Jesus H, I never imagined the Last Jedi could be so intense! I have a lot of feelings about it, but the good news is...it honestly works out great for this fic. I can take it to a place I hadn't imagined at the start and that makes me crazy excited! Thank you all for reading and favoriting and coming back for more. It means the world. Or galaxy, I guess. ;0)
Surrender.
Sleep eluded Bel that night. At first, it was because fear gnawed at her every thought. She had built a career on taking equal stock in both preparation and apprehension. Analyzing each impending disaster and ensuring that her team was ready for it. She wanted to trust Poe and his comrades, but even they had admitted that their plan was risky. With Bounty Hunters and troopers alike to contend with, it would be a miracle if they could manage to escape the planet. And even if they did, it was no guarantee that they would make it to the rebel base.
Guilt, an old but familiar bedfellow, reared its ugly head, too. Bel couldn't help but wonder why they didn't simply force the information from her and leave her to be captured. It certainly was the most efficient option. And yet, as far as she knew, it had never come up.
Bel rolled over, the small bed creaking underneath her. She turned her eyes to the window that sat adjacent to her desperately seeking distraction. It was wounding to think of such things. Trust was all she had. She couldn't abandon it, even under the scrutiny of logic.
The small cloth that had been hung in front of the window dancing lazily in the night air. Beyond it, she could see vague outlines of trees and hear the steady lapping of waves against the quiet shore. Her eyes blinked shut and she tried in earnest to focus on the sound.
You are here. On this strange planet...with these strange people. It's all real.
The mantra seemed absurd even now. It wasn't often that she allowed herself to dream of such a place while trapped inside the dark caverns of the unknown planets. And even when she did, she had never imagined this. Tiny planets where life flourished and people thrived. The smells and sights of a natural world, untouched by machinery and greed. Bel couldn't believe such places still existed.
When this is over...she thought as a yawn overtook her. Maybe I'll come back to this place.
Her eyes, heavy as stone, fell shut. And she was lost to sleep finally. Lulled by the waves.
As the night wore on and clouds lazed through the sky, the darkness was penetrated by the pearly gleam of the planet's small moon. It cast silent light across the small bay hub, searing through the cloth that covered the window. Her reedy body was draped across it, still as a stone statue. Her mind, however, was stirring.
A dream. Somehow she knew. She was no longer in the house on the hill. But back in that dilapidating cabin, laying on the half-broke bed bathed in light from the moon above that peered down from the hole in the ceiling like an eavesdropper. And there across from her, was Poe. Looking healthier than she had ever seen him. His hair was disheveled, Bel was starting to think she prefered it the way. The curls were so pleasant when tousled, her fingers itched to run through them again. The scar at the turn of his forehead had vanished. He looked...relaxed. As if he'd just woken from a deep and peaceful sleep.
"Hey, Red." He said, rubbing at one tired eye. A lazy smile grew across his face and Bel could feel the rosy blush return. The bed felt different in this dream, the walls between them were gone. Yet Bel's anxiety clung to her, it's grip vice-like even in sleep.
"If we don't make it-" The words were out before she could stop them.
"Ah," Poe said, his smile growing. He turned over onto his side, hitching his chin on one curled fist. "What did I say about what ifs?"
Bel scoffed but mimicked the move, wrapping her arm around the deflated pillow that lay under her head and tucking it in closer.
She opened her mouth, ready to spout a biting retort but nothing came to mind. Even in her dreams he knew exactly which of her exposed nerves to pluck.
"That you don't deal in them." She conceded, fighting to contain a tired smirk.
"So...?" Poe said.
Bel wanted to turn away, but his gaze pulled her in. His eyes were brimming, pleading with her to just let go and speak honestly again as she had in the hot spring.
"I'm scared." Bel said finally. "I think I've been scared my whole life."
"Of what?"
"Of standing out." She said, casting her gaze down. "Failing. Of...dying for a cause I don't believe in."
Tears began to pool in the corner of her eyes.
"Of stepping into the light," She continued. "And letting people see me, for who I am. Whoever that is."
