AN: I love not having to worry about writing school papers and studying for tests. But I'm distracted and conflicted with other things. I want to read a ton of things at the same time: fanfiction, the entire Harry Potter series (again, of course), and I recently acquired a Kobo e-reader, equipped with 100 classic novels I'm dying to read. But I also want to write this story. There really aren't enough hours in the day to write, read, work, and sing. I'll be editing my earlier chapters in the next few days, and the boyfriend is coming to see me, so another update may not be possible for about 2 weeks. Boo.
But please let me know what you think of this chapter. I love everyone's feedback. I hope you all had a great new year!
CHAPTER 10: THE GRANGER PROGRESS, THE PROJECT PROGRESS
Severus was sullen. Not like he wasn't ordinarily, but moreso. And the more he thought about it, the more sullen he became. It wasn't his life he was particularly upset about. He'd accepted that his life wasn't going to be easy. He was born into suffering, and he would constantly have to prove himself to those who were born into luxury. Who said life was fair?
No, Severus was not sullen about his life. He accounted the added amounts of frustration to the knowledge that another person, another girl, had entered his life unexpectedly, and once again, he was faced with the problem of getting her out of his thoughts.
First, it was that dreadful Evans girl. But that was his fault. A boy of 8 or 9 could never understand the consequences of befriending a girl his age. He should have cut and run as soon as things got complicated, And yet, for years he continued to spend time with Lily, and frankly, he enjoyed it. But then they decided to go down separate paths. Lily's was a nobler path of struggle, especially with her blood status. Severus decided to take a more direct approach, which was to manipulate others with fear to gain power.
It was his approach to life that destroyed their precious friendship. And that same approach was beginning to destroy his life, Severus was starting to see. But just like his relationship with Lily, it was unsalvageable. Too late to turn around. He might as well take the best of the situation, and gain as much power and influence as he could before it could take him down completely.
He almost had himself convinced that he didn't need love to survive.
Severus was already of age. He would be eighteen in January. He was an adult, and could maturely accept that his feelings for Lily Evans ran deeper than a strong friendship. He knew he loved her then, on that fateful day in his 5th year when he willingly destroyed the only thing that had worth to him in his life. Perhaps then, he never realized it, or stubbornly denied what was real.
But, as an adult, he could admit he hadn't felt anything real since he was sixteen. That his heart was no longer functioning. That it was guarded, closed, and cold as ice.
Severus mused in his bed on top of the covers. The curtains around him were pulled closed, not wanting anything disturbing his thoughts, especially the other idiots he had to share his dormitory.
He sighed exasperatedly, thinking of what he had become in the past few years. Usually, he'd resolutely accept it with acute numbness. But since she showed up, something akin to a spark enveloped his curiosity, and he wasn't used to the sensation.
Severus wasn't used to anything but potions, experiments, and learning being his sole focus. That was one of his favorite distractions from his poor excuse of a life. But now, even as he researched, his thoughts turned to that Granger girl.
His keen intellect was intrigued by the girl. Perhaps it was because the girl possessed knowledge that was a fair equivalent to his own, at least to what he saw in Ancient Runes and Potions. Or maybe it was because she was the first girl since…since Lily, to pay him any mind. But nevertheless, there was nothing he could do to stop him from thinking about her.
It wasn't any particular feelings or emotions towards the girl that distracted him. It was a gut feeling, an intuition of sorts that told him the girl was more than what she held herself to be. And one of Severus's weaknesses was solving a problem. Solving a mystery that no one else seemed to notice. Being the first to discover the answers.
Hermione Granger to Severus Snape was just that. A mystery that needed to be solved. She was full of secrets and lies that desperately needed to be exposed.
But the chit of a girl unexpectedly surprised him. Severus thought he had the upper hand because he was the only one to see her for what she was: a compulsive liar. All he had to do was figure out what she was lying about.
For the first couple weeks after she arrived, Severus tried eavesdropping into her conversations with her Gryffindor "friends", but nothing stood out of the ordinary, save how careful she was at phrasing her sentences. That only spiked his curiosity more, especially when she stopped speaking mid-phrase. He knew she was up to something.
