," he muttered to Yuuji. "I didn't mean to disturb. Are your parents home?"
"Nope." Yuuji shrugged.
He could see from the confusion on the other boy's face that a little more information was needed. "They're both still working," Yuuji explained. "Won't be back 'til late. You know, the usual."
"Oh. Okay." Nagisa smiled. "I'll just say this to you instead, then." He bowed his head politely. "Thank you for letting me stay over tonight."
Yuuji waved one hand in dismissal. "No, no, it's no trouble," he assured. "Besides, I still have to pay you back for that one sleepover at your place." Then his gaze wandered up and back, glancing over one shoulder towards where his room was. "And, eh… that thing about me needing help with math wasn't a total lie."
So, yes. A math-tutoring sleepover it was.
The two of them made their way up the staircase, Yuuji taking the lead. Nagisa gawked the entire way up, sticking his head out to look over the railing. "Seriously," he said at one point, "your house is huge!"
Yuuji hid an amused smile. It was cute seeing Nagisa get so excited. Try as he might, Yuuji couldn't resist sneaking a few looks back over his shoulder. Every time he did, he saw the other boy's face lit up with a different shade of excitement. Looking at that, Yuuji almost didn't want the staircase to end.
"Oof," Nagisa huffed as he set his bags down inside Yuuji's room. He had brought only one duffle bag and a backpack, but from the way he stood up and stretched afterward, you would think they had been much heavier than they looked.
"So, where did things start going wrong in math for you?" Nagisa asked.
Yuuji made a pained expression. "You wanna take me all the way back to sixth grade?"
The two of them began preparations, their conversation drifting through a few different topics in the meantime. Yuuji caught Nagisa up on how his winter break had gone, and found out in return that Tubbs the cat was safely back at home and fatter than ever. He asked if Nagisa's second semester was off to a good start, and received nothing but a mysterious smile. The boy simply shrugged and told Yuuji that everything was "the same as usual".
However, Yuuji didn't miss Nagisa's continuing fascination as he finished setting up the desk and studying materials. Even though Nagisa's body was relatively still, Yuuji was pretty sure he had felt the boy's gaze flick around the room, passing it over once, then twice, when Yuuji's back was turned. He wondered if the other boy worked like a sponge—soaking in the smallest details on first pass through any room.
But those thoughts vanished within a second, as Nagisa found the TV. He gasped upon seeing the device, claiming that he had never been allowed to have one in his own room. He seemed similarly captivated by Yuuji's collection of every video game console known to man. Nagisa's fingers twitched as he pointed out some particular titles, as if he burned with the desire to play them right now. The eagerness and jealousy mixing together on the boy's face made Yuuji laugh. It was moments like these that reminded him of how Nagisa was still just a regular teenager.
And now they were doing math problems.
"Alright," came Nagisa's voice, snapping Yuuji back to the present. "I've been looking over the worksheet, and I think I see a problem here that might help you out if we do it first. It's set up kind of differently, but if you can understand how to solve this one then you can use the same strategy on all the other questions. Let's take it from the top…"
Yuuji nodded, taking his pencil out of his mouth and stifling a resigned sigh. Remember, he told himself. You invited Nagisa over. At some point in your torturous, befuddled life, you had actually wanted to do these math problems. Insane, I know!
They settled into the work. Gradually the feeling of time became lost around them as the air was filled with nothing but pencil scratchings and the occasional flip of a page. Yuuji concentrated. His entire world seemed to be filled with the square image of a few sheets of paper and a spread-open textbook. Numbers were input, then output. Write, erase, write. His brain still felt like it was being pushed through a sieve, but at least there was an underlying rhythm to it.
Meanwhile, Nagisa acted as tutor. He was a good coach, it turned out, guiding Yuuji towards the answers while still counting on him to make the final step himself. He gently prodded Yuuji away from common mistakes. And all the while he kept his speech honest, while still being encouraging.
But he was fond of the weirdest metaphors. Nagisa would refer to the problems as "monsters" (not that Yuuji disagreed with that), and called Yuuji's formulas "weapons". In order to destroy the next monster, it was important to use the right weapon. And whenever they would start a new math problem, Nagisa would first have Yuuji decide on his "plan of attack".
Even though the amount of effort that Nagisa was putting in on his behalf was incredible, Yuuji couldn't help but feel awkward. He still messed up, still stumbled in his steps, pencil hanging heavy in his hands like a rifle, doggedly struggling to carry out the orders given to him by a person in higher command. If this battlefield was one that Nagisa had mastered, then Yuuji felt like a new recruit.
But after a while, Yuuji had to admit that it was working.
"Huh. You're pretty good at this, Nagisa," Yuuji said during their next pause. He scratched the back of his head with one hand, holding the worksheet up in order to examine it further. "Tutoring, I mean."
