WARNING: GRAPHIC SEXUAL CONTENT, REFERENCES TO VIOLENCE AND ABUSE, BODY SHAMING, BULLYING, SELF HARM, ATTEMPTED SUICIDE, AND LANGUAGE. IF YOU ARE UNDERAGE OR DO NOT ENJOY IT DO NOT READ.

Chapter Nine.

Jacob's warm hands coaxed me awake and his worried eyes felt like they were looking into my soul. Slowly, I slipped out of his car and remembered Lauren and I's shared, friends.

In my daze, I quickly pulled out my phone and called both Mike and Angela. I was half tempted to call Eric and Tyler, but I knew keeping the circle as small as possible would be better for her. Mike was sleeping while Angela was out on a date with her boyfriend, Jooyoung. After promising to keep them both updated, I put my phone back in my pocket and closed my eyes.

One breath, two. Everything would be alright.

"You ready to head inside?" Jacob asked as he raised a hand and rubbed my back. I was silent for a second before nodding. "Come on, then. You too, Paul."

Paul followed quietly behind us as we made it inside. My brain felt like sludge and Jacob must have done the talking because soon Lauren entered the lobby with a neutral expression. Her arm was in a powder pink cast and sling and her hair was cut haphazardly.

She looked like shit, honestly.

Before I could open my mouth, Paul made a croaking sound in the back of his throat and quickly engulfed Lauren into his arms. He kissed all over her face and she cried.

"L, why didn't you call me? You know you can come to me if you start to feel yourself getting bad again."

"Leah said that you and Jessica were better off without me."

"I could never live without you. I love you so damn much, you have no idea." They kissed again. Jacob's hand intertwined with mine.

"You mean that?"

"I would never lie to you. You're the one who left me last time, remember?"

"Rachel is better for you…"

"She's gay and has a fiancée. And I think I can choose who I want to be with."

Before they can kiss again, Jacob coughs and says, "So, we should head out?" They peel away from each other and Lauren and I make eye contact. My stomach flips.

As I open my mouth to speak, she runs full force at me and hugs me tight with her good arm before starting to cry. I freeze at the contact before returning the gesture.

She sniffles before saying, "I'm sorry I was such a bitch."

"I'm sorry I was an asshole and never texted you back."

"I deserved it, I called you fat."

"I kind of am."

"No, you aren't, but we can agree to disagree," She turned and kissed my cheek lightly. "I love you, bitch."

"I love you too, bitch."

Jacob coughed again. "We should, uh, go…"

Lauren and I pulled away from each other and Paul quickly took my place.

"Do you have a place to go? Are your parents awake?"

She shook her head, "They kind of… kicked me out."

"What?! Why?"

She shrugged sheepishly before explaining. Lauren didn't want to go to school, she didn't feel happy anymore. Her meds weren't working.

But all they said was to get over it or get out. So, she got out.

"They never fucking cared about me, anyway. But Peyton's stuck there all alone… I'm the worst big sister ever."

"Hey, listen," Paul turned her head to face his. "You need to be in good health to be of any help to her. Don't run yourself until you're dead." Then they were kissed again.

Jacob sighed and shook his head before turning to me.

"She can stay with us if she wants. I can take the couch."

"No can do, boss. I've got it under control, " Paul exclaimed before kissing her again. I was starting to get sick of the PDA, but I also felt very happy that they had found each other again. "Why don't you both head home and get some shut eye?"

"Can do. Come on, baby. Let's get some rest."

Jacob went for my hand, but I side stepped him and turned to Lauren with curious eyes.

"Lauren?"

She nodded at me. "I'll come to see you tomorrow and we can talk about everything. Don't worry, I'll be okay for now."

"Promise?"

"Pinky promise." I pulled her into another hug before saying goodbye. When Jacob and I got outside, I suddenly remembered something.

"How are they going to get home if we take my car back?"

"It might be a while until they get home. Want me to leave the car for them?"

"Then how would we get home?"

"You can ride on my back."

Huh?

At my expression, he giggled. "You know… when I'm a wolf…"

Oh… OH.

"Uh, alright."

"You cool with that?"

"Yeah, just don't go too fast?"

Jacob went back into the hospital for a moment to drop off my keys before coming back. Then he pulled me into the forest.

"Okay, you wait right here. I'm going to walk back a bit for phasing, okay?"

I nodded, gulping, "Okay."

