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Only Joking
Chapter Ten
Kaydy feverishly scribbled down the last of her notes before her final class of the day was dismissed. To distract herself from her newfound loneliness, Kaydy threw herself completely into her school work, earning herself the spot at the top of her class. She caught herself watching after the twins as they bounded clumsily through the doorway together, laughing loudly at some inside joke they shared. She frowned and tore her tired eyes away from the pair and began shoving her books inside her bag.
"Kaydynce," Remus called from his desk. "Stay for a moment, won't you?"
She obliged and trudged towards him, waiting in silence until the last of the students retreated from the classroom. She dropped her backpack to the floor and leaned her weight against his large oak desk, running her fingers through her long hair. She felt Remus' eyes on her, surveying her for answers she may not willingly give him.
"What is it, Kaydynce?" he asked bluntly.
"What do you mean?" she asked.
"You've become so withdrawn. That isn't like you," Remus noted.
"I've been focusing on my studies, I'm sure you've noticed," Kaydy countered.
"I haven't seen you with the twins lately, or even Miss James," Remus replied.
Kaydy shrugged glumly and picked at a loose thread hanging from the sleeve of her robes.
"Have you spoken to them since Christmas?" Remus inquired.
Kaydy shook her head and tugged her bottom lip between her teeth, attempting to hide its quivering.
"Why not? What happened at the Burrow, Kaydynce?" he asked, worry creeping into his tired voice.
"Everything leading up to Christmas just…exploded," she explained carefully.
"Would you care to talk about it?" Remus asked gently.
"No," she replied simply.
"It's been three months, Kaydy," Remus tried to reason.
"Really? I hadn't noticed," Kaydy remarked bitterly.
"Kaydy…" Remus began and Kaydy inwardly rolled her eyes, anticipating his lecture. "Your time here at Hogwarts won't last forever. You must cherish this time. You must savor the relationships you have and keep your friends close. The friendship you've developed with the Weasley boys is extremely special. You mustn't let anything tarnish that. The trouble is, we think we have all this time, time to make mistakes and time to fix them. The truth is, life is…far too short to quarrel with your loved ones, Kaydy. Please, take it from me."
Kaydy tried her best to ignore the fluid rimming Remus' coffee-colored eyes as they grew distant, evidently recalling a time when all of his best friends were by his side. She blinked rapidly and turned her face away from his until she regained her composure.
"I'm fairly certain whatever he did to upset you could not be worth throwing it all away," Remus half-smiled knowingly.
Kaydy gazed into his eyes, wondering how he could be so wise and reflected his smile. She lifted her bag back onto her shoulder and turned to leave the classroom.
"And Kaydynce," Remus called as she reached the doorway.
She turned to face him again.
"You best start eating in the Great Hall again, young lady," he warned.
Kaydy winced slightly and left the room for the night. She obeyed her guardian's wishes and entered the Great Hall for supper after changing out of her school uniform and dropping her bag off in her dormitory. She sat down in a vacant seat at the Gryffindor table and placed a small piece of chicken on her dinner plate. She ate slowly as her stomach, having adjusted to rarely eating, gave a sickening lurch upon every bite.
As more and more Gryffindors filled the table, Kaydy yearned to leave, to escape to her lonely alcove in the library. But under Remus' watchful eye, she continued to nibble on her chicken and sip her pumpkin juice. She sat in silence, glancing every now and then down the table to the area she normally would sit with her old friends. The four redheads laughed loudly between bites of food, the bushy haired girl shook her head in disgust, and the boy with the rimmed glasses chuckled halfheartedly at their antics. The blonde, however, was very quiet and her large blue eyes drifted towards to oversized doors, eventually falling on Kaydy. As their eyes met, Haley's sparked to life, while Kaydy's turned even sadder. Deciding she'd eaten enough to satisfy Remus, Kaydy rose to her feet and left the dining hall.
She did not go to the library that night, and she had hoped Draco would not wait for her for too long. They had spent the past two and a half months researching and still haven't found anything that revealed Kaydy's past, or her true family. Kaydy was growing increasingly frustrated and she needed a break from all the disappointment. She only hoped Draco would understand.
She sat alone in the far corner of the Gryffindor common room, flipping through the pages of the latest quidditch magazine. Her eyes lazily scanned the pages, but she could barely even feign interest. She drummed her nails against the table, finding comfort in the loud clicking noise that echoed through the dimly lit room. She had become unhealthily accustomed to silence unless Draco was around.