Nagisa blinked at him. "You think so?" The boy shrugged. "That's good to know. Well, I mean, there is one other person that I kind of tutor, so it's not like this is my first time."
"Really? That's news to me."
"There's this little girl who goes to a cram school near my house," said Nagisa, his expression seeming to brighten a tad. "The school's a nice place, all wooden and cozy now. Anyway, the girl's name is Sakura, and I meet with her about twice a month for math tutoring, or whatever else she needs."
Yuuji stared back at Nagisa. "Huh."
Yuuji couldn't find the words for it, but he was deeply impressed. This boy standing there—in his light blue jacket and arms folded politely over the pencil case held against his chest—how much time did he actually have in a day? With everything Nagisa had to do in terms of schoolwork, and then personal time, and managing to see Yuuji on the side…how did he work all that in? How did he still have time left over? And what's more, how did he choose to use that time to help others?
Yuuji wished he could respond. But suddenly, nothing seemed to be worthy. He had never needed to express this sort of feeling before, and Yuuji was pretty sure that it was complete awe.
Briefly, Yuuji felt a small stab of guilt for being another drain upon Nagisa's time. Quietly, he frowned. How did the boy manage to come see him so often? It was a mystery. Well, Nagisa had always been an incredible person. And if Nagisa seemed to be alright with it, then Yuuji would give whatever paltry gift his company could be. Still, silently he resolved to do better.
Nagisa nodded in reply. Then something seemed to occur to him. An anxious expression came over Nagisa's face as he waved his hands frantically, as if to dismiss some idea. "But really, I could never do this long-term!" Nagisa said. "Tutoring isn't the same as teaching. Th-that takes a ton of hard work and dedication. You need good people-skills, plus there's a ton of qualifications-"
Yuuji chuckled. He turned back to the worksheet. "If you say so. Still, having you here really cuts through the tension…"
"Cut?" Nagisa blinked. He stared down at his hands, gaze lingering on their outstretched fingers. "Hmm…"
He snapped out of it once Yuuji prompted him, and together they returned to math work.
It took a good hour or so, but finally the worksheets were vanquished of every last monster within their pages, and Nagisa the tutor announced that they were finished. Yuuji flopped back in his seat with a groan of relief, letting his arms dangle over his head. Nagisa gave a small laugh beside him.
Yuuji listened while Nagisa asked him to summarize a few key points from their session. Straining his thoughts through what felt like a wall of cotton, Yuuji managed to mutter out an acceptable answer.
Then, and only then, they were finished. As a reward, Nagisa let them turn to video games.
"This is so cool!" Nagisa exclaimed.
Buttons tapped beneath Yuuji's hands, clicking at a pace rivaled only by that of the boy beside him. "Yeah, the new updates are really great. I've been waiting for this expansion pack to come out for a while."
The two of them leaned in slightly toward each other, hunching their shoulders to follow the motion of their characters on-screen. They stayed caught up in the frantic mashing of their controllers. Every once in a while, their arms would nearly brush.
"You know," Nagisa said as his character sent forth a combo attack. "Video games can enhance reaction speed, and other things like quick decision-making. Some of my friends told me that."
Yuuji laughed. "Really? Great, then we're still studying."
Something ghosted through the pit of his stomach. It was a strange feeling, like an intangible penny had dropped. Yuuji blinked over at Nagisa. "Umm…what else could we study together?"
The other boy stopped. Nagisa set down the controller to look at Yuuji. His face was blank. Then a coy smile spread across his features. "Well," said Nagisa, his tone lilting up at the end. "I guess there is something else…"
He turned and looked behind them. "We could draw," he suggested, "that's always a backup option. Or learn the ways of every card game known to man. Or, if you really want, we could get started on studying some chemistry…"
Yuuji stared for a moment. "Uh, well yeah, sure," Yuuji said, feeling as if he had just been shaken awake from the beginning of some kind of dream. "I guess I meant that. One of those things."
A buzzing sensation went off inside of his pocket. Yuuji pulled out his phone and checked the time.
He stood suddenly. "Wow, what a coincidence!" Yuuji said. Was it just his imagination, or was his voice slightly higher than it should be? "It's dinnertime. My mother should be home by now, so, um, do you want to go downstairs and see what we have?"
Nagisa smiled happily. "Sure!"
He got up and made his way out of the room. Yuuji followed behind, trying to keep his pace steady. He let out a breath that he hadn't even realized he'd been holding. What the hell? Yuuji scratched the back of his head. What had that all been about?
This was all very confusing.
"So, you're the same age as Yuuji? How wonderful."
"It's my pleasure, ma'am."
