The Mechanist's Secret Power

Chapter 10: The Mechanist Who Shagged Me

Ryoma's face scrunched up. "Xander? What the hell are you doing here in my castle, Nohrian scum?"

"Oh, like that line isn't overused!" Xander screamed, marching up to the Hoshidan prince's spot and staring him intensely in the face. He tensed his brows. "Try thinking up an original insult for once, dumb decapod!"

"Same applies to you, blonde bastard!" Ryoma yelled. "Do you think you're the first person to compare me to a lobster? Did you think that was clever? Huh, punk? I'm not blind, you know. I'm well-aware that I wear red armor. And yes, I do have a personality that's reminiscent of a lobster!"

Xander and Ryoma intensely glared at one another.

Anna grinned, seeing the business opportunity that was now unfolding itself right in front of her eyes. "I may be a retired businesswoman, but I'm still an Anna, damn it! And this situation is just asking for a little of the old family business!"

She pulled out a pair of spectacles, a pre-inked quill, and a ledger from somewhere on her outfit and started to shout. "Xander versus Ryoma," she called, "the fight you've all been waiting for! I'm taking all bets! Which prince will pummel the other? Place your vote with your wallets today!"

Takumi, who was walking by with Oboro and whistling nonchalantly, stopped dead in his tracks. "Twenty gold on Ryoma!" he offered, slapping the coins into the redhead's hand.

She grinned. "Wow, I've never seen anyone give me gold with such gusto. Thanks!"

Takumi beamed. "Of course I'd be the best at that."

"Hey, I never said you were 'the best'," Anna said, earning a reproachful glare from Takumi. "It's… It's handing someone money, kid. It's not really something people can exceed at."

Takumi frowned. "Why are you calling me kid? I'm the same age as you."

Anna twirled her ponytail. "I'm not your Anna, sport." She pinched a section of her clothing, pulling it outwards. "See? Different outfit, different age. Probably."

"Oh," Takumi said. He frowned.

"Hey, did I overhear someone say they were the best at something?" Subaki interrupted, butting into the archer's side (and conversation). "Because I know I can beat them at it. I'm the best at everything."

"Do you mind? We were in the middle of something."

"No," said Anna. "We weren't."

"Anyway," Takumi said. "Everyone knows, Subaki. You think you're-"

"Perfect," he finished. "It's my favorite word."

"I'm aware," Takumi replied, sighing softly.

"Hello, fellow redhead!" Anna said. "You want to place a bet? Ryoma and Xander are about to beat each other up. Who do you think will win the melee? First prince to knock out the other wins!"

Subaki raised an eyebrow. "Xander? Isn't he the Nohrian commander?"

"No, Garon's in charge," Takumi said. "Prince Xander is King Garon's son."

Subaki frowned. "How would you know?"

Takumi shrugged. "Unlike some people, I actually keep up to date on politics."

Anna tapped her chin. "Could you two save the not-so-witty banter for later, please? I'm trying to make a profit here. Mr. Redhead, are you going to place a bet or not?"

"Not a chance," said Subaki. "I don't play games of, well, chance. If I make a bet, I have a chance of losing. And perfection does not lose."

"That's not what Hana told me," Takumi said, smirking. "Apparently, you lost something last night."

Subaki raised an eyebrow.

"You know…your virginity," Takumi elaborated, reddening slightly. "You lost your virginity. Finally, you lost at something! Haha!"

Subaki sighed. "Firstly, Lord Takumi, that's not an insult. If anything, that's a compliment. Many men brag about their sexual conquests."

"Mmhm. Suuure," Takumi replied, smirking. "That's precisely what a loser would say."

"And secondly," Subaki said, "how would Hana even know about that?"

Takumi frowned. "What do you mean?"

"I didn't sleep with Hana. She's not my type." Subaki tapped his chin, struggling to hide an emerging grin. "I wonder, though… Who would Hana get this particular morsel of gossip from?"