He walked backward, step by step, until suddenly stopping and stripping down. When his clothes were tied to his ankles, his body morphed into a large reddish-brown wolf.

I only peed a little bit in shock, I promise.

When the horse-like wolf was kneeling, I slowly stepped forward. Then I took another step and another. Once my hand was touching Jacob's soft fur, I let out a breath I hadn't noticed I was holding.

Then I hopped onto his back and held on for dear life.

We sped off like a sports car, and I screeched in surprise. It was so nerve-wracking that I couldn't remember most of the trip. Once we were in the trees behind the small, red house he stopped. I climbed back down, almost tripping as I tried to get feeling back into my legs.

Jacob backed up again before phasing and then he was human again. He yanked on his clothes and then we made our way into the house.

Inside his bedroom, we sat down side by side. Jacob took in a deep breath.

"You should probably know the whole truth."

My eyes bugged out of my head as I yelped, "What is there beside you changing into a giant wolf?" He scratched the back of his neck, clenched his jaw.

"Uhm, well…"

"Just spit it out, Jake," I exclaimed, heart beating erratically.

"You know the Cullen's?"

"Yes?"

What did they have to do with this?

"They're vampires."

"What."

The room became silent and I could hear my heart pounding in my ears.

Jacob broke the silence as he climbed onto the mattress and disappeared under the covers. "Yes. Well, goodnight." I screeched in reply and yanked the comforter off the bed with crazed eyes.

"Oh no, you are going to explain this one, mister!" He huffed before sitting back up, ran a hand through his hair.

"Back way when mu ancestor Ephraim Black made a treaty with the Cullen's. They were not to hunt on Quileute lands or turn a human. If they did, they would be killed."

"The same Cullen's…" that I had class with. That I had totally wanted to bang when they moved to school. That I was jealous of because they were so beautiful and graceful.

"Excluding Alice and Jasper."

"For real?"

"Yes."

"And did Bella?" Did Bella freaking Swan know? And she still dated Edward? Damn, a ride or die, bitch. Props to her.

"She knew. Didn't you ever see that weird scar on her wrist?"

My mind races I thought of the weird mark she always tried to cover up with her sweater sleeves, that peeked out sometimes when she wasn't concentrating on it.

"Wait… did she get bit?"

"She was attacked. And Edward sucked it out. He wasn't keen on her becoming one of them."

"I can see why…" Just the thought of Bella drinking out of some guys neck made me queasy. I mean, love prevails and all that shit, but killing people was horrible.

Without warning Jacob stood up, expression enraged.

"Why do you hate her so much?" He spat, and I stiffened at his tone. "All you ever do is put her down! You don't even know her."

"I don't hate her hate her. I just don't like her."

"Why?"

Was there some sort of code where I had to have a reason not to like someone? I was half-tempted to say that she was a selfish girl who used people.

Instead, I just asked in annoyance, "Why do you ask such stupid questions, dip shit?"

Jacob's nostrils flared in reply and he clenched his fists. Why was he getting so angry all of a sudden? Did he even have the right to be angry at me right now? I almost lost one of my best friends and here he was pissed at me for talking shit about the girl that friend zoned him!

"You know, maybe you could learn a thing or two from her about kindness. At least she doesn't act like a spoiled brat."

"Why don't you just marry her then if you love her so much? Oh, wait! She chose Edward! A vampire!" My own hands squeezed into tiny fists. I only felt a tiny bit of guilt at the way his expression fell for a second before his anger returned.

If he wanted to hurt me, he was going to get it right back.

"Sometimes you act like one of them. It's insane."

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"I'm saying you're a cold-hearted bitch. No wonder Lauren has a broken arm now. You couldn't even answer her messages. Bella would never do that." He said darkly and suddenly, I wasn't mad anymore. The fire hot rage seeped from my pores and was replaced with shock and pain.

Even as I tried to blink them away, tears appeared. I covered my face with my hands and sobbed, unable to hold it in any longer.

I was exhausted and felt horrible about what happened to Lauren. She had been like my sister since I moved to Forks. Had listened to countless rants and gone through countless gallons of ice cream when we got our hearts broken. Every birthday, holiday, teenage phase.

And I was almost the reason she had died.

"Jessica?" Jacob asks in a small voice. He didn't sound angry anymore, but I didn't care.

I just cried and cried and cried.

Was I going to turn into a big crocodile tear one day? The world may never know.

