I finally used my beta- a fact for which we are both grateful ^^ She helped me so much. So thank you Kinthinia!!
Other than the delay- for which I apologize my OCD bothered me for days- I hope you enjoy this chapter. Peace, love and your own male harem ;)
I disclaim.
Please tell me if you like it!
~Mari
Have you ever seen the world at dawn? Not many people have, mainly to do with the fact that most people find it more beneficial to be asleep at dawn, but I'm not complaining. I don't think I've ever had a full night's sleep. There's something hypnotizing about looking outside your window, it gives you time. Time to think.
You know that weird kind of half asleep state you can find yourself in sometimes? Where you're asleep, but you're aware that you're sleeping, and therefore it is doubtful you actually are sleeping but are just kind of floating in limbo-land until morning? Do you ever get that?
It's okay if you don't. It may be something totally unique to myself. But for the last two nights since Tuesday I hadn't really slept properly. Understandable. But I was running myself ragged.
Even going to the Host Club was a chore, kind of. But there was no possible way I was staying away. Not since Renge came. I apologize if your name is 'Renge' and I've just made it sound like something dirty. But gosh- I'm only human. When another girl publically announces- with no reserve whatsoever- that she has designs on your fiancé's body, you tend to get quite defensive.
And jealous.
And paranoid.
'Platonic' my ass. I sighed, I'd passed all hope of 'platonic' a long time ago. You don't pay so much attention to someone you only have 'platonic' feelings for. And dammit, that near-kiss back at the hospital actually made my blood pressure rise whenever I thought of it. If that wasn't evidence enough of my decidedly non- platonic feelings- what was?
Then there was father. I beg your pardon, but that is quite a personal subject to me. Speaking to a faceless audience on the subject is something I've been trying to, you know, work up to. Not that everything else in here wasn't 'personal'. In fact I'm going to be talking to you about things that are far more 'taboo', I suppose could be the word, but I digress. Father's trial was on air in fifty-two countries. Gaining almost as much coverage as that Michael Jackson trial a few years back. Probably a bit less because, you know, he wasn't exactly the king of pop.
Just of corporate life as we now know it.
Do you understand now? Why the 'scandal' was such a big deal? Let me put it this way, how many companies do you know of who are so diverse they own restaurants and cinemas and holiday resorts and schools and various other manufactured food and clothing products?
Exactly.
But I didn't want to think about it then. I'd been thinking about it since I'd seen the first newspaper headline. And while I didn't consider myself the type of girl who mooned obsessively over the boy she happened to like, but I understood the value of distraction. If what it took to get my life back on track was asserting my 'claim' over my (almost) husband like a freaking Neanderthal- then fuck it. I was willing to do anything at that point.
Chiharu and I spoke about it the night before an decided against going through a massive wardrobe change in case it took away from the general effect of Saturday night. But I was going to get rid of the hat when I went to school in the morning. What could they do that they hadn't done already? And anyway, with Ohayashi and that law suit- not many teachers were likely to want to get on my bad side considering how much I was suing her for. Now please don't be like Haruhi and try to convince me to 'pity' her in any way. I hate the bitch. Case closed.
Yes? We're agreed? Good. We understand each other.
Make-up…? No. It's not me. It would send big red flags up in Kyoya's mind immediately. Not something I wanted really. He was smart. He'd already figured out I was jealous. But how do I at least make him take notice of me as more than his secretary? I'd put myself in that position, yes- but sometimes being seen as a woman is more important than being seen as a valuable 'asset'. Well I'd show him my 'assets'… God. I can't believe I even thought that.
It would make me laugh, the way I was acting. I had laughed when in the past I'd seen girls acting like this. You know, the whole jealous girlfriend 'he's mine biotch' kind of thing. I find it the easiest source of school humor. But when it's you- it's different. It seems serious. And I know my situation was drastically different in that for better or worse I was marrying the guy anyway- but you still want to know that you're at least attractive to your significant other. You know?
Am I just babbling? I suppose I might be. I smiled at the huge empty room and moved back to the bed. In less than a year, it wouldn't be so empty. Or lonely. The thought warmed me.
You know I heard somewhere that they kind of music you listen to is an indicator of the type of person you are. Classical music for intellectuals, Jazz for laid-back people, pop for bubbly people etc.
I think that's complete bull. There was some kind of Host Club 'video shoot' going on when I went up to the music room after school. I understood that the general concept was to cater to various masturbatory fantasies of the various Ouran female clients. I stuck in my i-pod and blared Fifty Cent. Yeah, I like rap. Not what you were expecting, yes? Renge was busily directing and squealing and batting her eyelashes at… at my fiancé dammit.