Takumi raised an eyebrow. "I don't know, one of the many women in our army? Don't women chat about these things? Wait, did you tell Hana? "

"Of course not!" Subaki said a bit too defensively. "I don't brag! But Hana isn't a very sociable woman. She only talks to training partners and Sakura. Odd. I don't know where she would've heard that information."

Takumi rolled his eyes. "You're bragging right now, Subaki. And the answer's obvious: Sakura told Hana."

"That's very likely," Subaki said. "Well, it could be if Sakura weren't deathly shy. Why, the cute little redhead rarely talks to even Lady Corrin! The only others she socializes with are Hinoka, Ryoma, you, myself, and Hana."

Takumi frowned. He eyed Subaki suspiciously. "Wait a minute, here…. 'cute little redhead'? And… Hang on. Why didn't you didn't use honorifics when referring to my sister? You've always called her 'Lady Sakura', even before she was of…marriageable…age…" He trailed off.

Subaki wiggled his eyebrows, grinning a brilliantly blinding smile. He yawned, lazily putting his arms over his head. This revealed a sparkly golden band sitting atop his ring finger.

"Son of a bitch!" Takumi yelled, having put the pieces of the puzzle together. "You slept with Sakura?!"

Subaki ran a few meters away, where his mount stood stationary, stretching its wings. He jumped on his pegasus's saddle and started flying around on it, taunting Takumi in the air by flying circles on it. "You can't kill me while I'm in the skies above, new brother!"

"I'm an archer, idiot!" Takumi said. "I can just shoot you down with my yumi!"

"You can't hit perfection!" Subaki goaded, dodging incoming arrows whizzing past him. He did a loop-de-loop in the air, enraging the angered prince further.

Takumi's left eye started twitching. He started walking up towards the hovering pegasus with Subaki, the yumi aimed at his face. Subaki only grinned, lifting his arms up in mock surrender.

Takumi loosed the arrow only to find that his bow refused to let the volley loose. "I-I can't," he admitted, defeated.

Subaki smiled. "Can't bring yourself to shoot your soon to be brother-in-law, eh?" he called out.

"Nope!" Takumi said, now a good thirty feet or so away from Subaki. "Archers can't shoot from an adjacent position! I can certainly hit you now, though!"

Subaki's grin quickly dissipated. He gulped. "Oh, son of a bi-…No, wait! Perfect soldiers don't swear…"

Silence permeated the air. The two Corrins were both on top of the bed, lying next to each other. They were both naked, their jiggly bits on display.

Female Corrin exhaled. "That was…interesting."

"That was the worst sex I've ever had," Male Corrin said. "I'm sorry, but gods damn if that wasn't some of the most boring ten minutes of my life. There was no excitement! No surprise! It was like doing it with my replicated body! I mean, I'm assuming. I haven't had time to try that. Yet. It's definitely on my to-do list, though."

Female Corrin exhaled. "Oh, thank gods! I was worried that it was just me. I mean, you'd think it would've been phenomenal sex. Two bodies, almost the same, albeit one being an aloof, male version of the other…

"Both incredibly attractive dragon people…" he finished. "But it was so predictable! It was like doing it with just my hands."

Female Corrin brought her hands up, frowning. She rotated them around, exaggeratedly looking them over.

"Stop," he said. "You know what I mean, dude. Though I will admit you're even more beautiful than I expected when I saw you clothed. You're so damn pretty! You're making me blush just by looking at you because I'm so hot! And those curves… Oh, man!"

Female Corrin rolled her eyes, chuckling softly. "Every time you praise me, you never fail to make it a compliment about yourself. You're ridiculous."

She squirmed in the bed, turning to face him. "Hey, boy Corrin, can I ask you something kind of personal?"

"Shoot," he offered, yawning. "We just made love. You can't get much more personal than that."

"Do dragons lay eggs?" she asked, fidgeting her hands. "I've always wondered since the day I transformed. Not that I'm planning on having a kid, mind you. I'm just curious."