It was easier to hide in shadow. This she knew. There wasn't a soul in the First Order that didn't have something to hide. Pride or shame. Fear or madness. She had been stripped down yes, nearly drowned and starved. Shot at and electrocuted. And all in a matter of days. If she continued on this path, she would have to reveal more of herself. Entrust herself to people other than Poe. The thought terrified her.
"You were right," She said, "I am a coward."
"Hey, hey," Poe said, pulling closer to her. His hand found her cheek, cupping the side of her face, thumb running under her eye to wipe away tear that had managed to escape.
"It doesn't matter what you were." He said. "What you want to be now, that's all that matters."
Bel considered his words. What did she want? To be free, yes. But beyond that? To continue her work, to care for people. Heal them. And…
"I want-," She swallowed the rest of the words down. They were too unscrupulous. She dared to look at him again and cursed to herself. He was like a magnet, constantly drawing her in. Turning her stomach and distracting her from her every thought. Her lips parted and she leaned closer to him.
As if he could read her mind, his hand left her face and drifted down around the curve of her shoulder. Her breath hitched and she waited, poised for what she wasn't sure.
"Bel," He said, gripping her waist and pulling her against him.
A sharp sigh escaped her as his lips met her jaw, snaking down and up again until they reached her ear.
"It's funny," He whispered, lips turning up in a smile against her neck. "After all that's happened. Everything I thought would come of this war…"
His lips moved down to her collarbone, "I never expected you,"
Bel jolted awake, a wanton sigh trapped in her throat. She slapped a hand across her mouth certain that, in the stillness that permeated through every part of her room, someone would hear her. She let it loose, feeling her chest rumble with the satisfaction of release. Breathing swiftly in and out, she rubbed at the sweat gathering on her forehead and sat up. As he feet hit the floor, her head swayed like a sheet in wind and she fought the urge to fall back into bed. Heat flooded from her skin like ripples in a pond, evaporating like steam until she was left with a chill that shook through to her bones. She could still feel them, his hands against her skin. At the curve of her hips, her collar bone, her stomach still alight with butterflies. Lingering, too warm and too real.
Except it's not real. She argued to herself. None of it.
She looked towards the window where new light bloomed. Morning, it had come so quickly. The sun, shielded by a thin bank of blue-gray fog, tipped over the horizon, bathing the small bay town in a soft and airy light. Dew kicked up the smell of salt as the waves, now small and nearly silent, drifted up and down the black sand shore so slowly, it was as if they were still waking themselves.
Bel moved quietly through the house, her boots clutched tightly in one hand. As far as she could tell, she was the first to wake. She wafted into the kitchen like some ghostly passer-by and rummaged around until she found a basket of strange looking fruits. Grabbing two of them, she slipped through the communal room and made her way towards the front door. She could still smell the remnants of last nights fire and a small pile of embers still glowed against the ashy film that littered the hearth. She turned her eyes away from it, her cheeks heating as she remembered what had only just transpired there. She had never been kissed before, never even thought of it really. There was no time, no opportunity...no man that so sparked such a reaction from the heart she had spent her life protecting. None of them had seemed worth the trouble.
He's worth more of it than all of it combined, She thought, sardonically.
She leaned her arms against the railing of the porch, letting the sea breeze coax her awake and bit into her breakfast. Her teeth pierced the skin of it with a satisfying crunch. Tangy juices coating her tongue and soothed her grumbly stomach. Bel tried to push away the thought that this could be the last of her meals, joints jittery as she turned the fruit in her fingers over and over again. She could see the ocean far down the hillside, waves languidly breaching the shore. She turned her eyes up towards the sky, leaning over the sink to better her view. A thin film of fog covered all. The sun, like a glowing white pearl, sat low in the sky; its day only just begun. Bel's eyes lilted shut as she took in the smells of sea salt and the early morning market foods. She bit into the fruit again, teeth pulling off a much larger piece this time.
"Good morning."
Bel whirled to see Poe leaning in the doorway. It seemed he too had raided one of the upstairs closets. He sported a new jacket of deep gray, each shoulder bearing a resistance patch of vibrant orange. His hair was mussed from sleep; slick dark curls turning every which way. The stubble lining his jaw was more prominent now and there were circles pooling like shadows underneath his eyes. As flashes of her dream flickered unbidden in her mind's eye Bel, thankful she had a mouthful of fruit to contend with, swallowed hard.