"Damn you, Fred! She's my best friend and I want to talk to her again!" a familiar voice shouted as the portrait hole banged open.
Kaydy flinched at the breech in silence and kept her eyes focused on the page.
"I've had enough of this! If you have an issue with her, that's your problem! I've let you manipulate me into shunning her for far too long. I'm going to talk to her, and if you don't like it, you can go to Hell!" Haley yelled storming away from the identical redheads.
Kaydy daringly lifted her eyes ever so slightly, just enough to see both of the boys watching Haley walk away from them. The blonde neared Kaydy's deserted table and the twins' hazel eyes fell on the brunette. She was surprised to see that they both looked equally pained until one pulled the other towards the boys' dormitories.
"Kaydy," Haley's voice spoke softly. "Can I talk to you?"
Kaydy glanced up at her before casting her eyes back down and nodding slowly.
"I've been a royal bitch to you, Kaydy, and I'm sorry," Haley said, a slight English accent working its way into her American voice. "I just…I didn't want to mess things up with George by going against his twin. I know that's no excuse. You have no reason to forgive me, I know that. But I miss you so much, and I would love to be friends again."
"Okay," Kaydy said quietly.
"Okay?" Haley asked uncertainly.
"Yeah," Kaydy whispered. "I've missed you too."
"I'm so sorry. I know it must have been really hard dealing with all of this alone. I should have been there for you," Haley said sadly.
"Yeah, but it's okay. I haven't exactly been alone," Kaydy replied.
"Malfoy?" Haley assumed.
"He's been great to me ever since…" Kaydy trailed off.
"I'm glad to hear it," Haley smiled. "Everyone's been so worried about you. Harry misses you like mad. He doesn't know what to do with himself without you around. He found out Sirius Black was his parents' friend…and he's the reason they're dead, too."
"What?" Kaydy asked in surprise.
"Yeah. Apparently Black led Voldy to the Potters. It's sad…he's Harry's godfather," Haley revealed.
"No way! Why didn't Remus ever tell me this?" Kaydy asked more to herself than Haley.
"Maybe he doesn't know," Haley offered.
"I'm so selfish," Kaydy cried. "I cut everyone out because I was hurt. Harry needed me, and I wasn't there."
"He doesn't blame you, Kaydy. He blames Fred, if anything," Haley said quietly.
Hearing his name sent a knife stabbing through her windpipe and she inhaled a sharp, painful breath.
"He misses you too, you know," Haley said cautiously. "Fred."
Another blow, deeper this time.
"George has been trying to talk to him, make him see some sense. But he's a stubborn one," Haley continued. "I think he realizes how wrong he was, that he took things too far, and now he doesn't know how to take it all back and fix it."
"I don't think there is any going back, now," Kaydy said solemnly.
"We both know you don't mean that," Haley argued gently.
"It's been too long. We haven't spoken in three months, Haley. It'll never be the same," Kaydy's eyes watered.
"Not right away, no," Haley agreed. "But you're Kaydy and he's Fred. Nothing in this world can keep you two apart forever."
"Only ourselves," Kaydy responded.
"Why don't you just talk to her, mate?" George questioned yet again. "Haley's down there right now with her. You could be too."
"Why don't you go, then?" Fred growled from his seated position at the foot of his bed.
"I will tomorrow, I can promise you that," George vowed.
"She'll forgive you, just like she'll forgive Haley and everyone else," Fred claimed. "Not me."
"Why not?" George asked, propping himself up on a nearby stool.
"Because I actually hurt her," Fred said guiltily.
He pressed the balls of his palms into his eye sockets, rubbing them angrily. He dragged his hand down his face before digging his fingertips into his jean-clad thighs. He shook his head to himself and breathed heavily through his flaring nostrils.
"Did you see the look on her face the night we got back from holiday? I destroyed everything in a matter of fifteen seconds. I destroyed her and I saw it all over her face, gleaming in her eyes. That image has been burned into my mind, haunting me every day since. I let our friendship slip between the cracks of my fingers long before Christmas without even realizing it. I took her for granted and caused her pain, and then I blamed that pain on her. I was wrong, and I know that now, but admitting that, apologizing won't take away the pain I've caused her," Fred said, his eyes stinging.
"But it's a start, Fred," George reasoned.
"Don't you get it?" Fred cried, jumping to his feet. "There's no going back, now! I can't fix this, George! I let too much time pass by to make it better."
"She'll forgive you," George argued certainly.
