Yaone let the familiar feel and smell of him fill her senses. The cigarettes, the gunpowder, the oil used for polishing that weapon, his arms wrapped around her back... everything about him was so overwhelming right then she couldn't keep a level head to calmly tell him what had happened. It started as a few hot tears splashed against his bare chest which then quickly dissolved into sobs, her forehead pressed to his warm shoulder. She circled his neck with her arms, pulling as close as she could. And he simply let her do it. She was so worked up it didn't even occur to her how shocking it was that he was letting her cling to him like this.
Sanzo stepped back a pace, pulling her further into the room to shut and lock the door again. He didn't say a word, just let her cry against him, her tears trailing down his chest and stomach, catching a little on the muscles. A few missed completely and hit his bare feet. And still he just let her cry. "E-Everything's a m-m-mess," she cried, arms tightening around his neck. "Every-thing's j-just..."
"You need to stop crying before talking," his voice said near her ear, low and firm, almost commanding her to stop crying. "I can't understand a damn word you're saying like this."
Yaone sniffled, closing her eyes tightly, fingers brushing through the soft golden hair. He continued to just hold her, letting her cry herself out. She had no idea how much time had passed, but slowly she began to regain control of her tears. The choking gasps of breath evened out to shallow ones, her eyes stung badly without the moisture to them and she wasn't as sniffly as when it first started. Slowly, she pushed away from him a bit, keeping her body still in the loop of his arms. Sanzo met her gaze, violet eyes showing nothing at all of what he was feeling. Which meant he was feeling a lot and didn't want her to know. She closed her eyes when his fingertips touched the bruise on her jaw gently, tracing down underneath her lower lip to where her teeth had broken the skin.
"I'm going to go get some things," he said in that same firm tone. "Lie down." He let her go, heading for the door.
She caught his wrist, stopping him. "Please... don't go. I don't want to be alone!"
Sanzo made a slightly derisive sound. "Don't be a fool. I'm just getting gauze and disinfectant. And food. You've lost weight. Now, let go and lie down on the bed."
Reluctantly, Yaone dropped his wrist, watching as he left the room, shutting the door quietly behind himself. She moved over to the bed stiffly, her mind flashing back to one draped over in silk sheets. And that made her think about Zakuro... and what he'd done. It might not have been the physical act of rape, but the results were the same, even physically. Her muscles were strained and aching, and she did have his claw marks on the back of her thighs. The mind inflicting the imagined pain, she mused. She stretched out on the bed, hugging a pillow to her, to wait for him. It was cold... so cold. He'd obviously not been in bed when she came to him. No trace at all of his scent on the pillows. She hugged the pillow tighter, curling her knees up to her chest as far as they could go. Please, hurry back.
>>>>>>>>>>
Hakkai stayed very still in the shadows of the kitchen, the glass of water forgotten as Sanzo snuck in, moving quickly for the cabinet near the back where the inn keeper kept medical supplies. He heard the monk muttering a moment before there was a click and then the light of a flame. He could see his shadow moving as he searched shelves, pulling things off. Was Sanzo hurt? Funny, he hadn't noticed any new injuries on the blonde.
The light went out and Sanzo shut the cabinet again, replacing the slide bolt exactly as he'd found it before gathering up some simple food items and a bottle of wine. Then, just as quickly as he entered, he left, balancing everything carefully.
Hakkai pushed away from his spot, eyebrows quirking downward. Whatever was the matter with him? It wasn't like him to be sneaking around in the dead of night, especially for FOOD! That was Goku's department. Sighing, he finished off his glass of water, mind still racing over logical explainations for the monk's strange behavior and failing to find one that fit with his ascerbic personality. Shaking his head, he muttered, "I give up." He couldn't come up with anything requiring Sanzo to be secretive. Tomorrow morning, he'd go and check on things. If the monk WAS injured, it would be best to have him healed right away so they can start up on their journey at day break.
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Yaone gasped as a hand shook her shoulder, reacting out of instinct to the unfamiliar touch. She grabbed the wrist, yanking the attacker down to bring her palm up under their jaw and inflict some damage.
Except, this attacker anticipated the move and blocked her palm easily, violet eyes going colder than cold for a moment before returning to their usual blankness. She shuddered at the utterly inhuman look (like staring Death in the eye), closing her eyes as Sanzo relaxed his grip on her arm slowly. "Sorry... I'm sorry," she muttered.
"Hmph, whatever. There's a bath for you, and I found some food and wine," he answered, getting up from where he'd been sitting on the edge of the bed.