Male Corrin's response was to roll over and look at her solid red eyes. However, he could only maintain eye contact for a second, as his own eyes quickly ventured down to her naked breasts and they lingered there. This went on for a solid thirty seconds, with him making no verbal response, but instead glaring at her boobs intensely.

"Can you please stop leering at my tits and actually answer the question?" Female Corrin chided, frowning. She pulled the bed covers upwards. "Will I lay eggs or something?"

Male Corrin rubbed the back of his neck. "Sorry. It's not like I'll have another chance to check myself out. Man, what I wouldn't kill for one of those snapshot tomes right now…"

She sighed. "Boy Corrin, do dragons get pregnant or not?"

He shrugged. "How would I know? I'm a dude."

"True, but you're the only dragon I've met. You're the best lead I have."

"Hm."

The cogs in his brain began to turn, rusted as they were from a lack of use. "I don't think you'll lay eggs, no. I had a son and daughter through the normal method…though Azura did have an Astral Realm-induced pregnancy, meaning it lasted a few weeks rather than nine months. It was weird."

Female Corrin tilted her head. "I seem to be as mammalian as possible when in human form. For instance, reptiles don't have mammaries." She cupped her bust to prove her point, making him grin even wider.

He giggled. "Heehee, you touched them. Heh. Anyways, in dragon form, we don't have sex organs. Well, I know I don't. 'Dunno about you."

Female Corrin raised a brow. "You've actually checked?"

His grin dipped. "Wait, you haven't?"

Female Corrin frowned. "How and why would I?"

He raised an eyebrow. "Um, you could use a hand mirror? We have hands in dragon form, you know It's kind of creepy, when you think about it. Why do dragons need hands? Is there an evolutionary reason for that? And why do we have jaws? We can't eat anything."

"Um…"

"I take it back. There is one thing I've eaten as a dragon."

Female Corrin frowned. "Gross," she murmured, catching his implication.

"Prude," he replied.

He then opened his mouth wide, yawning loudly. "Well, whatever. I'm tired. Goodnight, girl me. Thanks for the incredibly mediocre sex." He closed his eyes and flopped to the side, burying his face into the pillow.

"W-wait!" Female Corrin cried. "We can't just lie around together!"

He mumbled something into his pillow. "Mmmph-mmph."

She sighed. "I can't understand you."

"Mphmmph?" he replied, his head still stuffed inside the pillow.

"Boy Corrin, I can't understand you. Raise your head out of the pillow."

He did as she asked, yawning again. "I don't think anyone really cares."

"I'm sorry?" she asked. "What was that?"

He rested his head on his arm, facing towards her. "Like, no one cares that you did it with yourself, maaan. You're worried that your image will be hurt if someone catches you disheveled and naked with me, right?"

Female Corrin frowned. "What? No, I really don't care about that. I'm trying to tell you that we don't have time to spare! We should really stop Xander and Ryoma from fighting."

She pointed at the now-opened curtains. Xander, Ryoma, and a sizable crowd could be seen.

"Oh, snickerdoodles," Male Corrin cursed.

Ryoma and Xander stared at one another, noses almost touching. Each prince was apparently attempting to out-scowl the other.

"Are they going to fight each other or kiss?" Azama asked, an uncharacteristic look of uncertainty on his face. He then shrugged, indifferent. "Orochi, what do you think? Do your cards have anything to say? Should I place a bet on Lord Ryoma or the other man?"

"My cards don't work on Outrealm-related properties," Orochi replied. "And this Xander appears to be from an Outrealm."

Azama tilted his head. "Aren't we in an Outrealm right now? It's all relative."

"Other Outrealms," Orochi corrected. "My cards don't work on objects and people from other Outrealms."

"Ah," Azama said. "Oh well." He turned to Anna. "No betting for us, thank you. Watching the show is quite entertaining enough."

The redhead nodded, her ponytail bobbing up and down. She leapt out of the monk's line of sight, eager to find other customers.

"So that's why you were so awful at games in the Gamblerealm," Azama said, grinning.

