It was just a quiet Wednesday night. I was sprawled out on the sofa, books and pages of notes spread out around me, Phil was in the corner editing his latest video at the table, and Dan was hunched over on the beanbag playing Sonic with the sound turned down low.
Every so often the companionable quiet would be interrupted by Phil soliciting an opinion on an editing choice, me sharing some wacky anecdote from my reading, or, most frequently, a frustrated outburst from Dan.
Obviously it was nothing glamorous or outrageously fun, but I was struck with an intense feeling of contentment.
A few weeks ago, I would have been cooped up alone in my room or the library, with few friends and little to occupy me beyond coursework. Now I had this fabulous new friend and a truly amazing boyfriend, not to mention Jane and all of the other people I'd met through them.
I finally felt like I had built a life in England, and it was so much better than anything I'd dared hope for. Just as their videos had made life in the States a little more bearable, hanging out with Dan and Phil made even revising enjoyable.
Things had been a little bit tentative between Phil and I after the whole "I swear I'm not a secret stalker" debacle, but it hadn't taken too long to get back to where we'd been before that all went down. Except it was actually even better, because I didn't have that niggling guilt in the back of my head.
And we could actually talk about YouTube stuff, which, let's be honest, is a huge part of the boys' lives. I smiled into my books as I remembered the night that Phil and I had spent cuddled up in his bed on a laptop while Phil interrogated me about all my favorite AmazingPhil videos and teased me about being such a fangirl.
All in all, let's just say I was pretty much deliriously happy.
While I was busy surreptitiously staring at my boyfriend's sexy "editing concentration" face instead of the words on the page in front of me, there was a knock on the door. Just as Dan shouted, "Not it!" the unlocked door opened to reveal Jane.
"I heard that mister!" she called out, but her stern tone was belied by the grin on her face. "Hey guys, how are you?"
"Sorry, babe. If I'd known it was you coming over, I would have made the effort, I swear."
Dan finally hoisted himself off the floor to greet her with a kiss on the cheek.
"Likely story," Jane teased. "But, I'm willing to let it slide because I am here to kidnap you for dinner, and it just wouldn't be as much fun alone.
"My friend had to give up his reservations at that new swanky sushi bar on High Street so I generously offered to take them off him," she explained. "But we have to be there by 7:30, so you'd better scuttle off and change into something more public-appropriate," Jane continued, eyeing Dan's mismatched t-shirt and track pants.
Dan tossed her a mock-affronted look, but then headed back to his room to change. Jane came over and flopped down onto the sofa next to me, sending a few notebooks sliding to the ground.
"So, what have you been up to dearest? I feel like it's been ages! Too busy with tall, pale, and handsome over there?" Jane flashed a cheesy, innocent smile at Phil, who just turned a bit pink and stared directly at the computer in front of him.
"Yeah, something like that. Though school's been pretty crazy too. I'm about 10 pages into a 30-page paper right now, so this is basically my life at the moment." I gestured to the sea of papers and books surrounding me. "Any juicy tidbits from your life you can distract me with?"
A few minutes of catching up later, Dan re-emerged, looking rather dapper, if I may say, in a black button-down and dark skinny jeans that almost entirely covered his ass. Clearly, he was making an effort.
Judging by the look on Jane's face as she saw him come out of the hallway, she definitely agreed.
"Hmm, don't you clean up well." Jane winked at him playfully as she pulled herself up off the couch.
"Right back at you, babe," Dan said, slipping an arm around her waist.
"Alright then kids, we'll be off. Don't get into too much trouble here all alone." Jane raised her eyebrows in my and Phil's direction.
I had to laugh a bit at that. She was being relentless tonight. Somebody's in a good mood.
"I'm sure we'll somehow manage without you," Phil joked. "Have fun guys!"
"Yeah, have a great time. I'll text you later, Jane, and we can do coffee or something this week!"
After the two of them were out the door, I slid the miniature library from my lap and padded over to stand behind Phil. Running my hands over his shoulders - damn were they nice - I bent down to ask, "Think you've had enough editing for a bit? I know I could do with a study break."
Phil tipped his head up to look up at me. "I think I could be persuaded," he said, arching back to capture my lips in a kiss. I was still just a little bit in awe that I was actually allowed to do this - just wander up to Amazing-freaking-Phil in my sock feet and start making out with him - but any self-reflection was driven from my mind as Phil stood up. He turned to face me, his lips quickly returning to my own and his hand coming to rest on either side of my jaw as he pushed me back towards the wall behind me.
A few heated moments later, when I pulled back a fraction to catch my breath, Phil admitted that he'd been silently wishing Dan out of the apartment for a few hours now. Don't get me wrong, the two of them are still pretty much inseparable, but sometimes a little privacy is essential.
I was a little caught off-guard by his eagerness, but it didn't take me long to catch up. I guess it really is the quiet ones you've got to look out for.
"You want to take this to the bedroom?" I asked, still breathing heavily.
"As much as I really want to throw you down on the breakfast bar right now, I think Dan would appreciate it if we did."
That last bit was mumbled a bit against the neck of my skin between kisses, as he continued running his hands along my sides.
I moaned in the back of my throat as he grazed a particularly sensitive bit of my neck and I felt a shiver run through me.
After enjoying the sensation for a moment, I pulled myself together enough to tug Phil by the hand back towards his room. Once through the door, we were back to kissing feverishly. Phil backed me up in the direction of his bed. As the back of my knees hit its edge, Phil gave my shoulders a little push and I flopped down on my back, giggling a little as I fell. Phil paused for a moment, stood over me with an expression of intense desire on his face that I was still beyond surprised I had the ability to inspire in this man.
I reached a hand out, intending to drag him down on top of me.
"C'mere, baby."
A little while and some, ahem, vigorous activity later, we were laid out on top of the now uncovered bed, silent for a moment as we let our breathing slow to normal and the flush fade from our cheeks.
After a minute, the breeze from the open window across my damp skin made me shiver. I rolled into Phil's side and snuggled up to his chest. He settled an arm around me and reached down with his free hand to tug the discarded duvet up to half cover us.
"That was amazing, but now I just want to lay here forever."
"I think I would be okay with that."
As once again that evening the rather foreign feeling of actual unmarred happiness washed over me, my stupid brain couldn't help but remind me of how fragile my relationship with Phil really was. Aside from the innumerable things that can go wrong in any relationship, there was Phil's rather public lifestyle and his fans, and my limited term student visa, even if that was thinking way too far ahead. And although we'd gotten past my initial lie of omission, I couldn't help but worry that inequity in our relationship could still come back to haunt me.
Thankfully, a stray thought while I was pondering the inevitable if/when discussion over "coming out" to the fans pulled me off the anxious path of my thoughts.
"You know what I just thought of?" I giggled. "We have the best ship name ever." I paused for dramatic effect.
"You could even say it's phate. Get it?"
Phil groaned at my pun, rolling his eyes at the ceiling. But then he pulled me closer and drew me into a kiss.
Yes, I'd have to say that fate was definitely on my side, whatever the future may hold.
A/N: So that's the end! I apologize if that was rather anti-climatic for how exceedingly long in coming it was, but I'm just happy to have actually made it to the end. It was a little touch and go with this story at times, but I learned a lot writing this and had fun working on it. Thanks so much to everybody who's read this story, and even more to those who reviewed. It makes me very happy :)