She blinked her eyes open for a moment. He'd drawn her a bath? The surprisingly kind gesture made her sit up, hissing as her lower stomach muscles pulled tight, aching. She could feel violet eyes watching her from the table, but he didn't offer to help. He was waiting to see if she could do it herself. Slowly, she pushed to the edge of the bed, boots hitting the floor. Her legs were still shaking from the nightmare flashes of memory and it took her a second to let go of the bed frame.
Yaone went over to the closed door where light trickled underneath, assuming correctly that it was the bathroom. She opened the door, blinking as a rush of steam poured out. Closing the door behind her, she saw that not only was a bath waiting, but he'd put the towels over the heater to keep them warm. It brought a little smile to her lips. How very kind of him. She stood in front of the tiled sink, staring at her reflection through the steam covered mirror. She wiped away a good section of it with her hand, revealing her reflection. Her eyes stared back at her with something close to being despair mixed with exhaustion. Dried blood clung to her in certain places... like where he'd bitten down on her neck. She touched the perfect imprint of teeth and shuddered, eyes closing. No more... she couldn't look at herself like this anymore.
She slid down the side of sink, back pressed to the cabinet and drew her knees up to her chest, folding her arms over the top before hiding her face there. Closing her eyes, she focused on keeping her breathing steady...
And woke up again at gentle hands pulling her hair free, unbraiding the tiny pieces. She turned her face up, mere inches away from a face made more beautiful in the soft light in the bathroom. Odd, how even the most unflattering light seemed to make his skin glow. Sanzo glanced down at her and continued to work her hair free. Once it was down and hanging in tangles around her, he started with her boots, moving methodically, and very carefully, to the torn stockings. Her eyebrows furrowed as she let him straighten her legs away from her chest. "What..."
"You've been in here for almost a half hour," he explained curtly. "Since it's obvious you're not going to do it, I will. No way in hell I'm letting you in my bed covered in this shit."
Yaone couldn't help the smile. She undid the chains on her top herself, holding the piece up for modesty's sake. He undid the clasp on the white leather tunic and she pulled one arm away at a time so he could push it off, leaving her in the tight shorts and top. "You can finish this yourself," he muttered, standing up and turning his back to give her privacy.
"This was more than I expected," she whispered, letting go of the top while unlacing the front enough to pull it over her head. Even her breasts ached a bit.
"And what exactly did you expect me to do?" he asked, sounding almost angry. "Tell you to leave when it's obvious you can barely undress yourself?"
"I didn't mean-," She stared at his back, the muscles bunched fiercely around his shoulders.
"-You're acting like I'm some heartless prick. Get in the bath already." The door slammed shut after him.
Yaone's jaw dropped as she continued to stare after him. She hadn't meant to make him angry. That was the last thing she wanted to do! But why? Why did he react like that to such simple words of gratitude? She thought about the conversation (if that's what it could be called) again, replaying the whole thing over. The only reason she could think of for him to get angry was...
If he really did care for her.
If that was the case, then she could see how her words would have offended him. Sanzo was trying to act like a... like a... what? 'Boyfriend' wasn' the word at all. It was far too juvenile and implied something that could be declared to the world. They were beyond the 'friend' stage now. She'd moved them there. The only word that came to mind was 'lover'... but that didn't exactly describe it either. Sighing, she finished undressing, stepping into the still steaming hot tub, hissing as the water soaked into cuts and bruises, loosening the dried blood from her legs. Anyway she looked at it, she'd hurt his feelings. It couldn't be easy for him to open up as much as he had to her. And the fact that he was slowly exposing himself to her made her melt a little inside. Yaone leaned her head back against the tub's curled ledge, sinking as far in as she could. She would apologize for her mistake after the bath.
>>>>>>>>>>
Sanzo lit another cigarette angrily, pacing around the small room. That bitch! Where the fuck did she come off suggesting something like that? As IF he'd turn her out looking like that! He desperately wanted to kick something or throw something... no, kill it. He was pissed to the point of storming back into that bathroom and shouting at her. Here he was trying to help her... and she thought he was doing it out of pity! Pity was about the last thing he felt for her. Yes, he didn't like seeing her cut up and beaten. But it was obvious she'd fought back, and, even if she didn't win, she at least stayed alive. He respected that. It made those earlier apprehensions for her safety fade away. Yaone wasn't going to die on him. She would fight back, and if necessary retreat.
He glared at that door, cheeks flushed with embarassment. Damn... goddamn it! Had he been completely wrong about her? Usually his instincts weren't so completely off-kilter. It had been a quick little kiss, after all. Maybe she hadn't even meant it. Damn... His fingers twitched with the need to do something violent and potentially painful to someone. That bastard who did this to her... he didn't know the name yet, or what the fucker looked like, but regardless of her feelings for him, Sanzo was looking forward to making that guy piss his pants at the end of his gun!
