Naruto: not mine
..."BUT!..." They all recoiled. Oh yes Ibiki would have been proud.
"I am afraid your Jōnin-sensei have informed me that they wish to meet and greet you themselves." He turned back towards the door as his students all collectively sat there in quiet outrage, ready to burst. Before they did Iruka cut them off, evil effect still up, "I'm sure they'll be here soon!" He said with a smile. Then he walked out, quite thoroughly amused at how bewildered he left his students.
And that my dear students. Is how you make an exit.
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Chapter 9 - Complicated
"The consequences of our actions are always so complicated, so diverse, that predicting the future is a very difficult business indeed."
― J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban
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Konoha Academy – Monday, 11:40am
Naruto was beaten and bleeding. He blamed his Jōnin-sensei for this.
It'd been two hours since Iruka had left them in a way that Naruto could only describe as 'epic, up to eleven'. To his credit he'd gone an entire hour without acting up, although this was mainly because Ino had launched a barrage of questions at him about the store that had apparently 'fixed him'.
After that, he and Kiba started causing mayhem and generally creating havoc. Sasuke and Neji had teamed up to snap at them to sit down and shut up. They had retaliated by both drawing out copies of 'Forbidden Clan Escapades, Volume 2: Only your eyes' and began performing dramatic readings from it with both Kiba and Naruto alternating between characters.
"'But Sasuke, you know we can't stay together! My clan would not hear of it!' Neji turned his back on Sasuke!" Kiba sounded off, barely keeping himself from collapsing in hysterics.
A sob could be heard from one of the girls. "I'm sorry but I can't help it! This bit always gets me!" She defended as friends turned to look at her.
Neji and Sasuke were going to kill them, that much was already set in stone. They had however, decided to hold off for a few minutes to see if they could glean any pride from the author's face in the room. Unfortunately (well, not for her), said author had failed the Genin exam and was currently at home, as were all the other students who'd failed.
Naruto continued, in much the same state as Kiba. " 'Oh Neji, I know they would! But I just don't care! Sasuke grabbed his shirt pulling Neji into his arms!" There was a collective gasp from five or six of the girls and he was sure one of them had squeaked. In all honesty, Naruto was already kind of regretting this. He knew that it was embarrassing Neji and Sasuke, but the degree to which some of the girls were enjoying their reading was a little... unnerving for Naruto.
Nevertheless, Naruto Uzumaki always saw a prank through to the end.
"Oh Sasuke!"
"Oh Neji!"
They were on the cusp of digging into the meat of the book and some of the girls looked to be on the verge of passing out. Neji and Sasuke jumped them. It wasn't pretty and the only reason they both got out of it with little more than black eyes and bloody noses was because one girl, they still didn't know who, had screamed 'this is so hot!' which had horrified the two prodigies enough to let them off.
"Naruto if you do that again you'll be running this country from a wheel-chair" Neji hissed, helping him up, "are we understood?"
Naruto, still with a grin plastered across his face, nodded and went to go help Kiba up after Sasuke had not been so charitable with him.
"Worth it?" Kiba gasped as he got to his feet.
"Not sure yet", Naruto responded. "If it takes me less than three days to heal then it will be."
Finally, the Jōnin-sensei stormed into the room at once, all looking a little disoriented. But there was a good reason for this.
This was because Iruka had been lying to his students when he told them that he could've announced their teams.
He had no idea what they were.
This is why.
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Jōnin lounge - 14 hours ago
There were many a pissed off Jōnin right now, all with one thing in common. They were waiting for Umino Iruka.
The teacher had been forced to change the teams around multiple times to appease certain Jōnin, which in turn pissed off others, causing the process to repeat itself. Kakashi Hatake was among the chief offenders, having had his team changed four times already. After learning that he would not be teaching the sole survivor of the Uchiha, he had immediately asked for a throw away team that he could easily fail so he could drop the idea of being a sensei altogether. Only the idea of teaching a certain someone else had kept him interested, so he then asked for the best possible team so he wouldn't have to work hard. Of course, then there were clashes and other problems and nobody knew what the hell was going on, even now, the night before they were supposed to go pick them up. At this rate it would be first come, first serve. Finally Iruka came into the room with... two other Iruka's? All of them were carrying boxes.