"Jessie, baby, I shouldn't have said that-" As his hand touches my shoulder, I rip away from him. His words cut off mid-sentence as I stare up at him accusingly.

"Yeah, you shouldn't have. But you did. You shouldn't have gotten so angry about me not favoring Bella, but you had to make me feel so bad that I cried."

"I just don't understand why-"

"Who cares! It doesn't matter if I hate her or not. That's my choice, not yours. You don't get to punish me because I don't like her. And honestly, I don't understand why you still stick up for her."

He sighs, running a hand through his hair. "She's my best friend."

"No, she was your best friend. Before she left you. You say that I'm not as kind as Bella or as good of a person as her, but you know what I did that she never could?"

"What?"

"I chose you." Slowly, I wrap my arms around his waist. His arms fall limply at his sides as I nuzzle my face into his stomach. "You know, I could have gotten back with Mike or fucked whoever I wanted, but I chose you. And Bella didn't. She left you when you needed her most. She disregarded you and abandoned you while I stayed."

His arms wrap around me and hold me to him. His body shudders.

"I-I'm sorry, Jessica. I'm so sorry," Jacob sobs and I put my hand under his shirt and rub at his back, hoping to soothe him.

"Let it out, baby."

"She really fucked me up, didn't she?" He chuckled humorlessly.

"We're both a little fucked up, honestly."

"At least we have each other."

Jacob pulled away from me and leans to press a kiss to my lips. Two, three. As he pulls away, he nods towards the bed.

"Let's head to bed. I'll explain everything else in the morning."

"You promise?" He nods, kisses me again.

"I promise."

We shuffled under the covers. With his arms wrapped around my waist, I lose myself in dreamland.

You would be amazed at how many diabetic-friendly recipes there are in cookbooks. After running to the Ateara General Store for a few things, I went to work making a hash brown breakfast casserole. From talking to Jacob, I knew that Billy dealt with a lot of health problems that caused a lot of strain on his son.

With everything stressing Jacob out right now, I thought doing this little may alleviate some strain on him.

Once the food was made, I knocked on Billy's bedroom door.

"You awake, Billy?"

He coughed in reply before saying in a tired voice, "Yeah, just getting dressed." There was another grunt.

"Are you decent?"

"Yes, I am. Why do you need to know this-" His words cut off as I opened the door, glanced inside. Billy was struggling with the button on his flannel shirt, fingers jumbling around. "What are you doing, Jessie?"

I smiled and walked over to him before buttoning it up for him. Then I grabbed his brush from the nightstand and softly brushed out the knots and tangles. When his hair was silky smooth, I handed him his hat and stepped back.

"Let's go enjoy some breakfast, shall we?"

"Sounds like a plan." Billy grins before putting his hat on and following me out of the room. Back in the kitchen, I serve us both and then cover the rest up.

Jacob is still in bed and I can hear him snoring from the other room. The sound gives me a warm, pleasant feeling.

Wow, I am fucking a werewolf. I, Jessica Stanley, am a monster fucker. Who would have thought?

"This is delicious, what is it?"

"Hash brown casserole. I found the recipe this morning and thought it sounded yummy, so here we are," I exclaimed as I swallowed a bite, smiling at him. "For dinner tomorrow, I'm thinking of making a vegetable stew."

"I haven't had that in a while."

We ate in silence and when we both finished, I washed our dishes and put the leftovers into the fridge. An hour later Billy leaves and I situate myself on the living room couch and watch reruns of Friends until Jacob finally wakes up.

With a messy bedhead and sleepy eyes, he stumbles in and leans over the back of the couch, wraps his arms around me and kisses my head.

"Morning, baby," He whispers in a drowsy voice. I hum in reply, grabbing his arm and feeling the warmth of it. "How did you sleep?"

"Fine. How about you? Feel rested?" He nods, kissing my cheek this time.

"As much as I can. Felt good to sleep in."

As Jacob pulls away, I stand up and follow him into the kitchen. "I made a hash brown casserole. Want me to heat you some up?"

"Don't worry, I can manage." He finishes his sentence with a yawn, and I roll my eyes at him. Pushing him into a kitchen chair, I shake my head.

"No, you sit, and I'll serve. And you can tell me more about those pesky vampires you were freaking out about last night."

We fell into easy conversation as the food warmed up, and I asked whatever questions came to mind.

