Urgh, why does she have to ruin everything? Why can't she just leave him alone? Why does she do this to him? Why can't he get her out of his head? Why does she have to be so lovely, kind and all around adorable? And why can't he just admit it? He loves her. No, he LOVES her! All these months away did nothing but make him want her more than he could ever bear. The denial masquerading the fear. How could he act so cruel towards someone that wanted nothing but make him happy. He needs her. And he will tell her right now. He pulls the car to the curb and turns to her. "Sue, I..."
"Axl, don't ever talk to me again. You hear me? Never again!" she yells before opening the car door and speeding away. It takes him a short while to actually acknowledge what is going on.
Axl gets out of his car and observes as she clumsily runs the erratic path. It is funny to see how she tries to get away from him, a prized athlete used to run the field and court like a demon. He gives her some time ahead and then reaches behind tackling her to the ground, neatly, like the pro he is.
It has started to snow and the street is now darkish and empty. Good, because the scene that follows is just pathetic. Sue is struggling to escape his strong embrace. "Let go with me, now!" she cries out. He doesn't, causing her to cry louder and tussle desperately. She can fight, for a girl like her, that is. All those years as a Wrestlerette must have taught her a thing or two...Axl finally manages to stop the show she's putting on throwing all his weight over her, she lies still but not yet defeated. Steam comes out with her infuriated breaths. "Sue, listen to me, my butt is freezing, can we just go back to the car and...can we just go back to the car?"
He helps her stand up and holds her close to make sure she won't run again. Sue walks limply as in a trance, he holds her closer, she doesn't even bother to hold him back. It starts to snow heavily.
The car seems smaller than it really is when she's not babbling away. They sit there in silence as he makes up dialogues in his head, processing a million thoughts per second. What if he says he's not her brother anymore, it worked once, she was so eager to have him back...Not anymore. Her coldness is murdering him. "Sue, say something, say you hate me, say...say you're not my sister...I don't care, whatever, just...talk to me. I'm begging you." He feels like a complete idiot now.
"East Indiana was just a choice I had, a dumb one, I can see. I have two more options though. I'll end up in Cali, you may not know, but I kinda dreamed of living there someday..." her voice is dull and not even close to the cheerful, happy girl he knows. And has learned to love. "No! You're not going anywhere else, you're going to East Indiana. With me. You're...fuck it, Sue! Stop making me sound like an asshat..."
She stares at him. That look is enough to make him freeze. He does not like this person in his car. It hurts, a kind of pain he vowed to never feel again, being rejected. "Do you even...I cried for you, Axl. I—I spent nights crying myself to sleep. I spent my days feigning a happiness I wasn't feeling. I had this...this stupid hope, this dumb feeling inside, I thought, one day he will call, he will give me a good excuse to why he's ignoring me, I will believe him, everything will be okay. He will come back and I will tell him about college, he will be so proud, so happy...You were leading me on! I can' t believe myself, all this time, wasted, for...for you. I'm not your sister, anymore. We're strangers, from now on. Take me to Carly's, I'm sleeping there tonight."
He's still too shocked to utter a word, a sound. His brain is not functioning. Not properly. He is somewhat relieved when he feels it down his face, the warmth is familiar, the burn is even welcome, a featherlight tickle is sensed. He is crying.
The truth comes out faster than predicted, he can't hold it, "I was so scared...I freaked out, Sue. I never thought this would happen again, after Cassidy...I was so helplessly in love with you. I needed to go away, to stay away from you, I was...you drove me crazy!"
She looks back at him, inquisitively. "You accusing me of ..." He swallows a sob, "I'm accusing you of being so damn perfect I couldn't resist, I ran because...I love you. I love you Sue Sue Heck. I hecking love you!" he concludes louder than expected. She answers with a suspicious look, "So, what you're trying to say is...you love me but don't want me near. Why am I not surprised?"
Now this is heartbreaking. He just poured his heart, something he never does, in front of the last person he'd do it to, and his counting their Mom in, and this is how she reacts? Oy vey.
"I know, right? It was a bad idea, from the start. Do you think we even stand a chance against the world? We don't! Mom and Dad would kill us if they knew...I just suppressed my feelings and left. Loving you from a distance is easier...now that you know..." She's still not looking at him. He wipes the tears from his face, sniffles and turns around. Axl slowly holds the seat belt, "Can you guide me to Carly's house?" There is no answer. He faces her, the tears streaming down mercilessly. She is crying too, it only makes him hurt more. "I am sorry..." she takes his hand in hers, "I...lets go home. Aunt Edie made me call Mom before I left, she called her Pat." Sue snickers, "We have some eggnog waiting for us, It's a Wonderful Life is on TV tonight, can we just go home...Please?"
The kiss that follows tells them a lot of what they feel and think. There is love, of course, but also hope. Hope that things will settle in place, that he doesn't have to run from her because she's there for him, and will always be. He is safe, he is loved, he is complete. Awesomeness never felt so good.
Soooooooooooo this is it. Thanks to everyone reading, reviewing, following and favoriting. As always, very much appreciated. And I hecking mean it!