Chapter 10: Long Awaited Update
Oh my God... We've finally updated...
We have returned! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA—
(Interrupts Andrea's laugh) Anyway, here's the long awaited chapter! Oh, and by the way, I have discovered a bold numbering system works better than in context notes. Please see our stupid comments at the end of the chapter from now on. :-)
Sora and friends crash-landed in Traverse Town, causing an earthquake that shook the whole world. Once everyone checked to make sure there were no injuries, Donald throttled Sora for destroying the Gummi Ship. It would take them days—no, weeks—to fix that stupid ship.
"Or," Andrea suggested, "we could just use the kick ass one Ryo made because she was bored during the time it took to update this fic." She reached into one of her many pockets and pulled out a giant ship with the biggest engines ever created on the back.
"It goes at hyper-speed," Ryo explained. "Oh, and it's also environmentally friendly, which is important in this day and age. Best of all, it runs on fruit, and there's plenty of that in Andrea's pockets!" They didn't know where the fruit came from. It actually came from The World That Never Was, which they wouldn't know of, since it isn't in the first Kingdom Hearts game.
Anyway, they left the docking area you never get to see and went into the First District. Sora looked around and frowned. "Hey, where's Leon?"
"Gawrsh, maybe he's training in a dark and damp waterway that'd be terrible for your health," said Goofy.
Donald rolled his eyes and shook his head. "Goofy, that's got to be the stupidest thing that's ever come out of your mouth. And a lot of things have come out of there."
"It's not as stupid a thing as you might think," said a scary voice behind them.
The group spun to face a creepy teen in a black cloak.1 "W-what do you mean?" Sora asked, backing away from the teenager. His mother had told him never to talk to strangers with cat puppets, after all.
"The person you seek, Leon, is in the waterways below the city. I could tell you where they—" Sora and friends were already leaving. "Wait! Don't you want to know where Leon is?"
"You already said the waterway under the city," Ryo pointed out. "What else is there to know?"
The cloaked teen had an anime sweat drop, but he couldn't disagree with their logic. And so the group was on their way once more.
After twenty minutes of fighting the stupid Heartless that dared appear before the group of overpowered fighters, they eventually found the waterway where Leon hung out, but the entrance was blocked with bars. Stupid bars...
"Well, now what?" Donald asked.
Ryo reached into Andrea's pocket and retrieved a stick of dynamite and a box of matches. She lit the dynamite, set it by the bars carefully so the wick wouldn't get wet, and jumped into Andrea's pocket, as did Andrea herself.
The rest of the group wasn't quite so quick. The dynamite exploded, shattering the bars and many of Sora's bones. Donald and Goofy, being cartoon characters, were completely unharmed. Andrea and Ryo, having heard the explosion, got out of the pocket and saw Sora the giant soot ball.
"Not funny!" Sora shouted when they burst into fits of uncontrollable. "You better be able to fix this!"
Donald sighed and used Cure, which somehow fixed Sora's broken bones. Fully healed, everyone went into the waterway.
"Ew, this is gross," Sora said, swimming through the muck in the water.
"Well, if you'd thought about it ahead of time, you could've asked us for help," Ryo said, floating with Andrea above the swimming Sora, Donald, and Goofy. They were wearing sandals with wings that flapped to keep them airborne. "We have extra pairs of flying shoes you could've used."
Andrea raised an eyebrow at her friend. "Are you kidding? His feet are way too big."
Sora, Donald, and Goofy all sighed in frustration, and the search for Leon continued. At least the waterway was pretty straightforward. They reached a bunch of rocks where Leon stood, swinging his Gunblade.
As they approached, Leon turned to them and frowned. "Sora, when was the last time you took a bath?" he asked, wrinkling his nose. "Four weeks ago?"
"Yes, but that's not important right now!" Sora interrupted. "We found something really weird in some other world, and it looked just like a Keyhole!"
Leon seemed a little surprised by this and turned to Aerith. He turned back to them and said, "So you found the Keyhole..."
"That's what he just said, you big palooka!" Donald shouted. Andrea elbowed him hard in the stomach.
"Yeah," Sora replied, ignoring Donald as he always did. "The Keyblade locked it automatically."
Aerith breathed a sigh of relief. "Good."
The duck stared at her, noticing Aerith for the first time. He pretty much ignored the conversation from then on, as there was a female with boobs present.
"Ever world among the stars has a Keyhole. And each one leads to the heart of that world," Leon explained. He crossed his arms and frowned as he always did when thinking. "There must be one in this town as well."
"What do you mean?" Sora asked, confused.
"It was in Ansem's report," Aerith said, shoving Donald away as the drooling duck got too close.
"No, I mean, what do you mean?" Sora asked. "That made absolutely no sense."
Both Andrea and Ryo smacked him in the back of the head. They then dragged him to a corner and gave him a brief remedial lesson on all the English classes he missed in school by daydreaming about Kairi. That finished, they returned to hear the rest of the Gunblade Specialist's explanation.
