Here goes:
"Hold on a second there, Revy! Can you run it by me one more time?" Eda couldn't believe her ears.
"You're kind of slow on the uptake today, ain't ya, bitch?" Revy shot back. "Fine! I need you to help me find a dress to wear to the San Kan Palace, so get off your ass and come with me."
"All right, just give me a moment to change and I'll be right with you." Eda went running to her room, leaving Revy sitting at the back of the Rip-Off Church's old Citroen van. She was back in minutes, wearing her decidedly non-conservative off-duty outfit and beckoned for Revy to follow her to her car.
Eda took Revy to the same store they'd helped Gretel do her shopping a few days earlier. There, she had her try on several outfits. She had to admit that her friend had a great body and she looked good in all of them, but there was a little problem: none appeared to be good enough.
"How about this one?" Revy asked, emerging from the changing room wearing a red and black dress.
"No," said Eda after a brief evaluation.
"Damn it, Eda, this is the seventh dress you've had me try on so far! What's wrong with this one?"
"Too damn flashy," the blond woman replied. "It looked better on the rack, but on you it's just hideous."
"Ugh, fine! Where's the next one?" Following Eda's pointing finger, she grabbed the next one and disappeared back inside the changing room. It didn't take her long to change and stormed back out.
"Whoa!" Eda exclaimed when she saw her.
"Not this one either?" Revy was getting tired. Shopping for Gretel had been fun, but this was just infuriating.
"Yes. That's the one!" She got up and walked around her friend, carefully examining the dress. "It looks fantastic, but it'll be better with a belt. Add the right pair of shoes and you'll blow Romeo's socks off."
"You do know I need it for a formal dinner, right? What's Rock got to do with it?"
"He'll be there, won't he? It will make him go nuts!"
Revy narrowed her eyes and shot Eda a poisonous glare. "I'd shoot you, but I don't have my guns on me right now, plus I don't want to be banned from this store forever. Aw, fuck it. Belt and shoes, you said." She carefully studied her reflection in a full length mirror. "I think I already have what I need. Gimme a moment to change and we'll go pay for it."
As they headed for the registers, Eda snagged a leather messenger bag-style shoulder bag from a rack. "You won't be able to wear your holster rig with that dress, so you can put your guns and extra ammo in here," she explained.
Revy took it from her and examined it. It was stylish and would do nicely indeed. "Good idea, Eda. Let's go." She paid for her purchases and her friend was kind enough to drive her to her hotel.
"I want all the dirty little details next time we meet for drinks," Eda said as she drove off, heading back to the church.
-o-
Unsurprisingly, Dutch was the first one in at the office. But then again, his place was closer than the others'. He had changed into a pair of dark blue linen pants, with his lucky belt at the waist, a pair of highly polished Oxford dress shoes and a dress shirt. A blue and burgundy striped tie and a lightweight grey suit jacket completed the outfit together with his trademark sunglasses. In fact, people who knew him would be hard pressed to recognize him. Benny and Rock were the next to arrive. The former was the more casually dressed of the three, forgoing the jacket and tie, wearing a light grey pair of slacks and a white shirt. Rock had just put on one of the business suits he favored, jacket included. After a short commentary on the radical change in Dutch's appearance, they settled down to wait for Revy. When she showed up, three mouths dropped open. The dress Eda had helped her choose was a black one-shoulder number that came down to just above her knees. The single wide sleeve came down to her elbow, hiding most of her tattoo. A wide brown belt with a skull and crossed cutlasses buckle encircled her waist, while two-tone brown cowboy boots were on her feet.
"Close your mouths, boys, unless you want to catch flies," she said, enjoying their shock while setting her bag down on the coffee table. "And I must say, you clean up very nice, Dutch. You too, Benny."
"Right back at you, Two-Hands," said Dutch with a grin.
"Where are your guns?" Benny asked. She practically never went anywhere without them.
She answered his question with one of her own. "What do you think I bought this bag for, Benny?"
Dutch glanced at the clock on the wall. "It's about time to get going. Benny, bring the car around."
-o-
The Roadrunner pulled up behind a grey Mercedes sedan in front of the hotel. Four people exited the other car, which then drove off. Benny handed over the car keys to a valet as he and his coworkers stepped onto the pavement. The passengers from the preceding car were none other than Balalaika, Boris and the Twins, the latter mentioned also dressed for the occasion, Hansel having traded his jeans and sneakers for linen pants and dress shoes, while Gretel was wearing a dark blue midi cotton dress and stylish sandals. Balalaika and Boris were in their usual suits.
