Fear's Effects
A Word: Request for Jason's POV during the first time. Which I rolled over into the the other request for his POV for the after effects of the fear gas.
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Jason wakes up swinging. His ears are ringing with insane cackling and pained whimpers, and it's a fucking relief when his fist catches on something soft that grunts as it recoils from him.
"Jay!"
He gets tangled up in some IV lines flipping off a too hard cot, but the needles rip right out of his arms with small stings of pain that help to clear his mind a bit. Bring him back a bit more into the now and away from a world made up of white grins and fearful blue eyes.
"Get off me!" Jason shrugs the hands -Dick, in uniform but no mask- off him and reels back hard into a cabinet of medical supplies. It slams into the wall of what looks to be a small bolthole with a rattling crash. Jason slumps there for a bit, tired as fuck and panting from that little bit of exertion. "Just fuck off Dickhead."
Dick looks relieved and Jason'd be more worried about that if he weren't so busy trying to figure out how the fuck he got where he is now. He was chasing some deals down on the docks earlier. Breaking a few jaws on some surprised looking thugs faces is his last really clear memory. Jason drags a hand over his face hard, trying to reach for more, and he breathes in deep.
The smell hits him then. It's faint, but no one in Gotham can ever actually forget the way fear gas smells after being hit with it once. Jason pulls his hand away and something dark flakes off his fingers. Dried blood, but looking closer there's something else. A residue that fits the scent. "Fuck me, Crane?"
"You got an overdose somehow," Dick says, grim but soothing all at once. Like he's afraid he'll spook Jason somehow by saying the wrong thing. He's got his hands up and out, like he's talking to a jumper, and it'd make Jason snarl but his throat feels like ground hamburger at the moment.
He tries not to wonder what he was screaming about while out of it.
Dick's still looking at him and Jason doesn't like the look he sees there. It isn't one he's used to ever seeing in Dick. Not from before. Not from when he was a stranger who was supposed ot be his brother and only ever looked at him when there was no other choice.
It's kinda funny how Jason used to resent the hell out of the man for feeling so betrayed by Bruce giving the Robin panties over to Jason. So funny he could scream seeing pictures of that new little blondie girl wearing a fucking short skirt and being mentored by a smiling Nightwing. Being accepted into the family in a way that Jason never really had been.
Dick doesn't get to look at him like that. He's got no fucking right at all to act all concerned.
Jason does snarl, and it hurts exactly as much as he'd thought it would, "What, you looking for me to thank you for dragging my sorry ass off the streets? Damn but I must've been out of it if you're not wearing any holes."
"You got a few good swings in before I could get you on the tables," Dick's voice is flat and that look bleeds out of his eyes fast. Good, Jason doesn't want anymore misplace pity or charity. "But, I'm sorry to say," Dick's smirk makes it perfectly clear he isn't, "that the kids Oracle sent to drag you in must've made off with your guns. Probably payment for bleeding all over his camera."
Oracle is said in such a familiar way that Jason has no doubts now that she works for Bruce in someway. Jason's set back y the confirmation a bit until the last part of Dick's words hit home. Oracle has many eyes and ears, but only a few actually use cameras. And only one of them could be called a kid.
Dick's head makes a satisfying crack as it bounces off the wall when Jason shoves him into it. Both hands balked up on the stretchy material of his outer suit. "Tim? The baby fucking snitch brought me here!?"
"Jay! Take it easy," Dick grits out as hands come up around his arm. Twisting painfully enough to force Jason to let go. "Yes, one of Oracle's people brought you here. He's long gone by now. Don't worry-"
Jason's fist makes an even more satisfying crack against Dick's face. The older man drops like a sack of bricks but Jason's not paying much attention. There's better things that need to be dealt with. He grabs his jacket, tossed carelessly on the floor, and runs for it.
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The memories shake loose slowly as he alternates running with bus rides.
Jason can recall Tim's voice. Wavering and small as it told him to let go of his gun. He has one very clear image of blood rolling down Tim's face to go with it. Everything else is just nightmare fuel and Jason prays to fuck knows what that it's all just the fear gas.
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He's winded and ducking down air in gasps by the time he ends up at Tim's place. Whatever Crane did to him still kicking his ass hard.
There's no light on, no sign if life as he lets himself into the second floor room. Tim's sacked out. Jason can only see a hint of his hair poking out from a blanket burrito. There's no obvious sign of distress, but Tim's good at hiding a lot.
It takes a few pulls the extract Tim from the blankets, and he makes a distressed noise at the action that does bad things to Jason's heart. Tim looks fine though when he rolls him over. Better than fine even. The sick mottling of bruises is gone now. Leaving Tim completely unmarked.
There's no new bruising, no sign that Jason had hurt him more. No sign that anything he thought had happened actually did.
Tim's eyelids flutter slightly in the throes of a dream. The fear and adrenaline that'd carried Jason through a good portion of the city leaves him fast, and Jason slips onto the bed. It creaks under his weight but Jason's tired. To damn tired in more ways than he ever thought possible.
He kicks off his boots and slides into the bed with Tim. Tucking his head under his chin when Tim rolls over and nuzzles himself in close to Jason. Unconsciously seeking out the source of heat in the bed.
Jason breathes in the scent of Tim that he's missed so much it almost hurts to have it again and closes his eyes. Letting himself go and get the rest he really needs.
