Chapter 10 - Application, Part 2

"May I ask a question off the record?"

The captain doing the interview pushed the padd aside and clasped her hands before her on the table.

Spock said, "My record, as you see it there, is that and my interviews and tests the sum total of what is used to determine my admission?"

"Yes, that is the sum of what is considered."

"I see. Thank you."

"May I ask why you are asking?"

"Still off the record?"

Her brows went up. "Sure," she said, less than convincing.

"If I may risk offense, I sense you are lying or perhaps reserving your options."

She pulled her shoulders back, sat crookedly with one elbow on the chair back in a pose James sometimes used. "I admit, I am."

Spock composed his next statement carefully. "I was hoping for advice as to how to proceed in future interviews today. I much prefer my question to be off the record, if you can see your way to assisting me."

She rocked back and the chair gave a metallic squeak. "Okay. Off the record. I won't put anything in my notes, but I reserve the right to not recommend you. Fair enough?"

"Yes, thank you. I censored my response to your question about working with humans. I a spent some time on a Starfleet vessel as a contractor, but I do not necessarily want that considered in my package since it raises other questions."

"Why not? And how did you manage that? It says here you are fifteen Vulcan years old."

"You do not recognize me. Which I do not expect will continue as my day progresses."

She tilted her head back, sat forward again. "No I didn't, but I can guess who you are. You must have been that Vulcan on the USS Ranger."

"I am hoping you can tell me whether, in total, that experience helps my application or whether the complication of my being with the Militants disqualifies me outright."

She pulled over the padd again. "I'll say this for you, you are really damn articulate. Most of the humans coming through here sound like they are reading their elementary school chat logs to me. You know Latin and Greek, too?" She sounded sarcastic.

Spock hesitated, but decided it was safe to reply. "Only the ancient languages, not the living languages."

"And you are slow by Vulcan standards?" She shook her head.

"Slow? As in debilitated?" Spock felt the sting of this. It was the first strong emotion he'd felt since departing James' dorm room that morning. "I am in a category of my own. I have skills I cannot bring to bear in a Vulcan environment."

"Creativity. You mentioned."

"Yes."

"Do you have an example?" She sounded like she doubted everything he was saying now.

"When I was assigned to repair the USS Ticonderoga's secondary coolant exchanger, it was necessary to reengineer a working unit from from the pieces remaining after an explosion in the adjoining compartment. This required a great deal of imagination, taking parts and repurposing them into pumps and pressure regulators and shunts, using only base principals of physics, by hypothesizing design options in my head and rapidly optimizing them."

"Did you succeed in getting it working?"

"Yes. It required most of a day with an assistant. I tried to speed up my work subsequently."

"Well then." She gave a wry smile. "Let me try and help you out." She glanced at the padd. "Spock. Even if your record is incomplete now, it won't stay that way. You need to put any security issues to rest, administratively. That means hours of interviews and psych scans down in the dungeons of possibly Federation Intelligence but definitely Starfleet Security."

Spock dropped his gaze and felt his shoulders bunching.

She grew firm and unforgiving. "Don't like that prospect? I'd recommend moving on now."

Spock swallowed hard. "I see."

"You regret joining the Militants, I assume?" She sounded patronizing. Spock wondered at her tone, which could shift so rapidly.

"No."

"No?" Mockery burst from that one word.

"I did it to reveal the Militants' location and to sabotage what I could. When the ships were at their base and planned to remain for a time, I leaked this information to my father, the ambassador, who informed the USS Ranger, who called in three other ships to attack."

She was staring again. "Well. If that's all true, then you should have no difficulty telling your story a few dozen times down in Starfleet Security."

Spock looked away again, his calm had grown slippery.

"If you have something else to hide, you are done. As in finished. Kaput."

"I do not have anything else to hide."

"What's the problem?"

