New chapter! Now, this is where it gets interesting...
Nobody said anything, all of them just looking at Christi incredulously. Secrets are kept for a reason, nobody wanted other people to know.
"Ugh, people are so hard to please." Christi muttered. "Fine! I'll go first, monkey see monkey do, right?"
Christi cleared her throat and waved her arms around. "My big secret," She revealed dramatically, punctuated with a spastic wave of her arms attempting to be theatrical, "My big secret is I..."
"Don't need to wear glasses!" She whipped them off with a dramatic flourish.
"Seriously?" Dean asked, "I think that ol' ghosty needs a bit more than that. Besides, it's only a script, it probably isn't going to help."
"Look, it's the only chance we have, so when you have any better ideas, tell me!" Christi snapped, the whole situation getting to her. Just this morning she had been adjusting her glasses, getting ready for school and now she was spilling her guts so she wouldn't die, and it probably was a long shot anyway, so it's very likely she's going to die with people laughing at her.
"Okay, for real here." Christi said, putting her glasses back on.
"Uh, I really, really, want people to like me. Now," Christi said quickly, seeing Dean roll his eyes again.
"I'm not just saying that. I feel this uh, subconscious need to make people feel, uh, pleased by me and I don't mean that in the weird way. My parents, they weren't around much. So yeah, there's my big stupid, slightly crappy life story."
Haro turned and gave Christi a hug. He smiled, "You're great Christi." She looked down at him and hugged him back.
"Thanks."
Dean started to feel slightly uncomfortable with all the feelings in the room, he was a man dammit! "I get that we're having circle time here, but could we keep that to a minimum?"
"Alright, jeez." Christi said, "You don't need to be so macho about it. I get it, it's okay, men have feelings too." She pouted under her glasses.
"Shut up."
"You first, princess."
"You little-"
"Okay! Next person please!" Jessica jumped in, eager to get this over with. Nobody needed to know her secrets.
"I used to be a whore." murmured Reilla quietly. "For my stepmom. My dad never knew; she would always come into my bedroom at night and tell me to follow her to the basement. Dad was never allowed in the basement. She was scared he would find her out and forbid him from entering her…" She trailed off.
"Go on." whispered Haro, whose face was a mixture of interest and horror.
"Sex dungeon."
It was then Helios' turn to talk. "You're a lesbian?!"
"I'm not a lesbian, but thanks for making me feel like shit. Y'know, because instead of worrying about how I was abused at the time, you worry that my monster of a mom turned me into a lesbian!" Reilla yelled, shaking as tears started to stream down her face.
Jessica came out from her spot in the corner to face Helios with a look of pure hatred on her face. "Stop being rude, Helios. Who cares if she's lesbian?"
"I do! It's inhumane and disgusting! Two women laying with each other? God forbid, two men laying with each other!" He gave Haro a dirty look. "It's not natural! Why should homosexuals get privileges for being... gay!" Helios made a sour face when he said the last word, as if the word itself was a curse.
"Alright, break it up. It's totally fine to be gay. Helios, stop being an asshole." Dean stepped in and gave Helios a glare that shut him up immediately.
"Reila." Jessica said quietly. "I'm sorry."
Reila smiled, "It's okay. You didn't do anything."
"Why would you even continue to have coitus anyway?" Helios' now hated voice piped up.
"Alright, this is what I'm going to do-"
"Stop." Reila's voice rang out, Dean stopped rolling his sleeves up and looked at her.
"You want to know so much, Helios?" She asked. "Here's the answer, I like being in charge, having power, the power I was denied when I was small."
Helios' face went white, then was tinged red with shame. He worked his throat, trying to muster up the courage to say something, but a warning glance from Dean was enough to make him shut up.
"Reila, you're great." Haro said, with utter sincerity on his face. Reila smiled and wiped the tears off her face, for now not caring about the smeared mascara.
There was silence for a moment, then, "Alright! Who's next?" Christi clapped her hands together and spread them wide. "Who's next for this confessional?"
Christi smiled again, but this time it was crueller. "How about you Helios?"
Helios had a look of nervousness on his face. He swallowed. "Me?" His voice wavered.
"Yahtzee."
"I- I do not keep any secrets on my behalf." Helios laughed nervously. "There is nothing to be found from I."
"I don't think so." Dean said, "People say those things when they have something to hide. And you, full on have something to hide."
Helios looked around desperately, "I-"
"Do you want to die or not?!" Christi snapped, Helios jumped and nearly fell over.
Jessica felt bad for the others treating him this way, but she didn't want to see another person die.
"Helios." She said, and Helios turned to look at her almost desperately, like a drowning man looks at an outstretched hand. The hope on his face was almost painful.
"Christi's right." Helios' face fell and Jessica thought it was almost like despair.