"So, they don't eat people? Just suck a deer like a Capri sun?"

Jacob chuckled, nose scrunching in disgust. "I-uh, I guess you could say that."

"And Carlisle and Esme aren't really their parents?"

"Nope. Well, maybe Edward because he's still a kid. But the big one and the blonde twins are twenty."

I sighed as the microwave dinged and then made sure Jacob's food was thoroughly heated up before setting it in front of him. As he dug in, I let myself freak out a bit.

The Cullen's were vampires. Some of the Quileute teenagers were werewolves that hunted vampires. This was like some damn supernatural teenage romance novel.

But my existential crisis stopped as a thought came to my head.

"So, Bella's a monster fucker?" I implored and Jacob choked on his food.

"E-excuse me!" He coughed out and I pounded on his back

"You heard me." I sent him a cheeky grin and he glared and wiped his mouth off with a paper towel I hand him. "Anyway, it's pretty cool that you're out there protecting people, you know? You're basically a superhero."

"Or a freak of nature…" Jacob's words felt heavy as the settled into the air, and I immediately cupped his face and kissed his lips.

Pulling away, I glared before saying, "Hey! No, this is a safe space. No putting your wolf down. You're my baby boy and do not deserve this type of slander."

"I'm your baby boy?"

"Didn't I just say that?" The smile that enveloped his face had to be illegal. With my heart pounding out of my chest, I pulled away and took his empty plate to wash. Anything to distract me from his sunshine face.

But then the lug wrapped his arms around my waist and leaned his chin against my shoulder and everything felt so right.

"You should know about imprinting, Jess."

"The thing that baby ducks do? What about it?"

"Well, when a werewolf finds his soulmate he imprints. It doesn't have to be romantic at all, Paul imprinted on my sister who has a girlfriend, and Quil imprinted on Emily's niece, Claire. We all thought it was nasty and were super worried, but then her parents divorced, and her father left and he's been a surrogate father to her, in a way."

"So, it gives you what you need. Not really what you want?"

"Exactly. Before Sam and Emily were together, he had been engaged to Leah. Emily and Leah are cousins. So it was a shock. But Emily needed a good guy and Sam needed someone different. He and Leah fought a lot and it was tumultuous and a bit toxic."

I turned off the water and dried my hands. "I see."

"Jared had been getting tutored by this girl for months before he imprints, and suddenly one day he looks at her and wham, imprints. She already had a mega crush on him so it's kind of worked out. They're dating and they're both asexual, so it fits."

"But you didn't imprint on me…"

"No, I didn't. Or on Bella."

"Did you want to?"

"Honestly, no. I never want to imprint either. It takes your choices away, even if it isn't romantic. You basically have to be that person's rock and be there for them no matter what. It can be daunting."

"I see."

"Are you mad?"

"No, I'm just grateful that you didn't imprint on me."

"You are?"

"Yes… I like what we have and how it grew. And I was wondering if perhaps you wanted to…" I cut myself off, fear choking my throat.

"Wanted to what?"

I ignored him and wiped off the counter again, resisting my flight instinct. I was half-tempted to fight, though.

"Jessica, answer me. Please," He pleaded, grabbing the rag from my hands. I took a breath, wiped my wet hands on the hand towel, and then turned to face him.

"O-okay, fine. Uh, I was wondering if you would perhaps want to-"

A knock on the door cut off my words.

The silence that follows is daunting, to say the least.

Haha, we could never work out because we hate each other, I think to myself as I went towards the door. This is just some friends with benefits thing that will end once I go off to college.

Jacob grabs my wrist, spins me around to face him. His gaze is overpowering.

"Please."

Jacob held my heart, that much was true. But I also knew he didn't feel the same. Never would. Because who would ever pick someone like me.

Another knock at the door made us both jump.

As his hand burned my arm, I couldn't help but squeak out, "Lauren is coming over. That's probably her."

Please, ask me again. Ask me again, Jacob. I love you, I love you, I love you.

But, he doesn't.

Jacob lets go without a word and heads to his bedroom. I'm left wondering whether I did something wrong.

After, waving passively at the both of us, Jacob exited. Lauren and I sat down at the table and I fed her food. Her crazy haircut job had been turned into a short pixie cut. It looked really good on her.

"Come in, baby boo. Let momma feed you."

"Damn, I missed your cooking. Ever since that shithole moved in with you, you've stopped."