"Mel?" I blinked up at Haruhi, she was genuinely concerned, I think. Past 'hello', I hadn't said a word really.
"What's up?" I smiled. Forcibly.
"You alright?" She sat down next to me and tilted her head to the side. Like a puppy. She was cute, I understood Tamaki's infatuation. I grinned impishly.
"Perfectly fine. Are you alright?" She squinted in confusion.
"Why wouldn't I be?"
I inclined my head to where Renge was, quite smoothly flirting with our clueless president. Haruhi blanched. I laughed out loud.
"Exactly." I attempted to stifle my chuckles by covering my mouth with my hand. No dice. She simply stuck out her tongue at me.
"She's a nice girl." Haruhi grumbled. "Just-"
"Stop right there." I interrupted. "Don't try and rationalize it. I've tried. Doesn't work. You'll just give yourself a headache."
"I don't like Tamaki that way." She looked at me stubbornly.
I blinked at her. "Sure you don't."
"There's absolutely nothing between us." She tore grass up out of the ground. I stared.
"I never said there was."
"I know he flirts with me- but he flirts with everybody. There's no guarantee that he actually means what he says."
I touched the hand that was murdering the perfectly groomed lawn. "The grass didn't flirt with Tamaki, Haruhi."
She looked at me and shrugged helplessly. Her eyes were downcast and I realized that perhaps we had far more in common than I'd ever thought. Making a snap decision- I loved those- I slipped off my shoes and extended my hand to her. She took it and stood.
"What?"
"Have you told anyone that I know about… your situation?" I asked, a daring idea entering my mind. She shook her head, 'no'. "Good." I said. And grinned. "Come closer for a minute."
Eyebrow arched, she followed the instruction none-the-less. I whispered my hare-brained thought and pulled back, biting my lip. She looked at me and grinned. It was underhanded. Sly. Totally unfair.
Utterly perfect.
Jealousy can make you do strange things. It's been the drive behind wars, broken families, been the incentive behind murders and, just sometimes, some of the greatest love stories in human existence. It can make two girls 'in crush', band together against the rest of the world, and assert their independence over their male counterparts successfully.
Of course the boys would assume Haruhi was a lesbian, but she didn't have a problem with that.
I picked up my shoes in my right hand and passed her my other earphone. It was a sunny day, there was no rush. And if these boys expected to take their shit lying down then really, they were far more idiotic than we gave them credit for.
Renge was in the middle of a mental fantasy wherein Kyoya was professing his undying love for her when I decided that I couldn't take it anymore. I was pretty much pissed off enough by the time she was detailing their 'future together' to attempt anything. Start slow. Don't charge right in there with the whole damn chicken.
"Haruhi, you look hot. Too much sun?" I asked innocently. Renge stuttered and I got a few looks. Particularly from Tamaki who had actually stopped mid-sentence. To Haruhi's credit she didn't react much. Just looked up slowly.
"Yeah. I think it's this shirt actually." She said, and tugged at the collar. I got up from my place on the ground and stood in an unnecessarily fluid motion. I stepped in front of the camera and peered at her face, finger under her chin.
"You look flushed. I'll go get you something to cool you down."
You know there is a way to make anything sound provocative. Bite your lip and lengthen the vowels a little. Look your target up and down and you get your point across pretty well too. Somewhere in the background Mori choked on his saliva. I fought the urge to grin and stepped out of the frame to let them get on with it.
To the side, where all the camera equipment was set up there were drinks and things. Fruit and sandwiches and pastries. I smiled. Perfect. They couldn't have made it easier if they'd tried. I saluted Renge's foresight. I picked out a can of Sprite and poured it in one of the champagne glasses- because everyone knows that anything in a champagne glass is just sexy- and picked out half a kiwi, some peach slices and segments of orange. Of course in Ouran Kyoya couldn't simply have sprung for the paper plates. I smiled and shook my head, it had to be ornamental china.
Haruhi left the set and loosened her tie looking at me with the biggest 'come get me' stare I've ever seen. I was taken aback for a minute before I remembered what we were doing, and the fact that while her eyes were most definitely 'smoky' they were also laughing so much I was surprised nobody else noticed. I padded towards her in my bare feet and stood in front of her. Just a little too close. She turned and tilted her head at me. Even closer.
I offered her the glass. Haruhi took it and sipped it delicately, not breaking eye contact. I bit my lip. Don't laugh. Don't laugh. Oh God… I suppose the little giggle could be considered flirtatious. If I twirled my hair like this. And held myself like that- just coy enough to be interested without being annoying.
