Harry Potter and the Blazin Goblet
A Long Road Back
I don't own any of the characters, all JKR, no profit to be made.
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"Ron! No girl would ever like that!"
"What do you mean? Why not?" Ron said heatedly to Hermione.
Ron and Hermione continued to argue, while Harry ignored them as they followed behind the rest of the Weasley family toward platform 9 and ¾.
"So that cab ride was pretty uncomfortable. Smelled like somebody hurled didn't it." Harry said in a casual tone, but Ron and Hermione ignored him as the family started to pass through the magical barrier.
"You're not even listening to me right now are you? I could say anything right now and you would never know." Harry said his eyes resting on his two arguing friends.
"Like Hermione, you are a nerd of Potsie like proportions and you bitch so much you may as well be a Teamster. And you Ron, you are so fucking clueless you make Helen Keller look like a genius… That is before the miracle workers showed up and knocked some smarts into her." Harry said in an elaborate manner with a smile.
"Yes, yes, yes Harry whatever." Hermione replied in an exasperated tone.
Harry let out a laugh before passing through the barrier.
--
"Harry what do you think?" Ron said with a desperate grimace as he passed through the barrier along with Hermione.
"About what?"
"Ron, women want romance." Hermione said in an exasperated tone.
"They don't want, they don't want…" Hermione paused thinking of the right word.
"They don't want Mr. Toad's Wild Ride!" Hermione said in a low seething tone.
Harry stepped up to Hermione with a sly look "Come on Hermione. Everyone wants Mr. Toad's Wild Ride."
Hermione grunted in anger as she stomped off towards the Hogwarts Express.
"What's Mr. Toad's Wild Ride?" Ron said with a confused expression.
--
"Well goodbye, be good!" Mrs. Weasley stated to her children, Harry, and Hermione as they hung out the doorway to the Hogwarts Express as it prepared to depart.
"I'd say see you at Christmas, but I imagine you will stay at school with the big event. I'm sure Bill and Charlie will be there as well at some point." Mrs. Weasley said at the train slowly began to move.
"What is going on at Hogwarts? We know something is, but what?" Fred shouted to his mother as the train picked up steam.
"I can't tell!" Mrs. Weasley shouted back waving goodbye.
Harry flung his arm up smacking Fred in the chest "You know, the big spectacle where Voldie stomps all over my ass, only for me to pull an upset and win the big game."
After a chuckle the group split up as Ginny and the Twins wandered away to find friends. Harry, Hermione, and Ron found an empty compartment lugging in their trunks and stowing them away.
"Ah, time to relax." Ron said plopping down on one of the cushy seats, while Hermione gave him a glare still not happy with the outcome of their argument.
Harry plopped down next to the window and rested his head on the window watching the landscape pass him by and the weather change from pleasant to poor. The trio sat in silence for some time, before Harry opened the window and pulled out a cigarette.
"Harry you can't do that on the train!" Hermione screeched.
Harry shrugged "Fuck it" he said lighting up his cigarette.
Ron just shrugged and pulled out his chocolate frog cards skimming through them, while Hermione glared daggers at Harry as he flicked his finished cigarette out the window.
The door to the compartment was pulled open and the trio looked up seeing their school friends Dean and Seamus enter.
"Hey Ron, Harry, Hermione what's going on?" Seamus said giving them each a nod as he spoke.
"Not much Finnigan." Harry said giving Seamus a fist bump.
"So Seamus was telling me about the World Cup, heard it was an awesome match, and the Death Eaters, not to mention I heard you guys hit up the after party." Dean said eyeing the trio.
"It was a great match. Who would have thought Krum catching the snitch, while his team was still down." Ron said.
"Yeah, which makes your favorite Quidditch player a retard." Harry stated shaking his head in a disappointed fashion.
"Hey! He just wanted to end the match on his own terms!" Ron replied in a defensive manner.
"Yeah, yeah." Harry muttered as he rolled his eyes in disbelief.
"Heard you finally hit the party scene Potter?" Dean said intervening into the conversation between Ron and Harry.
"Hell yeah I did. I never should have missed it. What the fuck is the matter with you guys. Not inviting me… I'm fucking Harry Potter man. Like Voldie ass kicker extraordinaire."
"Well you didn't ever seem like the type." Dean said with a shrug.
