A/N: Thanks for your patience, dear reader. I know it's been a long time updating but to compensate, this is a longish chapter.
Alone, Olivia burst into her apartment and slammed the door behind her. She locked the extra bolts and made a beeline for her couch. Still reeling from her meeting with Huang and his note, she crashed onto the soft cushions and began massaging her temples. Mandatory leave of absence. The words blinked in her mind's eye, their rebuff and judgement slamming into her chest. "Dammit!" she shouted. Restless, she jumped up from the sofa and fumbled through her CD collection to find the right one to match her mood. Alanis Morissette's Jagged Little Pill, check. Olivia shoved the CD into her player and skipped to the song she needed right now, You Oughta Know. Its harsh cords and agonized vocals perfectly suited her mood. It was her go-to song after a difficult case, especially when a perp got away with his crimes. Like Max. No, because Max hadn't committed a crime. Or had he? Olivia rubbed her hand down her face and restarted the song so she could get its full effect. She began singing aloud, shouting the lyrics. The line, I'm not quite well, I thought you should know felt like a cruel joke. She internalized the words of Alanis' yelling-song, but it felt good, so good to let it out. When she got to the line, cause the joke that you laid in the bed that was me …Ha! Olivia squeezed her eyes shut. She was a joke. A mirthless laugh escaped her, and she slammed off her music, then headed for the bathroom. She splashed cold water on her face and looked up. "What kind of cop are you?" she asked her reflection in the mirror above the sink. "A pretty lousy one, that's what kind," she replied. And now with the mandatory leave of absence and George telling her to get a rape kit, there was no way to keep her failures secret any longer. She needed an out.
Fearfully determined, Liv strode to her room and grabbed her phone. She dialled the number of the person she trusted most to help her in this situation; the most impartial and honest one she could think of. The only one who didn't have an agenda, and who'd give it to her straight and hopefully get Huang off her back.
"ME's office, Melinda speaking."
"Hi Melinda. It's Olivia. I … I need to talk to you."
"If this is about the Morgan case, I'm afraid I can't discuss it with you, Olivia. Cragen told me you're off that case."
"No, I only need your advice. Please. It's personal."
"Alright, do you want to come over to the lab? I'll be done with this autopsy in about an hour. We can go to Maloney's and have a drink after."
"Drinks?" Olivia felt bile rising up her throat at the memory of those whisky sours. "Not a bar. How about the Starbucks near the lab? I can meet you there."
"Good idea. That way you won't have to look at any dead bodies either."
"Thanks Mel, I really appreciate it."
"See you soon, Liv."
Elliot and Fin were on a mission. They arrived at the Novotel in silence, Elliot clenching his fists and Fin sniffing loudly. The two cops marched in unison, their goal propelling them in a state of synchronicity. When they reached Max's hotel door, they both pounded on it. One two, one two, one two, taking turns.
Max opened the door and faltered at the sight of the angry men before him. He recognized Fin, of course, but the other man seemed even scarier. "What do you want?" he asked them fearfully before jumping out of their way when they barged in.
Elliot closed the door behind him and glared at the tall, blond man before him. "I think you can guess why we're here."
Max shook his head stupidly, eyes darting around the room wildly. "You're Olivia's friend," he said to Fin. "Why did you come back? Did she, uh lose something?"
"Yeah, as a matter of fact she did," Fin snarled. He put his face in Max's face. "She lost her dignity. My pal and I are here to get it back for her."
Max backed away and stumbled over his open suitcase. "You're packing? Leaving so soon?" Fin said.
"I …I …uh … have to get home," Max stammered.
"Not so fast, lover boy. Don't know if you remember but I promised to hunt you down if you hurt Olivia."
"Hurt her?" Max's eyes flew open. "I don't know what she told you, but I didn't hurt her. You saw her—not a mark on her. You were there!"
