9

Mayzie's tail was short. That was a problem. Gertrude's tail was long. That was a problem too. And of course, there was the fact that Mayzie was flying to Dr Dake's office right now, and I didn't know what to do. Should I pretend to be Dr Dake's nurse and tell her that Dr Dake wasn't in? Or should I just be Dr Dake and give her the pills?

It's up to you, kid. Just remember that if you make the wrong decision, the whole Seuss dimension will be thrown into utter turmoil.

"Oh, just that? Thank you, Cat." I said sarcastically, rolling my eyes. I needed to get to the office, and fast.

Here, kid, I'll help you out. Grab the brim.

I shut my eyes and grabbed the brim of the red-and-white striped hat. I felt a warm breeze whip through my fur and when I opened my eyes, I was in a small, quaint office in a tree bordering a lake.

"Yoo hoo! Mr Doctor!" I heard a voice belonging to Mayzie call. "I need something of your proctor!"

I dashed into the operation room in the back and shut the door. Then I sighed and wiped my face. She would be here any moment now...

"Mr Doctor, oh please, do you know of some kind of pill that would make my tail grow?" I heard Mayzie call.

I gave a little tug on my tux jacket, which turned into a white lab coat with feathers sticking out of the pockets. I guess I was the doctor, then.

As I headed back into the waiting room where an excited Mayzie La Bird was standing, only one thought pulsed through my mind: I need to buy myself some time.

I took a deep breath. Yeah, she really wanted me to give her an answer. "So so sagt dër doktor, dat ist obsurd, deïn kleiner schwanz, ist gerard richtich für einen vogel ve dich."

I can speak German? I guess I don't know my own strengths!

You're welcome, kid. Don't get too cocky.

My mind was racing too fast to even get angry. If I don't give Mayzie the pills, she'll get angry and have a temper tantrum. But if I do give her the pills, her tail will grow monstrously long and it'll be hard for me to clip them down to the right length. Should I just tell it like it was?

Mayzie tilted her head and furrowed her brow. "Huh?"

The least I could do was translate to English, I guess, but still with a German accent so I didn't break character. "Tut tut, said the doctor, such talk is absurd, for your small tail is just right for your kind of bird!"

What did I just say?! I meant to tell her that the pills were in the back room and that I would go get them!

Thar she blows! the Cat yelled in my mind, and I looked up to see a furious Mayzie turning purple with rage. She opened her mouth and let out a scream that probably could be heard for miles around. "Whaaaaaaaat?!"

She stomped her feet and yelled, looking more like a toddler who didn't want to do something. "Then Mayzie had tantrums! She raised such a din..." Uh-oh. I knew where this was going.

Mayzie ran up to me and shook me by my jacket, managing to pull a few tufts of fur out as well. "...that finally the doctor just had to give in!" She leaned in close enough to me that I could practically smell the birdseed on her breath. She panted heavily and was almost sweating. It was more than a little scary.

In my sudden panic, I couldn't think straight, and the words just fell out of my mouth. "All right, all right! Pillberry bush, meinen güter!"

I scurried into the back room, where a small bush with brightly colored pills growing from it was sitting in a pot. Quickly, I lifted up the pot and pushed the door open to see a frantically delighted Mayzie grinning. I sat the pot down in front of her quickly and dashed away as she started ripping pills off the bush.

There was a little window in the back room that showed the entire waiting area. That was what I used to watch Mayzie's feathers grow. Mayzie was just a pill-chugging machine; she didn't even need water to eat the pills, she just swallowed them down and shuddered a moment after.

Suddenly, Mayzie stood up perfectly straight and clenched her rear. "What was that?" she asked herself. "Something's itching me! What was that? Something's twitching me!"

I shrugged a little. "Some side effects may be included."

The Cat started to crack up in my mind. That's funny! But she couldn't hear it; your voice was diluted!

Meanwhile, I was watching magic in the making. I could see tail feathers beginning to grow out of her rear. The feathers were all different colors, too - some were hot pink, some were orange, and some were even a bright red. I glanced away to cough, and when I looked back, the Birdgirls were there, all doing the background dance.

Mayzie was obviously excited about her newly-found featherly bulk. "Amazing Mayzie!" she sang, grinning broadly while trying to get a glimpse at her still-growing tail.

The Birdgirls didn't seem too excited, like they never had liked Mayzie in the first place. "Just look at the tail she is sporting," they sang sarcastically, as if they didn't want to this but were forced to. Maybe they were, I don't know.

"Amazing Mayzie!" Mayzie continued to belt out her solo, not paying any attention to the Birdgirls' expressions and tones of voice. However, she did pay attention to me, enough to look up and sing "Thank you, Doctor Dake!"