"Hello, Dutch," the Russian woman greeted him. "You are right on time as usual."
"We aim to please," was the simple reply. The kids waved at him and his crew and they returned the gesture.
"Chang appears to be running a little late. I suggest we wait for him inside." She'd no sooner said that when a green Mercedes drove up to them and the man in question stepped out followed by his loyal second in command.
"Good evening, ladies and gentlemen," he said.
"You were almost late, baby," Balalaika teased him. "What kept you?"
"Had to take a small detour," he replied. "Some idiot managed to overturn a delivery truck and blocked an entire intersection. And as I've told you a thousand times, don't call me baby." He looked at the kids. "So, these are the Hansel and Gretel you told me about on the phone. Kids, it's nice to meet you."
"Likewise, Mr. Chang," they chorused and shook hands with him.
"I think it would be best to take it inside," Dutch suggested.
"Ladies first," Chang said affably, moving aside to allow Balalaika, Revy and Gretel to pass. "By the way, Dutch, you and Two-Hands look really sharp tonight."
"It sure feels nice to try a different style once in a while, Big Boss Man," Revy told him.
The maitre d' almost fainted in shock when he saw the two crime bosses approaching the restaurant's hostess. He knew that someone important had made a reservation, but he certainly wasn't expecting the leaders of the two most powerful organizations operating in the city to show up. He watched as the hostess led eight of them to a secluded table on the raised platform towards the back, while two more took another table nearby. He motioned for a waiter and the wine steward to follow him.
Meanwhile, Chang, Rock and Hansel gentlemanly pulled out chairs for Balalaika, Revy and Gretel respectively and then took their seats. Boris and Biu were already at their own table, from where they could keep watch over their bosses.
The waiter took their order and retreated to the kitchen. Gretel then reached inside her handbag and produced several gift wrapped packages. "Earlier today, my brother and I decided to get you all something as a thank you for everything you've done for us. Mr. Chang, I'm sorry, but since we didn't know what you like, our gift for you is something rather generic."
"It's the thought that counts, young lady," he said with an easy smile.
She nodded happily and started sorting out the gifts. "Aunt Sofiya, this is for you."
Balalaika took the small box and unwrapped it. Inside was a traditional Thai tiger face pendant. "It's beautiful," she said. "Thank you both."
"The store owners told us it's a good luck charm," said Hansel. "You can wear it, keep it on your desk or even put in on your keychain."
"Revy's next!" Gretel announced, passing her a wrapped box.
The redhead tore eagerly at her gift's wrapping paper. "Wow," she said when she saw it. It was a stainless steel dog tag and chain. The tag itself had a white skull and crossed cutlasses motif on a black background on one side and both her name and nickname stenciled in black gothic lettering on a white background on the other side. "Kids, I… well… thank you."
"Mr. Chang, this is for you," said Hansel, giving the Triad boss another box.
"Most impressive," he said, turning the black Zippo lighter with the golden dragon design and the relief dragon claws over in his hand. "I like it a lot, thank you both."
"Dutch, we had a wonderful time aboard your boat," said Gretel. "But picking out a gift for you turned out to be the hardest as well." She pushed a package across the table to him. "Go on. Open it."
A smile formed on Dutch's face when he saw what they'd given him. It was a first edition hardback novel, published in the States just the previous week. "This will be a nice addition to my library. Good choice, you two. Thanks."
"You are welcome," they chirped. "Benny, you're next," Hansel announced. The gift they'd bought for him was practical yet clever, a monitor filter for his computer to be precise. And it was one he appreciated.
"And last but not least, Rock," said Gretel. "We hope you'll find it very useful."
"Let's see," said Rock, tearing his package open. Inside he found an all weather clipboard, notebook and pen set, plus a baseball stress ball on a baseball glove stand.
"Well, Mr. White Collar, looks like they can read you like an open book," commented Revy.
"I'm not complaining. Like Gretel said, they're useful, especially the stress ball. I have to deal with you every day, after all," he said, looking teasingly at his partner. Revy just kicked his leg under the table hard, grinning evilly.
"Ow! Revy!" Rock complained. The Twins decided to defuse the situation by encouraging Revy to put her gift on. She gladly obliged and smiled as Hansel took a picture of her with his camera.
