To Be or To Pretend to Be.

Final Chapter

A/N: The chapter is based on my favorite song One More Time, One More Chance by Masayoshi Yamazaki. Its a very slow soothing sad song, but it has the emotions I wanted this chapter to have.

So if you are reading and listening music to this chapter you should listen to One More Time, One More Chance... on repeat lol:)

Pardon for errors

In a dark, cold, lonely room. A man weeped, weeped for his shattered heart. He wanted to scream, but all he could do is drown in his sadness

kore ijyou nani wo ushinaeba kokoro wa yurusareru no (What must i lose to be forgiven?)

dore hodo no itaminaraba mou ichido kimi ni aeru (How much pain must i endure if i want to meet you?)

After the winter snow vanished, the Cherry blossoms were in full bloom.

Karin sat on an old wooden bench under a great cherry tree. Reading book as petals fell unto the spring floor.

It was her first month in a distant town but she loved it already. It was quiet, peaceful and in the county side. But most importantly it was a perfect place to raise her expecting child.

She was entering in the middle of her fourth month of pregnacy and she felt this was the town her baby would grow up in. She grew fond of the life growing in her and that love made Karin bloom from a girl to a woman. Although she was fairly young she knew there would be a lot of hardships by keeping the child but she would never get rid of her child. From the moment she knew she was pregnant, her child was her center of her universe.

And as she looked at the cherry blossoms blooming she knew her child would like them as much as she does. But she soon felt a tear fall down her cheek.

In random instances as she thought, Kazune would appear in the back of her mind. All the things he did, all the joys and pains he gave her, how his eyes looked at her and only her, all the smiles he showed at her, would all flash in Karin's mind, paining her weak heart. And little things here and there often made Karin think about Kazune as well. But what hurt her the most was that she was carrying his child, a reason why she would never be able to forget him. He would always be in her mind, after all he did. The experiences and memories they had would never leave her mind.

And as she looked at the cherry blossoms she wondered if he would like them too.

"Karin!" A voice said from afar.

"Coming." She said as she closed her book, stood up and started walking to the distance figure with a smile.

Leaving Kazune's memory behind.

One more chance kioku ni ashi wo torarete (One more chance tripped by memories)

One more chance tsugi no basho wo erabenai (One more chance we cannot choose our next place)

For a while, Work and house were the only things Kazune's life revolved around. He tried to forget her. But soon his life had become a empty stage were all he thought about was what Karin did and where Karin was. His mind was plagued with Karin. He did not think anything else. Not since that last time he saw her when they parted. He did not chase her, he did not look for her.

But he had become a living corpse. Every smile was forced, every laugh was planned. His face always had sadden frown. He would constantly wake up calling for Karin's name, looking for her figure when no one was there. He would have illusions where he saw Karin from afar but she quickly vanished. He needed her. But he knew she didn't need him.

Soon he fell in a deeper hole. He quit his job, he couldn't deal with it anymore. He resorted back to alcoholism and nicotine to help his broken heart. He would take constant walks just to find a piece of her, a memory, a smile, anything that made him remember her more vividly. He started to look for her everywhere, even though he knew she wouldn't be there. He felt and knew a piece of him was missing.

He knew it was the sane part of him that Karin took.

itsudemo sagashiteiruyo dokka ni kimi no sugata wo (I'm always searching everywhere for your figure)

mukai no HOOMU rojiura no mado (Our meeting platform, the back alley window)

konna toko ni iru hazu mo nai noni (Even though i know you won't be there)

Micchi tried to help Kazune. He looked for Karin endlessly but she vanished like thin air. And he never located her. He gave up on her from the moment he saw her but he knew Kazune didn't.

Micchi saw how his friend slowly was killing himself by smoking and drinking daily and as much as he tried to get him to stop he couldn't. No one could. And Micchi felt horrible he couldn't do anything for him. And he felt even worse that because of his selfishness and jealously Kazune was the way he was. But everyday he would still go to his house and try to put some sense into him although it gave no hope.

A person couldn't be helped if they didn't want to.

"Jin! Help!" Karin screamed at her friend. She had met him ever since she came into the town. He was the one who help her settle and meet the other locals. And soon he became her precious friend. Every evening they had dinner together, and played or watched tv. Every weekend they would go to the park that Karin loved very much. Karin never thought she would ever make friends with a man again, but Jin proved her wrong. And she was very grateful for him. And more in moments like now.

"Karin? Whats wrong!" He said as he ran into the kitchen room and saw Karin clenching the kichen counter with pain.

"My water broke."

"I have a feeling about today." Kazune said as Micchi and him dined at a restaurant.

