A/N: This section was positively excruciating to write. I wanted every word to be perfect. As a result I am both fiercely proud of it and wishing I could revise it forever. You have all been so supportive with your reviews and comments, I do hope you enjoy this too. As always, let me know what you think. I await your feedback with baited breath.
Chapter 19
Minerva dropped Hermione's wrist as soon as the sitting room materialized around them. She walked to the French doors leading to a spacious balcony and threw them open. She walked through and leaned her hands on the rail, letting the gentle breeze from dawning moor sweep over her, attempting to cool her raging temper. She took deep, steady breaths, but the events of the evening roiled through her racing mind and she was unable to calm herself.
For her part, Hermione was at a loss. She didn't know whether to leave Minerva to her thoughts or attempt to reach out and comfort her. After all, nobody was hurt and Cormac was in the custody of the Aurors now. With the exception of the surprise visit from Cormac's nasty father, everything went to plan. Hermione knew she could have handled him too. But Minerva seemed to be having trouble breathing evenly and she appeared to be trembling, despite the warm summer air filtering through the open window.
After a long silence, Hermione left the room to check on Jasper. He was sleeping soundly, but she couldn't help but notice the dried tears staining his tiny face and the slight hitch in his breath, indicating that he had, until very recently, been crying vigorously. "Mummy's home, little man. I love you." She stroked his curls, wiped his face and adjusted the tartan blanket covering him to his tummy. She watched as his breathing evened out, and his lips smacked a few times before his sleep deepened.
Hermione hadn't heard anything from the sitting room, so she walked back to find Minerva exactly where she had left her. For a moment she wondered if she had fallen asleep there until she saw the ebony head give a subtle shake and drop forward as though in despair. Hermione summoned her Gryffindor courage and took a few steps toward the balcony. As she got closer she saw the figure shaded by the dawn light stiffen and straighten up. She stopped her forward momentum.
"Minerva."
The elder witch's hands balled into fists against the railing as though willing herself not to react.
"Minerva, please. Talk to me."
This was the final straw. Minerva drew a deep breath through her nose. "Talk to you? Talk to you! I cannae even look at you right now."
Hermione cringed and fell back on her tried and true method of dispelling tension. "So, how long am I in the doghouse for, then?"
Minerva rounded on her errant lover, facing her now, but still gripping the balcony rail behind her. "Don't! Dammit Hermione don't you try to be flippant! How dare you make light of this."
"I wasn't making light, I just wanted – "
"You just wanted whatever you want. As always. You did the first fool thing that came to your head and damn everything else." Minerva started taking slow, deliberate steps toward the now shaking young woman. "You think spending a few hours in the library gives you all the knowledge you need to go full boar into dangerous situations and that you'll just come out victorious, waving your Gryffindor colors to the cheers of the masses. But you're not a child anymore, Hermione. You weren't just putting yourself on the line tonight. Tonight you risked me… and you risked Jasper. And as much as you think you know it all, Hermione Granger, tonight… you didn't." Minerva was in front of her now, looking down on her, anger flashing in her green eyes. Her beloved Scot was gone, only the Headmistress was left.
"I never thought I –"
"You're right, you didn't. And if I hadn't shown up tonight? Jasper and I would be visiting you in a padded cell in St. Mungo's. And if I can't protect you from Hamish McLaggen, that could very well be your future."
"Minerva, it's over. We got Cormac, we'll get his father. How hard can it be? Cormac's an idiot. The apple can't fall too far from the tree. You'll see. I couldn't just sit around and wait any longer for the Auror Department to pull themselves together and make a move. I had Jasper's blood. It's all I needed to go in there and get him. I did what I had to do to end this. I get that you're angry, but, Minerva…"
"No! No, Hermione. You don't understand. One doesn't just "get" Hamish McLaggen. You don't have any idea who you're dealing with. I may not be able to keep him from you, Hermione, and I very well may die trying." Hermione gave a tiny gasp at this. "You have made a powerful enemy tonight, lassie." Her next words came in a whisper, "and rekindled an old one of mine."
"Now wait just a bloody minute. When in the hell did I ever ask you to do battle for me. I am perfectly capable of handling myself Minerva McGonagall. I have more power in my pinky finger than Cormac McLaggen can fit in his private quiddich pitch. I can eviscerate him with a flick of my wand, and he bloody well knows it."
"But his father – "
"Hasn't met me. I'll take care of myself and of Jasper. You worry about you. You needn't fight my battles for me, Minerva. You said it yourself, I am no longer a child, I am a grown witch with power of my own. I don't need you!"
Minerva stepped impossibly close and Hermione was surrounded by the scent of heather and wool. "Tha's a pity, lass," A slim finger ghosted down her cheek, barely touching. "Because I need you," and Minerva McGonagall walked from the room in a swirl of robes.