Throughout the meal the eight people sitting at the table made casual conversation. Balalaika, Chang and Dutch scrupulously avoided discussing business, focusing on the two guests of honor instead. In particular, Balalaika emphasized the need to provide them with a good education, to which they agreed, but their faces fell when she told them that the nearest international school was in Rayong Province, approximately two hundred kilometers northwest of Roanapur, not too far away in her opinion. However, she promised to discuss the matter further with them, and also said that she was going to have to hire a tutor to evaluate their level of education and give them remedial courses if required before enrolling them in a school.
After dessert and coffee – iced hot cocoa for the Twins – it was time to leave. Although she hadn't said anything, Balalaika was curious and excited to see how her new charges were going to react once she showed them the rooms she'd had prepared for them. She really liked the feeling of being something other than just an organized crime boss, in this case an aunt of sorts to the kids.
The parking valet had just brought Lagoon Company's car behind Chang and Balalaika's own cars when an SUV and two vans coming from the opposite direction braked to a stop when they drew level with the small party. The side door of the vans slid open, their back doors were flung open and several armed men came out of the vehicles. The barrels of three guns also poked from the SUV's side windows and a man with an assault rifle popped up through the open sunroof. Dutch and Balalaika were the first to react, yelling for everyone to take cover and drawing their weapons. In the space of a second, the street was transformed into a battleground.
Hansel and Gretel found themselves crouched behind the car next to Balalaika, who had grabbed them both and pulled them to safety before cocking her Stechkin and opening fire on their assailants. To their left, Dutch and Revy were also firing, while Benny and Rock had taken cover behind the Roadrunner. From where he was, Rock could see the trademark smile on the redheaded gunslinger's face. To the right, Chang was also in action, dual wielding his Beretta 76 pistols. Boris and Biu were dragging a man, one of Chang's bodyguards who had suffered a gunshot wound to a leg, to cover, while laying down suppressive fire with their own sidearms. Balalaika's driver had also joined the rest of them and was using an AKS-74U carbine to good effect.
Not willing to sit back and do nothing, Hansel, who was closest to the injured Chinese man, reached over and unclipped a carbine from the man's single-point sling and also grabbed a pistol from a hip holster. "Sora mea," he yelled, holding the bigger weapon out to her, knowing her love for heavy artillery, keeping the pistol, a 9mm NORINCO Model 213, for himself.
"Thank you, fratele meu," she said, accepting the gun and giving it a quick look. It was a Fleming Arms HK51, essentially a shortened G3A4 battle rifle, with a thirty round magazine. She extended the stock, flipped the safety to full auto, popped up from behind the car and pulled the trigger, peppering the first van's side from steering wheel to tail light with bullets. The combination of the HK51's short barrel and the powerful 7.62mm ammunition made for a ferocious recoil and a huge muzzle blast, but she still found it easy to control, being used to handling her old BAR. Her long burst took out four men and gave her aunt and Chang the chance to reload their own weapons. Hansel used his borrowed pistol to shoot the man on the SUV's sunroof, taking him out with a double tap to the chest and head.
From her position, Revy took out the three men in the back seat of the SUV and Dutch nailed the driver, eliminating the threat from their left flank, for a total of twelve hostiles taken out. There were fifteen of their opponents still left to deal with, however. Chang's driver used his tie as an improvised bandage over his leg wound and tossed a full magazine over to Gretel, who caught it easily and slammed it into her carbine.
"Hansel, Gretel, what the blazes are you two doing? Get down now!" Balalaika yelled as she reloaded her weapon.
"Can we talk about this later, Aunt Sofiya?" Hansel asked, dropping down next to her. "I'm out of ammo!"
"Here," the Chinese man handed over all his spare pistol ammunition.
"Thank you," the boy said politely, ejecting the empty mag and slamming a fresh one in. "Do you by any chance have more ammo for that H&K?"
"Some," he replied and held out a small shoulder pouch containing four more magazines. "Pass it over."
"Hey, sis," Revy said to the Russian woman. "Cover me! I'll try to flank them!"
"Sergeant! Go with her!" Balalaika ordered Boris. He followed Revy, who was firing her Cutlasses while running across the street all the way to the SUV and they took cover together in front of the vehicle. Revy peeked around it and saw that their opponents were preparing for another barrage. This wasn't good. They were still outnumbered and outgunned, their heaviest weapons being the HK51 Gretel was using and the AKS-74U Balalaika's driver had, against assault rifles and submachine guns. She paled when she saw two of them preparing an RPG-7.
