Disclaimer: Game of Thrones is D&D's property, after being GRRM's property. Or else, Lancel would be the happiest kid in Westeros, should it be mine.

Summary: He was born in the light, she in the shadows, yet it was her who would become her sun. [Modern AU. Kevan/Dorna]

Author's note: This story is a bet from Assassin Master Ezio 91.

Shadow and Light

Chapter 10

After two years of trying with no results whatsoever, Kevan and Dorna had started to seek professional help, to understand why they had such a hard time conceiving a child. It really was a wonder considering the histories of their families. The Lannisters were known for being fertile and had lots of twins in their history. And the Swyfts, apart from some miscarriages here and then, didn't really have issues either. The couple started then to consider that, maybe, their own bodies caused an issue. However, before they could undergo any tests of any kind, they had to put aside their desire for parenthood:

Joanna died in childbirth.

XXXXX

Upon the news of Joanna's death, Dorna had broken into tears. She had loved Joanna as if she had been her own sister. She had been a close friend, a confident and for her to go like that was just horrible.

Joanna and Tywin had been aware that their third child, a son, would be born a dwarf. While they knew his life would be hard, they decided to give him a chance. For Joanna, there was no way she'd deprive her child of a chance at life and as for Tywin, while he knew that life as a dwarf would be a battle, with the modern world they lived in, it could be easier than in the old days, back when there were dragons and white walkers. Besides, the doctors assured them that their son, apart from this handicap, was perfectly healthy and Joanna was too. Haemorrhage would claim her life shortly after the birth of her little Tyrion.

Kevan had never seen Tywin so broken down and the man didn't want to let go of his wife's corpse when the doctors came to take her away, clutching to her, crying in despair, heartbroken. He still wondered how Dorna had managed to convince him to let her go. She was braver than anyone gave her credit for, entering the room, seeing her friend's lifeless body, held by her husband weeping, the sheets still bloody after the birth. With softness and kindness, she had managed to convince Tywin to let the people do their job. What made him calm down was the mention of Jaime and Cersei, of how they needed him, and they were a part of Joanna too.

As his brother was unable to work, to do anything, way too broken inside to even respond properly, Kevan and his wife moved in Casterly Rock for some time, Kevan taking leadership of the business in Tywin's name until he felt better, or at least ready again. As for Dorna, she helped around the estate, ran it the best she could and the way Joanna did, so the children would not be too disturbed. She also tried to take the best care she could of Tyrion. Of the orphans, Cersei worried her the most. Jaime had cried a lot, still did because he missed his mother, but he had quickly tried to move on because of his baby brother.

"I miss Mommy." He said. "But Tyrion, he'll never know her. That's sad because Mommy was awesome. Mommy gave us Tyrion to love."

He tried his hardest to help his aunt with the infant, insisting on making the baby formula with her, watching as she bathed and changed him, asking how his health was, and went as far as asking questions to a doctor about his brother being a dwarf and what it meant. But Cersei actually hated Tyrion. She believed he was responsible for her mother's death and Dorna could understand that. For a seven years old girl, a baby is born while the mom dies. Of course the baby is to blame. However, it seemed she suffered from her own thoughts. Like Jaime, she found it sad that Tyrion would never know how great their mother was, he'd never know her smile, her warmth. And she wanted to love him, because her mother would want her to. However, as hard as she tried, she couldn't and everytime she looked at him, she didn't see her brother, she saw the person who deprived her of her mother. Nevertheless, sometimes, her sisterly vibe took over and Dorna saw her several times doing her homework near him, so that if he cried, she could call for her. She had even picked a book for Jaime to read to him. Dorna wondered if Cersei needed psychological help, Kevan believed it could do both children good but they didn't want to act without Tywin's approval. They only were the uncle and the aunt. Tywin was their father. When Kevan suggested the idea, Tywin said it couldn't hurt.

While Tywin was withdrawn, he still remained present for his eldests. When it was discovered that Jaime was suffering from dyslexia, he worked with him everyday on his reading. Soon enough, while sometimes it remained a bit weird in his head, Jaime didn't have any reading issues anymore. He had also built a toy for Cersei and Dorna swore that the child's joy made her grieving brother-in-law smile, or at least she thought she saw the hint of a smile. When he caught Cersei praying, because she thought the Gods would return her mother to her if she prayed very hard, he told her the Gods had no mercy, this was why they were Gods. Nonetheless, when she told him her aunt prayed when she felt sad, he said that she could continue if it made her feel better. Yes, everything seemed okay between him and the twins. However, he had the hardest of times bonding with Tyrion. He wanted to love him but he couldn't, pretty much like Cersei. He felt guilty about it, as Joanna wanted this child so much and she had loved him from the start. He knew Joanna would be pissed at him, but it was beyond his control. Try as he might, he didn't love Tyrion and couldn't bring himself to love him. Dorna tried to comfort him, telling him his wound was still very fresh and the situation was delicate. Love would come later. He simply told her he hoped she was right.

