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Penelope could not moving a muscle. She was frozen, was not even able blinking.
Aaron Hotchner, in love with her. Aaron Hotchner, asking her for a date.
That was the strangest thing that had happened in her life.
She felt flattered. Aaron was a clever handsome man. Any woman would love to be around him. Penelope could give her heart to a man like him ... but now ... that was impossible.
"Aaron, please. Do not do this to yourself," she said, turning away from him, "I'm not ready to start a relationship. You know that"
He approached her, placing his hands on her neck, "I can wait as long as you need"
She wanted to smother all his hopes, but not at the expense to hurt him. Penelope sat on the edge of the table, looking at his eyes.
"I'm sorry. Wish I could love you the way you deserve. You are a great man, I know you're capable of doing happy any woman"
"I want to make you happy. I can help you forget to ..."
"No, please," she interrupted, raising her hand, "I do not want to talk about him"
Aaron's eyes were fixed on her. His hands rested on her shoulders "Then say no more about ..." he whispered, before placing his lips on hers.
He dropped his hands on her waist, pulling her against his body. She pulled away from him abruptly, but it was too late.
At the door, Derek came in slowly and approached them, dropping a folder on the Hotch's desktop. "I ... this is... reports ... you have to sign it"
He left the office, closing the door tightly. Penelope put her face in her hands, trying to digest what had happened
She took a deep breath before speaking again, "Why have you done this?"
Aaron was tense, his eyes avoiding her gaze. He knew he had made a mistake.
She did not want to be with him. He was her boss, her friend, but nothing more.
"Sorry, I did not mean to hurt you" he whispered, grabbing her wrists, forcing her to taking her hands from her face "I'm so sorry"
She closed her eyes for a moment, shaking her head, "Okay, don't apologize more. This is my fault ..."
Aaron frowned, visibly confused. He knew what she was talking about. She felt bad for Derek. She still loved Derek, despite her disguise of indifference. But he needed to hear those words from her own mouth. He could not give up so easily ...
"What are you talking about?"
"Why I have been so selfish?" she whispered, tears in her eyes
"Penelope ..."
Aaron tried to hold her, without ulterior motives. She walked away, shaking her head
Aaron lowered his head without saying a word, as she left his office. He was hurt. He was in love with the wrong person.
He had allowed himself illusions about something almost impossible. ALMOST impossible.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Anger was installed inside his veins. Derek Morgan was disappointed. No, he was not disappointed.
He was feeling betrayed. No woman had awakened such strong feelings within his soul.
He could give his own life in exchange for hers. He could kill with his bare hands, if she asked him. He loved Penelope, with all his being. Now, he also hated her.
She had crossed all barriers of his soul. Penelope took his heart in her hands, and strangled it.
Derek took another picture of the box. He watched her radiant smile, her sweet eyes ... He saw his own smile, proper to an idiot in love man. He threw that piece of paper in his fireplace's fire, as he took another swig of whiskey.
He needed to leave. His place was in Chicago, in New York, in London ... Anywhere away from her...
His breath was caught in his throat when he heard the lock. She was on the other side of the door.
"What the fuck are you doing here?" he whispered, without turning to look at Penelope.
"Please listen to me ..." her voice pleaded, as she approached one step closer to him. Her eyes fell on the small box he held in his lap.
"I don't want to hear you. Do not want your excuses or explanations. Wanna you to leave my house"
"Baby ... you do not mean it"
He rose from the floor in anger, putting his hands on her shoulders.
"Shut up! Don't need your pity!" he yelled, not caring her tears. "I just need you out of my life!"
She could see the hatred in his eyes, his jaw clenched tightly. Penelope felt her heart broke in pieces. That was not the man she loved. This man was a raging stranger.
Penelope wiped her tears with her hand, trying to catch her heart's normal rhythm. She began to take steps backward, away from him.
She was not scared of Derek. She was broken, because of the hatred she saw in his face
"Where you go now?" he asked, grabbing her elbow hard "Come here"
"No!" she yelled, trying to break free from his grip "you're hurting me"
"Well," he said, fixing his eyes on hers "This way you know what really despair is"
Penelope threw her head back, trying to find the right words.