Spock realized something important. His past pain from his childhood was gone, but his fresher pains were not. James had tried to warn him of this too. Applying to Starfleet, joining Starfleet, attending the Academy were all going to raise personal difficulties, sometimes without warning.

She tilted her head expectantly.

"I am somewhat leery of placing myself in such a vulnerable position. Would I be allowed to have a companion with me?"

"I can understand wanting one, I suppose. But you have rights and they will be respected."

Spock looked over her face, the faint wrinkles around her eyes. "Do you truly believe that, Captain? Or are you simply stating that because you wish to believe it?"

She sat back with another squeak. "You are a challenging candidate, you know that? Culture clash I suppose. Yes, I do believe it. You don't? And if you don't, why are you here?"

Spock stood straighter. "I believe in the ideals of this organization. But the stated values of an organization are not always adhered to by all of its members, at all times. And, more so than the average candidate, I am acutely aware of how vulnerable I am. If I cannot have a companion present during any security reviews, I believe your previous advice of giving up is the correct one to choose."

She took up the padd's pen and held it up horizontally, balanced between her index fingers. "You are that afraid? Space is a scary place too." This was delivered factually. Not coldly. Not mocking. Perhaps almost sadly.

Spock looked down at the desk. He didn't want to explain, but needed her fully informed to obtain meaningful advice. "I prefer to consider it proper caution. I was stunned and beaten by security, on the USS Ranger. "

She studied him this time, reviewed his eyebrows, hair, chin. "And you still want to join? Not planning on sabotaging us as well, are you?"

Spock stiffened with offense, and let a tinge of hurt out in his voice, since it was a social signal that he needed to make. "No. I have only ever acted to preserve the Federation. It is the only place where I have the possibility of making a home for myself."

"You are going to have to go through a full review with security and/or intelligence. No way around that. It will be long, annoyingly repetitive, invasive, and stressful. I doubt they will let you have representation with you. But I don't work for them, so you shouldn't leave now, by any means if that's a deal breaker for you. Finish up today and ask in your exit interview to make an appointment with the Academy's head office. Just say you need to discuss extenuating circumstances that are relevant to your application." She sounded sympathetic now. "All right?"

"Yes."

"Anything else?"

"No, that is all. Thank you for your assistance."

She propped her chin on her hand and leaned on it, smiling, which transformed her face from unpleasant to friendly and open. "I have a question for you. You must know James Kirk somewhat."

"Quite well, I believe."

"Excellent. So. He gets around, but he doesn't seem to have a type, really, that he prefers."

The world come into sharp relief around Spock. "Am I correct in perceiving that you are discussing his rumored sexual activity?"

"That's exactly it, my articulate friend. Is he really sleeping with all those women from the feeds?"

"No."

"No?" She laughed. "I think maybe you have a cultural gap at work here. He's out with a different one every week."

Spock thought better of his answer, which had been instinctive. "Perhaps I should have told you 'yes' since that answer would be more acceptable."

"I'd be pleased to hear that he is since I was thinking of looking him up. And you really aren't like other Vulcans if you are able to lie."

"I am not like other Vulcans." He felt enervated. Possessive. He felt different after being intimate with James these last few days. He felt eager for the first time in his life to step into a marriage challenge and put up a fight. Worse yet, he welcomed the idea at that moment and didn't care how uncharacteristic it was because it made him feel twice as alert as normal.

She stood up. Eyes bright with amusement. "I think I've made you angry."

Spock started to speak, but it was again from instinct and he stopped himself in time. He also did not like how perceptive she was able to be.

She put her knuckles on the desk and leaned forward, full of amusement. "You wanted to add something? Off the record?"

Spock centered himself over his blissfully healed core. The new possessive energy was churning around that core, making it even stronger. "James Kirk is not available."

"I thought he and Commander Graham looked like a good match. Even though there was a string of others after. Ah well." She smiled wryly.

Spock's entire body and soul demanded he speak. His upper arms vibrated with the effort of holding back. "James Kirk is mine."

