Authors note: Sorry again for the long wait guys, slowly but surly the story is coming together and thank you so much for the the support and lovely reviews, they make me smile. I hope you enjoy this next instalment!

Long Enough to Realise

I was standing outside the restaurant feeling like a complete idiot. I always overestimated timings and ended up showing up early like this, waiting around like a fool. Why couldn't I be the one running around late for once? Showing up just exactly when all the excitement beings instead of spending at least 15 minutes pacing and checking my watch.

Speaking of checking my watch, they were officially 5 minutes late…and that would not be too bad if I hadn't shown up so early to wait in the cold. I knew I could probably sit and wait inside the restaurant for them but I felt the only thing worse than standing alone outside was sitting alone in a crowded room.

I really do hope they would show up soon, my back was aching, my ankles had swollen up a bit in the last few days and for some reason I kept getting really light headed recently when ever I was standing for a long time. God I've become so pathetic. Some days living with a chronic illness is just another part of a daily routine, no more of a hassle than putting on underwear or brushing your teeth, but some days it was hard. Today was a hard day. Which was unfortunate since I was meeting Rose's new boyfriend and wanted to be as intimidating as possible. I'd manage to talk her into rescheduling this meeting by quite a few days for that very reason. I didn't want him to think Rose has some weak, sick little brother who couldn't beat him up if he hurt her. My history with my sister wasn't always the most loving, but she was my sister, no matter how sick I was if she needed someone beat up I would be there…though she could probably do a better job herself.

10 minutes later I was scrolling through facebook when they finally heard a familiar voice call my name. "Jasper!" she called. "I'm so sorry we're late the traffic up was a nightmare! Anyway, Jasper this is my boyfriend Emmett and Emmett this is my little brother Jasper. I'm so glad you two are finally meeting!"

"Yeah its nice to finally meet you," Emmett said, holding out a hand which I shook briefly and returned the greeting. Emmett was a very physical specimen. And by that I mean he was huge. I don't know if he had intentionally bought all his clothes two sizes too small or if they just didn't make clothes big enough to hold his muscles. It was going to be hard to be intimidating when I looked like a scarecrow next to a hulking ox…but I would try.

"Okay, lead the way Emmett, you booked the table." Rose smiled. When Emmett walked onward she held back a bit and leaned in closer to me. "Are you sure you're up for this today?" she said softly.

"Yeah of course! Why wouldn't I be?" I shot back.

"You're pale as a ghost and your hands are shaking Jas."

"Well that's probably because I had to wait in the cold for half an hour," I smirked in return. I was meaning it as a joke but I immediately regretted it as her face intently twisted into guilt. It vanished, however, when she saw me smiling.

"Well you could have just waited inside you idiot," she snapped at me.

"This way," the waiter said gesturing for us to follow. I was a nice restaurant, I'd never been before, though that wasn't saying much since I'd lived in Seattle about 5 minutes and I didn't really have much free time or opportunity to check out the fine dinning scene.

"So Rose tells me you're an architect?" Emmett asked. "That's pretty cool!"

"Yeah I really love my job, I'm only technically still a trainee but I have my own case load so I guess I still get to call myself an architect." I smiled. So far so good, I thought. I don't know why I was so nervous about saying the wrong thing; he should be the one trying to impress me, not the other way around.

"Sounds way more impressive than me anyway, acquisition project leader, most people just nod cause they have no idea what that means! Though neither do I so I guess I'm glad they don't ask!" he laughed.

"And what would you say if they did ask," I chuckled.

"Ah well, I guess I do a bit of this and a bit of that! Kind of just talk to people and get stuff organised I guess. I always wanted to play pro football but to be honest I'm pretty happy with the gig I've got going on now."

"Oh really?" I asked "Did you play ball in collage."

"Oh you bet I did, I love it! Buggered up my knee though so now it's the side-line's for me, I coach a local youth team and I love doing that, they're really good kids. Did you ever play?"

It was an innocent enough question, a natural one to ask given the current conversation. But I could see Rosalie tense up like she was nervous how I would react since her boyfriend kind of put his foot in it. I was always too sick in collage for sports, she knew it was a bit of a sore spot for me. Well it used to be anyway.

"Na, I wish I could have, I used to play in high school and I was pretty good!" I said simply.

"Aw man I'm sorry I forgot…I didn't mean.." Emmett stumbled sheepishly.

"Don't worry about it man, its fine! You win some you lose some and I guess I just saved myself a few beatings anyway." I laughed. Rosalie visibly relaxed when I seemed so calm about it, she didn't know me as well as she thought.

Our conversation continued easily through lunch. Emmett was a nice guy and, although physically intimidating, was really easy to chat too. The dull throbbing pain in my back, flank pain as the doc would call it, hadn't gone away. I kept shifting uncomfortably in me seat to alleviate it but of course that didn't work. I eventually excused myself to the bathroom in an attempt to walk it off, which also wouldn't work.

I often got a dull aching in my back, it was nothing to call 911 about but sometimes it got really bad. It used to happen every few months but it had been getting more and more frequent and now it was usually about once a week. This was a particularly inconvenient time. I was starting to feel nauseous but it was probably just from the pain and wasn't anything more sinister.

I paced around for a few minutes hoping the pain would ease off; I was going to have to go back out there soon and just grin and bare it. It was times like this it would have been great to be able to just pop a few painkillers and be on my way, unfortunately when your drug filtering organ didn't work you had to be more carful.

"Sorry guys there was a bit of a line," I lied as I sat back down at the table. I couldn't tell Rosie about things like this. She thought every little thing was a 911 emergency, hadn't been around me like this long enough to realise that this was just part of my life.