So stupid of him, really, to assume that this was more than just...
Just, what? Friendship? Now you ARE being stupid! You know it's not. She's tired and hurt and most likely didn't mean those words the way they came out. She came to YOU for help, not anyone else. YOU! That has to mean something.
Yeah, it meant something. It meant he was a fucking friend to her.
Stop being so goddamn sulky! You're starting to act like Gojyo.
Sanzo flicked the end of that cigarette away and contemplated reaching for a third. He WAS sulking, and that made him sick with himself. Him, sulky? Absurd! Sighing, he decided on the third cigarette, lighting it up. Gods, why this, why now... why HER? he let the smoke trickle from his lips, sitting down on the bed, elbows on his knees. His eyes went over to the bathroom door and then back to the clock again. The bath water had to be cold by now. Maybe he should check on her again...
He stood up, tapping on the door. There was a startled splash of water and then...
Thud!
"Ow... damn it all!"
His lips twisted in a quick smirk. She'd obviously fallen out of the tub or something. "Are you about done?" he asked through the door.
"Um... yes. Just about. I don't suppose... you have any spare clothing I might borrow?"
Oh. Shit, he'd forgotten to find something for her to wear! Glancing around the room, the only things he saw were his silk robe (OUT OF THE QUESTION) and his bag devoid of his extra gear. Hakkai had taken his extra shirt to be washed after he and the green-eyed man had been caught in the crossfire of a food fight. Eyes narrowing at that annoying incident, he unmade the bed, pulling the sheet off. He tapped on the door again and she opened it just enough for him to see she had a towel around her body... but it wasn't doing a very good job of hiding anything. He couldn't stop the flush from creeping into his cheeks, or the way his body reacted to seeing her dripping wet and practically naked.
Blushing furiously, Yaone snatched the sheet from him, shutting the door behind her. Sanzo stepped back a pace, staring at the tail end still trapped in the door and wondering how long it would take her to notice.
"UGH!" The door opened and closed again quickly as she pulled the rest of the sheet inside. He shook his head, walking over to the ash tray to stub out the cigarette. He grabbed the bandages and disinfectant, taking it all over to sit on the bed, which thankfully was across from the door. All he'd have to do in an attack was sit up, shoot the dumb bastard for disturbing him, and go back to sleep. His back was against the headboard, legs stretched out and crossed at the ankles. It was still several more minutes before she came out with the sheet wrapped awkwardly all around her.
"Don't even think about laughing," she muttered.
"Never crossed my mind," Sanzo answered. Not a lie. It hadn't really... until she'd suggested it. He motioned for her to come over and she did, crawling up next to him while holding the sheet in place until she was kneeling by his side. With her hair down, she looked a lot younger than he knew she was. She looked almost Goku's age, even though she was only a year or two younger than himself. He sat up, crossing his legs and opened the cotton pads and the disinfectant. "I suppose I don't need to tell you this stuff burns like a motherfucker."
Yaone gave him a very small smile. "Obviously."
Nodding, he soaked the cotton the cool liquid, using his free hand to tilt her head to the side, dabbing at the small cut over her eye. There was a slight twitch of muscle but she stayed quiet. "Are you calm enough to talk now?"
"I am. I... I'm not really sure where to begin though. I guess this started right after the New Year. I left you and went back to Houtu Castle. Lord Kougaiji wasn't happy I'd been missing for so long."
Fuck him! "Are you trying to tell me he did this?" She hissed as his fingers accidentally pressed too hard on the bruise along her jaw. "Sorry."
"No... it's alright. And no, he didn't. Lord Kougaiji would never do this to anyone. He was angry and left to find you-,"
"-Which he did." That explained why he was acting so oddly in the desert. The prince was pissy over his healer being gone for so long.
"-But it was set up to get him out of the castle. Then, guards attacked myself and Lirin and... they took her."
Sanzo tilted her chin back so he could see the cut under her lip. He could just imagine how that must have killed her. For some reason, the little brat was special to Yaone. Much like Goku to, you. He gritted his teeth at that comparison but didn't argue it either. "So, they took Lirin."
Her jaw muscles clenched at the touch of the cotton to her chin. As the blood was cleaned away, he frowned when he realized they were teeth marks. Not the right angle to have been from someone else (like an overly rough lover) to his relief. It came from her and had nothing to do with sex. Relief washed over him as he set the used cotton aside and pulled out some band-aids. fixing one just big enough to cover the now bleeding wound. He picked up fresh pads, motioning with his head to her neck. "You need to pull the sheet down a little."