Yuuji, his mother, and Nagisa formed a small circle around a delicious-smelling assortment of dishes resting in white ceramic containers. Yuuji's eyes roamed over the table, silently debating what to reach for next. The kitchen staff had done a good job this evening. Well, of course this was from the kitchen staff—if his mother had elected to do the cooking, then he would have nothing but burnt crumbs to offer Nagisa instead.
Yuuji's mother smiled at them from across the table. She was a petite woman, wearing a high-fashion shirt and a pencil skirt currently hidden by the billowing tablecloth. Her black hair was in a daring new cut, her skin aging but still fighting against that inevitability due to a rigorous daily treatment of creams and tonics. A few rings inlaid with jewels twinkled on her fingers while hanging earrings flashed every time she turned her head.
"So, my son has been telling me you attend Kunugigaoka Academy," she spoke to Nagisa after their conversation had gone on for a bit. "That's a very nice school."
Nagisa swallowed his bite of food. "Yes, ma'am," he said, voice bursting with pride.
She smiled. "You must be so proud. It's the kind of school that we might have even considered sending Yuuji to, were it not for the distance. I've heard great things about their facilities, and the elevator system is always a delightful bonus. Tell me, what's it like being a student there?"
Nagisa scooted some more rice onto his plate. "I'm in the E class."
Yuuji's mother's eyes went wide. "E…class?" Her grip slipped on the stem of her wine glass just a tad.
Oh boy… Yuuji felt his stomach sink. Here we go.
Of course his mother had heard of Kunugigaoka's unique policies. Pretty much everyone had, to a certain extent. All private schools had their quirks, but Kunugigaoka was unique among middle schools for having so much so deeply ingrained in its structure. Since it was among the top schools in the nation, naturally people talked about its arrangement.
The student body was said to be sorted not only by year in school, but by skill level, comprising Classes A-D respectively. It was said that this gave students more time to get one-on-one help from others at their skill level, and encourage them to all reach for the top together. The idea was apparently based off of some idea from their Board Chairman: something to do with a "worker ant ratio" that allowed for optimal results in student-achieving potential.
Not many people talked about their E Class program, however. In fact, it wasn't even part of the regular promotion for the school—all Kunugigaoka ever seemed to talk about was it's A-D system. Most people saw the existence of an E Class as a waste—why bother to pay private school tuition if you weren't getting much out of it? But status was a weird thing. And many adults seemed to think that a low-tier education at a prestigious school was better than an average-tier education at a no-name school, anyway.
"E class?" Yuuji's mother asked again. "You mean the 'E as in…End'?"
"Yep." Nagisa said.
"I…I had no idea." Yuuji pretended he didn't notice his mother's gaze flick meaningfully to him and then back. "Well, then. I'm sorry to have asked so suddenly. I assumed-"
"Oh, no," Nagisa said. "It's fine. I actually love going there."
"Really?" Yuuji's mother sounded interested.
Nagisa nodded. "It's true that we're a smaller class compared to the others, and it's kind of hard to move up," he said. "But honestly, none of us are really interested in that anymore. We'd all rather focus on what we're doing now, in our own classroom. We've learned so much in this year alone, the teachers there are…outstanding, and every day has been tons of fun. Our skills get sharper every day. More amazing things have happened to us since the start of this year than I could possibly count, and I think that's a good thing. Everybody in my class has some kind of talent, some kind of neat ability they can bring to the group. I've learned so much from being with them."
"Our…facilities might not be like the ones in the main building, but they get the job done. And it all helps to bring us closer together." Nagisa wiped one hand on his napkin, looking extremely self-satisfied. "Honestly, I wouldn't give up the people that I've met there for the world."
Yuuji hid a grin. There it was. He knew that Nagisa was proud of who he was and of his classmates. The expression on his mother's face right now was priceless.
"I see," said Yuuji's mother at last. "Well. I suppose their system is worth the hype, then. It's good to know that anybody can have fun and study successfully, no matter where they are. In fact, if you're the one coming over to our house to teach Yuuji mathematics, perhaps he could learn a thing or two about that…"
Yuuji groaned in protest. "Mo-oom."
When he next felt the prickle of Nagisa's gaze on him, Yuuji rolled his eyes. Off to the side, Nagisa stifled a giggle.
"'Kay Mom," Yuuji called as he set one foot at the bottom of the staircase. "I'm going back upstairs with Nagisa."
Yuuji's mother nodded. "Of course. Have fun," she said. A brief frown crossed her face. "Just as long as you two really are studying up there."
"Mooooooom, I told you, that's what Nagisa's here for," Yuuji whined.
His mother just nodded, waving one hand in sendoff.
As soon as they got back up to his room, Nagisa sat Yuuji down at the desk again. He claimed that they needed to revisit the math problems, saying that taking a break and then briefly reviewing the information made it stick three times better in one's head.