Hermione was stunned. She was about to go after her lover when Jasper's soft cry came from the adjacent room. The young mother rolled her eyes and attended her son.
She lifted him from where he was standing in his crib and wiped his face and nose with the stocking cap she pulled from her head. Then she sat down in the rocking chair and with a myriad of thoughts running through her mind, slowly put her agitated child back to sleep.
Once Jasper was tucked safely back in bed, hiccoughing again, but content, she made her way through to the bedroom where her volatile love awaited her.
Minerva was tucked into the window seat, much like the night of Beltane, looking pensively out the window. Hermione was relieved to see the tense rage permeating her body was mostly dispelled. All that was left was a despair Hermione had never witnessed in her before.
"I didn't mean to imply you aren't important to me, darling. Essential, even." She took a seat across from Minerva by the window. "I just can't be seen as weak, as needing someone else for protection, or safety."
Minerva turned her sad eyes on her. "And what of love? Of comfort? Of happiness?"
"Those are all important things, Minerva, but needs? I – "
Minerva was on her feet in a second, standing in front of Hermione who had turned to face away from the window. The older placed a hand on a smooth, young cheek and left it there, leaving the truth in her eyes bare for Hermione to see.
"You need to listen to me, Leannan, because I willna say this again. It is never weakness to need another. Ever. If you need me to comfort you, I will hold you until my arms break. If you need me to protect you, I will place myself between you and death itself. If you need me to care for Jasper, I will place my very life in his hands. If you need me to love you, I will reach into you until you come apart in my arms and forget who you are. If you need me to find something, I willna stop searching until it rests at your fingertips. If you need space, I will give you the skies I adore so. If you need time, I will stop the earth's rotation. If you need me to leave you, I shall rend my heart in two and you will never see me again. But, Hermione, dinnae ever be afraid to need me. Ever."
"Oh, Minerva, I –"
She wasn't allowed to finish her thought as Minerva's lips descended on hers. The kiss was valiant and true and deep and it didn't end when Hermione's hands threaded into Minerva's tightly wound hair. It didn't end when Minerva lifted Hermione into her arms and carried her, bride style to the bed. It didn't end when Minerva gathered Hermione to her, wiping tears from smooth cheeks. It ended only with emerald eyes meeting cinnamon and Hermione's gentle sobs as Minerva whispered Gaelic into her hair as she cried herself to sleep.
Chapter 20
Minerva was startled awake by Hermione's scream.
She shook Hermione awake and was met with frightened, brown eyes. Those same eyes squeezed shut, trying to block out the memory that constantly visited her dreams.
"No. No. No. I got him. He's gone, locked away. The dreams were supposed to stop. I looked him in the eye and faced down my fear. He should be gone" She was gripping her hair and shaking her head as though she could rattle the memories free of her mind.
"Shhh. Leannan. I know. I'm here. I'm right here."
Hermione sat up, fully awake now and left the bed. "You don't know. You don't know the real reason I went to McLaggen Manor last night. Oh, you think you know. Brave Gryffindor, know-it-all, thinks she can handle it, like the bloody mountain troll. No, Minerva. I had to go there last night. I. Had. To. I had to prove to myself that he couldn't beat me. That I was stronger and more powerful than a group of fucking seventh years, that no matter how badly that bastard hurt me, that I could still take him on. I had to prove to you that I am worthy of the love you are offering me; that I'm not some simpering little girl, riding the coattails of the great McGonagall. I have to know that no matter my age or level of mastery, that you see me as an equal, Minerva. And I had to know, for myself, that it will never, ever happen to me again. I had to take my power back, don't you see? I can't let him haunt my dreams forever."
"Oh, Leannan. You underestimate my esteem for you." She rose and crossed to Hermione, deliberately not touching her. "Hermione, I thought all of those things long before I ever fell in love with you. You are bright and powerful and bursting from the seams with magic. Nobody compares to you. And that has nothing to do with my feelings for you. You earned my respect, my esteem and your place in the wizarding world, all on your own. My love for you, while steeped in all of those things, is completely separate of them."
Hermione gave a weak smile. "But he's still there. In my dreams. Will he always be?"
"No, mo chride. Not always. That is why your mother sent you to therapy. I cannot banish him, only you and time can do that, and riding half-cocked into danger willna do it either, understand?"
Hermione nodded, tears running down her face again.
"They caught you off guard, is all. It is the mark of a coward. Attack from behind. You are a fine, braw lassie and a damn powerful witch." She gathered Hermione into her arms. "Mo treun ban-leòmhann. My brave lioness. Come on. Jasper will be up soon. Let's get some tea and scones before the wee heathen awakens to tear my castle to bits, aye?"