"I know," I sighed sadly. "But that problem was taken care of itself so now chef Stanley is back in business."

"Cause you're living with Jacob?"

I nodded, pursed my lips. "Mhm." But I missed my home and my mom. Being reminded of the fact reminded me of the hole in my chest that had yet to be filled. "So, you said we were going to talk about everything."

"Yes, I did. Okay, let me start at the beginning."

Lauren hated college, plain and simple. She was forced to go into medical school to please her parents and although she actually loved the classes, her mental health was taking a toll on her. She felt sad and angry all the time. From a young age, she dealt with mental illness and her parents barely paid any mind to her problem.

So, she started to hate her classes. She and Tyler broke up after she ended things abruptly and then she wouldn't leave her room for a week straight until her roommate dragged her out. Then she started becoming erratic, doing things she knew she shouldn't.

"I tried cocaine, actually. Some kid offered it at a party, so I thought why not?"

But Lauren didn't start using drugs, no, she just drank a lot. Cut her classes. But then she had to come home and visit her folks again.

Mike was right there, single and ready to mingle.

"I just wanted to feel something other than self-hatred, you know? And Mike's a dumbass, but he's nice."

"He is." I nod, looking down at my empty plate somberly.

Lauren nibbles on her lip, brushes her hair from her shoulders. "After that, I went off the deep end. And here we are?"

"How are you right now? Better?"

"Being with Paul helps. He understands better than a lot of people." She had a sad faraway look in her eye. I didn't press the issue. "But I'm not better, you know? I still feel horrible. My brain is a fucking mess and it keeps telling me to do these horrible things. So, first on the list is to get back into therapy and back on my medication. So, I can function."

"Will you go back to school?"

"I want to. I liked it a lot. But could someone like me really be a doctor? I mean, I was such a mean bitch in high school. I'm still a mean bitch."

"But bitches get shit done," I exclaim with a grin, and she laughs.

"True, true. Bitches get shit done."

"If it makes you feel any better, I was also a mean bitch in high school. Especially to Bella."

"Oh shit, Bella Swan- no, wait. Cullen. Bella Cullen. How is she?"

"Gone like a bat out of hell. Living the lavish life with her new god-like hubby while the rest of us try to keep up."

She laughs again, her voice kind of scratchy. "What's got you so bitter, baby? You still pining after that jackass Edward?"

"Ew, no. I have taste now, thank you very much." I pause, scratch the back of my neck. "And, ugh, I don't know. I'm just jealous, I guess."

"Jealous?"

"She didn't even have to try, and people loved her. Everyone did! My own boyfriend did, you know? And I'm used to being the DUFF, but it was so hard."

"You aren't a DUFF. Far from it."

"Whatever. I know that I should have tried to be a better friend to her, like Angela, but I didn't. And she didn't either. I guess I'm more angry at myself, you know? Because part of me knows I wasn't nice, but I also know that she wasn't either. We were all just stupid kids being assholes without really thinking about it."

I gulp in a deep breath, feeling a bit woozy. Where did all of that come from? Was I really opening right now over dirty plates in Jacob's kitchen?

Lauren lays a hand on mine, squeezes it tight.

"All of what you just said? All valid. And all true."

"Thank you."

"So, what are you going to do about it?"

"Huh?"

"You seem to still be living in the past, still angry over it," She paused, and I nodded dumbly, not understanding what she was getting at. "So, are you just going to keep bitching about it? Or are you going to move on? Because this is holding you back and you already have enough bullshit to deal with."

Before I knew it, I was crying.

"Damn it, why do I always cry?" Lauren chuckled, rubbing my hand again. With my free one, I rubbed my eyes, sucking in a shaky breath. "You're probably right. I should move on, let bygones be bygones, you know?"

"Mhm, mhm."

"But that's not going to fix the fact that my mom hates me, or my dad beat me or that I will never get into college and that I hate my stupid diner job serving assholes that look down on me just because of what they've heard and presumed."

"You could quit. I say, fuck 'em."

"How will I pay for school then?"

"Financial aid?" She questioned almost sarcastically." Since you aren't living with daddy dearest any longer, you can apply. Your SAT scores were awesome, and you are so smart, girl! Don't let silly shit like this hold you back. Just keep chugging."

I smiled weakly, eyes still watery. "Just keep chugging."

"And Angela and I will be here. And Jacob. And it seems like Leah will be there for you too. She seems to really like you."

