Chapter 10

Rarely at a loss for words, Helen really didn't know how to respond to James.

"Close your mouth my dear – it is a very unbecoming look for you." James said gently as he retrieved his bag and grasped Helen's arm and began walking towards the residential wing.

"How did you know?" Helen asked allowing him to guide her.

"Oh I didn't know for certain, but you have been acting guarded for months now and I have sensed that you have been keeping something from me and I suspected that the 'baby box' would start to show signs of age and I knew what you would do when that happened." James explained as he opened the door to the room he always used when he stayed in Old City.

James deposited his suitcase on the chair and grasped Helen's arms and held them wide so he could get a good look at her. Helen was uncomfortable under James' scrutiny. The man had a mind like a steel trap and she knew she would not be able to get anything past him like she did with her staff.

"You're not sleeping and your blood pressure is up. On the bed with your feet up while I unpack and you can explain to me why I had to travel so far to find out about this rather amazing turn of events".

Helen knew better than to bother arguing with him and slipped her jacket and shoes off and climbed up onto the enormous four poster bed. "You already know why James – the stasis chamber was degrading and I had to make a choice." Helen said knowing it wasn't really the question he wanted answered.

"Ah so I was right. And now for the hard part – why, as your oldest friend, am I only finding out about it now?"

Helen sighed, she knew she had to be honest with James. "I didn't want to hurt you. With our history, babies are not something I felt comfortable talking about with you."

James placed the last of his clothes in the drawer and climbed up next to Helen on the bed and put his arm behind her so she could rest her head on his shoulder. "Helen, yes we have a difficult past, but that is as much my fault as yours. I treated you dreadfully and I know I let you shoulder the blame for what happened, but it was over forty years ago. I don't hold you responsible." James placed a gentle kiss on her forehead.

"Thank you." Helen said quietly. It didn't stop her for blaming herself for the loss of their child but it did ease some of the ache in her heart knowing James no longer held her responsible.

James placed his hand on the swell of Helen's stomach. Helen would have never allowed anybody else to take such liberties but this was James, her oldest friend and while not the father of the child certainly an integral part of its history.

"Are you happy?" James asked as he felt the child move slowly within her.

Knowing she had to be honest, Helen answered. "Yes, I suppose I am. I know I am excited to meet this little one, but I'm nervous and frankly terrified at times. I have a wonderful team but it isn't the same as having family".

"Would you like me to stay until after the baby arrives?" James asked.

Helen turned in his arm so she could see his face. "Would you?"

"Of course I will."

Three months later Helen was sitting up in bed in the infirmary, waiting for James to bring in her daughter. Helen smiled at the thought…. 'her daughter' – it sounded so wonderful.

She had woken up only hours ago in her room with searing pain in her abdomen, she had been feeling contractions for several days but nothing as intense as this. She lay on her side waiting for the pain to subside and glancing quickly at her watch. After three more contractions that were at regular intervals, each more intense than the last, she was certain she was in labour.

She walked across the hall and woke James to let him know the contractions had started, he had insisted on being part of everything, even though she knew it could be hours before anything actually happened. As she had woken James though she had felt liquid gushing between her legs and realised that perhaps things might happen a bit quicker than she had anticipated.

Just over an hour later, after what James described as 'a disgustingly quick and easy birth', she had held her daughter in her arms for the first time and fallen immediately in love.

Just as she was beginning to worry that there may be something wrong James walked into the room. In his arms was a tiny bundle wrapped in a white blanket. He handed the precious angel to her and once again Helen couldn't believe the rush of love she felt, as well as being amazed that this little person she was no holding in her arms was, until an hour ago, inside her.

"She is perfect Helen." Helen smiled, not taking her eyes of the baby in her arms.

"Thank you James, thank you so much for being here with me, for delivering her, for being my friend." Helen glanced up at him with unshed tears in her eyes. Just as James was about to respond the baby began to fuss. Instinctively Helen lifted her top and began to feed the baby. James turned away, wanting to give Helen some privacy.

Helen laughed as she saw James' reaction. "Oh Jimmy we were lovers for over fifty years, you have done far more with this breast than this child will ever do, I can't believe you are embarrassed."

"I was trying to be a gentleman". He said defensively but with the hint of a grin on his face. "So are you planning to name her or are we going to refer to her as 'the baby' for the rest of her life?"

"I was thinking of Ashley…Ashley Jamie Magnus." Helen looked up at James hoping he would understand the significance of her middle name. Judging by the smile on his face he did.