"Sorry, ok?" she whispered, looking back at Derek, stroking his cheek "I'm sorry. But you have no reason to be so hurt …"
"I have many reasons," he growled, retaking the box in his hands, "You are such a liar. You said you loved me but you don't feel anything for me"
"Derek ... listen ..."
"No, you listen to me!"
She plopped down on the living room couch. Never in her life, she had felt so helpless. "Please ..."
"Have you any idea of hell I suffered? ... I lived ten months into a nightmare!" he ran his hands over his head in despair "I just wanted to go home. I was eager to get back into your arms and you..."
He could not continue. His feelings took control of his self. He was fighting his own tears. He did not want the final humiliation.
Derek sighed heavily, closing his eyes, "I thought you'd be happy. God, I thought you wanted to marry me. You accepted to marry me, remember?" he said, letting out a bitter laugh, "But when I came back, you were angry with me. You did not want me around. I only wanted to spend the night with you, kissing you, hold you and you ... You left me!"
Penelope hugged herself, while her crying became uncontrollable. She never wanted to hurt Derek. She was just so jealous of Emily. She was furious that Derek had chosen his friend over her.
"I'm so sorry ..."
"Do not bullshit me anymore!" he shouted, pulling out his pain "You're in love with that fucking Aaron Hotchner!"
"That's not true"
Derek was sick of the whole situation. "You want to know why I faked my death?"
"Derek ..."
"Years ago, I infiltrated a drug gang. The narco escaped from a maximum security prison. My former colleagues had to leave their lives, and go into hiding because Juan Valdés vowed revenge"
She looked at him expectantly. Every word made her feel so selfish...
"Want to see something funny?" he asked wryly,
before throwing pictures on the couch "Look at that"
Her eyes widened in horror. In each and every one of those pictures, was any team members. Someone had been following BAU members except Emily. Penelope recalled that her friend was working with the team B.
"Derek ..."
"NO! I was receiving pictures like these, every day. Could you imagine the fear I felt? I gave up all I had for your sake ..."
Derek leaned his elbow on the wall, resting his forehead on his palm "Valdes killed Richard. That fucking sick, forced me to watch, while he cut my best friend's throat"
Her tears began to fall from her eyes. Derek heard the cries of Penelope behind him. "Forgive me ..."
He turned to look at her face to face. "You do not trust me. You gave me no consolation. You deprived me of your love"
"I'm sorry, please forgive me ..."
Her hand stroked his shoulder, but he pulled away quickly, "Do not touch me. Do not want you touch me anymore"
"Please let me be with you"
"NO!" he shouted, pulling away from her body "Is too late now"
Derek put his hand inside the box, taking something in his palm. He opened the little box, showing its contents to Penelope.
"These were our wedding bands. I bought them in Chicago when I faked my death. This made me think of you, in our future ... how could I be so stupid?"
She observed the gold rings, so perfect in the velvet box. Derek threw them into the fire, without hesitation.
"But we no longer need them, right?"
"Please, stop. I can not bear this anymore"
"Do not you want to know the rest of my adventure?" Derek asked with a wry smile as he unbuttoning his shirt.
"NO!" she cried desperately, running her hands through her hair "I want nothing more. This hurts me, Derek"
"Does it hurt you? Do not think it hurts you as much as me" he ruled, before taking off his shirt.
Penelope does not understand anything, does he want to have sex?.
Derek grabbed her wrist and placed her hand on his back. His lips were inches from hers. He whispered, "Can you feel that? Are scars.
I have spent days lying on my stomach, bound hand and foot "
Her hands moved up gently to his shoulders, forcing him to rotate. She stared in horror at his wounds. Stab scars, scars of burned skin ...
"With each passing day, it was worse than the last. They have beaten me, they burned me. They have wounded me with knives"
He turned to look in her eyes "Nothing has hurt me more than you disdain. Nothing."
She opened her mouth, trying to say something that might ease his pain. But her mind could not work after so many tears. "I love you so much ..."
"Is that why you kissed him? Is that why you never gave me a chance to tell you everything? Is that why you never trusted me?"
"Derek, please ..."
"Just go out"
A/N:Here's the new chapter. Thanks for reading, for your favorites and alerts :)
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