"Yeah, well you can get a good look at a T-bone by sticking your head up a bull's ass, but I'd rather take the butcher's word for it." Harry said with a grin.
The group laughed a bit before the door to the compartment opened again and Neville walked in.
"Hey guys, what's going on?"
"Not much Neville, just talking about the World Cup." Seamus replied.
"Oh, was it good? Gran didn't want me to go." Neville said with a sigh and a sad expression.
"Don't worry about it neither could this chud Dean." Seamus said smacking Dean in the chest.
"Oh, that's to bad." Neville said, but his expression brightened a bit.
"So what else is going on?" Neville asked.
"So guys, we got the big feast tonight what about after?" Harry said.
"What do you mean Harry?" Neville replied with a slanted glance.
"I mean it is our first day back at Hogwarts. I'm thinking a beer bust." Harry said nodded his head with a smirk.
"Great idea Harry, but it is usually tough to come by liquor this early on in the year. Not to mention last year Snape busted the end of the year bash in the our usual party spot in the dungeons." Seamus said his face forming a disgusted look.
"Well alcohol isn't a problem." Harry said with a grin as he reached up tapping his trunk stowed above him with a grin.
"A place to have it, fucking greasy git." Harry said sulking a bit.
"Ah, fuck it. We'll find a place." Harry said as Hermione looked on with a look, but she did not say anything amongst the five boys.
"A beer bust?" Neville said his face filled with nervousness.
"Neville." Harry said as he got up and sat by Neville putting an arm around him.
"Trust me. You're going to love it." Harry said pointing his finger in Neville's face as Dean, Seamus, and Ron all laughed.
"Alright, well time to spread the word and in an effort to do so…" Harry paused and reached into his shirt pocket and pulled out a greasy blunt.
"I think we need to get some people together and blaze up this compartment." Harry said in a laughing manner as the others chuckled.
"Alright, lets go get some folks together." Dean said as he got up with Seamus.
"One hour, back here… People who aren't narks." Harry said with a knowingly look.
--
"Alright, come on Ron, Neville stay here, Hermione pleasure if you are here when we get back, otherwise I understand." Harry said as he stood up from his seat.
"Harry I don't think th…" What Hermione was about to say was cut off as the compartment door slide open and Draco Malfoy entered flanked by his cronies Crabbe and Goyle.
"So Potty, how was the filthy American mudblood?" Malfoy said with a sneer as Crabbe and Goyle snickered.
"What Malfoy? Jealous?" Harry stated as he sat back down with his hands behind his head extending his legs.
Malfoy skewed up his face in a look of rage.
"Jealous? Of what? I could have any girl I wanted, but I unlike you, will only have women with pureblood pride." Malfoy said his expression changing to a mad glint.
Harry rolled his eyes.
"Who are you kidding? You couldn't get a chick you mook. You're to weird and sad."
Malfoy glared at Harry for a few moments "Hardly Potter, I just only go after the finest of women. Pureblood and honorable." Malfoy finished puffing out his chest a bit as if to be honorable.
"Yeah, those inbred type women, who would go down on that fucking sick thing known as Voldemort in a moment's notice." Harry stated bluntly
"And those chicks are the type of chicks I wouldn't fuck with the Staff of Merlin." Harry said smiling slightly as he held back his laughter.
"You're so gross Potter." Malfoy said before grabbing his two cronies and dragging them away.
"Have fun with your left and right Malfoy." Harry said as he rushed to the compartment door and pointing at Crabbe and Goyle.
"How do you do that?"
Harry turned seeing Ron standing behind Hermione giggling madly, while Hermione beamed at him.
Harry shrugged "It just comes to me."
--
"Hey Cho! What's going on babe?" Harry said leaning in the compartment filled with Hufflepuffs and Ravenclaws.
Cho giggled a bit "Nothing Harry." She replied smiling back.
"Harry." Cedric said nodding his head.
"Oh, hey Chas how are you?" Harry said nodded back to Cedric.
"Cedric." Cedric replied, but Harry ignored him.
"They cool?" Harry said nodded his heads towards the spare Ravenclaws and Hufflepuffs.
"Yes Harry they are cool." Cho replied, while Cedric shook his head and looked out the window.
Harry smiled and pulled out his blunt slightly "We gonna blaze up before getting to Hogwarts in about forty minutes."
--
"Ah, how goes it fellow Quidditch team? Lee." Harry said as he strutted into the compartment filled with his fellow Quidditch team and Lee Jordan.
