Chapter 10; of Tragedies and Grandmas

My Sister was not so happy to be in Charge for a while but accepted it.

While I hid behind her, she scared of pretty much everyone with her cold glare.

I don't know how many days went with me hiding, my Sister eating a LOT and Kyle not visiting. I overheard Adam's conversation with someone; it was about Kyle. As long as my wolf will be in charge, he won't come to visit since it was too dangerous.

At first I overanalyzed every single memory I had of my old life only to move on my new life after that. As I moved on to my capture, my sister gave me some memories she hid from me earlier. I became numb after them, just letting my memories pass.

When I slept, I had strange dreams involving my old grandmother. She stood with her huge wooden spoon by the stove and asked what I have done with myself.

I fell into apathy witch made my sister restless and worried. She tried to change our places but I hid even deeper inside us. When she realized I won't be coming forward anytime soon, she Changed again. When she realized being human won't bring me forward, she Changed again.

The last Change, more than usual pain came along. My Sister absorbed almost all of it, but her worry made me sit up.

One word was repeated in her mind, over and over again. Babies, babies, babies. Our babies.

I slumped down even more inside of us. Great, just great.

I was pregnant.

And the best part was my non existing knowledge of whom the father was. Just perfect.

I let my sister handle it all and slid back into apathy once again.

Her pain woke me up.

I came forward and smelled blood. Our blood.

I got our eyes back and I glanced around. We had miscarried and my Sister was pining for her non existing offspring. I touched one of the lumps with my nose and let out a howl of sorrow. This shouldn't happen. Not to me, not to anybody.

I heard steps on the stairs and turned myself so my body was covering the blood and our babies. No one should see our two babies like this.

Adam, Warren and Mercy were the ones who came down.

They glanced at me, looking for the reason of my sorrow and the smell of blood but didn't seem to see it.

Mercy moved more to the right and gasped.

"I'm so sorry…"

I howled in pain again but growled as Warren and Adam tried to move. As Mercy came closer, another growl erupted.

This wasn't theirs. It wasn't their business. They had no right to see.

Mercy went back to Adam and whispered so I barely heard in his ear

"She has miscarried because of the Change…"

I growled loudly.

Warren hung his head and looked away from me. Apparently the TV was oh, so interesting.

Adam spoke slowly

"Nea, I'm very sorry for your loss..." LOSS?

This wasn't a "loss", this was a tragedy for me.

"…if there is anything I can do for you, just say so. Anything."

Letting me go would be the obvious answer but I was too tired. I gave my sister the arena again and ignored Adams lecture how letting a wolf forward too much can make you disappear.

I didn't care.

I did care when Warren and Adam tried to enter the cage. Fortunately my sister thought the same, because she chased them off.

Adam must have thought I was having a hard period and didn't still me with his power.

For the next days, both I and my Sister fell into apathy. We were curled around our babies, not letting anyone come close, only grasping bits off conversations

"…poor kiddo…"

"…didn't Ben tell her this when he taught her?"

"…I went thru the same the first time…"

"…the father must be one of the other wolves…"

"…do you think she will disappear…"

"…I guess we will have to shoot her…"

"…life has proven even more that it's not fair"

"…think she will handle it, she is a strong kid…"

"…can't Warren's boy toy visit her?"

"…don't get it either!"

The conversations were ignored and the questions unanswered.

Both I and my Sister went on a hunger strike, making the conversations buzz even more.

The dreams continued, but now my grandmother told me to remember the bedtime story.

I realized that the further I fell into apathy, the harder it was to get out. And I didn't even want to get out.

Apathy made life numb and painless, like an overdose of painkillers or alcohol.

The further I fell the more beautiful it seemed.

Another dream woke me up.

My grandmother slapped me real hard and then hit me with a spoon on my head.

"Don't you dare to fade away! I give you my life now, but I won't be around the next time. Bye, bye baby girl. Use the gift well."

I woke up gasping wildly, the apathy long forgotten and a headache pounding in my head.

Someone was screaming. Screaming like she was being skinned alive or going thru torture. The sound of it made my ears hurt and made me want to hit the person who was screaming. Who the hell would scream like that, couldn't she shut her mouth?

Oops; I was the person that was screaming. I must have Changed in my sleep again. I glanced around the cage and realized someone had removed the blood and my babies while I was sulking.

My breath was coming in short gasps when I stopped screaming. I heard steps from the top floor; someone was running down to me.

I threw some clothes on me but otherwise made no moves.

Was my grandma really gone? Or was it just a dream? It all seemed so real, too real. Her smile was exactly as I remembered her, like she hasn't changed at all in the last 6 years. I remembered her telling me to call her. I drew a deep breath to calm myself and smelled something… something weird.

Adam and Mercy rushed in at full speed but both stopped by the cage and started to sniff.

"Why does it smell like witch magic in here?" Mercy asked, surprise in her voice. Wow, I guess witches were real too. Wonder if vampires were too…

"Don't look at me, I didn't do anything. Could I borrow a phone?" My answer was rushed and there was a clear plea in my voice. I had to call my grandma. She was basically the only one in the family I loved oh, so much and the one I would let myself be cut open for. She was simply grandma.

Adam handed me his cell after a warning glare. I guess my behavior was very weird after weeks of actually doing nothing.