Yuuji was pretty sure a person could power a small generator with all the agonized feelings of Augh, why trapped inside him, but as his pencil moved smoothly over paper, he begrudgingly admitted that it was good review.
As he worked, Nagisa shifted beside him, moving into a better position so he could look over the textbook they were using. The sudden decrease in distance made Yuuji's breath hitch. All of a sudden, the blue-and-white shape of the boy in the corner of his eye seemed to take up more of his attention than the paper on the desk. If Yuuji concentrated, he thought he could just barely feel the warmth coming off Nagisa's skin.
"You'll want to be careful of the negative sign here," Nagisa said, stretching out one arm to point at the paper. His shoulder eclipsed Yuuji's for a moment.
Yuuji nodded roughly, ignoring how their clothes brushed together.
As Yuuji jotted another note down, he was suddenly aware of how big these rooms were. Nagisa had been right, having noticed it during his short walk through the house. The rooms in Yuuji's house were huge, and these walls spaced so far apart, with nice plush rugs covering the floor, so it was very likely that no one would be nearby, and they were practically completely alone up here, nobody could hear them…
He shook his head to clear away those thoughts.
After bending over the textbook, pencil in hand, and scooting his lap fully up against the desk, doubling-down on the concentration, Yuuji finally brought their math work to a close.
It was past midnight.
Yuuji woke and he didn't know why. It was late. The world all around was dark. For a single moment he felt the flutter of a breeze against his cheek, and realized that it must have felt like a touch.
He sat up, rubbing at his eyes with one hand. The soft covers of his bed nested in the shape he had left them. All was calm and quiet. Yuuji looked over to check Nagisa's bed. When he saw that the futon was empty, Yuuji was up like a shot. His arms jerked as he felt the urge to rush downstairs and find the boy, stop him, protect him from something, before Yuuji finally remembered where they were. They were in Yuuji's house. He was in his own home.
A dull shaft of moonlight caught Yuuji's eye.
He turned. The long curtains that covered the room's floor-to-ceiling windows were blowing slightly, fluttering at their leftmost edge. If Yuuji stood still for a moment, he could feel the touch of chill night air.
He padded across the room, floor feeling cold as ice beneath his bare feet. Slowly, Yuuji brushed past the curtains and pulled the glass door open a few centimeters.
There he found Nagisa, sitting on the spacious balcony outside the window. The boy sat cross-legged. He had brought some kind of notebook and a small telescope with him, the machine's lens currently angled up at the stars. Nagisa was looking through it, pausing every once in a while to jot down a few notes and frown. He appeared to be in deep concentration, his phone lying on his knee, the screen busy.
When Nagisa noticed Yuuji watching, he jolted in surprise. Nagisa immediately grabbed his phone, hiding it from view. "Ah! Umm…I…just…" he stuttered. Nagisa gestured up at the sky weakly. "It's just that the night sky is so clear above this neighborhood, so I…well…"
Yuuji did not respond. He stood in the crack between the glass doorframe and the wall, pajamas rumpled, face solemn, hair disheveled. His eyes squinted through the darkness. He didn't say a word.
Then Yuuji turned, disappearing back inside. He threw open the curtains with a soft rush. Then, he pulled back the glass door. Its quiet squeaking sounded only for a moment before it completely withdrew behind the other windows.
Nagisa stared from his place on the balcony. Yuuji had created a direct path between his bags inside and the dark outside rooftops.
"Yuuji…what are you doing?" came Nagisa's quiet voice.
"Go on," Yuuji mumbled, his voice still heavy with sleep. He pointed back towards Nagisa's equipment on the balcony. "Your friends need you, right? That's what you brought all those things for."
"I won't tell," Yuuji continued. "I'll just say that you left early in the morning if my parents ask."
Yuuji scratched his neck sleepily with one hand as a single yawn escaped him. He stumbled back to bed. Once Yuuji reached the bedside, he collapsed into the sheets and wrapped himself up until he was nice and warm again.
Everything after that was only sound.
Click. Creak. Nagisa's footsteps inside the room. Tmp. Things being carefully packed away. The quiet whisper of a bag being dragged closer.
A muffled zip of something being sealed closed. Tmp. Shuffle.
Shff. Just as Nagisa's footsteps reached the window, the sounds paused.
For a few moments, nothing happened.
Then there came the soft sensation of a hand touching Yuuji's hair, light and delicate in its gesture, resting there almost lovingly.
Then the warmth and pressure withdrew. After another few moments stretched onward through the darkness, Yuuji heard the curtains swish closed.
He slept.
Afterword: Whoo! I daresay that's about as 'intimate' as things will get for the boys within the span of this fic. :D They're both underage for one, and Yuuji definitely doesn't have things fully figured-out yet, but consider this a bit of a tease. However, in the future…
Please leave a review and let me know what you think!