"What do mean?"

"I don't know, but something is happening today." He said as looked out of the window "I don't if it is good or bad but something important is happening and I don't know what it is."

"Kazune that is nonsense, and here I thought you were actually getting better."

"I will never get better, not when Karin isn't here."

"Could you stop looking out the window Karin isn't there." Micchi said and as soon as he said that Kazune turned to see him.

"You never experienced the love that I did. You give them your all and they leave you with noting, their selfishness to their pride distances them from you. So all you feel is an empty space, a part of life is missing."

"But you got to let go Kazune. Its been more than half a year. You can't base your life on memories, if she wanted you back she would have already come back."

"No she wouldn't because she is stubborn like that. I'll find her one day." He said as he stood up and walk out of the place. Maybe today was the day he found Karin again.

One more time kisetsu yo utsurowanaide (One more time, season please don't change)

One more time fuzakeatta jikan yo (One more time, to the time when we were having fun)

"Karin, Push" The doctor advised as the baby was coming out.

"Ahh!" She pushed as she tighten her grip on Jin's hand. She had been in labor for six hours and the contractions got just more painful by the hour, and the hospital was a 4 hour drive. But the baby was about to be born. And that's all that mattered for Karin. She just wanted a healthy baby born.

"Harder!"

"Where do you want to go sir?" The taxi said as Kazune got into the car.

"Any distant bar." he said eyes fixed on the window, searching.

As Karin gave her finally push the room became silent, and soon the room was filled with the cries of the new born.

"Its a boy!" the doctor said as he gave the baby to the nurse so she could clean it up. "Congratulations!"

Karin smiled and looked at Jin "It's a boy, my baby is a boy." Her happiness was just overwhelming and in that moment she even started to cry tears of joy. She finally had her baby.

"Here," The nurse said as she gave the baby to Karin, cleaned and wrapped around a blue blanket, already sleeping.

Karin looked at her baby in arms amazed and pulled him closer "You look just like your father, Suzune." She said as she whispered to her baby, with tears falling from her face. She then kissed his forehead and said "And I am sure he very much loves you just like I do."

kiseki ga moshimo okoru nara ima sugu kimi ni misetai (If there is a miracle, i want to show you it right now)

atarashii asa kore kara no boku (The new morning, the new me)

ienakatta "suki" to iu kotoba mo (Even the word "love" that i couldn't say to you)

Micchi's phone rang from a strange number. He looked at the number confused but he still answered it.

"Hello?" He said

"Hello are you by any chance Nishikiori Michiru." A fairly young woman said.

"Yes why?" He said getting a strange feeling about the call.

"Your friend, Kujyou Kazune has been hurt in a accident sir."

"What?" Micchi said shocked. "What did that happen? How is he?"

"We have stabilized him but the impact was fairly strong, he got lucky he got out there alive."

"Where is he?"

"We are located 4 hours from Kujyou's registered address"

"Can I see my baby now?" Karin asked Jin as he sat in the chair.

"You asked me that 6 mins ago I am pretty sure they are still doing his check up." He said and soon laughed as he saw Karin pout. "Hey, Karin listen." He then said in a serious tone. Karin looked at him with her undivided attention. "I have only known you for about 5 months but, I want to father your child.." He said as Karin's face went to shocked.

"Jin you don't have too-"

"He needs a father Karin, just like he needs a mother. I will treat him like my own child, I will love both of you guys unconditionally." He then walked to Karin's bed side, stood up on one one knee and soon took out a ring out his pocket. "I was planing to do this earlier but, who knew you would have Suzune" He told with a foolishly grinned as Karin was still very surprised.

"I don't know what to say, you been so kind to me but I-"

"Karin, I love you, I protect you better than no one else, I know this is a big step, for the both of us. But I promise a life of no harm for you and Suzune."

"Jin this is a big step, I can't marry you. Though I know you will be a fine father." She said and soon saw Jin's sad expression. "I want to take things slow.." She continued "Let's date first." She smiled as well as Jin did.

Karin was moving on with her life. And in the instant Kazune was no where near her mind.

sabishisa magirasu dake nara dare demo ii hazu na noni (If only to divert sadness, anyone will do)

"I am looking for Kujyou." Micchi said as soon as he walked in the front desk. He rushed to the hospital he couldn't believe Kazune made it this far from the city.

"The baby or the-"

"The man." Micchi quickly said. "He was in a-"

"Car crash. I know he is in room, 347, gladly he is stabilized but he still hasn't woken up, so we still don't know if there has been internal damages with his brian. But we believe he should have no complications."

"Okay thank you. Micchi said and soon rushed to the room. Passing the maternal rooms.