"Couldn't sleep?" she said, turning back to the seascape.
"Not really, no." Poe said, he stepped up the ledge beside her and leaned against it.
Bel stiffened and looked bashfully down at the uneaten fruit she had placed on the ledge, she grabbed it and held it out to him.
Poe looked down at it and then, with what Bel was coming to realize was his trademark smile, said, "Thanks."
He took it from her, the pads of his fingers scraping against hers. Bel could feel the flush beginning to creep back into her cheeks. She nodded and lifted the fruit to her mouth, trying and failing to distract herself. Her eyes had plans of their own. Glancing over against her better judgment, they raked over his rough hewn profile. He seemed the same, just as in her dream. Except the scar was there still, dully pale in the encroaching daylight.
She heard herself say, "What are our chances?" and breathed easier knowing such a potent distraction was so close at hand.
Poe bit into the fruit before posing an answer, then said with a mouthful: "A smart man once told me to chuck the odds."
Bel, caught by surprise, huffed a laugh. She stepped backwards, lowering herself down onto a low wooden bench that sat to the right of the door. She bent down, pulling one boot on and then the other.
"A smart man?" She repeated, unable to contain her disbelief, as she worked the laces.
Poe turned round, leaning his back against the wall, his eyes were trained on the fruit he spun in his hand. A full minute passed before he spoke again. The casual smile was there, but as the silence lengthened, it began to fade. A stern, almost confused look overtook his face.
"Bel," Poe started, unease tinging his voice. Bel's heart ratcheted up in pace, but she kept her face cooly clear as she looked up at him.
Before he could speak again, the door next to her flew open and BB-8 passed below the threshold trilling excitedly.
"Hey buddy," Poe said, kneeling down and rubbing a hand on the droid's round head. BB-8 emitted a series of beeps and whirs.
"Oh yeah?" Poe said, before rising to his feet. "Alright."
He looked to Bel, an apology flashing in his eyes. "Giles has some ammunition for us."
"O-Oh," Bel stuttered, lamely. "Okay."
Poe stepped around BB-8 and headed for the door. As he went to pass her, Bel's hand shot out and grabbed at the hem of his jacket.
"Wait-I," Bel said, baffling herself. If you don't ask now…
"I mean…" She continued. "What was it that you were going to say just now."
"Just that…" Poe said, looked down. The casual smile returned, buffeted by the same roguish sway that had floored her in the woods. "Well, I've done a lot of missions and...my parents taught me always prepare for the worst. But-"
He stopped, his hand lifting into the air. For a moment, Bel though he meant to touch her face and she jolted back a step. But it went to his hair, pushing it back as he struggled to find the proper words.
"Well," he said, smile widening. "I never expected you."
He stepped through the door, Bel's ears ringing as he left her behind. All the air in her lungs left in a huff and she stumbled forward, turning towards the wind to wipe away the remnants of the dream which tugged at her consciousness, begging for her attention. For what came next…
But she wasn't alone. The little droid remained behind and trilled three times, it's black eye targeting her. Bel didn't hear it. She leaned against the ledge, one arm draped against it while the other drifted. She touched her fingers to her bottom lip, allowing herself a single second of indulgence. Her eyes grazed across the landscape, taking in the lush green trees so vibrant in color that they seemed to brim with life. As they trailed to the ground, taking in the rust colored stone beneath layers of brushy foliage and dirt they found something new. Something that shattered her growing excitement, like a fist through glass. The hope that had been building in her since her escape was sapped away, leaving her bone dry and colder than ice.
A man stood at the edge of the forest, some thirty feet away. It was Davos Lin. The bounty hunter Poe had recognized the day before.
His eyes, dark like the waters down below, were trained on her. He didn't move, his hulking form well hidden in the lengths of shadows supplied in mass by the towering, gangly confiers. On his face, etched like stone, a satisfied smile. A predator that had found its prey.