The Birdgirls all rolled their eyes in unison, as if one singing, dancing, self-absorbed bird was enough. "Thanks, Doc," they said together, one of them making a gagging motion with her finger. "...amazing Mayzie," they continued to sing.

Mayzie, realizing what she could do with her feathers, almost screamed, "And hopefully, I'll impress Horton!" As the Birdgirls told her how amazing she was one more time, Mayzie picked up the bush, now starting to look a little crazy. "One more pill will do me good, yes it will! One more, one more, one more pill..." Every time she said "one more", Mayzie picked a pill off the Pillberry bush and swallowed it down. Doesn't the kid know anything about overdosing?

Now even the Birdgirls were becoming impressed with Mayzie's huge tail. It draped onto the floor and wrapped around the waiting room, curling around various things in the room and twisting around itself like morning glory. The Birdgirls, still disliking Mayzie but a little less now, sang, "Soon she'll have the biggest tail..."

As the Birdgirls and Mayzie continued to sing, I watched the tail start to droop out of the open doorway and snake down the tree. This was way too long of a tail for Mayzie.

She finished the number with an ear-piercing shriek that could probably have knocked the treehouse office down with its force.

In the silence that followed the last chord of the song, the Cat's voice echoed in my mind.

Kid, now her tail is too long, and its growth can't be stemmed or cut short. You knew that, right?

I curled and uncurled my fingers. I could feel the color in my face turning. If I could physically - and metaphysically too, for that matter - put the Cat in a headlock, that was exactly what I would have done. "You know what, Cat? This is just it. I am getting really tired of all your shi...zzle," I said quickly, fixing the word at the last minute.

Whoa, here come all the bad words! You must be so-o-o-o-o hardcore, the Cat said jokingly. Did it even surprise me anymore that he didn't ever stop joking and kidding around?

I tried to shrug it off, though. "Come with me, Cat. It'll do you well. But we've got a great big story to tell."

Ten minutes later, Jojo was gawking at the story I had just told. "You mean that works here? Tails grow from pills?" he asked curiously.

"Yeah," I said, nodding. "Take them and you'll get frills." I was trying to lead Jojo to the lines that were written in the script. Shoving them into his mouth verbally. "But even though it got stepped on, the tail never broke. It was lengthy, all right, and that was no joke."

Jojo thought for a second, then looked up. "So Mayzie is happy, right? Her tail's nice and strong."

Meh. Close enough. I proudly spoke my big transition. "Well, kid, fasten your seat belt, 'cuz now things go-"

"PRIVATE MAYOR! UP OFF OF YOUR BED! TIME FOR THE NO-THINKING DRILL! WE'LL GET THAT IN YOUR HEAD!" The General yelled. His voice boomed so loudly that it seemed to echo like a cave and bounce off the walls.

Jojo stood up and waved a barely noticeable "goodbye" with his hand. Then he looked straight forward and tried not to look at me again.

I sighed, disappointed about not being able to end my line properly. "...wrong," I quietly finished.

But then a chill ran down my spine, and I could hear some faint, yet clear, chatter resonating through the jungle that was Nool. It didn't look like anyone else in the boys' dorm could hear it but me. I guess that it was just a Cat thing.

"THIRTY PUSH-UPS, LADIES!" the General continued to shout orders. "I WANT TO SEE YOU SWEAT! AND NO, THIS ISN'T OVER! THIS AIN'T OVER YET!"

Now there was a sort of a drum beat that seemed to tap into my own heart. Boom...boom...boom...

As much as I wanted to stay and talk to Jojo, I could see that he had some work to do. So slowly - and a little rejectfully - I grabbed the brim of my hat and went to Nool so I could monkey around.

Jojo: THIRTEEN DAYS. YOU'RE SCARING ME NOW.

MagicalAwesomeness: I'm sorry! *whimpers sadly*

Talia: Aw, don't cry! *comforts*

MagicalAwesomeness: *smiles* Ha! I was only acting!

Cat: Up top!

MagicalAwesomeness: With pleasure!

Jojo: But what happened?

MagicalAwesomeness: Things happen. That's my excuse. I can't publish a new chapter every three days, and I realized that now. So from now on, five days to a week for a chapter. But school gets out in two weeks and then I'll be able to go full-time writing. Just... it'll be hard multitasking.

Talia: Excuse me?

MagicalAwesomeness: I made a prior commitment with my bros, and I need to stick with them. So a couple more chapters, and then I'll need to take a break for a while. Capisce?

Jojo: Huh?

Cat: Don't forget to follow, favorite, and review! It really helps her! Not me, of course... *scoffs hysterically*

MagicalAwesomeness: *rolls eyes* See you whatever.