I dialed her number quickly and got more panic stricken with every ring. Finally I got her answering machine

"Hejsan, detta är Laura. Jag är ledsen att berätta för er att jag har nu gått bort, jag hoppas ni kommer sakna mig. Lisa, skulle du kunna vara en sötnos och ta alla plantor till din lägenhet? Jag skulle avsky att se de dö nu. Om du är min älskade barnbarn, tryck ditt favoritnummer. Jag älskar er alla och hoppas att min död kommer göra det jag hoppades för. Hej då alla, mitt testamente finns i den stora garderoben i hallen." (Translation at the bottom of the page)

I pressed the number 8 as quickly as I could and listened to another message

"Nea, min älskling. Jag hoppas verkligen du får detta meddelandet. Eftersom många vet ditt favorit nummer, det enda jag vill saga till dig är: kom ihåg den gamla godnattsagan jag brukade berätta för dig. I den finns allt du kommer behöva. Om det blir så att du faktiskt blir ytterst förvirrad; ring Lisa, fast jag varnar dig att hon inte kan allt eller ens hälften, och att hon inte är en av oss. Jag älskar dig verkligen gumman, min lilla Nea. Visste du det var jag som valde ditt namn? Jag vet man borde älska all sin familj med samma styrka, men sanningen är att jag har älskat dig mest. Jag är ledsen din mor har flyttat så långt bort och dragit dig med sig. Jag har alltid försökt vaka över dig och är ledsen för det som hände utanför den där bion. Ja gumman, jag vet allt… Jag måste avsluta nu men du kommer alltid finnas i mitt hjärta och jag hoppas jag kommer finnas i ditt. Puss…" (Again, translation at the bottom.)

I got disconnected. I was shocked and sad and got disconnected. Still in shock, I handed the phone to Adam who looked worried at me.

I stood up and walked out from the cage, passing both Adam and Mercy. Their mouths were moving but I couldn't hear anything. I sat down at the new couch, leaned my head back and started to breathe heavier and heavier. I was either having a panic attack or I was going to start crying real soon. Maybe both. The sobs came soon, in a very uncontrollable way. Few seconds after the sobs, the tears came.

I was sitting on the couch, with my face in my hands and crying. Crying for my beloved grandma, crying for me not being able to say goodbye to her or even come to the funeral, crying for my babies, crying for my lost life, crying for what happened to me, crying for everything and nothing at all.

Mercy sat down beside me and started to awkwardly stroke my back and murmuring something.

My sobs grew and I was starting to run out of breath. I felt Adams power trying to calm me but I didn't want to be calm, I wanted to mourn. Adams power slid over and beside me like I was a rock in the water. Other waves were coming but just like the first one, they slid. I heard distantly when Adam was calling Sam to come over as quickly as he could but right now, my world was my tears.

I don't know how long I cried but my sobs only grew. Soon, I couldn't breathe because of my tears and sobs. I heard more steps on the stairs and this time Adam's and Sam's power calming me. I didn't want to die, not yet, so I accepted their power, welcomed their calm and tranquility. My breaths became deeper and calmer but my tears just kept coming. I didn't care I was surrounded by dominant wolves or the fact that I had just thrown away everything I had fought for here.

I heard Adam making more calls but then I got mental images of my grandma committing suicide and the world blurred again. I don't know how much time passed but Mercy stopped stroking my back and got up. Another person sat down, but my nose was running and I couldn't smell anything. It was an utter surprise when Kyle drew me to his side and stroked my short hair. I hugged him and continued to cry, totally ruining his shirt. I felt someone and I guessed it was Warren sitting down and putting my feet up to his lap. He stroked my legs and both let me cry in peace. The other people left the basement leaving us.

I tried to explain to them why I was crying but incoherent words came out from my mouth and I got "Shhh…"'s as a response from both.

After a while I had cried all the tears I could cry and was just hiccupping, thinking of everything and nothing at all. I sat up, drawing my feet from Warrens lap and releasing Kyle from my hold. Both looked at me and Kyle swore silently. When I looked at him surprised he gave me a small smile and said

"I really hate seeing you with such a sad broken look in your eyes, honey. But you have to admit you have the most original ways to break Adam, making him remove his punishments."

I gave him a small smile at the last statement and put my head on his shoulder. Even though I had slept not so long ago, I was exhausted like hell and I felt my eyes close shut.

TRANSLATION

"Hi, this is Laura. I'm sorry to say I have now passed away, I hope you'll miss me. Lisa, could you be a sweetheart and take all my plants too your place? I would hate to see them die now. If you are my beloved granddaughter calling, press your favorite number. I love you all and I hope my death won't be in vain. Bye bye you all, my will is in the big wardrobe in the hall."

"Nea, my darling. I really hope you will get this message. Since quite a lot people know your favorite number, I have only one thing to say to you: remember the old bedtime story I used to tell you. Everything you need is in it. If it comes to the point when you are really confused; call Lisa. I warn you that she doesn't know all, or even half of the information. She is also not one of us. I really love you sweetie, my little Nea. Did you knew I was the one who picked out your name? I know you are supposed to love your family all the same but the truth is I have always loved you the most. I'm sorry your mother has moved so far away and dragged you with her. I have always tried to watch over you and I am really sorry for what happened outside that cinema. Yes honey, I know everything… I have to go now but you will always be in my heart and I hope I will be in yours. Bye…"

I know I the worst updater in this century but I got some good news; I got 3 chapters ready, just need to finish the bedtime story. I would like to thank EVERYONE for the wonderful reviews, you rock! A big special thank you to Yue Moon who gave me a great idea for this chapter.

I'll be back, just like the terminator ;D

/Martyyna