"Haruhi?" Someone's voice broke. So Hikaru had finally noticed. And Kaoru too as it seemed. The basketball they held between them had fallen somewhere off to the side. I almost cringed when I saw their closeness, and then realized we were likely doing the same thing. And besides, wasn't I just recycling what I'd watched them doing over the past few weeks? Where else would I learn how to 'seduce' someone? The twins were experts at the sexual tension thing. Unfortunately for me. But it was a learning experience.
"Yes?" She asked calmly. God, she really was close. I actually felt her breath across my cheek.
"W-what are you doing?" Hikaru asked, blinking to make sure he was seeing what he thought he was seeing. Kyoya adjusted his glasses and scribbled something down in his notebook. That could mean any number of things. Damn. Too good at hiding his feelings. Bastard, I thought fondly.
"Taking a break." Haruhi said, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. I fought the urge to laugh. Who knew what a great actress she was? Well… I suppose she had the whole 'don't let anyone figure out your gender' thing going on so she must have some practice.
"Oh." Kaoru squeaked, face flushing a vibrant red. Payback is so, so sweet.
"You're right. It's so hot out here." Haruhi turned back to me. Fiddling with the top button of her shirt and 'failing' to unbutton in dismally. It was suddenly quiet enough to hear the rustle of the fabric in my hand. Somewhere, someone swallowed.
"You need help with that?" I asked huskily. My voice was husky with amusement, but it's not like they knew that.
"Please." Haruhi agreed. So I reached up and slipped the first three buttons out of their holes. On tip-toes so I was a little closer to her face. One and two and look up through your eyelashes and smile. And listen to the sweet, fulfilling sound of many jaws hitting the floor.
Haruhi smiled and brought my free hand to kiss it- a very 'Tamaki' move- and I simply stared at her coolly. Courtesy of Kyoya's repertoire of seduction techniques. You tend to pick up a lot when you're around that much innuendo and charm all day long.
"Haruhi…" I sighed, inclining my chin upwards. Her hands wrapped around my waist and, tugged me closer to her and…
"I think that's quite enough for today." Kyoya said matter-of-factly directing a camera crew who seemingly came out of nowhere. "Melinda, we have to go and get fitted for our costumes."
I looked at him. Blinking rapidly and trying to ignore the fact that for a minute back there I'd seen Kyoya's face instead of Haruhi's. She seemed dazed too. Confused and kind of… horrified. I smiled first, seeing the humor in what we'd just tried. Oh God- were we insane? I giggled, a soft unassuming sound which soon turned into full blown laughter. Tears of mirth were spilling out of Haruhi's eyes.
And everyone around us was utterly confused.
"Later sexy." I winked and sent her into further peals of laughter. I clutched my sides and fell over. Then got up quickly as I realized that it was actually rather important to get myself together for the costume fittings. I took several futile deep breaths.
"I… hehe… I need to g-grab my bag really quickly. I'll be back." I addressed Kyoya and walked away, body trembling a little. My bag was inside the actual school and I trotted back in my bare feet, holding up the large, cumbersome skirt of my school dress. The marble- imported of course- was cool under my feet, it didn't help that the wind was blowing through and making it cool even further. It was white, I'm not sure where exactly from, with veins of blue and brown running through the stone. The doors were always open until around seven each night so the fact it was five o' clock and most normal schools closed at three didn't made any difference whatsoever.
It didn't, except I hadn't left my bag in my locker- but in Kyoya's. Which was fine and all. But I had failed to take into account the fact that whoever trashed my locker on the regular would know where his was too.
Unfortunately they had not taken into account that Kyoya was Kyoya and therefore would have a far superior security system than a simple lock and key. I stared at the charred spot in front of the locker and absently swiped the card he'd given me in front of his 'lock'. I really did not want to know.
I grabbed my bag and went outside. So thankful that Kyoya wasn't my enemy. So thankful.
"Are you ready to go now?" He asked me. I blinked. That was a little… terse.
"Sure." I said. And followed him.
Ah… as far as awkward car rides go, I think that one was the worst. For some reason Kyoya was… angry. Yes he was. He was angry. He was murdering the buttons on his Blackberry and snapping short commands at our driver. Quite frankly I wasn't impressed and I didn't know exactly what to make of it. Generally Kyoya was a congenial person. Polite to a flipping fault. I'd never seen him behave so rudely.