"Took you long enough." One Jōnin said.
Kakashi thought to address his own interest as well. "Iruka, I wasn't aware that you'd mastered the 'Shadow Clone' jutsu."
Iruka shrugged, "A person I'm my position tends to pick things up like that. Although I only have enough chakra for two or three."
"You… picked up an B-Class ninjutsu?", Kakashi uttered, not quite sure what to make of the man.
"Well the Tajū variation was off the table", he chuckled. "Not enough chakra".
"Not. What. I. Meant." Kakashi answered, a little irritated.
"I know" Iruka smiled again, "I learned it from a wayward student of mine who knew it. I managed to get him to show me how it works"
"Y..you have a student that can make shadow clones?" All of the Jōnin who had been ready to hit Kakashi for delaying the news were now paying very close attention to Iruka. That was the kind of student you wanted on a team.
"Anyway!" Iruka beamed, quite happy to leave the bastard Jōnin who had put so much pressure on him and made his life hell for the past few weeks in suspense. "It's time for the team formations!" The boxes were put down.
"I can't imagine that that information is going to take up more than one box at most" Yūhi Kurenai spoke, a little confused at Iruka's act. He looked over to address her. "You imagined correctly Kurenai. None of these have the team formations, but there's a good reason for that."
"Well let's hear them." One Asuma Sarutobi said, not at all amused.
"No"
"Excuse me?" This time it was Kakashi.
Iruka cleared his throat. "Over the past few weeks since Gai disrupted the team formations by swapping out one of his own members..."
All Jōnin, shot a derisive look at said man, who had remained quiet throughout the meeting, knowing he had pissed off quite a few highly trained assassins over recent weeks.
".. I've had to deal with most of you throwing demands at me for who you want in your teams. I've tried to be accommodating to you all, I really have but the extent to which your demands contradict each other is just intolerable."
Kurenai's eyes narrowed "and just what are you doing here then?"
Iruka turned to address her, "I am here to draw a line." He gestured to the boxes. "Inside those boxes, are the full reports of all passing Genin, including who I perceive they'll work best a a group with as well as psychological reports. Since I have been unable to properly accommodate you all, you may now decide amongst yourselves who will be on whose team."
Asuma's cigarette dropped from his mouth, "b..but we'll be here arguing all night if we do that!"
Iruka smile again which all jōnin were beginning to take as some kind of warning sign, "I recommend you get stated then" He turned from the Jōnin, rather happy with his performance, towards the door, but turned as he left.
"Good luck."
He left them to their fate, quite happy in the knowledge that the bastards had got what was coming to them.
If only Naruto knew who he'd inherited the title of number one prankster from. Oh of only he knew...
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Now
"WHY ARE YOU SO LATE", one pink haired girl and two blonds chorused, all looking at each other in confusion for a moment afterwards.
One silver haired shinobi, who between his forehead protector and his facemask, had nearly his entire head covered, stepped forward and spoke up. "I'm sorry students, unfortunately we all got side-tracked on the road of li.."
That was as far as he got before a, quite frankly, stunning woman with black hair and red eyes had come up behind him and whispered something in his ear very aggressively.
"A..ahem, w..what I meant to say, was that due to clerical errors which were in no way whatsoever our fault, we have been stuck debating the formations of the teams that you will be assigned to since yesterday evening, not to mention for the best part of today as well. As such, while we do apologise for being late, it really was beyond our control."
All of the Jōnin-sensei had winced, which Naruto found unnerving. There were concerned Genin everywhere as a man with a buzz shave stepped up. "ALRIGHT LET'S GET THIS OVER WITH! STAND UP WHEN I CALL YOUR NAMES! TEAM-"
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"Team 10!" A very dejected looking man, whom Naruto had noted was on his third cigarette by his turn had said." Chōji Akimichi, Kiba Inuzuka and Shino Aburame, with me!