"The secret doesn't need to be a big one. Just one that nobody else knows." Jessica said, trying to make him feel better. Even though she didn't really like him, she wasn't that cruel. "Then you're done and we never have to speak of it again."
Helios' face twisted, and he finally sat down, the picture of defeat. "I don't want to." He said, almost childlike in the way he said it. It was the first time he had ever done something non pretentious and Jessica felt worried about what was he going to say.
"Helios-"
"Oh come on! It can't be worse than Reila's!" Christi said, quickly turning to Reila to say, "No offense."
Jessica raised an eyebrow at Christi, "Are you really that insensitive?"
"Excuse me?"
"Everybody's secrets are just as important as the other, no matter whether they stole a cookie or cheated on the SATs." Jessica said, as if it should be obvious.
"SATs?" Dean said, incredulously.
"What? It was the first important test that popped into my head." Jessica defended.
Sam was once again forcibly reminded of Jess. 'Stop it,' He thought, 'You're doing yourself no favors if you keep comparing Jessica to Jess. It would just be weird. She's a kid, grow up.' Self telling off done, he turned his mind back to the conversation.
"So, Helios." Jessica said, once again addressing him. "It's okay. We can promise to never speak of it again, if you want."
Helios buried his face in his hands, not even trying to make himself look composed. "Okay."
"Promise." Everybody said, but Christi did it with her hand over her chest like she was reciting the Pledge of Allegiance at school.
Helios took a deep breath and let it out, trying to muster up the courage to tell them.
'It is so, so I will not be deceased.' Helios told himself, in his old way of speaking. It was familiar and almost made him feel better.
"I-" Helios said and then whispered the rest to himself.
Sam went and sat next to him as well. "It's okay." He said.
That seemed to bolster Helios' courage, and with a deep breath he said, "I- I'm gay." He said quickly, spitting the last word out as if he thought that nobody would catch it.
They did though, and all of them looked at him.
"That's it?" Christi asked.
Helios' face crumpled and it looked like he was about to cry. "My most sincere apologies if I was not able to deliver to your expectations."
Christi's face twisted in confusion, "But, that, that's not a secret, not even a really important one."
Helios stood up suddenly and looked at Christi with a look of rage on his face, "I am deeply sorry, if you cannot comprehend how much it means to I! It is a verily important secret, and if you shall trivialize it so, then I should not have confided so!"
He sat down as suddenly as he stood up. Jessica tried to touch him in a show of comfort, but Helios just pulled away. "Do not touch me. I am filthy."
"Why?" Jessica asked, she couldn't believe that Helios would say things like that about himself. She always had the impression that he was proud of himself, she would have even gone so far to say that if she had to pick one sin to describe him, it was pride.
Now though, it was clear how little Helios thought of himself.
"I- I am a homosexual!" Helios exclaimed, like he couldn't believe that Jessica couldn't understand. "It, it is wrong and filthy and a sin worthy of the depths of hell!" He yelled, wholeheartedly believing every word that came out of his mouth.
He curled up tighter and hugged his knees to his chest. "I am a sin."
"Helios." Jessica touched him, and this time he didn't flinch away. "You're not. You are not a sin. It's not a sin to love somebody, it's not a sin to love somebody of the same gender. Love is love and it should stay that way!"
"Love is when a man loves a woman, or when a woman loves a man." Helios replied, as if he had heard it a thousand times.
"Who told you that?" Reila asked, a look of sympathy and knowing on her face.
She would have gone through a similar thing, Jessica realized, nobody who hadn't been told they were worthless craved power that much.
"Everyone." Helios said simply and with a turn of his stomach, Jessica realized that it was true. None of them had been friends with him and he wouldn't have valued their views. His family however...
"Your family."
Helios nodded. "My cousin, she told and then she was gone."
'What kind of shit family does that? Make somebody repress themselves to the point they hate themselves that much?'Jessica thought hatefully. She would have said it out loud, but Helios obviously thought the world of his family and wouldn't have taken kindly to the thought that they were bad.
Jessica looked around and everyone had some signs of sympathy on their faces.
Except for Dean. His face was curiously blank. Jessica opened her mouth, then thought better of it, ignoring the asking looks Christi gave her. 'Dean can keep his own secrets.' She thought.
"Helios." This time he turned towards her, his face unreadable. "You're great."
Helios didn't make any facial expression, then he whispered very quietly to himself, as if he could make himself believe it, "I'm great."
"You'd better believe it." Jessica smiled.
"Okay, who's next?" Haro asked. Jessica looked at him, a glare about to form on her face, Haro must have caught that, because he very quickly said, "Not that I'm trying to be mean, but the next attack could happen at any moment."
"Okay." Jessica said.
Christi, looked around quickly, her gaze landing on Sam and Dean, the only adults here. She smiled pseudo evilly.
"How about, you?"
She pointed at Dean.
~Cyfir