She blinked several times. "Is he?" This caused her eyes to fill with even brighter amusement. "I guess the question is, does he feel that way?"

"Quite."

"I'll be damned. In that case, I have more advice for you. You need to register as such or he's in trouble if you get accepted."

"He intends to do so this week, before I could possibly receive a notice of acceptance or rejection."

"Then you are set. But you better get used to fending women off him. He comes across as highly available on top of highly appealing."

"The second one I am aware of."

She laughed. "You are lit up right now at the mere hint of a rival, so I believe you. Everyone is going to know as soon as the registration is filed. That will make the news feeds exciting for a few days. Better be prepared for that."

Spock looked away, wondering if James already understood that.

"I don't envy you that." She retook her seat. "Well, get out of here. I have to do my share of interviews, not just yours. But I do hope you are accepted. And good luck in the dungeon if that's deemed necessary. And be sure to tell Commander Kirk good job with the rebels for me."

Spock masked his relief at being dismissed. "Captain," Spock said with a curt nod.

She wore a sly smile until he closed the door. The next candidate, a female Andorian, was bouncing nervously from foot to foot in the corridor outside.

"Is she tough? I heard she's really tough."

"Yes, but I believe the right amount," Spock said.

"Oh, dratabat." The Andorian closed her eyes and put her hands together. The tension left her body and she let her arms fall.

Spock knew very little about Andorians and was interested to see this familiar technique. She reached for the door, took a deep breath, closed her eyes again.

Spock gently said, "Tell her what you would want to know in her place to make the same decision. Do not hold back. Do not concern yourself with anything else."

"Thank you." Her antenna bobbed.

Spock gave a small bow of his head in return. "And good luck."

The Andorian sent a glance of surprise over her shoulder, but the door swung open and she jumped nervously and hurried inside. Before the door could close, the captain caught Spock's eye. Spock sensed she'd been watching their exchange and that he'd passed another kind of test.

"You are later than expected," Kirk had boxes of food out on the table. He came over to the door and slid his hand around Spock's back for a tentative hug.

"It was suggested that I have the deleterious parts of my record fully explained before applications are processed. I went to the Academy head's office to inquire how to proceed. There is supposed to be a decision in the next three days as to whether I am required to be cleared by Starfleet Security or Federation Intelligence, or both."

Kirk had started to pull away, but his arms tightened instead. "I suppose you knew that was a possibility."

"I also was forced to fend off one of your potential suitors."

"Only one?" Kirk smiled with his full charm. "Anyone I know?"

"A Captain Chanel."

"Old Captain Captivate?" Kirk stepped back in surprise. "Really? She was legendary. Maybe still is. She taught at the Academy my third year and didn't even look at me twice the whole time. I never felt so invisible. And all the young bucks who thought twenty three was too old were suddenly swapping rumors about her and putting themselves in her purview."

"I do not find this amusing."

"You don't do jealousy well. I didn't notice that before."

"It was not true before." Spock looked over the food, hoping to move onto a different topic.

"Sorry, I'm not trying to tease you." Kirk appeared to try and suppress his obvious interest and failed at it. "I have to hear this conversation though. You can't leave it at that."

Spock took a seat at the table and began examining the food. "Does your ego require such a boost at this time?"

Kirk stepped around behind him and put his hands on his shoulders. "Spock. What's happening here? I need to talk to you about something important, but let's get past this first."

Spock put down the food box and dropped his arms into his lap. "I do not know. Or I suspect, but I need to assimilate it before discussing it."

Kirk bent and pressed his lips against his ear. Spock closed his eyes and let the sensation soak into him.

"You had something to discuss?" Spock said.

Kirk pulled away, the moisture he left behind chilled Spock's ear. Kirk's tone grew sober, "Yes. We may have a problem."

Kirk sat across from him and began eating as if he hadn't eaten in days. He paused eventually and said, "I tried to register us today, but Starfleet Academy lists you as a minor and below the age of consent." He finished a bite and looked up, locked gazes.