"You wanna talk about what I saw? Ok, let's go there, man." Fin pushed Max backward until the taller man lost his balance and fell onto the bed. Fin loomed over him while Elliot watched. "Hmm, where should I begin? I saw a woman crying in the shower after the water had gone cold. I saw her clothes on the floor, and I saw you pretending everything was fine." Out of the corner of his eye, Fin noticed Elliot's face turning ever redder and his fists tighter at the mention of Olivia crying.
Max shrank back on the bed and scooted further from the edge. "She was sick because she drank too much. That's why she needed a long shower, to get rid of the vomit, and that's why she was crying." He looked from one man to the other, seeking absolution.
"You got the part about her drinking too much right," Fin huffed out angrily. "She was too drunk to consent."
"Consent? She consented! She followed me from the pub and she wanted it."
"I highly doubt that," Elliot said. "You have no idea what mental state she was in when you found her, or the horrible week she's had. She was upset and drunk. I know Olivia; no way she would have gone to bed with you willingly."
Max sat up straight and looked Elliot in the eye. "You're wrong. She told me she wanted me inside of her. Those were her words! I happily obliged."
"Oh I bet you did, you sack of shit!" Elliot growled. He pushed past Fin and grabbed Max's elbow, forcing him to stand. "She was so drunk that she barfed. You were with her at the pub. How much did she drink?"
"Are you a cop too? Because this is starting to sound like an interrogation." Max drew himself to his full height and looked down at the two men. "I can call hotel security right now to have you two removed."
Fin glanced at Elliot and gave him a look, as though telling him to calm down. "We're lookin' out for her. She's real important to us, you get that? And if you don't want to talk to us here, we can hammer this out at the station."
"I'm not going anywhere with you!" Max exclaimed incredulously.
"Thanks for meeting with me on such short notice, Melinda," Olivia told her friend. The two women were ensconced in big comfy armchairs near the fireplace at Starbucks.
"How come we never meet here? This is a great location," Melinda observed. "My Chai Latte smells like heaven."
"Yeah, it beats a beer any day. I'm off booze for the moment anyway." Olivia cradled her warm decaf Mocha in her hands and snuggled more deeply into the large green wingback.
"How come?" Melinda took a sip of her Chai drink and sighed with pleasure.
"That's what I wanted to talk to you about, actually. Mel, I … uh … I did something really stupid the other day."
"You mean with the Morgan case?"
"No. In addition to the Morgan case," Olivia said, wincing. She peered at her friend over the rim of her cup and waited.
"I'm not going to judge you, Olivia," Melinda reassured her. "You can trust me."
"I know, and I appreciate it. That's why I called you. That, and because I need your medical help."
"Are you okay?" Mel leaned forward, a look of concern etched on her face.
"No, not this time," Olivia admitted. She leaned forward, closer to her friend and scanned the vicinity for curious ears. In a low voice, she said, "I had very drunken, regrettable sex with a complete stranger the other day. Drunk because I was upset about the Morgan case. It's a big cluster, uh, mess."
The ME sighed. "It happens to the best of us, Liv, especially given the pressure we're under with our work. Did you use protection?"
"No, I seem to recall him telling me that he wanted to go in bare. He said he was clean." Olivia blushed furiously and put her hot drink down on the table before her. Its heat was exacerbating the redness in her cheeks.
Melinda's eyes widened and her jaw dropped slightly. She quickly recovered her composure and went into medical mode. "Just in case he wasn't, I can run a blood panel for STD's," she said. "Are you on the Pill?"
"No, it was giving me migraines."
"I can give you some levonorgestrel. I've got some back at the office. Has it been less than seventy-two hours since you had sex with this guy?"
"It happened last night, so twenty-four hours."
"Good. I'll give you two dosages to take twelve hours apart. You might feel nauseated and start spotting. But most women tolerate it quite well. Though, I have to warn you that Plan B is not 100% effective. If you already ovulated and conceived last night, it's not an abortion pill. It can't undo what's done."