Six months later, Tywin slowly took back his place, still helped by Kevan.

His brother and sister-in-law moved out for good only after Tyrion's first birthday, with Dorna coming by to help with the children when their father worked.

XXXXX

The years slowly passed and if Kevan and Dorna were blessed as an uncle and an aunt, there was still that ache of not having a child. The tests they took showed that none of them had any body issue that would explain why they didn't manage to conceive. As for Dorna, she never experienced any miscarriages, any phantom pregnancies. Just false hopes and the frustration that came afterwards. They gave all the love they had to their nephews and nieces. Jaime was growing to be quite the athlete and Cersei had her father's brains mixed with her mother's beauty. Tyrion was a charming little boy, clever, happy, loved by his big brother. His relationships with his father and sister were still shaky. Cersei tried her best to love him as a sister, but it was clear that their personalities didn't help in bonding. As for Tywin, he respected his intelligence and tried to bond with him as a son, but often, Tyrion wondered if he blamed him for his mother's death. He often spent some holidays with Kevan and Dorna, who were more than happy to have him around.

When Tyrion was about to turn nine, Tywin asked Kevan if Dorna and him were still trying to have a child of their own. Kevan confessed they hadn't lost hope. But it was getting tiring and heavy to bear.

"There are several good adoption agencies around here."

"We have considered it. Still, it isn't an easy choice to make. And while she doesn't tell me so, I can see Dorna is hurt by all this. I think she blames herself."

Tywin nodded.

"Do you remember the house we used to go to during summer when we were kids?" He asked

Kevan seemed puzzled, even more when Tywin handed him the key.

"Dorna and you could use some time away."

"Especially when we are seeing her father tonight. He's getting more and more annoying with the baby situation."

Harys had been supportive at first but was starting to be borderline rude to his daughter according to Kevan, especially when his son Steffon and his wife were expecting a little girl and when Shierle had just discovered her own pregnancy. With so many babies to come, Dorna's flat belly was a dark spot in the family portrait.

And there was no way Kevan would let his father-in-law humiliate his wife for something that was beyond her control.

XXXXX

While talking to Steffon, Kevan kept an eye on his father-in-law, having that nagging feeling something awful would come out of his mouth.

"We'd like to name our daughter Joanna." His brother-in-law confessed "But we wouldn't like Tywin to be upset."

"Oh, believe me, he won't!" He smiled "He'd praise you for your good taste in naming your daughter."

Dorna was playing with her niece Lyndis. Shierle's husband, Melwyn Sarsfield, had been married before marrying Shierle and had a daughter from his first union. Lyndis was a precious little girl but was growing jealous and afraid of the baby her stepmother was carrying, believing they'd love him more than her because she wasn't fully Shierle's child.

"So, when is it your turn, Dorna?" Her father playfully asked

"When the Gods are kind enough." She responded briefly

"It's been sixteen years since you got married. Your husband's patience must be praised."

Kevan approached his wife, taking her by the shoulder.

"My wife's patience has to be praised. For all we know, I could be the reason why we don't have a child yet. And when I see how you act about, perhaps it's a good thing the Gods prevent us from giving you a grandchild."

Harys fell silent, his face white and didn't speak to them for the rest of the evening.

XXXXX

The same night, Kevan woke up to the sound of his wife, in pain.

"What is it?" He asked, still sleepy

"It's okay, I think it's something I ate." She tried to ease him. "You can go back to sleep."

Seeing her face, her paleness and the fact that she was curled into a ball made him realize it wasn't just a stomach bug. When he got out of bed to pick up some medicine, the couple then discovered that they were sleeping in bloody sheets.

The sound of the ambulance broke the peacefulness of the house.

XXXXX

Tywin had rushed to the hospital as soon as Kevan had called, entrusting Tyrion to Jaime and Cersei. For Kevan to call him because Dorna was unwell, it meant serious business. His voice worried him and the scene he described reminded him too painfully of Joanna's demise. He didn't want Kevan to go through the same pain. When he arrived, he saw him crying.

"I'm too late..." He thought

Until he saw that, between his tears, Kevan was actually smiling happily.

The scare had been controlled, Dorna was going to be okay and miracles existed. No one knew how or why it happened now and not before:

After sixteen years of marriage and thirteen of trying, thirty nine Kevan and thirty four Dorna were expecting their first child.

To Be Continued