oooOOO Farewell OOOooo
She thought about what had happened during the previous day. During a short, but blissful and happy moment, he had showed her his true feelings for her. It had been just a short moment, when he had not pushed her away, but had welcomed her and her emotions completely and without any hesitation...
But then, he had suddenly pushed his own feelings aside again. He had rejected them - and her. He had finally - once and for all - rejected her...
She laughed bitterly at the big irony of it all. The man that so fearlessly had stood on quarterdeck during the battle, the man who had met a twice as large enemy ship without any hesitation... That same man - when faced with his feelings for her - had run away from her like a coward...
She had waited for him to come to her and ask for her forgiveness for leaving her so abruptly. And she had waited for an explanation to why he had run away from her like that. She had waited for him to come back to her...
But he never came.
She didn't see him again, until the Pasadenian had reached Plymouth, when it was finally time for her to leave the ship.
oooOOOooo
She stood on deck, clad in a dress for the first time since she was brought on board the ship three weeks earlier. It made her feel slightly uncomfortable. She had liked the practicality and comfort of the male clothes she had been wearing.
She had already said farewell to Raj with a warm hug. He had blushed deeply and smiled at her with teary eyes. He had always been so sweet and kind to her and she was going to miss him. If only he had been able to talk to her!
The officers and the surgeon stood in a line and said goodbye in turns. They all kissed the back of her right hand in farewell, and they all looked very sad. Doctor Hofstadter thanked her once again for her help during the battle. She held Lieutenant Wheatons hand in both of hers, to express her gratitude. "Thank you for all your support. I am very grateful..."
He just nodded and smiled sadly at her. He understood from the pain in her eyes that the captain had acted just as foolishly as he had feared he would. Oh, how you will regret this, Cooper! I cannot believe, that such an intelligent man as you, can be so utterly stupid as to turn your back on her!
He had to control himself from not shaking his head in disbelief at the tall man beside him. He reached out his left hand and gave her a small note. "This is my address in Portsmouth. Please visit us, if you ever come there! Even if I'm on duty at sea when you come, I'm sure that Grace will be very happy to meet you. I will tell her everything about you, when I return home tomorrow." She smiled a weak smile in gratitude. "Thank you, and I promise that I will visit you as soon as I get the opportunity to. It would be wonderful to meet your wife, Lieutenant Wheaton!"
ooOoo
She tried to swallow the big lump in her throat when she finally turned to the stiff and grim looking Commander Cooper. Oh, God! How will I be able to do this without falling apart? Dear God, please help me! Please give me the strength I so badly need, to be able to say goodbye to him!
She couldn't look into his eyes. She knew that if she did, she would never be able to turn away from them. Instead, she held her gaze on one of the top buttons of his vest and started to talk with a trembling voice. "Thank you..., for saving me, ...Captain! I will always be grateful to... you... and your crew. Thank you, ...for... for everything!"
She stretched her trembling hand towards him and he grabbed it by the fingertips, and she winced at the touch. He didn't kiss it, but only bowed stiffly to her. "You're welcome, Miss Queen!" he said with an indifferent voice.
He squeezed her fingers briefly, before he suddenly dropped her hand as if it had burned him. He rapidly turned around and walked away down the stairs to his cabin. She looked after him in shock, and felt burning tears in her eyes. Once more, he had abandoned her...
She closed her eyes and tried to hold herself together. You can't break down now, Penny! You must leave this ship, now! You must get away from here! After some deep breaths, she turned around and walked to the rail like a sleepwalker.
She climbed down the ladder to the small boat that would take her to the quay of Plymouth. She sat down with her face turned away from the ship. She would not be able to handle the sight of the Pasadenian becoming smaller and smaller. That would without a doubt break her down completely.
With the help of some unknown strength within her, she still managed to hold her emotions at bay. She felt numb and cold, and the same thoughts kept repeating in her head, over and over: Will I ever see the Pasadenian again? Will I ever see him again?
oooOOOooo
About one hour later, she finally stepped through the door to her home. The butler went after her aunt Elaine, who where soon coming from the salon. She looked shocked. "Penny? Is it really you? But... you were not supposed to be back until November! My dear girl, what have happened?" She stopped in front of Penny and looked at her niece in astonishment. "My darling Penny! It really is you!" She pulled the young woman into a warm embrace.
It was not until then, that Penny at last allowed herself to give in to all the strong emotions that she had been holding back, and finally, she broke apart.
oooOOOooo
Meanwhile, HMS Pasadenian weighd anchor and continued with her sails set towards her home port, the Royal Navy base in Portsmouth. First Lieutenant Wheaton had ordered the departure, since the captain had remained in his cabin.
The tall, dark haired man sat at the table with his face buried in the crook of his arm. His shoulders were shaking. For the very first time in his adult life, Commander Sheldon Cooper was crying…