"Quiet, you," Orochi said, annoyed

Azama snickered and twirled his Sun Festal around.

A sizable crowd had amassed by this point. Almost all the Hoshidians had gathered round to see the two princes tussle. Anna was wildly grabbing gold, diving between crowd members, and writing betting tickets.

"Are they gonna fiiiiight?" Setsuna whispered to the nearest person – Azura.

"I dearly hope not," Azura replied. "Otherwise, I'll have to sing."

"That's very threatening," Setsuna replied, nodding.

Azura tilted her head. "Are you mocking me?"

"No, of course not," Setsuna replied, yawning.

Azura frowned. "Are you being sarcastic or sincere? I cannot tell."

Setsuna blinked. "No."

Azura shook her head. "No? As in you're not being sarcastic, or you're not being sincere? Quite truthfully, I don't understand."

Azama tapped Azura's bare shoulder. The dancer spun around.

"As much as I would love to continue overhearing this delightful chat," Azama said, "the princes look like they're about to start doing something exciting, and I simply cannot wait for some entertainment! So, please, be quiet, for the sake of anyone nearby with ears. No one enjoys your incessant yammering."

Azura and Setsuna quickly shut up.

"Why would Corrin side with someone so red?" Xander questioned. "Bad people are always marked red! Have you seen those invisible soldiers? Their eyes aren't black, I'm telling you!"

"How would I see invisible soldiers? And they're more of a purple than a red. Regardless, all of you, the Nohrians, are objectively the bad guys! Your color scheme is black! Read any literary work made in the last four-hundred years, fiend! The heroes aren't the ones with the 'grim' color scheme, let me tell you that much!"

Xander's eyelid twitched. "Oh, now you're judging us based on our color... scheme? I'll have you know that dark is totally hip right now! Dark is dank!"

Oboro piped up from somewhere in the crowd. "No, it's not. The current in-color is blood orange."

Ryoma was now scowling marginally less than usual. "See? Blood orange!" He grinned and patted his blood-orange chest armor. "I'm hipper than you!"

"You're wearing red," Oboro commented.

"Not blood orange?"

She shook her head. "Nope. Red as a cherry. Oh, and for future reference: hip people don't use the word 'hip.'"

Ryoma's normal expression returned. "Damnation."

"Looks like I win this one, Hoshidan filth!" Xander said, a smile barely visible on his face.

"Hey!" Oboro cried, giving Xander a death glare. "You can't just call him that - that's our thing! Oh, and black is just as 'out' as red right now. Sorry, but you're both unfashionable."

"Damn it," both princes muttered. Then they resumed their completely mature scowling competition.

Male Corrin got up from the bed, rubbing his back and smacking his mouth. He peered through the large window, spotting a blotch of red engaging with Xander.

"That must be…Ryoma," he guessed. "And Xander." He squinted harder. "And…hey, is that…Anna trying to pacify the two? Oh, no. She's taking bets. Holy cow, that's a lot of people!"

He grabbed at each of the window's sides and pushed upwards. The whole frame was about half his size, stopping just above his waist.

"Hi, Anna!" he shouted. "Hello, Ryoma! And howdy, Xander!"

The two princes stopped glaring at each other only to instead gawk at the prince.

"Corrin?" Xander shouted. "Is that you?"

Male Corrin nodded. "Yep! How are you doing?"

Ryoma frowned. "You know this guy?"

Xander nodded. "He's my brother."

Ryoma frowned. "Why's he naked?"

Male Corrin raised an eyebrow. "What do you mean?

Ryoma and Xander waited for it to sink in.

"…I'm not wearing any clothes, are I?"

Xander shook his head. "I'm afraid not, brother. And neither is the tramp behind you."

Female Corrin was beet-red, hiding in a corner off to the side, hugging the wall to stay unseen by the window. "Damn it all!" she whimpered, cowering.

"My sister is not a tramp!" Ryoma cried. "If anything, your Corrin seduced mine!"

"Trust me when I say that there is no way in hell that my Corrin seduced anyone," Xander said, rolling his eyes.