His work was slow, but if he was to succeed, his "Granger Progress", as he liked to call it, could not be rushed. Lucky for him, the girl seemed just as much intrigued by him as he was of her. Except she definitely made it more obvious. And then she admitted to him that she already trusted him. Hermione was going to make it too easy for Severus.
All he had to do was make himself approachable to her, almost convince her to befriend him. However, the way she constantly was looking at him, her chestnut brown eyes glittering at him, smiling of sorts, almost made him want to reach out to her as well.
He shook his head and grumbled, reaching his hands over his face to rub his eyes. He needed to keep his wits about him, which meant he could not let the girl get under his skin. Severus was already running out of ways to keep her out, though. Ignoring her didn't work, because it made her try harder to gain his attention. And threatening her did the same. It was as if the girl was convinced he was…well…he couldn't figure out what kind of images the girl envisioned about him.
Severus furrowed his brow. He was conflicted about her, especially after what she admitted this afternoon in his lab. On one hand, he didn't trust a hair on her head. He knew she wasn't lying about her being on the run from the Ministry of Magic, but that didn't mean she wasn't lying about everything else.
But on the other hand, Hermione Granger was, in a way, relatable to him. Severus wished he didn't run into her that night in the corridors, because he let it slip that he'd seen her countless times crying on the windowsill. He never meant to cross her path those nights when she thought she was alone, but his Prefect duties were met with that fate.
The first time he saw her on the sill, he was frozen with wonder. At that moment, he knew exactly how hopeless and alone she was feeling. Not because he had the experience of being in a new school so suddenly, but because the last time he opened up to someone completely was when he was friends with Lily Evans. And that seemed like a lifetime ago.
Loneliness was his companion since Lily left. Severus resisted the urge to sit down next to the crying girl that night, telling her that people, in the end, would only create disappointment. The only person you could rely on was yourself.
Severus groaned again. That statement was already negated. He never wanted to be in this situation, and he swore that no other woman would get to him. He had his lifetime's worth with Lily Evans. This new girl hasn't even been at Hogwarts longer than two months…
He weighed his options. He got enough information out of her to be able to blackmail her. He could manipulate her to do his every wish and bidding. He smirked, thinking of all the wonderful things he could make her do…make her perform.
A frown formed on Severus's face. That wouldn't do. He never wanted to be ruthless, like the majority of his friends were. They would lure unsuspecting women like Granger, convince them that their intentions were pure, have them practically begging to do their wishes, and then they would dispose of the used goods. No, he may not have a functioning heart, but he wasn't heartless.
Abuse and hatred wasn't new to Severus. He firsthandedly witnessed a more advanced stage of it since he could remember. His father was not a nice man. His mother, because of her husband, became despondent and apathetic about life. True, he knew she loved him, but nevertheless, if she put a toe out of line, the both of them would be mutilated by the drunkard. Eileen had to learn to keep her mouth shut, do as was asked, and her and her son would get the necessities of life.
Severus vowed to never turn into half the man old Tobias Snape was.
His thoughts then ventured to the memories of Granger in their classes. He was impressed by her knowledge of Ancient Runes. He himself was investing time into that class to help him gain ground in the medicinal field. He assumed Granger was following the same path, since her experience with potions seemed extensive as well.
She truly was a bright witch. This fact helped him steer his mind toward cooperation rather than manipulation. How could he even consider abusing the woman, his intellectual equal, when they could achieve wonders together through research?
Once the idea of forming an alliance with Granger to research new potions and techniques for medicines and science, he could not get it out of his head. She was capable of so much with him. They could be unstoppable.
But I barely know this chit! How could I form an alliance with this girl? I can't go on assuming that I'll be powerful with her in my league! She has just as much potential of ruining me!
This was a lie. Perhaps if Granger was the goody-two-shoes he originally believed her to be, there wouldn't be a chance in all of Hades that they could team together for research. She would become bewildered and untrustworthy, with the risk of having her turn him in. The average student attending Hogwarts would behave that way if they were in the room with his horrid disposition. In fact, the average student wouldn't willingly place themselves in the room with the Slytherin. But Granger barely flinched in front of him. True, he intimidated her, but she never purposely avoided or feared him.