"Kazune..." He whispered as Kazune's saw his forehead bandaged. It seemed he had taken the biggest hit in the head.

Micchi sat in the bedside chair to see when he would wake up. And he waited but Kazune soon did.

"Kazune!" Micchi quickly said as Kazune opened his eyes.

"Where am I?" Kazune said as he tried to sit up.

"At the hospital you were in a car crash, I had to drive 4 hours to get here. I was so worried." He said. Kazune grinned.

"Sorry I am stupid." He said. "I always have to get in a mess so I can get my common sense back." He said. Kazune was different. He wasn't the same depressed guy. Micchi thought he woke up back to the happy person. "Sorry, but I had a dream..." Kazune said weakly smiling. "It was with Karin, she looked happy, in some different city, walking to meet a different person, not me. I am not in her life anymore." He sadly said "Its been 9 months. But it made me realize if she is moving on, I should too..." Kazune smiled "But I'll always still look for her."

"I am glad you are starting to realize it Kazune."

"Yeah I am.." He said smiling but shedding his last tears for Karin.

negai ga moshimo kanau nara imasugu kimi no moto e (If my wish is granted, i will be by your side)

dekinai koto wa mou nani mo na (i there's nothing i can't do)

subete kakete dakishimete miseru yo (i will risk everything to embrace you)

Micchi walked down the hall as Kazune was getting his final check up, for today they would leave. But something caught Micchi's eye, and it was the babies that could be see through a window. He smiled as he saw 20 babies or so. But one babies name caught his eye. Kujyou Suzune He saw the name card say, but what was more amazing was the resemblance the baby had to Kazune, although he was sleeping he had Kazune's face.

"Cute babies, huh?" Jin said as he stood next to Micchi, while they looked at the same baby unknowingly.

"Yeah they are." Micchi said contemplating a possibility.

"I am the father of one." Jin said proudly, No matter what, Jin had decided that he would be Suzune's father if anyone asked, Suzune was his child, even if he bore the last name of his real father.

"Really, congrats." Micchi then said finally turning to see Jin. "Which one is yours?" He asked.

"The one with the name Suzune, Suzune Kujyou." He proudly stated. But it wasn't enough to break Micchi interest on the baby because Jin looked nothing like it.

"Micchi!" Kazune said across the hallway. Kazune changed into his clothes and walk toward Micchi. "I guess I can go home now." He looked at Micchi but then switched his gaze to Jin, who looked at him like he had seen a ghost. "Hi I am Kujyou, Kazune. He introduced himself."

"Jin." Jin simply said.

"Well we will get going," Micchi said politely, yet his instinct was telling him to ask for the mother's name. "Nice meeting you. Jin." He said as he and Kazune started to walk toward the front desk to check out.

And as they left Kazune left behind, the woman he once loved, and the baby he yet has met.

"Hey Karin.." Jin said as he saw Karin carry her baby in her arms. "Does the real father of the baby know that you gave birth?" Jin asked in hopes to find the name of the father. If the guy he met earlier could be the father of Karin's child.

"Kazune doesn't know anything, although any one that knows him can see how alike they look, I don't want him to know yet, although one day I am sure we will meet again since I have our child... But for now, I just want Suzune for myself." She said as she kissed her baby's forehead. And Jin looked sadden, that guy was the father. But he would never tell her about their encounter.

Some things are better unsaid than said.

"I will be a better father than his real one." Jin said and Karin smiled at him weakly

"I hope you are." She said but still she knew no one could replace him.

And as Karin looked at her baby.

And Jin made a vow to her.

And as Micchi and Kazune were in a car driving back to the city.

Life was moving on.

I always end up searching everywhere for your smile (itsudemo sagashiteshimau dokka ni kimi no egao wo)

At the express train railroad crossing (kyuukou machi no fumikiri atari)

Even though i know you won't be there (konna toko ni iru hazu mo nai noni)

If i could repeat my life, i would be by your side forever (inochi ga kurikaesu naraba nandomo kimi no moto e

I there is nothing else i want (hoshii mono nado mou nani mo nai)

Besides you, my important person (kimi no hoka ni taisetsu na mono nado)

Well Folks That Indeed was the end. It sad, and it leaves me with an empty feeling but that was how I wanted to end it. How I made Karin, I think it would be impossible for her to just take back Kazune so easily. They both need to grow up and toward the end they really start to realized the can't always have. They have to adapt to the choices they made.

But this ending is also good because it ends the story but it gives me the possibility to maybe write a sequel in the future.

If you have any questions comments and concerns, and if they can be answered I will answered them :D

Please Review and Thank you :)