Yaone did as he said, cheeks flaming up bright red. "They took Lirin and tied me up. I don't know where she is. When they let me go again, I went to find Lord Kougaiji and Dokugakuji, only to discover that Lord Kougaiji had been taken by..." She stopped, hands balling into angry fists.
It was obvious the person who took Kougaiji was part of the revival project. A BIG part of it, judging from how she wouldn't even say the name. And not an ally to Kougaiji's group, either. What could they possibly need both of Gyumaoh's children for? How were they necessary for the seal to be broken?
"Hold still." Sanzo tilted her head back to expose the deep bites At the first brush of the disinfectant, her body stiffened, hand closing over his wrist. He stopped, waiting for her to relax again before continuing. Slowly, she released her grip on him and he moved on. "The people that have him aren't out to make him better, right?"
"Right," she said, letting out a relieved little sigh that he was ignoring the lack of name. "They're not the sort of people I would hand my worst enemy to. Dokugakuji and I tried to save Lord Kougaiji... but we were imprisoned. Again."
"Hmph, just like I was poisoned. Again." She held the same bitterness he did apparently about getting caught up in the same shit over and over.
"I heard that. It... I was worried."
Sanzo paused in cleaning the wound on her collar bone. She was worried? About him? He had no clue how to respond to that He didn't want her to worry about him. There was no need. He wasn't going to die anytime soon, no matter how many times he'd come close to it in the past.
"Sanzo?" Yaone asked nervously. Her hand was on his wrist again, pulling his hand away. Her other hand touched his cheek, the light brush of her fingers sending little thrills to his spine. Damn... what was this feeling? He liked it... but he hated not having a name for it. "Sanzo, in the bathroom... why did you get mad?"
He refused to answer. That was none of her goddamn business, and it was making him angry again just thinking about it. He closed his eyes, trying to fight off the sensations her fingers slipping back into his hair caused. Why did this feel so good? It was almost... distracting... how she effected him like this. He couldn't afford to be distracted, but he couldn't bring himself to stop her. Gods... fuck it! Fuck it all!
Yaone's lips brushing very lightly against his made him jerk his eyes open, startled by the new rush of feeling that coursed through him. Copper-brown eyes stared back at him from a short distance, trying to read beyond the obvious shock. He closed his eyes again, unwilling to share with her what he didn't even know. He was almost afraid to find out what exactly to call this emotion, afraid she might know it and recognize it. Sanzo jumped a little when her tongue brushed against his lips. "What..."
She smiled patiently, her hand going from his neck down to his chest, pausing over where his heart was pounding. "You've never kissed a girl before?"
Sanzo scowled, angry she would rub that little fact into his face. "In case you failed to notice, I'm a monk," he snapped. What, she expected him to be a raging pervert like Gojyo? If that's what she wanted, the red-head was next door!
Yaone's smile softened, pressing her forehead to his. "Stop being so defensive. It was only a question. I'm sorry I assumed you had experience... with this."
"I never said I didn't." He did, too... to some degree. Granted it wasn't with detailed knowledge (like the kappa, or even Hakkai for that matter) but it was enough for a basic understanding.
He was rewarded with a deep crimson blush to her cheeks and neck as she awkwardly turned away. "Oh... I didn't mean to insinuate-,"
"Shut up." He didn't want to hear her apologize for insulting his 'male ego' or something else equally ridiculous. Sanzo this time took the lead, kissing her again. And this time, when her tongue brushed against his lips, he let her slip inside his mouth, her head tilting a little for a better angle. His eyes flew open again, locking with hers, shocked at this new thrill tracing up and down his spine. This was how he'd seen Gojyo kiss his women. And he was beginning to appreciate the effects of it. Before, he thought it was disgusting and lewd and a whole list of other things that made him sick to his stomach. But this... was nice. VERY nice. As in, she better kiss him like this all the time or he'd be pissed.
Yaone stopped this time, breathing a little harder, lips parted. He forced himself to swallow back any sounds of protest at the loss of her mouth. That would be like admitting he was weak or something. Sometime during that kiss, his hand had found its way to her lower back, just over the curve of her ass, fingers digging into the sheet. "S-Sanzo?"
"What?"
"Do you understand now?"
He sat back, confused. Understand what? The fact that she'd just about blown his mind? THAT he understood perfectly, but he had a feeling she wasn't refering to that. "Not following you."
The blush spread down her neck, her lips trembling a little as she tried to speak. "You were mad in the bathroom because you thought I didn't care for you, right?"
