Chapter 10
As I walked away with Worthington, I thanked God, Allah, the Olympic pantheon, the Norse gods, and whatever other divine powers there are that I left my jacket in the office the day before. It was draped over my arm, which I held in front of me, effectively concealing the raging hard on I was trying, and hopelessly failing, to will away.
It was a short walk to the nearby pub, and I was grateful that we were able to find a booth in a dark corner to help me hide my condition. I hoped the normality of our usual haunt would snap me out of it.
I hated walking out on Sookie like that, but I had scrawled Worthington a note when I dropped his manuscript back off, to check with me before he left so we could have a drink and talk about it. I hadn't planned on losing my mind in the interim, but damn it, she called to me like a siren, and since I, apparently, dropped my brain somewhere down in my dick, I let her lead me right into the rocks.
The waitress came by and took our drink orders. Worthington ordered his usual black and tan, and he raised a brow at me when I ordered a double shot of whiskey.
"Exams?" He asked knowingly.
"You have no fucking idea." I replied.
"Actually, I do, but it looked like you had some uh, nice help there," he said with a smirk and a wink.
"Eh, she's just an over-zealous coed looking for some extra credit," I said waving my hand dismissively, derision clear in my tone. "At least I won't have to grade all of them." I hated belittling her like that, but shit, I couldn't let Worthington even begin to think that something was happening between Sookie and me.
I mean, what…[EDIT] SEE NOTE IN CHAPTER 2
It would take all of five minutes after he left me for Worthington to start spreading that around and, five hours later I'd be brought up before the disciplinary committee and praying that I could still get a job at the local junior college.
What was I doing? This was beyond insane. I was risking everything I had worked for. I'm the youngest professor ever to be offered tenure here. I was published. After completing extensive revisions, I had turned my doctoral dissertation into a manuscript that had been published by Stanford University Press and then honored by the MLA with the Prize for a First Book. I was also well respected by my peers. Perhaps I had a reputation as a bit of a Lothario, since I never attended an event with the same woman, but I was discreet and kept it out of the school.
Until that evening. She was breaching my defenses, ones I had worked hard at creating, and I had no idea how, or why. She utterly stole my resolve and self-control, like a succubus. I only wished I could blame it on such absurd mythology, but I couldn't. It was my own weakness, my own selfish, libido-driven idiocy that was to blame. I was a fucking bastard who was thinking with his dick, and the only thing it was thinking about was getting inside that incredible space I'd just walked away from.
I walked away from. I couldn't even begin to imagine what she was thinking of me right then. Screw Worthington; she should have reported me to the disciplinary committee herself. I was an asshole of unmitigated proportions. Why didn't I just tell Worthington that something came up? I could have lied. I didn't have to walk out on her. Yes you did, because you got scared. You're a coward. I growled at my own subconscious. And shit! Did you really tell her to finish the exams by morning? I wasn't just an asshole and a coward; I was the most selfish piece of crap on the earth at that moment.
I realized that Worthington had asked me a question, and I searched my mind for the appropriate response. I rubbed my face, trying to snap out of it. Big…[EDIT] SEE NOTE IN CHAPTER 2
I had to get out of there. I made up some excuse, promised Worthington we'd discuss his manuscript some more another time, and hurried home. When I got there, I threw my jacket on the back of a chair and sank down heavily onto my couch. I…
[EDIT] SEE NOTE IN CHAPTER 2