"She won't," Fred denied, tears dripping down his face.
"Listen to yourself, Fred!" George shouted, his frustration finally bursting forth. "This is Kaydy we're talking about, the same girl who gets attacked by her father every month, and forgives him every single time. The same girl who nearly bled to death after you hit her with a spell meant for Malfoy and forgave you for that. She will forgive you, Fred, you must know that."
"I don't deserve her forgiveness," Fred said somberly.
"That does not matter to Kaydy, Fred. You need only ask, and you shall receive," George said calmly.
"I miss her, Georgie," Fred whispered.
George slung his arm over his brother's shoulder and squeezed tightly.
"I know, mate," George whispered back.
"A werewolf?" Haley breathed, her eyes large as saucers.
"Yes, and I'm an animagus," Kaydy repeated, watching fear and wonder sparkle in Haley's blue eyes.
"And you follow him? Are you insane?" Haley squealed.
"I had to protect him," Kaydy defended. "Used to, anyway."
"You don't anymore?" Haley questioned as she crisscrossed her legs beneath her.
"Remus forbade me from following him anymore since my time in the hospital wing," Kaydy explained.
"He put you there?!" Haley shrieked.
"Shush!" Kaydy urged. "Yes, I followed him and we battled for a while."
"That explains those nasty gashes all over your body. I knew Fred couldn't possibly have inflicted that much damage," Haley said quietly, now.
Kaydy cleared her throat and nodded slowly.
"I used to brew a potion for him to make the effects of the full moon a bit easier for him to cope with. But after the accident, Remus decided it'd be best for Snape to brew his potion for him," Kaydy said bitterly. "I'm not to follow him ever again."
"I had no idea your life was so…wicked," Haley chuckled.
"I'm just full of surprises, eh?" Kaydy joked.
"You can say that again. So where does Malfoy fit in to all of this?" Haley asked thoughtfully.
"Nobody knows this but the twins, so you can't repeat it," Kaydy began and Haley nodded vigorously. "I've been close with Draco since second year, his first. I don't know what it is about him, really, but I find that I'm drawn to him. I know he can be a royal prat, but I have this feeling that there's more than meets the eye. He has a light inside of him and I'm determined to find it."
Haley's eyes dance across Kaydy's beautiful face. The blonde smiled slightly at her friend and fingered the diamond necklace around her neck.
"I probably sound completely mental," Kaydy mumbled, shaking her head at herself.
"I admire you Kaydy," Haley said softly. "You have a huge heart, bigger than anyone's I know. I may not agree with you about Malfoy, but I suppose he needs someone to believe in him just as much as the rest of us. I just hope he realizes how lucky he is to have you as a friend."
"Thank you, Haley," Kaydy smiled bashfully.
"You're welcome," Haley smiled. "And if he ever hurts you, I'll be forced to wring his neck."
Kaydy laughed louder than she had in months while Haley smiled innocently. After a couple of hours of catching up, the girls trudged upstairs to bed. For the first time in three months, Kaydy slept soundly. With things seemingly returning to normal, Kaydy awoke feeling refreshed and moved less sluggishly around the dormitory as she prepared for her day. After a quick shower, Kaydy left the bathroom with her hair dripping down her bare back. She held her towel tight to her body while she searched for her wand to dry her long locks.
She waved the stick around her head, drying her incredibly long hair into loose spirals. She dressed herself in a new pair of light denim jeans that hugged her slender hips perfectly and a tight pastel blue t-shirt. She pushed her chocolate ribbons over her shoulders, their soft tips brushing her exposed skin at the waistline of her jeans, and pulled her light blue sneakers on to her feet.
"Girl, we have got to get some meat on your bones," Haley said analyzing Kaydy's appearance.
Kaydy smiled timidly and sat down on her bed while Haley got ready. Kaydy applied a line of liquid eyeliner to her upper eyelid and painted mascara on her lashes before patting a small amount of blush to the apples of her cheeks. Haley left the bathroom, tossing her dirtied clothes in the hamper, and laced up her white sneakers. As Haley rose to her feet and parted her lips to speak, a knock on the door interrupted her thoughts and she knitted her thin eyebrows.
"Oh, hi. How'd you get up here?" Haley smiled as she opened the bedroom door.
"Flew my broom to the landing," George replied cleverly.
Kaydy looked away as George's red head popped in to kiss Haley on the cheek. She twisted her fingers together until she was pulled to her feet and engulfed in a crushing embrace.