He couldn't help the shocked expression that crossed his face at having his words basically flung back at him. Had he really been that obvious? "Look, it's not-,"
"-Do you understand now that I DO care? I came here... I came here because you were the first person I thought of. I didn't think of trying to find Dokugakuji or another youkai woman to help me. I thought of you. I guess... I don't know what I'm trying to say anymore."
Sanzo didn't respond. He COULDN'T respond. He thought he knew what she was saying, but didn't want to risk being wrong by putting words to it. "Shit..." He pulled her in to him, felt her arms go around his neck, fingers toying with his hair. "Your point was made." That was the best he could do at the time.
"I wish this wasn't so complicated," she whispered, lips moving against his ear.
"Wishing doesn't do shit. It's complicated and there's nothing we can do about it except deal with it or walk away from it."
Yaone smiled against his shoulder. "I'm up for the challenge. You?"
"Have I backed down from one yet?" She laughed, letting him go completely to sit back, hands running down his arms to brush against his fingers. "I suppose we should finish this up." It took him a second to get his mind out of the gutter and realize she was refering to the cuts. Perversion had to be a disease, he swore to himself, shaking his head a little dispell the final, very erotic, image that had put itself into his head.
Sanzo picked up the cotton pad again and continued cleaning off her wounds, still trying to sort out the many conflicting emotions. Again he had to ask himself, why her?
Because she's her. And you like her.
That made no sense and perfect sense at the same time. Too much like something Goku would think. He shook his head and continued working on getting her patched up. Once he was finished, Yaone only making a few minor adjustments to the bandages on her wrists, Sanzo pulled the remaining covers back and over the both of them. He slept on his back to better face the door if necessary. Yaone curled up on her side facing him, but untouching. He was both pleased and disappointed at the same time. Pleased because she'd figured out on her own not to block his gun hand. Disappointed because she'd picked that side to sleep on, instead of the other where she could touch him if she wanted to. He relaxed back against the pillows, double checking to clock to see if it was set an hour earlier than before to give her time to sneak out. Which meant about three hours of sleep tops. Fucking sonufabitch! Hakkai BETTER have enough coffee made in the morning.
>>>>>>>>>>
Goku's eyes flew open, confused. He rolled over in bed, wondering what had woken him up. It wasn't breakfast time. It was too dark out! Besides, his tummy didn't feel hungry like it needed food. It felt kinda...
(What is this...like this... like HER... gods, her...)
He blinked, ruffling his hair. Where did that come from? What her was he thinkin' about? That girl who'd given him the meatbuns? She was cute and all, but he didn't really wanna track her down or anything. That was somethin' Gojyo would do. He let out a small sound as emotions, all of them nice and warm crashed into him briefly before they stopped. Those weren't his thoughts. But whose were they if they weren't his?
Rolling over, he faced the wall to the room next door. And froze. No way... Sitting up again, Goku pressed his ear to the wall. Sanzo was awake and talking... and a WOMAN answered! Another woman? Sanzo was actin' more like the perverted cockroach than himself. He wanted to go over there... but he didn't wanna get hit in the head!
"Goku?" Hakkai asked sleepily.
Goku turned to look back at the other man, rubbing his squinted eyes. "Huh?"
"It's almost three in the morning. Why are you awake?"
Blushing a little, Goku crawled to the edge of his bed and whispered, "I think Sanzo's got a girl over there."
Green eyes remained unfocused and sleepy. "And...?"
"And... what? SANZO has a GIRL. In his ROOM!"
Hakkai blinked a couple more times before shaking his head and flopping back on his pillow. He pulled the extra one over his head and said, voice muffled, "Please go back to sleep, Goku."
"But, Hakkai-,"
"Goku, I'm begging you! If there IS a female in Sanzo's room, it's his business, not ours. Now, we have a very long drive tomorrow, and I'd rather not fall asleep behind the wheel and kill us all. Good night."
Goku scowled at the lump that was Hakkai, shifting uncomfortably around on the bed. He couldn't sleep, not with all that warmth tingling through him still. He'd always been able to catch little peeks of Sanzo's thoughts and feelings. Ever since he'd found Goku on the mountain, it had been there, popping up every once in a while and disappearing again. This was the first time in months... and also the weirdest. Before, the thoughts and feelings had been very jumbled and usually angry or violent. This was... this was somethin' MUCH different. Punching his pillow again, he forced himself to close his eyes, the connection with Sanzo broken but that feeling still present. Since Hakkai wouldn't talk about it and Sanzo would kill him for even asking, that left one person who might be able to explain it. Tomorrow, he'd ask Gojyo!
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AUTHOR'S APOLOGY: Sorry if Sanzo was a bit off. I'm trying sooo hard to keep him Sanzo and make him want to be sexy at the same time.GRRRR!