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The sun's edging up into the sky when Jason wakes up. He's almost too warm from sleeping fully dressed, but he's too damn comfortable to want to do anything to fix that. He dozes for a while. Not fully asleep, but flirting with it until his bladder demands his cooperation. It's not easy letting Tim go, but he's not got much choice.
He kicks the battered bag Tim carries on his way back. It's solid and rattles reassuringly enough that Jason knows where every piece of gear he's missing is.
Tim's rolled over into Jason's spot during his brief trip to the bathroom and Jason eases back into the bed. Propping his back against the headboard so he's sitting up. Tim, again, rolls over towards him. Face smashing itself against Jason's thigh and one arm getting flung out over him.
Jason grins and reaches down to trace Tim's face in the now brighter light of the morning. Ghosting his index finger along unblemished skin and lightly trailing the tip along his lips. Feeling the faint stir of breath as he does.
It's soothing in a way that very few things are to him anymore. Jason touches each part of Tim's skin that's exposed. Memorizing the bits by touch and sight. Wanting this one moment here to stretch on for longer than it can and knowing it's already coming to an end as the pulse he's been periodically checking speeds up and Tim's face stops being so slack looking.
"I'm sorry," Jason says and feels his throat clicking as he speaks. Not as painful as last night, but he could do with some orange juice and a gallon of water. "Don't know how that fucker got the jump on me, but..."
"It's ok," Tim's voice is low and a little scratchy too as he turns his face to press harder into Jason's leg. He's not flinching or pulling back and Jason feels damn good about that. "I'm sorry too."
He's sorry? Jason frowns and rubs a little harder at the skin he's touching. Edging just past the neck of the shirt Tim's wearing. His memory is pretty fucked from last night, but Jason's pretty damn sure that Tim has nothing to apologize for. "For what?"
"For getting so mad about," Tim sighs and pulls away. Jason goes still and doesn't reach for him as he rolls onto his back. Blue eyes deadly serious as Tim looks up at him. "The knife. I shouldn't have said-"
"Forget it," Jason cuts him off quick, the memory of that day still stings but Jason deserved it. Fuck Jason deserved more than that really. He looks away and wants to shrug it all off, shrug it away, because Tim doesn't pull back when he puts his hand down on his shoulder.
And this is good, damn good, Jason wonders if it's too much to ask that it just be like this between them. That they not talk about it because the argument could kick up again and leave them both more hurt than before. Jason shakes his head sharply. "It was stupid. I get it."
The mattress shifts with Tim, but he doesn't say anything in response. Fingers reach out and drag down Jason's nose and to his mouth. Barely brushing his lips in passing. "How you feeling?"
"I'll be fine," Jason grins, eyes sliding back to Tim who is smiling slightly right back at him. He catches Tim's retreating hand and presses a kiss to the fingertips. Tasting the faint tang of salt and something that might be rust. "Much better now, baby snitch."
"Strange how that works," Tim says and his voice goes high and strangled as Jason presses a kiss to each finger individually. Biting every other one gently just to hear the way his voice hitches in surprise. "I think, you've got a promise to fill if you're up for it though."
And that is a damn good point. Jason chuckles and lets Tim go long enough to get a hand in his soft hair. Pulling him in and urging his head to tilt enough to make that first kiss, their first real one, sweet and perfect.
Tim's lips are soft and giving under his own. Shifting as Tim moves up and into his lap. Getting close enough for Jason to wrap him up completely in his arms. So he can feel nothing else but Tim against him.
Tim sighs and Jason takes the opening as it's presented. Easing his tongue into Tim's mouth with all the finesse he managed to learn before dying, when every encounter with a pretty little thing never went beyond what they could get away with hiding out in a dusty closet at school or behind a velvet curtain at a gala event.
Fleeting little moments and crushes so far removed from the weight of Tim on his lap and the noises he makes as Jason flips them over to press him into the bed. Putting his weight behind the kiss as Tim spreads his legs wide around Jason. Letting him in so they're pressed tight together and Tim's rubbing up against him helplessly. Jason feels the change through both their layers when Tim starts to get hard. That's every bit as fucking fantastic as it is painful for him because Jason's still fully armored and the cup in the jockstrap he's wearing isn't doing him one damn bit of good right now.
Jason breaks off with a gasp and can't help rolling down on Tim even as the pressure of his growing erection is starting to get painful. Tim feels it too going by his slight flinch and Jason manages to force himself back a bit more, get a hand into his jeans to shift things around enough to be workable.
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[Obvious break for ratings. Feel free to see author's profile for links to unedited fic on other sites.]
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"Going to do that again, baby," Jason groans before pulling Tim into a kiss. Pressing his tongue in deep to show how damn much he means those words.
Every fucking time he sees Tim, any fucking where. Jason's not going to be satisfied with anything less than this. Tim all pliant as he pushes him back into the bed. Sweetly responding to each kis, and his skin all warm under Jason's hands. Making tiny little noises that'd make Jason crazy if he weren't so spent.
Eventually, Tim stirs and pulls away enough to look across the room. His neck arching in an invitation that Jason takes. It's a school day, Jason vaguely recalls, which means Tim's going to need to get up and going soon. "You need a shower, babe."
Jason laughs as he shifts back, getting a good feel for the way his pants have become stick and tacky against his skin. "We both need one actually."
Tim snorts out his own laugh and pushes Jason out of the bed with his feet.
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