Bel's mind screamed at her to run, to alert Poe and the others but she couldn't move. He lifted one hand and his fingers curled up. Once. Then Twice more. Bel jolted when she realized he was calling to her.
Down below, BB-8 tried a new tactic, rolling into her leg. Bel gasped, looking down even as her heart crawled up into her throat.
"Bu-" She started, the cogs in her mind finally ratcheting to life. "BB-8…There's-"
She stopped, realizing that the little droid couldn't possibly see what she had due to the height of the railing.
If I say anything...She thought. She looked out again, lips curling back as she realized that Lin was not alone. His two mates, both scaly and yellow eyed stood near, large blasters clutched tightly in their three fingered hands. ...With Poe and Giles down below. And the others I don't know where.
It was an ambush. That much was clear. Bel looked down to BB-8 again, it's head was cocked to one side as if meaning to pose a question.
Bel expected fear to come, but instinct leapt up to meet it and she was overrun with the only thing that had saved her in years passed. Pride...and anger. Waves of flame licked through her insides. She couldn't - no wouldn't - allow herself to be taken so easily. To be caught off guard. If her brother heard such a tale, she would have to endure the slimy blue of his eyes gleefully mocking her failure.
She looked towards Lin and deftly nodded her head once and then lowered herself down into a crouch.
"BB-8," She said, trying to sound sweet. "Stay here...please. Don't move."
The droids head tilted further down before a new string of beeps echoed around her. Bel just rose to her feet, hoping that the little thing understood. Bel looked over her shoulder and grabbed the cloak she had swiped from the closet. She pulled it around her shoulders. It was far too short for her, the hem falling just passed her knees, but the dark color returned more of her confidence.
He's just a man. She thought. Greedy and easily bought. You've dealt with far worse.
"I'll be right back," She said, her eyes fixed once more on Lin.
Slowly and silently, she descended the steps of the clay porch, one hand clutching at the railing. She paused when her boots hit the dusty ground and pulled her hair up, fixing it into a tucked bun at the top of her head. With each step her feet grew heavier, until she was certain she would sink through the earth.
"Hello there, Lieutenant Hux." Lin sneered, revealing a set of smoke-rotted teeth.
"Tell me," Bel said, unblinking as steel coated her every word. She dared a glance back at the house on the hill. At the smoke rising from the chimney of the happy home, where only just last night laughter had been leaking from every crack and crevice. "How many of you are there?"
Lin chuckled, leaning against one spindly tree. He picked at his thumbnail, his arm folding back to reveal a blaster strapped at his side. No doubt he had several more still concealed. "A dozen 'r so, I'd imagine."
Bel's lips came together in a thin line. Unbidden, Poe's voice came to her with the words he had spoken in the dream.
It doesn't matter who you were.
"If I agree to come with you," Bel continued, her voice belying none of the fear that was ravaging her system. "Will you promise to leave the house and everyone in it unbothered and unharmed."
Lin choked on a laugh. "Don't think you're in any position to bargain, kostyiak". Bel couldn't pinpoint the language, but the sentiment behind the word was clear. "The First Order isn't just paying me for you."
Bel's lips folded into a frown. She tilted her chin up, her entire body morphing into that of the officer. She was ice and smoke, unyielding and (something.)
"You'll get your money," Bel bit back. "And more, if you comply."
Davos Lin looked her up and down, his grisled visage unable to hide the hunger that stirred in his gut at the promise of a bigger pay off. "How's that, then?"
Bel allowed her smile to return. It was a mask . She may have loathed her brother his hubris, but she couldn't deny that it was a trait that ran steady through the Hux bloodline and had served her well in times of duress.
"I am...was an officer in the First Order." She continued keenly. "My funds won't be accessed until sentencing."
"How much are you willing to part with, kostyiak?" He asked, lazily.
"All of it," Bel answered without hesitation.
She lifted her hand to him. He regarded it crossly.
"I'm supposed to report on The Resistance fighters." He said, nodding his head towards the house.
Bel scoffed. "And what, you can't lie for money?"
He stared at her blankly. Bel wondered if he truly couldn't fathom a story or if he was confused by her question.