She negotiated. She bargained. No one dared to try anything of the sorts when it came to him. It was like…she already knew him and his own tactics…where he stood on issues…
That was the first thing that bothered him about Hermione Granger. She somehow knew the logistics of how his mind worked. She knew too much. Unknowingly.
The second thing that bothered him was that the knowledge he learned about her today was only going to make him gravitate towards her more. Severus had no idea how the girl was sorted into Gryffindor. What she did was far beyond anything he expected her to do. Casting the Imperius Curse on a Ministry Official…it was a wonder that she escaped the premises so quickly! The ancient lore of this magic was beginning to be frowned upon by the higher-ups in the Ministry. Severus believed it was only their own desire to control the wizarding world that stemmed this attitude towards the misunderstood magic.
Granger was proof that sometimes you had no choice but to resort to more powerful techniques of conquest. Through his interaction with the girl, Severus knew she probably tried to negotiate with the official, and he did not grant her request. Whatever she wanted was out of desperation. People like him and her rarely attacked because of greed. (Well, perhaps their plans, determination, and goals were indirectly connected with greed.) Nevertheless, she wouldn't have resorted to such measures if the project she was after was an absolute certain necessity.
All-in-all, it was a sure sign that weak mongrels only respond to the threat and the fear of harm and control. Severus scoffed at the ministry official's naivety. These people, these men that the wizarding world have trusted to run the government fairly, can't manage to fight off the Imperius Curse. How weak. How pathetic.
How weak? How pathetic? Snape inwardly cursed. He was one to talk. He practically promised the girl that he would protect her from his friends. What urged him to do so was beyond his intellect. Even though the majority of the school tried their best to stay away from the Slytherin gang, Severus enjoyed their company for the most part…when it didn't deal with official business. It was enjoyable to banter about Quidditch and the latest designs of racing brooms, or the recent bout of Splattergroit in the Southern end of Scotland. But when it came to doing business with the lot of them, it was an exhausting process. They were, for the most part, conniving and sneaky. He would only allow those with personal and professional experience to work with his circle of friends. Perhaps as the months went on, he would allow Granger to interact with them on a personal, one-on-one basis. But for now, it was better to avoid the situation than to set her up for unnecessary danger.
A part of him believed that she would be alright if she was faced head on with his gang's anger. She was obviously stronger than that git in the Ministry. No, Granger was rational, aside from attacking people in broad daylight. And she openly admitted she thought he was rational as well. Merlin, the two of them were too much alike already. It was overwhelming.
It was also overwhelming the amount of unanswered questions that were left after she spoke of her past. Where was she from? Why hadn't she ever gone to Hogwarts before? Where was she prior to attacking the Ministry official?
"Why do I even bloody care?" he thought out loud.
After he spoke, he heard scuffling from the other side of the room. Quickly, he tore open his curtain to find a boy sifting through one of his dormmate's trunks.
"Does Rosier know you're being a nosy busybody, Black?" Snape asked accusingly.
Regulus Black snorted, not even lifting his head from his search. "Snape, come off it. Rosier is a lazy git and asked me to get his Firewhiskey stash. Said he needs to prepare for the party later this week."
Snape lifted his eyebrow and rolled his eyes. "Honestly, if the boy cared half as much for his schoolwork than he did for his social formations, he'd be Headmaster by now.
Regulus laughed. "True, Prince. Lucky him, he's a Pureblood. He can weasel his way into any job. I wouldn't be surprised if he doesn't have to work a day in his life after graduation. Ah! Found it! Bloody hell, I think he has at least ten fifths of this stuff in his trunk."
"Let's make use of it, then. Bring one over here, Reg," Severus called out.
Regulus opened one of the bottles and took a swig of it. "Isn't it a bit early for us to be stealing Firewhisky?" he asked after the burning sensation dissipated from the back of his throat.
"Never," Severus answered simply, taking the bottle from the sixth's year's hands.
Regulus sat down next to Snape on the bed. "I'm assuming things aren't going as planned with the research?"
"I really don't want to discuss this right now, Reg," he responded before taking a long swig from the open bottle. "Ugh. I swear, the more you drink this stuff, the more it burns."
Regulus pursed his lips. "The Dark Lord can only be patient for so long, Severus."