Olivia leaned back into her chair and closed her eyes. "Not 100% effective? God, Mel, what if …?"
"We'll worry about that if it happens, alright? I'm here, Olivia." Melinda grasped Liv's fingers in her own and squeezed. "How about we go back to my office after you finish your drink? I'll run the blood panel and give you the pills."
Olivia nodded dumbly, and closed her eyes as she leaned back in the armchair. Her thoughts were in turmoil, swelling and crashing over her psyche. She'd been unable to relax ever since finding the dead baby, Diana in that public bathroom. For days now, she had barely slept, hardly eaten and a permanent knot was lodged in her belly. Now, she needed to deal with the mandatory leave of absence and Huang's directives, or else she'd never be cleared for duty again.
"Olivia, it's going to be okay," the ME said. With consternation, she noted her friend's iron grip on the chair, and her pained expression. "The bloodwork and pills won't take long. We'll take care of everything tonight. I've got the evening off and the lab is free. Come on, bring your drink with you and we'll get it over with."
"There's more." Olivia sniffled and blinked away the tears that were beginning to form.
"Tell me."
"I'm on mandatory leave of absence because of my indiscretion," she admitted shamefully.
"Really? That's odd. Why?"
Olivia looked up at her friend with raw pain in her eyes. "Dr. Huang wants a rape kit. I … I don't think it was rape, but he won't let me work again until I get one."
"Oh my god, Olivia." Melinda's hand flew to her mouth.
"For the sake returning to work, could you do it? I don't want to go through official channels for this. No hospitals, no name, nothing. Just give the results to Dr. Huang directly."
"I can do that, Olivia. But why does Huang think it was rape?"
"Because I was very drunk."
"That's it?" Melinda leaned in and sought Liv's eyes.
"No, I told the man to stop and he didn't." Olivia saw that Melinda wanted to speak, so she held up her hand. "He was too far gone, Mel. And prior to that, I consented."
"Wow, okay then. Liv, I don't know what to say. Sounds like you're in a very grey area here. And twenty-four hours after the fact, I assume you've had a shower."
"Several."
"Alright, we'll do this to satisfy Dr. Huang. I can check for bruising at the very least. But Liv, if you were raped, it'll be good to have the kit on file in case you want to prosecute the man involved."
"I don't want to do that. I'm only doing the kit so I can return to work. Please."
"Anything you need, Liv. You make the decisions here. Come on, it's getting late."
The two women headed out to Melinda's office to take care of Olivia.
Max stood his ground, fully aware of his legal rights. He was not under arrest and he felt that the cops didn't have much to go on.
"Ok, calm down man," Fin said. He knew he could get more out of this jerk only if he de-escalated the situation. "We're not here to arrest you … for now."
"For now? What the hell is that supposed to mean? I haven't committed any crime? I had a one night stand with a beautiful woman. That's it. The only thing I'm guilty of is cheating on my wife. But last time I checked, that wasn't a crime."
"You're married?" Elliot's head shot up at Max's words. "Then I know for a fact that Olivia wouldn't have gone near you with a ten foot pole. She doesn't do married men."
"I didn't exactly tell her."
"What else didn't you tell her, huh?" Elliot's cobalt eyes glared menacingly as he stared up at Max. Max gulped and turned away from the other man's terrifying expression.
"Yeah, she was real drunk when you had her," Fin shouted, his previous call to calm now forgotten. "She was a bit confused too. How did you manipulate her to have sex with you? 'Cause I'm pretty sure she wasn't sobbing hysterically just 'cause she threw up."
"Sobbing hysterically, huh? You made my partner sob hysterically?" Elliot's nostrils flared with each word. "You're a married asshole who somehow deceived Olivia into having sex with you, and then you made her cry!" Elliot gritted his teeth and felt his fist closing of its own accord. Said fist slammed into Max's nose before Elliot could even register that he'd moved his arm. Max fell back onto the bed for a second time and covered his now bloodied face with his hands.