"Hey its getting kind of late, time kind of ran away from us. Jas do you want me and Emmett to give you a rid to the hospital?" Rosalie asked. I glanced down at my watch, it was quarter to 6…crap I have dialysis in 15 min.

"Don't worry about it, I'll walk I could use the exercise." I said as I stood from the table and started to put on my jacket.

"No way man," Emmett interjected. "You cant make that walk in 15 minutes I'll drive you, besides, my little sis works at Virginia Mason and I should probably say 'hey' while I'm in town."

I couldn't really refuse so I muttered a thank you and followed them out the restaurant.

"I feel like its meet the siblings day," Rosalie laughed as we pulled out the parking lot.

"Aw you'll love my sis Rose, she's a lot of fun. I guess you gotta meet Edward too but he's such a stick in the mud and his wife's expecting so he's extra tightly strung at the moment! Ali's great though. Actually I better give her a call and see if she's actually working.." Emmett started to fumble with his Bluetooth headset and phoned his sister. As he did it Rose turned round and spoke as softly as she could.

"Do you like him?" She mouthed. I nodded, smiled and make and okay sign with my fingers. "Are you sure you're alright?" She said a bit louder.

"Well if I'm not we're about to drive into the perfect place to be, and I'll be strapped in for four or five hours so I can't even escape." I said with a wink.

She rolled her eyes at me and turned back round to Emmett who had hung up the phone. "She's at some wedding apparently so I guess you'll get to meet her some other time."

"Aw that's a shame," Rosalie said rather half-heartedly. "Oh look we're here already, that was quick."

"I'll just hop out here if that's alright," I said.

"yeah of course man," Emmett smiled. "Hey, it was great to meet you, see you again soon I hope!"

"Yeah definitely and same to you. See you later Rose," I said as I closed the truck door behind me. It was a nice afternoon; he was a nice guy. I look up at the hospital briefly before walking forward. I could feel the usual sinking feeling in my stomach, like reality kicking in, but this time I couldn't help but feel a little excited. I know it's wrong to feel like this, it isn't fair of me, but I just couldn't help it no matter how I tried to squash my feelings down. It was nice seeing Emmett and Rosalie, so together and in love, it was written all over their faces when they looked at each other. But it was also hard to watch, maybe it was jealousy…or maybe it was their gross PDA, who knows.

"Jasper you're late, tut tut," Tanya said as I entered the ward. She was a lovely nurse and her and I got on very well. "Come on lets get you set up. So what was the hold up today?"

"I was meeting my sisters new boyfriend for the first time."

"Oh he must be some man to be able to handle Rosalie, she's a bit of a firecracker if you don't mind me saying."

"Not at all," I laughed. "She is a bit hard to deal with sometimes but he seems like a really nice guy, and she seems really happy."

"Well that's the most important thing, isn't it? I'm afraid Alice isn't working today so Dr Hoffman will come see you in a minute." I couldn't help but feel my heart sink and my smile falter, though I tried hard to control it.

I talked to Dr Hoffman when he arrived, told him about the back pain and the nausea and he gave me something to help. Just an unfortunate symptom of my progressing condition, he said. He didn't have quite the same manner of my usually doctor.

I passed the next four hours more easily than I thought I would have given that I hadn't brought any of my normal time passing activity like a book or newspaper or work. To be honest I mostly scrolled through various social networking sites on my phone until the battery eventfully gave out, by which point I was pretty much done.

Tanya came over to unhook me, "Another session over, you go home and get some sleep now, you look like you need it."

"Oh come on now I can't look that bad!" I joked. Tanya fixed a small Band-Aid on my arm. "I pretty much just had a three hour nap."

I pulled my shirtsleeve down and stood, though maybe I did it a little too quickly. I barley registered my head was spinning before I felt my knees buckle and the floor started rushing toward me. I head something crash; Tanya called for help, everything a blur. I must have briefly lost consciousness and then I was vaguely award of being moved somehow.

"Just rest," a voice said. "Dialysis…hypo…pain meds…quiet…" The world was still spinning and I could only make out a few words but the room was quiet and I tried to stay conscious enough to sort my head out. I don't know how much later it was when the room finally became still and I was aware of Tanya still sitting by my bedside.

"I think I'm all good now," I said sheepishly, embarrassed by the seen I must have caused. I tried to sit up and Tanya initially started to get me to lie back down but quickly realised it was a loosing battle and helped me sit up on the edge of the bed.

"Well you don't seem like you're going to keel over again," She winked. "Stay here as long as you like, and I mean that, don't leave this room until you're fit to get yourself home."

"Thank you Tanya," I called after her as walked out the room. I sat for a while to make sure my head was screwed on straight and I was just about to leave when the door swung open.

I stood and looked over at the vision that stood before my eyes. She was wearing a floor length, pale blue, silk, delicate cocktail dress. "Bit over dressed for a night shift don't you think," I said. My voice caught in my throat as I struggled with how god damn beautiful she looked.

"You need to stop collapsing," Alice said quickly, almost panicked.

Before my brain could catch up with my body I had taken a step forward, my hand was on her back pulling her toward me and my lips were on hers. Our lips moved together flawlessly, like they had been moulded to fit. She wrapped her arms around my neck and pulled me closer to her, our bodies pressed together until there was no space left. Our lips moved harder and faster, my heart was pounding to escape my chest and her finger curled around my hair.

Suddenly she pulled away, "How long?" she asked in a whisper. "How long have you felt…like this?"

"Long enough to realise that it's not going to go away," I didn't know if that was the right or wrong answer, but it was the truth. For a horrible, long second I was terrified she was going to tell me I'd got it all wrong and there was nothing between us.

Finally her lips parted and she said, "No, I don't think it is." And she leaded in once more to press her lips against mine before she pulled away and left the room.