At one point I looked at him ordering some poor minion to perform an utterly menial task over the phone, and thought he was looking at me. I must've been hallucinating because when the light shifted and the glare was lifted from his glasses I realized he was actually looking at the back of the driver's seat.
I looked back out of my own window and balled my hands into loose fists. No, I wasn't disappointed. Just because I couldn't keep my eyes to myself didn't mean everybody else shared the same predicament.
There are times when it's good to hope. To look optimistically towards the future. And there are times when all that'll get you are burned fingers. Better to be realistic about things like this and realize early on that stunts like the one I pulled today aren't going to get me anything but a lot of speculation.
It's very likely that, given time, I may fall in love with the boy sitting next to me. Given the way I'm feeling now I'd wager it's a very strong possibility. And there's nothing wrong with caring about someone. I think. On the other hand there's also a very slim chance that he actually feels the same. In fact so slim, that I can hardly call it a 'chance'. In a different universe, maybe.
And the sooner I realize this the sooner I can stop deluding myself about his intentions. His first, and maybe his only love is his father's company. I smiled outside of the window. He was going to take over the world one day. I could see it. And I suppose I'll be there too. Right by his side. I'd always be by his side. And I suppose that was alright.
That could be enough for me.
"I said stop it." I was getting a little panicked. The guy looked up from his position on his knees in front of me where he was 'measuring my inseam'. Which apparently meant a lot of grabbing my thighs.
"Darling, I need to do this to get your measurements right."
"I'm not wearing a tuxedo by any means." I said plainly, moving back a little. He seemed to be stumped and I looked to Kyoya who was already grabbing our things.
The tailor was one of those questionably gay guys who wore make-up and all that- not out of any desire to, but because the cliché made it 'okay' for them to touch women. I think he was surprised when I refused his attentions. Honestly, regardless of their sexuality, are you going to let some guy feel your crotch unnecessarily?
And if he was actually gay, wouldn't he be more eager to get in Kyoya's pants?
"Thank you, I believe we'll take our custom elsewhere." Kyoya assertively took my hand, tossed the guy a few yen for his trouble, and we left halfway through my fitting.
We got all the way to the car before I realized two things. We hadn't any costumes and today was Thursday. The thing was on Saturday. And… two red spots blossomed on my cheeks. I hadn't let go of his hand. Or was it the other way around?
No. Stupid though. It was Kyoya. He doesn't do things like 'hold hands'.
"You'd be surprised, the things I do." Isn't that what he'd said that day? But no, I was fairly certain, the only reason he hadn't let go of my hand is because I hadn't. He was too gentlemanly to simply reclaim his hand. I hate when you only ever have one thing on your mind. You project it on everything.
I took my hand back sheepishly. "What'll we do now?"
"Find somewhere else." He said casually as he opened the door for me. My heart thrummed at the gesture, even though it wasn't something particularly 'new'. He always did that. I was just… projecting. Damn. I hope you never have the misfortune to fall for someone who hasn't got a chance of falling back. It sucks, I smiled wryly at the back of the driver's head.
"Melinda?" I looked over as he was in the middle of buckling his belt. "I think I need to make something utterly clear. I'm aware that you and I have perhaps not chosen to get married in the traditional manner but when I make my vows I plan on keeping them." He slipped his glasses off and ran a hand through his hair. Utterly unaware of just how damn sexy he was. I swallowed.
He looked at me in the darkness of the car. It made my breath catch. "So do I." I said. Completely calm and controlled and… of course he heard my voice tremble. His eyes didn't lose any of their intensity.
"However I understand that to make this work for the both of us, it cannot be entirely clinical." He was saying quietly. "I know women Melinda, I've been catering to them for years. You want to feel desired, special. Am I right?" His eyebrow arched.
Oh, he knew he was right. Stupid damn, sexy eyebrow. Very, very sexy eyebrow. I didn't need to reply, but he expected some kind of assent, so I nodded. He wasn't touching me and I felt like I was burning from the inside out. Just his eyes on me. And it was almost too much.
"I don't want you going to other men Melinda. I look after what's mine." He smiled. No smirked. An evil thing that exuded pheromones and made me want to jump him right then and there. And not only because he'd just made it clear that he considered me his. Which should be offensive. But I found it incredibly hard to look past the fact that I was his anything. Oh and he knew. That's why he did it. And just when I was beginning to regain coherency the smirk became a little... dangerous. And no, that did not just raise his sex appeal.
"I don't like sharing Melinda." He said to me with the kind of intensity best reserved for the bedroom. I closed my eyes, regulated my breathing, and tried not to pass out. Breathe in, and out.
Oh I was so screwed. So, so screwed.