"What's going on Harry?"
"Not much Katie how's Wood?" Harry said plopping himself down on Angelina's lap.
Angelina groaned, "Harry what the hell?"
"Hey just trying to get comfortable." Harry muttered to Angelina.
"And you are comfortable babe."
Angelina rolled here eyes in response as she adjusted herself to make herself more comfortable.
"So Katie I think that Ravenclaw friend of yours is uh, coming to a smoke a blunt with us, you guys down?" Harry said raising his eyebrows a bit.
"Harry smoking pot?" Alicia said a mild look of shock on her face.
"Our Harry." Fred said.
"Has grown up." George finished.
"It is Leanne. In case you wanted to know." Katie said to Harry who shook his head to say he didn't.
"And since you asked Wood is great." Katie replied to Harry shaking his head.
"That's good, so anyway smoking a blunt and then beer bust, after the feast tonight." Harry said gliding his hand through the air smoothly.
"Sounds good Harry, but I expect you to be ready to play quidditch this season." Angelina said sternly.
"I'm expected to be Captain and I don't need a stoned seeker."
"Didn't you hear? Big event at Hogwart's where I'm expected to die a gruesome death." Harry said motioning to the Twins.
"No need to worry of course." Harry said with a smile.
--
"Fuck." Harry stated as he entered their compartment that was now overloaded with people.
"Hey Harry" rang out as rain started beating against the window followed by "we smoking?"
"Fuck yeah we are and then some." Harry said pulling out a few blunts from his shirt pockets.
Harry sparked up the first blunt taking a long hit from the blunt before passing it to the person nearest him.
"Who the fuck are you?" Harry said as he blew smoke out.
"Cedric, Cedric Diggory you asshole."
"Oh, Chas, what's up man?" Harry said blowing out a large puff of smoke in the crowded compartment.
Cedric shook his head in response.
"Alright, we need a place to throw a beer bust later on. Who knows a good one?" Harry said blazing up the next blunt.
The compartment erupted in discussion as blunts were passed around. Mentions of the dungeon from the previous year to the kitchens went around.
"Hermione I see you stuck around." Harry said coming face to face with Hermione whose eyes were glazed over a bit.
"Harry, I'm not about it, but it makes you happy." Hermione said with a shrug.
"I'm not following?" Harry said shaking his head in confusion.
"What I'm saying is that I haven't seen you truly happy till now, and that is all I want to see, is you happy." Hermione said with a smile.
Harry smiled back amongst the chatter.
"Hermione. It is like I said I'm just living life. I'm happy doing that. You do what you need to. You're my friend and as long as you are there that's good enough." Harry said beaming at Hermione.
"Hey Harry!" A voice sounded in the crowd.
"What?" Harry replied over his shoulder.
"What about the prefect bathroom as a place for a party?"
Harry turned facing the crowded smoke filled room.
"What prefect bathroom?"
"It's by the portrait of Boris the Bewildered." As Parvati Patil's face came into view.
"Yeah, but that is more like a pool than a bathroom?" Harry heard Katie shout amongst the tightly packed group, his mind racing.
"Quiet! Quiet!" Harry shouted in the small compartment.
"Anyone know how to get into the prefect bathroom?"
"Yeah." A few voices sounded out.
"Chas, how does it work?" Harry said stepping to the nearest voice by him.
"It is Cedric. And yes the password is squeaky clean." Cedric muttered.
Harry nodded his head smiling.
"Alright, beer bust tonight prefect's bathroom. Pool party! Password squeaky-clean. Spread the word to those trustworthy folks." Harry shouted.
The compartment erupted in an eruption of chatter, but quieted, as there was a knock on the door making everyone fall silent. Harry dug his way through the smoke filled compartment to the door.
"Who is it?"
"Just wondering if anyone wants anything off the trolley?" An older woman's voice sounded.
Harry smiled his grin going wide as he nodded his head. Giggles sounded throughout the compartment. Harry pulled out his money and pulled out a stack of galleons.
Harry only opened the door slightly, but a waft of smoke poured out the door.
"Just the leave cart." Harry said handing the older witch a stack of galleons.
The witch peered over Harry waving her hand in front of her face.
"What is going on in there?"
"Just people living. L-I-V-I-N." Harry replied.
--
End Chapter