"Help! Help! I'm being assaulted by cops!" he yelled, as he reached for the hotel phone. Fin knocked the receiver out of his hands.
"Shut up!"
"This is police brutality!" Max said, a tremor in his voice.
"You want us to leave?" Elliot asked, his voice sickeningly sweet. "Hmm, you want us to go and leave you alone?" He pasted a chilling smile on his face.
"Yes, please leave." Max was sweating profusely now. He'd balled up tissues from the box beside his bed and wadded them up his nostrils to staunch the bleeding.
"Ok, but before we go, we just need you to answer one more question, got it?" Elliot leaned in even closer to Max. "Got it, you sick piece of crap?"
"What? What do you want to know?" Max cried. Elliot shook his head in disgust, looking at this sweaty man with Kleenex stuffed up his nose. To think that he'd had sex with Olivia. Fighting the urge to gag, he took a deep breath and fixed Max with an unblinking stare. Fin stood beside Elliot and did his best imitation of a Stabler-stare, the most intimidating thing he could think of.
"I'm a detective, so just in case you think you can screw us over with your lies, you're wrong," Elliot said.
"I wasn't lying."
"Leaving out important information then."
"Like what?"
"You tell me, because your story doesn't make sense. You meet Olivia at a pub, get her drunk, bring her back to your hotel room and have sex with her." Elliot cringed at the word sex, so Fin took over the interrogation.
"Next thing I know, you're answering her phone, begging me to come pick her up from your hotel room. How long was she in the shower for?"
"Uhhhh … I don't know …. Maybe twenty minutes?"
"Twenty minutes? No way. She was already in the shower when you answered her phone. It took me time to get here and she was still in the shower. The water had run cold. Try again."
Max wrung his hands together and blinked repeatedly. "Okay, it was closer to an hour. An hour, okay? She was in there for an hour. Are you satisfied?"
"We're just getting started, douchebag," Fin replied. He'd never forget Olivia's sobs, or the shame she'd exhibited upon being found. One night stands didn't elicit that kind of extreme reaction. "Tell us the truth and we'll leave. We only want to get at the truth, man." Fin held a fist up in the air, opening and closing it about three inches away from Max's face. Max turned as white as the tissues in his nose, the blood on them standing out starkly. Elliot cracked his knuckles.
"Alright! Alright! She thought I was somebody else. She kept calling me Mark and saying her mother couldn't break us up. She thought she was fucking some guy named Mark, okay? That's it. That's the whole truth." Max trembled and crossed his arms over his chest in a protective fashion.
"At any point, did she realize you weren't Mark?" Elliot asked, fully in detective mode now. He had to suppress the urge to pummel Max. He kept his fists tightly balled and tucked them beneath his armpits.
Max looked longingly at the door, and then at the window. His breathing was rapid and shallow and more sweat began to pour from his forehead.
"There's no escaping," Fin told him. "Answer him."
Max blinked fast, his eyelids fluttering frantically. "She did. But it was too late."
"Too late for what?" Fin asked.
"Too late to stop. She freaked out, alright? But it was too late. We were in the middle of doing it."
Elliot's fists escaped from their armpit prison. He slammed the mattress hard, causing Max to bounce a couple of times. "Did she ask you to stop?"
"I couldn't stop. I told you—it was too late. We were in the middle …"
"I heard you the first time," Elliot bellowed. "Did she ask you to stop?"
"Yes."
"And you didn't?"
"I already said that I couldn't because we were in the middle of …"
"Stand up."
"What?" Max chewed his fingernails.
"He told you to stand up. There's no such thing as not being able to stop. All you needed to do was pull out of her." Fin cornered Max from the other side, blocking his exit.
"Why do you want me to stand up?" On shaking legs, Max got up. Elliot and Fin each grabbed one of his arms.
"What's your last name?"
"Nelligan."
"Max Nelligan, you're under arrest for the rape of Olivia Benson. You have the right to remain silent …."
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