"I'm so sorry I've been such a git," he rushed. "I've missed you so much. Please be my friend?"
"Can't breathe…" Kaydy choked.
George released her, smiling sheepishly down at the little brunette. She glanced up at him and smiled back before slamming into his chest, wrapping her arms around his waist. George circled his long arms around Kaydy's shoulders and swayed their bodies slowly.
"I missed you, George," Kaydy whispered into his chest.
"I missed you, Kaydy," he replied pecking the top of her head lightly.
"George," Haley said carefully. "We should…go downstairs…"
George released Kaydy from his grip and they both brought their eyes to the doorway.
Kaydy's breath lodged in her throat, strangling the life out of her as she stared into his eyes; eyes so similar to his brothers, and still so unique. She felt her body begin to tremble and, as George gave her shoulders a final squeeze, she worried she may topple over without his arms to support her. She watched Haley and George leave the dormitory silently, shutting the door behind them with a deafening click.
His eyes lifted to glance at her, and hers darted to the floor as she stuffed her fingers into the back pockets of her denim pants. Fred watched her closely, noting how nervous she was standing in his presence. Was she afraid of him? Of what he might say, or shout rather? Or, like him, was she afraid this would be the end?
Fred wiped his sweaty palms against his denim jeans and cracked his knuckles nervously. He watched her rock her weight from one foot to the other, and she was visibly shaking. She tried to hide her quaking hands by tucking them into her back pockets, but he'd already seen.
"Kay," the name felt unfamiliar on his tongue.
She winced slightly. His voice, using his special name for her, made her heart leap clumsily into her ribcage. Her stomach twisted in violent knots and loops over and over again until she felt as though she'd be sick. Her chocolate eyes fluttered closed while she awaited his words.
But he said nothing else. Fred had rehearsed the conversation in his head a thousand times. He memorized the lines he would say to her. He wrote the perfect script, filled with words of remorse and sorrow that would earn her forgiveness. He would tell her how stupid he was and how she deserved a better friend than he; that he was sorry for all the pain he'd inflicted on her; that he missed her, and his life was miserable and meaningless without her.
However, his flawless speech was forgotten the moment he spoke her name. Fred opened and closed his mouth, resembling a fish, but none of the words he had worked so hard to prepare came out. He breathed deeply and pushed his fingers through his shaggy hair, attempting to formulate something of substance to say to her.
"I…Kaydy, I…" Fred stammered quietly. "I don't really know how to…"
Kaydy peeked at him from beneath her thick lashes and watched him nervously twitch his fingers. She pulled her small hand from her back pocket and pushed her soft bangs out of her eyes before twisting a long ribbon around her finger. After inhaling a trembling breath, she parted her pink lips to speak.
"I-"
"I'm so sorry for everything, Kaydy. I was horrid and stupid and cruel, and you have no reason to even speak to me. I know I take you for granted and you deserve a better friend, but I promise I can be better," Fred spluttered. "I should have been there and given you more of my time. It took me too long to realize the distance between us. But now that I've experienced life without you, I know that you're the best friend I've ever had. I need you, Kaydy."
His eyes gazed into hers as he spoke, the hazel orbs piercing through her. The words he couldn't find before slipped easily between his lips once their eyes locked. Fred blinked slowly, reluctant to stop looking at her for even the briefest of seconds. He watched her chest rise and fall rapidly as she let his words soak in. Her lips parted ever so slightly, her plump bottom lip quivered as she breathed. Fred tried his hardest, but he could not ignore the tears filling her beautiful chocolate eyes. As one dripped down her rosy cheek, he yearned to reach out and brush it away, to hold her and make her stop crying.
"Fred," she whispered, the faintest hint of a smile tugging at the corners of her lips.
His name on her lips was all it took. Fred rushed confidently towards her and snaked his strong arms around her body. He held his breath until her slender arms wrapped around his waist, returning his desperate embrace. Kaydy pressed the damp side of her face into his hard chest, soaking his t-shirt with the tears that continued to leak from her eyes. She squeezed him to her as firmly as she could, clutching the thin crimson fabric in her fists while she sobbed. Fred held her to him, molding their bodies together. He leaned his cheek against the top of her head, her sweet scent flooding his nostrils as he inhaled. Fred rocked their weight, slightly swaying them from side to side, until Kaydy's tears subsided.
"I'm sorry," he whispered.
"I missed you," Kaydy whispered back.
"I missed you too, more than you know," he mumbled into her thick hair.