Shikamaru looked over at his long time childhood friend Chōji. "Don't worry. It sucks that we're not on the same team but you'll be fine." Chōji nodded, still looking a little depressed, wandering after his two teammates. Kiba gave Naruto a mock salute and Shino was stoic as usual.
Huh, I hope Kiba does OK with them, Naruto thought.
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"… Team 8!" The red-eyed woman shouted. "If Ino Yamanaka and Sakura Haruno and Hinata Hyūga would please come with me." They all walked, Ino and Sakura already arguing, while Hinata threw an un-discernible expression in Naruto and Neji's direction. Neji pretended to ignore it as he was still unsure how to deal with his cousin these days and Naruto was oblivious.
Neji noticed Sasuke let out a visible sigh of relief. He turned to him, "That bad?
Sasuke just nodded using his hands to shield the tinniest smirk of relief from the rest of the class.
Neji already knew which team he would be on as he would be taking his place.
Oh you'll be begging for that team within a week, I assure you.
But there was no need to tell him that. After all, nobody had warned him about... green spandex.
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Things went on in this manner until there were only four of them left, which was weird to say the least. Only Neji knew what was going on and maybe Naruto if he cared to think about what Neji had said at earlier points in time... which meant that only Neji knew what was going on. Sasuke was looking even more serious than usual but Neji was convinced is was confusion. He briefly considered activating his Byakugan to find out, but wrote it off as a terrible abuse of one's kekkei genkai and a horrible invasion of a comrade's privacy in general. He knew that not all in his clan abided by this principle but he was going to try.
Two jōnin were left. The one-eyed one with the silver hair and Gai. Neji tried desperately not to make eye contact. The Gai spoke up first
"Sasuke Uchiha! I am here to collect you so that you may join my youthful team who have already been active Genin for around a year! I trust that the flames of your youth burn bright enough in you, so that you may elevate yourself to their skill in little time!" Said Uchiha was not having a good time interpreting this. On the one hand he had actively perked up knowing that he was being put on an already experienced team. On the other, the man sounded like... well he sounded like Gai.
Oh dear Kami. He's still as bad as ever, Neji thought, actively cringing
Sasuke got up and left with his new sensei, leaving Shikamaru, Naruto and Neji in the room with Kakashi. "Well then", the jōnin began.
"Team 7, come with me please"
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Kakashi was already irritated to an astonishing degree. His plans to unbalance his team by making them wait a day for the test and, in the process, make them go hungry when they skipped breakfast on his orders, had been offset by the Hokage's demand to have a full set of reports on his desk by the end of the day on who'd passed and who'd failed. Another of Iruka's revenge, plots he suspected. He made a mental noted that the Chūnin was, henceforth, not to be trifled with. When they'd all arrived at Training Ground 7 he took a moment to size up his students.
Naruto, the dead last was buzzing with energy and obviously ready to go. Nearly too unskilled to even be a ninja as of yet and overconfident. Iruka's report however had noted that his stamina was miles above any other student and that his chakra reserves had to 'be seen to be believed'. They would see how energetic he was when he had finished with him.
Neji Hyūga was currently moderating his blond teammate, telling him to be shut up while they waited for their sensei to speak. Kakashi was lucky that Gai had decided to skip the teamwork test last year so he'd be new to this as well. From what he had heard from Gai; he was Sasuke with an even bigger superiority complex, the skill to back it up (for a Genin) and a fatalist. Replacing the Genin of the year, he'd been thrown back into the academy for assaulting a teammate, something which Kakashi had detested about him already. He'd make sure the boy was sent back to the academy if he hadn't learned his lesson. There was no way he was allowing that to happen again.
Kakashi looked over the final member of the team:
Shikamaru Nara. Test score level: Naruto.