Spock said, "That is unexpected. Why are they allowing me to apply to the Academy?"

"The Academy accepts minors. With permission of the relevant adults in their lives, which you happen to have on file, remember?"

Kirk swallowed, held the box of food and chopsticks in hand. "So. Are you a minor?"

Spock had never considered this question. He had little autonomy as a feature of being born into the family of T'Pau and Sarek. In his experience, his age was never a limiting factor, only his family.

Kirk cut into his silence with, "Questions of physical maturity aside, which I think I already know the answer to, the other age that might be relevant is legal contract age. Are you allowed to enter into a contract on Vulcan at your age?"

"No. I must be 17 in Vulcan years. I will be that age in slightly more than one Vulcan year and a month."

Kirk tilted his head in a way that indicated distress. He swallowed hard, put the box down and dropped the chopsticks on the table. "You've put me in a very bad position." Kirk picked up the chopsticks with sharp movements. "Check that. I put myself in a bad position." He frowned deeply. "Sorry. It's not your fault and I'm an idiot for saying so."

"I am certain that I am in my majority and past the age of consent in earth terms."

Kirk smiled, but it was a painful smile. "You'd think that would matter, but it doesn't. The Academy and the Federation don't consider earth's rules applicable in many cases. In the case of hybrids, they seem to error on the side of the race that matures more slowly. Which, honestly, I agree with."

Kirk put the chopsticks down again, stood up, and began pacing.

Spock steepled his fingers in front of himself. "If I may, by apologizing just now and taking full blame, are you removing my responsibilities and rights?"

Kirk didn't turn around. "Yes."

Spock said, "I do not agree with that."

Kirk turned. He had that bright look of command about him, the one he got when the odds were turning against the ship. "It doesn't matter if you agree or not."

Spock stood and put his hands at his sides, facing a pallet of possible emotions. He blocked them all and found offense trying to battle its way forward. He said nothing.

Kirk said, "I'm in a very bad position given that I'm trying to insinuate into Command's social networks to figure out what's going on, to figure out who is a traitor. One slip to the press of what we are. . . " Kirk pointed back and forth between them. "And I could not only be out of the Fleet, I could be in legal trouble depending on the mood of the authorities."

"I did not realize that."

"I assume you didn't, or you would have said something. Hell, I'm the one who kept saying you were too young." He snorted and paced. "Here I felt like being with you made me smarter. I'm a fool many times over."

Spock had an idea, but did not want to give Kirk unnecessary hope. "In light of that, perhaps I should not remain the night."

Kirk looked down at the floor. "No. You probably shouldn't." He looked up, met Spock's gaze squarely. "And when you see me out with Graham later tonight, getting very cozy, please realize it's cover. I am more than willing to wait for you." Kirk turned away as he said this. Spock sensed it was to hide a loss of emotional control.

Spock stepped close behind Kirk where he stood in a random spot in the middle of the floor. Spock marveled that this man who could command scores of personnel and ships under threat of death could have such a weakness for him. It was not logical, but he did not wish to change it.

"James."

"You all right, Spock?" Kirk asked without turning back around.

"I am quite all right."

Kirk turned partly to him. "Until the issue with your age is settled, if it can be settled, we should limit contact. But if you do get called into interviews with Intel or Security, please let me know. I do want to be there for you before and after."

"During is not a possibility?"

Kirk smiled painfully, met his gaze for a moment with his own deeply affectionate one. "No, my friend. I'm certain it's not."

"I see." Spock had determined to quit if that was the case, but now he believed that unacceptably weak. He could survive hundreds of hours of interviews if necessary. "I will message you," Spock said. "Please continue to be careful and please log who you are going to meet through the secure relay I gave you."

"I will. Thanks Spock."

Spock nodded formally, hesitated thinking there should be something more, but didn't know what, and finally departed.