She sighed sharply. "Right, when you found me I was wandering the markets trying to bargain for passage off the planet. The resistance fighters had already pressed me for information and abandoned me once they had what they needed. Is that so hard?"
Lin growled, but before he could protest Bel held out her hand.
"Do we have a deal?"
He looked down at it for only a moment before pushing up off the tree and slapping his own to hers. Bel cringed and she weaseled out of his grasp, easily done as his calloused hand was oily with sweat. At least, she hoped that's what it was.
"Good," She said succinctly as she pointedly wiped her hand against her cloak. "If you'll allow me just two minutes."
"You think I'm some kind of-"
"Do you want the money?" Bel said, her voice slick as silk as it shot through his bluster, maiming it. "...Or should I scream now and make this all the more difficult?"
He opened his mouth as if to confirm the latter option, but paused seemingly to weigh his chances.
"Very well," Lin said gruffly, crossing one arm over the other. "Two minutes...and counting."
Bel didn't wait. There was no time to test his honor (or lack thereof). She spun and bounded up the hill, boots falling heavy under the verdant soil. Her heart was pounding, blocking out all other sounds save for her breathing.
As she rounded to the wooden stairs, BB-8 tipped forward. Bel lifted her hands, but it was too late.
"No, no!" Bel hissed as the little droid began to trill wildly, recognizing the man below. "Be quiet!"
She dived down, her knees landing on the final step so that she could meet this droid at eye level.
"Please don't-" She whispered, breathless. "I'm going to go with him I-"
Her words caught BB-8's attention and the beeps came to a sudden stop.
Bel took a moment to catch her breath and gingerly she lifted one hand.
"BB-8" She said, before slowly placing it down on the curve just next to the droid's head piece. BB-8's eyes swivelled down to it and then back up to her face, emitting a single curious deep. "There's too many of them...If we try to escape the planet now, Poe and the others could die and all the effort that's already been extended will be for nothing."
BB-8 proffered a response, but Bel shook her head. The droid's head tilted and Bel could distinctly hear the electric whir of it's black eye focusing in on her.
"Can you take a message for me?" She asked.
The droid waited a beat and then knocked it's head from one side to the other and rolled backwards, heading towards the door.
"Wait!" Bel called reaching out to him.
"For Poe, then." She tried, desperate. "For the mission."
The droid stopped.
"Please, I-" She begged. "I already saved his life once, I'd hate to have to do it again."
Somewhat hesitant, BB-8's head piece spun around and it's body followed suit. Bel breathed a sigh of relief as it approached. A small hatch at his side popped open. Inside sat a small silver device.
A recorder. Bel realized. She lifted it out and clutched it tightly in her hand. In string of quick whispers, Bel began to rattle off everything she knew. Specs of the Supreme Leaders ship, the planets the First Order occupied in the Unknown Regions, the bases that had been abandoned and those that acted as a hub for new tech and weaponry.
"...General Organa," She said, nearly out of breath as she came to the end of it all. "I-I wish I could have met you. Your trust in me, it brought me far. I can go back knowing that your pilot is safe and will live to fight on…"
Bel swallowed, trying to gather her words.
"I-I've known for son for some time and I want you to know, that he has struggled to relinquish himself to the dark side. I hope...hope you can take some comfort in that. Thank you, for everything."
Shaking like a leaf, Bel clicked the button again and held the recorder out to BB-8. A small two-pronged claw met her hand and snapped up the recorded.
Bel rose to her feet again.
"You'll be sure to tell Poe after I've gone." She said, the (something) for a promise lacing through her words.
The droid beeped softly three times. Bel hadn't a clue what it said, but she sensed contention in the tone.
"Please," She implored, fixing the little bugger with an icy sharp stare. "He'll try to stop me and...well, you know what could happen."
The droid rolled back a bit, the beeps hitching up in volume and pace.
"I-I know." Bel tried, even though she wasn't sure what argument the droid was attempting to pose. "But...I'm not worth it. You have the information. If I go with them, the hunters will leave and Poe can complete the mission. Alright? That's...that's all that matters here. That's all you came to do."
Bel didn't wait for a response.