Leah, the one who had talked to Lauren on my phone. Before she…

"Speaking of Leah-"

"I don't blame her. I'd hate her too if she was trying to sleep with my fiancé."

My eyes bugged out of my head. "You and Sam?"

"Nothing happened, he pushed me away. But I did try and kiss him after Tyler and I had that big fight. And then a few months later, I tried the same with Jared. But instead, I slept with Paul."

"And then you ended up getting back with Tyler when Jacob's sister moved back…"

"Yep. I was very self-destructive, as you know, and I don't condone what I did. Once I get more mentally sound, I'll probably go and apologize."

I put my free hand on out hand pile and squeezed. "I'll be right by your side through it, bitch. We just have to keep chugging, right?"

"Uhuh. Keep chugging."

We sat and talked for a while until Paul and Jacob came back, and then we settled in front of the television to watch a movie. Everything was calm until Leah showed up.

After that, things went crazy.

"What the hell are you doing here?" Paul asked, body trembling. He clenched his jaw tightly, took in a deep breath through his nose.

Leah looked sullen as she said, "I came to apologize-"

"Don't you think you've done enough? She jumped a fucking roof and broke her fucking arm and you have the audacity to apologize and act like everything's fine?"

"I'm sorry, okay? I didn't mean to do that to her. I was just so mad-"

"Because she tried to fuck Sam? Get it through your thick skull that he doesn't want you! He has Emily, who is more of a woman than you'll ever be!" Leah's face morphs from sadness to angry in three seconds flat.

Three things happened at once:

Leah attacked Paul

They both phased

Lauren passed out on the porch

I immediately caught her and slowly laid her on the ground, making sure her arm wasn't any more injured than it already was. All I could hear were rabid wolves fighting and breath in the dirt that was being kicked up. Shutting my eyes tight, I tried to go to my happy place with Channing Tatum and Bed, Bath, & Beyond.

The screen door was thrown open and feet pounded across the porch. The sound of fabric ripping filled then air, and then everything became quiet.

Taking in a shaky breath, I slowly opened my eyes to see the three of them naked, two lying flat on their stomachs while Jacob stood with a rabid look on his face.

"Stop acting like children and phasing so close to humans!" Leah and Paul jumped at his tone, dug their face into the dirt as if they were embarrassed. "Damn it, another person in on the secret. Another fucking slip up. What if a bloodsucker had been nearby? Jessica and Lauren would have been killed, probably! You saw what happened to Emily. You want a repeat of that!"

I had never seen him so angry before. His eyes glowed goldenly and his teeth seemed larger in his mouth. His fingers looked like claws, and he breathed heavily as if to keep control.

"Get up, go inside and sit and talk like the adults you are."

"What? No-" Paul started to complain but Jacob's foot smashed into his face, cutting off his words. Jacob growled in warning. I shivered and shut my eyes again.

"Go. Inside."

I could hear them getting off the ground and go past me, picking up Lauren on their way. But I couldn't move from the spot I kneeled at.

That was so dangerous. Werewolves were dangerous.

"Jessica?" I scrunched my eyes tighter, squeezed my hands into fists. Fingers brushed against my face and I flinched. "Jessie, please open your eyes."

"I can't."

"Why can't you?" I could hear my heart pounding again. Bum, bum, bum. Like hummingbird wings, too fast to be normal. Everything felt too hot and I was sweating. "Jessica?"

"I-I can't," I didn't mean for it to come out as a sob, but that's exactly what it was. Biting my bottom lip, I tried to calm my breathing. But it seemed impossible. "I can't."

"Baby, what's wrong?"

What was going on? Was I having a heart attack?

My breathing was too fast. I shook my head at him, crying again. It was as if I could hear the wolves fighting right next to me.

"S-scared. I'm scared."

As Jacob tries to touch me again, I jerk away. My eyes snap open and I glare at him.

"Don't touch."

Putting his hands up, he says quietly, "Okay, I won't touch." He glances over my face, dark eyes pondering. I gasp for air. "What are five things you see?"

"What?"

"Tell me five things you see."

What was this, twenty questions?

"The red house, your brown eyes, my blue jeans-" I sucked in a breath, shaking my head to clear my vision. "The green grass. The trees."

"What are four things you can feel?"

"The wood from the porch, my jeans, my hair in my face, the tears on my face, the warmth from your body."