"Boris, they have a fuckin' RPG! We need to take them out fast!"
"Go behind the parked cars over there. I'll cover you from here," he said.
"Gotcha. On three?"
"Works for me."
"One, two, THREE!" Cutlasses blazing, she crossed the short distance between the SUV and the row of parked cars, vaulting over the hood of one and making her way closer to the enemy, while taking care to stay out of the others' line of fire. Boris deliberately drew some of the enemy fire on himself, allowing Revy to continue unhindered and also taking some pressure off of the others. Having loaded fresh magazines in her weapons, Revy popped up and tore the RPG team to pieces with a hail of bullets. Almost simultaneously, a .44 Magnum slug from Dutch's Smith & Wesson punched through a van's windscreen and took the head clean off a man who was aiming a Beretta AR70/90 assault rifle at her. "Fuck me, that was close," she muttered as she reloaded.
By now the odds had been evened and then Gretel and Balalaika struck lucky when, while trying to suppress fire from a gunman crouching behind the front van's engine, their bullets clipped a fuel line and a spark touched off the spilled gasoline. The entire front end of the van disappeared in a wall of flame, forcing the men using it as a shield to pull back to avoid being burned. In doing so, some stepped out in the open and were quickly cut down. Two smarter ones who'd tried to hide behind the parked cars found themselves square in Revy's sights. They didn't stand a chance. Now outnumbered, the remaining gunmen decided that discretion was the better part of valor and piled inside the remaining van, but in doing so made themselves easier targets. Being engaged from three sides didn't help either. Chang killed the man behind the wheel just as he disengaged the parking brake. Driverless, the vehicle rolled forward and crashed into the back of the burning van in front of it. It was over quickly after that. The thin sheet metal of its sides and the regular glass of its windows and windscreen offered no protection against bullets. Boris took out the two men remaining up front, while Revy concentrated her fire on the right side sliding door. The rest fired at the van's left side and rear, turning its interior into a slaughterhouse.
The wail of police sirens could be heard in the distance as the combined Hotel Moscow/Triad/Lagoon Company team, plus reinforcements from the two organizations, carefully checked the bodies of their assailants to see if anyone was alive for questioning and to make sure no one was playing possum, waiting for the chance to shoot them in the back.
"Why am I not surprised?" Chief Watsup asked as he exited his car. The first person he saw was Revy. "I am enjoying myself at an official function with the mayor, then I get a report of a shootout downtown and I find that you're right in the middle of it, Revy."
"Don't blame me, Chief," she said dismissively. "It was self defense. Just ask them." She nodded in the direction of Balalaika and Chang. The corrupt cop paled visibly. For the moment, however, they weren't bothering with the likes of him. Chang was seeing to his injured driver, while Balalaika was looking annoyed as she surveyed the bullet damage to her car and a tear in the silk stocking covering her left leg.
"Um, OK, just tell me what happened here."
"Well, we were coming out of the restaurant when those cocksuckers pulled up and started firing at us. We checked the bodies and as it turned out they were some Italians who had been out of town and thus survived the recent showdown, plus some of their allies from a local gang and the Yakuza. Apparently they decided to take out Chang and Balalaika and we just happened to be there as well."
Boris and Biu took over dealing with any fallout from Watsup, so Revy was free to rejoin her coworkers by their car, which had survived with surprisingly little damage, just a bullet hole that needed to be repaired, since their assailants had concentrated their fire on the two crime bosses' cars. As she stood with them, she couldn't help but watch as Balalaika scolded the Twins for risking their lives by taking part in the firefight.
"But Aunt Sofiya," Hansel was heard to say.
"But nothing," she interrupted him, fixing them both with a stern look. "I distinctly told you to get down and take cover. I am not used to being disobeyed, you know. And I don't like it when people disobey me."
"Can we claim extenuating circumstances?" Gretel asked, batting her eyelashes, looking like the perfect picture of (sort of) innocence. "We love you and we wanted to protect you, just like you wanted to protect us."
"We are a family now," added Hansel. "And we'll be looking out for you, just like we've always been looking out for each other and like you are taking care of us now."
Balalaika smiled. "I can't win this, can I?" She shook her head and opened her arms. "Come here, you two." The three hugged tightly, relieved that they were all safe and sound. "Now, give the weapons you borrowed back."