"Well," She said, bushing a stray hair back "Goodbye then."
She didn't allow for another second. Even half of one could be her undoing. She could feel the threads that held her together were fraying. Soon they would break entirely. She descended the steps as quick as the wind, the folds of the cloak flaying wide behind her like a shadow.
"This way," Lin ordered, his voice like gravel scraping under the toe of a boot. He caught hold of her shoulder and pulled her along. They rounded behind the last of the market buildings where a small but speedy looking ship was waiting.
Bel's heart skipped, pumping blood laced with debilitating numbness through her system. She concentrated instead on the sound of her boots crunching under her. Her heels sank into the dirt as instinct made a single, last ditch effort to put a stop to her current coarse. Survival. It had been her only ally in times passed. And now she was willingly betraying it.
"Ah," Lin said, his grip tightening. "Too late for that."
He snapped his fingers and one of his mates appeared at Bel's vacant side. Her eyes blinked shut as cold metal closed around her wrists, locking them in front of her.
"Load her into holding while I contact the First Order," Lin barked. The creature mumbled in response, it's barbarous hand encircling her forearm and dragging her forward. Bel stumbled behind it as her mind folded in on itself.
This is it, She thought as they approached the ships landing. I-
A shot rang out and a flash of red overtook her vision. It was followed quickly by a piercing howl and the hand on Bel's shoulder fell away. Bel followed the sound. The hunter lay on the ground, shuttering as a blaster wound burned a fiery circle just under it's right breathed for the first time in minutes, her head flinging around to the direction of the shot. Poe leapt out from behind a crop of vegetation. Blaster in hand.
"Dameron!" She shouted, gaping as he raced towards her. His boots slid on the gravel as he got within range, fisting her cloak in one hand.
"Bel!" He hissed, "Or should I say idiot."
"Oh, I'm the idiot!" Bel bit back, aghast. "What are you doing here?"
Poe, incredulous, tugged on the cloak tried to pull her along. "BB-8 said that-"
"Oh!" Bel cursed. "That stupid little-"
"Hey you leave-"
The voice of Davos Lin rang across the landing, stopping Bel and Poe in their tracks. "Stop!"
Poe spun around, trying to push Bel behind him but she held her ground.
"No!" She hissed. "You have to let me do this. If I stay with you, you won't make it to the resistance base without being discovered! Take the information back to General Leia. Complete the mission-"
"Not without you." Poe spat, leaning back into her as Lin and his cronies shifted closer.
"Why?!" Bel shouted.
Poe, with careless aim, fired four shots at the ground kicking up a spray of dust. He grabbed Bel's collar and dove for the ground.
"Because-" He started, as a barrage of shots flew over their heads.
A different hand caught hold of Bel's hair and pulled her up. Needle-sharp pain erupted in her head as Poe's grip on her fell away. She reached out for him, eyes stinging as dust flew around them. He heard him grunt. Two more hands joined the first and she was forced down onto her knees, one hand clutching the back of her neck and pushing her head down.
As the dust cleared, Bel cursed. They were surrounded by a throng of troopers. At least fifteen of them.
She looked to Poe as his blaster was wrestled from his hands and he too was restrained.
Three of the troopers fell back to make room for a pale man. His face was angular, his upper lip sporting a small gash that he wore like a badge of honor. The cleft in his chin was as severe as his gaze. Bel recognized him instantly, even though the dust obscured her vision.
"Captain Opan," Bel spat. The trooper that held onto neck tugged her up and then released his grip, causing her to lose her balance and crumple to the ground. Bel coughed, inhaling a wave of dirt, but pushed herself back up. "Can't say I'm pleased to see you,"
The officer only sneered, surveying his two captives with a predatory smugness. He stepped forward and fell down onto one knee. Bel could sense Poe beside her, desperately trying to get loose of the troopers.
The captain reached out and tucked a stray hair back behind Bel's ear.
"Disgraceful...best tidy up, Lieutenant." He said, "He's waiting for you."
Phew! One more chapter to go before I get to the events of Episode 8! And...makes me sad we have to wait until 2019 for more. T . T
Thank you for reading and I would love to hear from you! Until next time...