Mathias

"And you can't change the past." I groaned inwardly at my own words. The cheesy-ness of them, as well as the fact that I said them. I was gonna make her remember more than we planned on, and I was going to ruin everything. I walked outside, and didn't stop walking until I reached the stone wall of our backyard.

"Mathias," she called. "What do you mean?" I closed my eyes and lay down behind a bush, knowing she'd never find where I was.

"Ingrid," I smile at her, rushing across the room to embrace her. It had been weeks since we'd seen each other, and in those weeks I had asked both Berwald and Lukas, as well as the other men on the raid, how to tell her how much I cared about her, how much I loved her. And as soon as everyone saw how serious I was, the ones who had wives or women to call their own were thrilled to tell me how they got them to be that way. I pick her up, spinning us both around in circles, our laughter mingling in the cold air.

"Mathias," she giggles, "what's this all about?" She smiles at me, then looks towards the open door, to Berwald and a few other men that are helping carry Lukas.

"Forget something?" Berwald's voice is harsh as the oncoming winter's wind, cutting through me. I had completely forgotten about Lukas's condition, and instead leapt off the ship before it even docked and ran straight home. To Ingrid.

"Oh Luka," she says, rushing to clear off the table near the fire. "Set him here, take off his, oh thank you," she runs around everyone, gathering water, cloths, the usual when she had to fix us. Which we all knew she hated doing. But she had seen us worse, and Lukas was probably sleeping off his deep cuts. I sat down in a chair, watching as she put a knife into the fire, handle out. I stopped watching her ministrations long ago, and as I look away I know she was sponging away dirt and dried blood, that she was going to seal his wounds with that blade, and in about five minutes Lukas was going to be screaming in pain.

"Lukas is going to be fine," she said suddenly, placing a hand on my shoulder. "Is there anything wrong with you? Any cuts? Let me see, Mathias, please?" I look up at her face, sighing, taking off my shirt. She runs her hands over every ripple of muscle, every scar, every piece of dirt and ink, and decides to let me go this time. "What was all of that holding and touching about?"

I try to figure out what to say to her. Do I just do it now? Not let her be as happy as she was before? Or do I wait? Do it now, a voice says. I grab her arm so she stops looking at Lukas on the table, and pull her into my lap. "M-Mathias..." she breathes, eyes wide, and leans into me, comfortable with this place.

"Jeg elsker dig," I whisper.

A fat raindrop lands on my face, and thunder rolls in the distance. "MATHIAS!" She calls again, closer now than she was a few hours ago. It feels like a few hours ago. I stand and wave to her, her flashlight falling to the ground and her figure visibly relaxing. I walk over to her, laughing at her face. "You scared the shit out of me, Mat."

"You think you can say that to me?"

She shifts awkwardly. "Let's go inside before we catch cold. I don't want my first days back with you guys spent being sick."

"You found him!" Tino says happily from the kitchen. "Dinner's almost ready, we're in the dining room, Mathias." I walk in to said room, earning glares from Lukas and Berwald.

"You know it's safer if she doesn't know." Berwald immediately stated.

"I know, it just slipped, it won't happen again." I was never the sort for apologies with these two.

"What are we talking about?" Emil asked, walking in with Peter.

"The house idiot might have ruined having Ingrid back," Lukas said, standing up. Probably to come try to strangle me. I wouldn't blame him if he did.

"Oh! You mean how if she remembers more than we tell her had happened you all have to go back to Norway and go back to your real time-"

"That's enough, Peter." Berwald rarely raised his voice to any of us, and it probably would have made him cry had Emily and Tino not walked in with plates heaped with food.

"What'd he do this time?" She asked, ruffling the mentioned's hair, sitting down next to me, across from Lukas, smiling at him as she did so.

"Nothing," the four of us said, looking everywhere but her.

"Let's eat!" Tino said nervously.

"I had another dream, before I went out looking for Mathias again," Emily said, trying to keep conversation with everyone. But almost everyone stiffened upon hearing this. "It was about Emil," she rushed. He dropped his fork, and I relaxed.

"I never knew Emil when he was small," Tino said. "Tell me about your dream."

I laughed, trying to remember as much as possible. It probably wasn't hard. The dreams she had so far were probably etched into her memory. All of them, unfortunately. "It was winter time, and he had bothered me and Lukas to go out and let him play in the snow like the other children were allowed to do." Emily noticed herself talking in an accent, but brushed it off and continued. "I kept saying no, that he'd get sick, but somehow he had convinced me, so Lukas, Mathias, and I went outside with him. He must have been three, he was so small, and it must have been the middle of winter, because it had-"

Lukas laughed. "Been snowing heavily the night before, so it was up past our ankles when we were in the middle of the field by our village," he smiled brightly at all of us. "And as soon as Ingrid put him down, he tried to run off, but tripped and fell-"

"Face first into the snow, and started crying about how much he hated snow and wanted to go home!" I finished, roaring with laughter. "I had almost forgotten about that." Emil flushed bright red next to Lukas, who just patted him on the back for comfort.

"I'm glad you're dreaming of happy memories too," Lukas told her, his eyes sparkling with life I hadn't seen in a long time.

"Me... too..." she murmured, blushing softly and bringing her fork to her mouth so she wouldn't be expected to talk again.