The twins ran to the Chinese man, who was being helped into the back seat of a car. "Hey, mister," Gretel called out to him. "I believe this is yours." She handed him the HK51 back and Hansel returned the pistol to him. "They were useful, thank you."
The man smirked. "You put them to good use, as I hear. And you're both very much welcome." The door was closed and the two stood by and waved as the car drove off.
As the police and the Cleaners took over the scene, the onlookers that had gathered as soon as the hail of bullets stopped began to disperse and the people in the winning side split up to head to their respective bases. "So, Dutch, what are we going to do now?" Benny asked.
"I don't know about you, but I could use a drink right now," Rock piped up.
"I second the motion," Revy agreed, twirling a Cutlass on a finger before shoving it back in her bag. She was still wired from the gunfight.
"A drink sounds just about right," Dutch conceded. "Benny?"
"Get in the car, everyone," said the blond computer expert.
-o-
Bao almost dropped the glass he was polishing with a dishrag when he noticed their radically changed appearance as they all trooped inside the Yellow Flag. "Dutch? Benny? Two-Hands? What happened to you guys?"
Rock answered the question. "We were at the San Kan Palace for dinner with Balalaika and Chang. We had to dress up for the occasion, you understand."
The bar owner nodded. And then it came to him. "The shootout outside the hotel, were you involved in that?" The incident had made the local news, after all.
"Yeah," Dutch nodded. "We weren't the target, but we still got pulled into it."
"Well, I'm sure glad to see you all in one piece," said Bao. "Name your poison." Dutch ordered his usual whiskey, Benny a whiskey with a beer chaser, while Rock and Revy stuck with their preferred drink, Bacardi. They sat and sipped their drinks for a while, focusing exclusively on the glasses in front of them and letting the remaining adrenaline drain from their systems.
"Man, what a day," said Benny, breaking the comfortable silence. He reached inside a pocket for his cigarettes, only to find, much to his dismay, that the pack had been crumpled when he took cover. He made a mental note to buy a rolling machine and cigarette paper and at least salvage the tobacco and the filters from the ruined cigarettes.
"Here," Revy offered, holding out her own pack.
"Ah, thank you." He took one and lit up. The others followed suit. "At least Dutch didn't have to bail you out again, Revy."
"Watsup is a limp dick fuck," she snorted, idly watching the burning end of her cigarette. "He couldn't do anything, not with Balalaika and Chang around."
"Seeing those kids in action, I understand where their reputation came from," remarked Dutch.
"You don't say," said Revy. "I knew they were good with guns, but we were just having fun on that island. Today though… and Balalaika turning into a mother hen where they're concerned… can you fuckin' believe it?"
"Come off it, Revy, you like them just as much," Rock pointed out. "By the way, what did you say to Hansel before we left?"
"I gave him a souvenir; the short sword I took from the Yakuza guy he took out, the one in the SUV. He likes blades, so I thought it was a good idea for him to keep it as a trophy."
"It's called a wakizashi in Japanese," said Rock while refilling his glass.
"Thank you for that tidbit of useless knowledge," she said sarcastically. "Cheers." She clinked her glass against his and took a sip of rum. "Man, I'm tired. I wanna go home and sleep."
The others turned and gaped at her. She was suggesting leaving the bar before she got drunk? That was a first. But then again, they'd had a long day.
-o-
"Goodnight, sweetheart," said Sofiya as she tucked Gretel in. She ran a hand lovingly through the girl's long pale blond hair and patted her cheek. "Sweet dreams."
"Thank you, Aunt Sofiya. Sweet dreams to you too," replied the girl, giving the older woman's hand a gentle squeeze. "I didn't apologize for making you worry earlier…"
"Your brother already did, for both of you," Sofiya cut her off. "He said you two were worried about me, too."
"We were. I mean, we don't want to lose you…"
"I think I can take care of myself pretty well. Sometimes you and Hansel sound just like Boris. He's such a worrywart sometimes… and not just him, the rest of my men too."
"Can you blame us? We all adore you, after all."
She chuckled as she got up and headed for the door. "Sleep well," she said and turned the light off before closing the door behind her, yawning widely as she headed to her own room.
K2 Black Panther: I was originally planning on having a nice bloody shootout scene set in the Yellow Flag in the previous chapter, but I took the smallest of pities on poor Bao (Revy and the Twins - plus Balalaika and Chang - going on a rampage in the bar? A smoking crater in the ground would be all that'd be left of the place). Still, I hope you liked this one.
Until next week.