That was until a few weeks ago, after which, his grades had been hitting constantly above 90% like it was going out of style. The report apologised for a lack of extra information, noting that he'd likely been coasting and that the true extent of his abilities were, as of yet, unknown. Kakashi had secretly hidden this little amendment from the other jōnin to make it look like he was taking a dropout (as a favour to them of course). He was always intending on taking Naruto for… certain reasons, and was, up until a few weeks ago, fine taking the last Uchiha as well. He hadn't really cared much who took the last spot but was pleasantly surprised at the element to coming into play.
"Let's start by introducing ourselves shall we?" The three Genin sat on the stairs leading down to the grounds. "Give us an example" Shikamaru sounded lazily, not looking to expend any more effort than required.
"Well… alright. I'm Kakashi Hatake. I have no desire to tell you my likes and dislikes… My dreams for the future… Hmm… As for my hobbies… I have lots of hobbies…"
"Pointless exercise if our teacher doesent even take it seriously" Naruto muttered.
"It's not for my benefit" Kakashi returned. "Now, it's your turn"
Shikamaru sighed, deciding to get his out of the way first, " I'm Shikamaru Nara. I like naps, watching clouds and playing shōgi. My dislikes are troublesome morons, and mysteries which I can't figure out", he shot Naruto a glance but it was unreadable which of the two categories the blond fitted into. "My dreams for the future are to become a good ninja, retire after making my name, and then live out my days with my hobbies." He then slumped back. Nobody was looking particularly impressed with him, although Naruto had just sighed, then stepped up next.
"My name's Naruto Uzumaki! I like cup ramen, but I like Ichiraku Ramen even more! Oh I also like Neji and Shika I guess" Neji arched an eyebrow before muttering about being an amendment after ramen. Kakashi didn't see this coming. He'd even suspected that the two would despise each other from day one. "My dislikes are shitty seals and waiting three minutes for ramen to cook."
Does he only think about ramen? The others thought in unison.
"My dreams…"
Neji cringed.
"My future dream is to be the greatest Hokage! Then the whole village will stop disrespecting me and start treating me right! Oh! and I'll also change a buncha' crappy old stiff that shoulda been changed ages ago anyway," he announced while grinning, glancing at Neji for the last part.
That was… odd
Finally Neji spoke up, "My name is Neji Hyūga. My hobbies mainly include meditation. My likes include wild birds and herring soba." He glanced back at Naruto. "I also dislike, 'shitty seals' ". He chuckled to himself. "My dreams for the future include becoming a jōnin and making that idiot Hokage."
Kakashi nearly fell over.
Shikamaru just rose an eyebrow, having already known, but still not knowing why.
What the hell Gai! I skipped out on his profile in confidence of your analysis! This is nothing like what you mentioned! How can he be arrogant when he just pledged to help a ninja, leagues below him in skill for that matter, into the most prestigious position in the village! And he sounds an awful lot like he knows about the Kyūbi! This is the kind of shit I need to be told about!
"Ahem" Kakashi regained his composure, removing two bells from his pocket.
"Let's begin the final test"
[NOTE: FOR THOSE RE-READING AND THINKING THAT THE STORY SEEMS A LITTLE DIFFERENT, THIS IS AN UPDATED VERSION WITH (HOPEFULLY) BETTER GRAMMAR]
A/N Not nearly as much fun writing this one after the dramatic reading as I had to follow some of the stations of cannon. I'm glad I mixed the teams up. I was originally just going to swap Sakura for Shikamaru but I figured I might as well let all hell break loose. Next Chapter. The Test!... kind of...
Reviews!:
SuperVegitoFAN- It starts at episode 176 of shippuden and I think it goes on for three episodes. Great mini arc if you ask me.
littlegirl99 - Thank you? Not really sure how I weigh up over the yaoi stuff but I'll keep writing and I hope you keep enjoying reading.
Rika-chan24 - Thank you, I just did.
Sasha-hime - Sasuke and Neji have been switched with Neji staking his spot and vice-versa. Also many students passed the initial Genin exams, I was the final teamwork tests given by the jonin that tripped up most of them.
anjel- Thank you! I'll give the OC thing some thought (i assumed you intended to write OC instead of IC)
Cobra0000- Thanks for reviewing, let me know what you think when you've read the rest.