"I'm working on it, Reg," he snapped. "Does the Dark Lord want to be presented with a class five powerful substance? I don't think so. It will be completed when it's reached its desired effect. I won't deliver anything less to him. What are you telling him?"
"That you are the most brilliant potions maker of our age, and that you are most eager to serve the cause. He seems pleased with the notes so far. Even to the point that he will spare your life until you finish the project. He's waiting anxiously, but the more you make him wait, the angrier he'll become."
Severus stood up from his bed and began pacing. "I don't understand why you had to give him my name! I haven't had anytime to work on my own personal research, let alone look into post secondary schools. This is going to delay all my plans. Only because you were too eager to kiss the Dark Lord's feet and gain his favor."
Regulus glared at Snape. "You would have done the same thing, Snape. To gain favor with the Dark Lord is to gain power. Isn't that what you've always been striving for? We both know that you're all but officially inducted as a Death Eater. Why point your finger at me?"
Snape closed his eyes and ran a frustrated hand through his hair. "Of course that's what I want. Good and Evil? No. It's Weakness and Power. Which side does anyone prefer to be on?" He sat down next to Regulus once more. "I've met with Malfoy and Lestrange. This…project…is very dear to the Dark Lord. The men tell me if I am successful, it will serve as my official initiation to his Inner Circle.
Regulus snorted and took another drink. "Mine was easier. The Dark Lord is very interested in the history of the Black family. All he wanted was a few heirlooms of mine. Grant it, mother was very much displeased," he shivered at the thought of Mrs. Black's shrill screams when it was revealed to her some of her precious possessions were taken.
"Which heirloom?" Severus asked curiously.
Black shrugged his shoulders. "The Dark Lord told me never to speak of it. He tells all the rest of us to never speak of our initiation and how we gained his trust. All I figure is that he must be an avid collector of priceless treasures, or something."
Severus furrowed his brow. There was no way Voldemort was simply a collector of valuables. The Dark Lord was brilliant, and he always had an intricate plan for the future. These heirlooms he searched for and collected could only be a major part of what he was striving for. Severus just couldn't place what he wanted from it all.
Black closed the bottle and moved to stand up to deliver the goods to Rosier. Before he left the room, Snape followed after him and grabbed his forearm.
"Listen, don't tell anyone about this yet, but I wanted your opinion on something, or rather, someone."
Regulus looked intrigued. "Of course, mate."
Severus brought him back towards the end of the dormitory. "The new Gryffindor girl, Granger."
Black started laughing hysterically. "Seriously, Snape? That chit is friends with my brother. What does that say about her?"
He rolled his eyes. "That she has bad taste in companionship. No, I've got some interesting developments about her. She's not who she says she is."
Regulus's eyes were glittering. "Go on."
Even though Snape was doing this for her benefit, he couldn't contain his excitement at his discovery. "The girl is an escaped convict. She apparently attacked a ministry official with the Imperius Curse and stole a top secret case from the Ministry vaults. She's hiding out here for a few months."
"Oh, come off it, Severus. That's the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard."
"Trust me, Reg. I'm a Legilimens, and the girl wasn't lying. She's a conniving power-hungry witch."
Regulus rubbed his chin thoughtfully. "Bloody hell. If she could do that and get away with it, she's got a lot of potential."
Severus nodded. "My thoughts exactly."
"And you can testify that this is true."
"Positive."
Regulus nodded and smirked. "Very well. We can't risk losing an ally like that, can we? I'll tell Rosier, Macnair, and the rest and see what they think."
It was standard to have everyone in the group's approval before allowing a newcomer to interact with all of them in public. But Rosier and Black were best friends. If Black approved of Granger, it was almost certain Rosier would be anxious to find out what else Granger has done in the past.
He went up to his trunk and rummaged to find some clean parchment. He didn't know what possessed him to write to the girl, but updating her on the status of their situation would be warranted. If Rosier approved and then notified Macnair, for sure Granger would be asked to attend at least a meal with them. She had to know what she was facing.
Severus managed to send the letter with few disruptions from the other members of his house. The last thoughts that crossed his mind as he tied the letter to the owl and sent it flying off into the distance of the school grounds, was that he knew, someday, he was going to regret getting Granger involved in any of this.
Yes, Severus Snape was sullen.