It was becoming easier to breathe.

Jacob licked his lips before asking, "Three things you hear?"

"Uh, the wind. The birds," I breathed in and out, slowly. "The television in the house."

"Two things you can smell?"

"Your cologne."

"Can you give me another?"

"Uh, dirt?"

"Okay," He smiled at me. "One thing you can taste?"

"My dry mouth."

The heart attack had passed. After what seemed like hours, my body relaxed.

I lean into Jacob's shoulder, sniffling.

"Can I touch you? Jacob asked.

"Yes, you may."

His hand found its way under my shirt, rubbed at my sweaty back like it was the only thing he wanted to be doing.

I melted into him, felt myself start to fall asleep as he lifted me up. My legs wrap tightly around his waist and he keeps me close to him, safe.

The last thing I remember is my back hitting the bed and his lips kissing my forehead.

By the night of Halloween, things have cooled down. Leah apologizes to Lauren and Paul and they both forgive her, though the latter is more bitter about it. Jacob and I continue what we're doing, dating and living our best lives.

Jacob and I walk hand and hand to the Ateara home, me wearing a skintight catsuit while he dresses as the red ninja turtle.

"You excited?" He asks with a smirk, eyes roaming my figure.

"Hell yeah, I love parties! Especially with my main bitch." Lauren would also be going a cat and would look totally glam doing it. We asked Leah to do the same, but she just snapped at us and said she was going as a lumberjack.

"Maybe we should head home now? Get you out of that costume now?"

"Wow, a dog liking a cat? How progressive, Jacob."

He lightly pushes me back with a snort, only making me stumble a little bit. "Shut up."

"Watch it, kitty has claws."

Inside the house, EDM music was bumping and the party was full swing. Embry's eyes were sad as he nodded towards the kitchen.

"Drinks are in there, but keep it PG, fam. Claire and Chloe are going to be stopping by in a bit to trick or treat and Quil doesn't want their innocent eyes to see anything they don't need to."

"Do you not trust us?"

"Not since I caught you sucking Jacob's dick, girly."

I flipped him the bird and he just stuck his tongue out in reply before disappearing through the crowd.

"Why does he look like that?"

Absentmindedly playing with my hair, he asks, "Like what?"

"Sad."

"He misses Angela," He sighs. It sounds thick in his throat.

"Ah, I see." Embry still had a huge crush on her, that was plain to see. They had talked all night when she first came to visit. Clicked instantly like old friends.

Jacob breathed into my ear, voice but a whisper, "You want to know a secret?"

"You know I do."

"He imprinted."

The grin on my face disappears instantly. Imprinting? On my best friend?

"Why did this never come up in conversation?"

"I forgot?" He held his hands up and shrugged and I rolled my eyes before pulling out my cell phone.

"I'm calling her right now."

He yanked it from my hands and held it in the air above my head, "No, you aren't!"

"And why is that?"

"Because Embry isn't ready…" I rolled my eyes again and made grabby hands for the phone, but he just stuck his tongue out at me.

"He looks horrible without her! This is probably hurting them both, to be honest. And it's selfish of him to keep this from her."

"You're right, but this isn't your business."

I cocked an eyebrow, ready to get defensive. "Huh? Excuse me?"

"It's their relationship. Just give Embry a little time to adjust to things and talk it out with her… okay?" Jacob's words placated me for the moment and I slowly nodded. When my phone was returned to my hands, I shoved it inside of my bosom.

"Okaaaaaay, but you're on thin fucking ice."

"Aren't I always?"

An hour or two passed, little Claire and her younger sister stopped by dressing as red and green power rangers, and the party had started to settle down. Jacob holds my waist as I lay my head on his chest, lazily rocking to the music.

"You ready to head home, honey?"

"I used to be such a party girl. Now I'm ready to fall asleep."

"It's called growing up," He kissed my head. "Come on, let's get the baby to bed."

After saying our goodbyes, I hopped on Jacob's back, turtle shell thrown in Quil's front yard, and let him carry me home. We got home in record time and I let him pull my catsuit off.

"What pajamas do you want to wear?"

"Your old Led Zeppelin t-shirt, please."

The soft fabric was pulled over my head and then the light was shut off. Jacob climbed into bed behind me, wrapped his arms around my waist underneath the t-shirt. It felt comfortably content.

Is this what home felt like? Is this what love felt like?

I didn't have a damn clue.