The entirety of the Hoshidian camp and Ryoma got a good view of the Corrins' naked forms. Both Corrins were now the color of a plump, ripe tomato, their hands strategically trying to flail around and cover their respective privates.

It wasn't working.

"Close your eyes, Sakura!" Hinoka said, covering Sakura's petite head and wrapping her arms around the girl's eyes. Sakura complied, squeezing her eyes shut and whimpering against her taller sister. Hinoka started cooing softly and stroking her sister's back.

"That's sick," Saizo said. "Preserve some decency, man!"

"Oh dear," Azama said. "I love a good naked frolicking as much as the next monk, but this is rather much even for me. Mitama, close your eyes.

Mitama sleepily rubbed her eyes. "Two Corrins naked / I want to go back to sleep / Forgetting this travesty."

"Wait, why don't we just shut the curtains?" Male Corrin asked his other self, frowning.

"Oh," Female Corrin replied. "I didn't think of that!"

She scampered to the window, slammed it shut, and then moved the curtain to cover the window from the public eye.

Jakob, located within the crowd of Hoshidians, began to cackle madly.

"Heh heh heh…hah hah! It worked! It worked!" He jumped jumping around, pumping a fist into the air. "My plan worked!"

Hayato, who was standing behind the butler, frowned. "What plan?"

Jakob scowled, turning away from Hayato and rolling his eyes. "Nothing, Father. Leave me alone."

Hayato raised an eyebrow. "'Father'?" He walked around the butler and narrowed his vision, staring intensely into Jakob's eyes.

Jakob gulped.

"Rhajat, is that you in there?" Hayato asked, tilting his head.

"Oh, hell," Jakob cursed. "How did you know?"

Hayato shrugged. "You forgot the accent."

"Damn."

"Don't swear around me, young lady!"

Hayato sighed. "Rhajat, what did you do to Corrin?"

Jakob twiddled his thumbs, looking upwards. "How do you know it involves Corrin?"

"It always involves Corrin," Hayato replied.

Jakob nodded. "Point taken."

"Now," Hayato said, "Tell me why you're in Jakob's body, and what exactly your 'plan' with the Corrins was, and maybe I won't ground you until the end of this war."

"Father…"

"Now, daughter."

"I…I may have laced the Corrins' tea with aphrodisiacs," Jakob said quietly.

Hayato grabbed the butler by the ear and began to pull Jakob towards the treehouse. He put up no resistance, only whining softly.

"You will climb up that treehouse this very moment and explain everything you did to Corrin!" Hayato informed.

Jakob frowned. "But-"

Hayato's right eye twitched. "NOW!"

"Yes, Father," Jakob mumbled, climbing up the treehouse ladder. Hayato shook his head and followed.

Author's Notes:

Remember when I said the Ghostrealm arc would continue this chapter?

Yeah, I lied.

Okay, so I was originally going to continue it here, but I couldn't integrate into this chapter naturally; with all the back-and-forth-ing that happened in this chapter, it would've been a weird transition. Sorry! It's one of the most interesting stories, so I'll continue that one as soon as I can, damn it!

I hope this chapter had more than enough events to make up for it, though! The plot is picking up again, and there's more going on this chapter. Last chapter was just mostly...talking.

And yes, I had planned the Jakob-being-Rhajat and drugging the dragons with aphrodisiacs plot-twist ever since I introduced the Hoshido Jakob. S-see? I'm not just making this shit up as I'm going along anymore, guys!

Also, I promised some of you guys I'd integrate certain characters! I'm still working on it! This chapter just turned out longer than I expected, so they'll be pushed back a bit. They'll show up, promise!

As always, please give me feedback! I'm like a drug addict, except, the drug is feedback. So, uh...hook me up, fellas. Especially bad feedback or criticism. I really do appreciate suggestions for improvements and constructive criticism.

Thanks to The Apocryphal One for pointing out a continuity error!

Edit as of December 2017: Fixed grammar.