I'm getting there people, I'm getting there.

16th June 1916

Sweetest Grace

How are you Darling? I am sorry that I haven't written for a while but I have been slightly busy typing up my new ideas for the hospital. I have wanted to write but I have also had to work rather hard, of late. With the work and typing the ideas, I couldn't find a spare minute to write to you. We have only had two convoys but they were packed full with soldiers, straight from the front. I hope you can forgive me for not writing sooner, dear? As you said, I haven't told you of my ideas, so I thought that now would be a good time to a least start. I still want to try and experiment with music. Lance Corporal Laurence Prentice, wasn't just a statistic. Pubright treated him that way but he wasn't. He was a person. A person with hopes, dreams, family, friends maybe even a sweetheart. What happened to him was not what he deserved. Nobody deserves that. He had a life to live, and now he hasn't because of this war. Just like Freddie. Before this war, so may young men had lives to live and now thousands of them have lost their lives, in the foreign fields of France. It isn't fair on those boys. I'm sorry, I'm wandering from the point now.

I would also like to see a better sanitation system. We have a good sanitation system at the field hospitals but it could be so much better. Having better sanitation anywhere would be good because, sanitation anywhere is one of the most important things, if you are to have healthy thriving people. It only makes sense. I wish that some of the officers would listen to me and they would see that I have some sense.

You were right about what you said. You don't need the respect of Margaret or Soper. To be completely honest, you don't need anybody's respect, because you are still the person you are inside. Having the respect of nosy gossips doesn't make anybody, socially happier. That's what those pair are. Nosy gossips. I hardly ever seek the respect of, any other officers, because I don't see how it will make me happier if I have it. I care very little about what other people think of me. I used to care, when I was younger because I thought that other people's opinions mattered more than mine did. Now I know that isn't true, other people's opinions of me don't matter.

I know that you said you trusted Margaret but I never understood why. I never trusted her, to tell you the truth. That was another reason, I picked you for the job as Matron and not her. You seemed do much more trustworthy. I felt I could trust you in a way that I couldn't trust anybody else. You also never let me down, by trusting her. I wish you'd tell me why you thought that. Firstly, why you trusted Margaret and secondly, why you think you let me down by trusting her? You could never let me down Grace. I love you far too think that you could do anything wrong. I never want you to think that you have failed me, in anyway. That is the worst thought to me. Except thinking that you didn't love me.

There is talk of a big push circulating round. I'm not sure if you have heard yet, as we only found out yesterday. It is meant to be, the big push to finish the war for good, this time. Though we have had several of those, since the first Christmas, which we were meant to win by. The war is starting to sicken me now. The endless death, we are surrounded by is starting to hit home. I feel that it is far too hard to keep fighting. So many have died already and there is no end in sight. It isn't fair on the men who are fighting. I know that I have said it already but it really isn't. Conscription had now come in, so none of the men over nineteen, even get the chance to think about joining up. They are signed up and sent to the front, without even being asked if they want to serve. Then again, the patriotism some men feel, means that they would rather be killed, than not be allowed to fight for their country. Conscription shouldn't have been put in, from my medical point of view you could even say my human point of view, but from a military perspective more men are needed at the front so conscription is the only answer. I dislike listening to the military point of view though. Apparently being in the army is meant to harden people to the loss and deaths of friends and 'comrades' that, you will inevitably lose one way or the other.

I am starting to ramble on and I don't want to bore you anymore than I already have, Darling.

I await your next letter, anxiously, as always.

Roland

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