"The Heartless enter through the Keyhole and do something to the world's core," Leon explained patiently. He, unlike the others, was used to stupid people after spending so much time with Yuffie.2
"What happens to the world?" Sora asked, then ducked to avoid injury if the question turned out to be a stupid one.
It wasn't, so he wasn't punished. Aerith answered after sidestepping Donald so the dumb duck fell into the answer water again. "In the end, it disappears."
Everyone, even the spluttering Donald, cried, "WHAT?!"
Leon crossed his arms once more. "That's why your key is so important."
"Please lock the Keyholes," Aerith almost begged. "You're the only one who can!"
Ryo stared at Aerith a moment, then asked Andrea, "Didn't someone say that in Star Wars?"
"I think so, Brain," Andrea replied with a nod.
Once again, everyone ignored their strange side conversation. "I don't know..." Sora muttered.
"Seeing other worlds would probably serve you well," Leon reminded him.
"Yeah!" Donald called. "You can go and I'll stay with here with the boobalicious babe." He earned a bonk on the head with Aerith's ultimate weapon from Final Fantasy Seven for that comment.
"We gotta find your friends! And King Mickey!" Goofy, by now, was used to Donald's stupidity and very good at tuning it out. That, or he didn't have enough of a brain to pay attention to it.
"I guess you're right..." Sora said. "Okay!" He turned to go.
"Um, stupid head, did all that hair gel get to your brain?" Ryo asked. "Did you forget about the reason we came here?"
Sora stared blankly at Ryo.
"The Gummi block?"
Again, Sora just stared.
"That came out of the Keyhole?"
Still, Sora stared.
Andrea pulled a giant hammer from her pocket and played Whack-A-Sora until his ADHD was banished for the moment.
After about twenty whacks, realization dawned on Sora. "Oh yeah! Hey, Leon. This Gummi block's different from the others. Do you know what it's for?"
Leon scrutinized it, and then set to pondering the possibilities.
Aerith, seeing that Leon would be too stubborn to say he had no clue, suggested, "Ask Cid. He should know. He's an expert with Gummi ships."
Sora nodded. "Okay. Thanks." They were about to leave, but they were stopped once more. "CAN'T YOU PEOPLE LET US MOVE ON WITH OUR JOURNEY?!"
"Take this with you," Leon said, handing Sora something.
The Keybearer looked at the giant rock in his hand. "What the hell is this?"
"It's a Fire Stone," Leon explained.
"Ooo! Does it give me the spell Firaga?"
Leon gave Sora a strange look. "No. You evolve certain Pokémon with it."
The two stared at each other a moment, and then Sora said, "You know you've got the wrong game, right?"
"Just take it anyway!"
Sora handed it to Andrea for safe keeping (or possibly shooting out the cannons later), and they headed to the Accessory Shop to find Cid. As always, they had to fight impossible amounts of Heartless, and eventually Andrea got so annoyed she just pulled a couple invisibility cloaks from one of her pockets so they could just continue on their way.
Cid looked up from his copy of Housekeeper's Monthly when the bell over the door rang, signaling a customer. He quickly hid the book when he saw it was Sora and friends. "What d'you need?" he asked gruffly.
Sora held his hand out to Andrea, who retrieved the Gummi block from one of her many pockets.
"What've you got there?" Cid leaned over the counter to get a better look. "Hey! Well, if it ain't a Gummi block."
"Yup," Donald said with a nod.
Goofy, feeling forgotten and left out, asked, "What's this one for?"
Cid slapped his forehead. "You're kiddin' me! You're flyin' a Gummi ship and you don't know nothin' about navigation Gummis?" He sighed and slid his hand down his face in frustration. "Bunch of pinheads," he grumbled, then shouted at the group, "Interspace ain't no playground!"
Ryo rushed up to Cid and took both his hands. "Thank you!" she sobbed. "You're so right! Andrea and I am traveling with a bunch of pinheads!"
Andrea grabbed the back of Ryo's shirt and dragged her away from fellow Gummi ship fanatic.
Sora stomped his feet just like an angry five-year-old. "There's a lot we don't know. So what? We have to use the Gummi ship to go to other worlds. We don't have a choice." He was starting to get really sick of everyone ragging on him all the time.
"Whoa, easy," Cid said, worried about his floor. The way Sora was stomping, there'd soon be giant shoe-shaped canyons in the tile. "I didn't know. No hard feelings, all right?" Now Sora was pouting his adorable pout, so Cid had to do something to calm the brat down. "Well, I guess I could lend y'all a hand, then."
Sora smiled at last. "Thanks."
Cid explained briefly in simple terms what navigation Gummis were and what they did. Ryo, however, already knew all this, and said, "Um, I already have a bunch of navigation Gummis on my ship. I really don't think we need this one." An urchin grin spread across her face. "I'll sell it to you, though."
Cid grinned back. "How much?"
And so the bargaining began. Both were shrewd businesspeople, however, and their negotiating lasted four hours straight. When at last they finished, Ryo was walking away with a full bag of Munny.
"Look, now that you've hosed me," Cid said, "mind doing me a favor?"
"We don't do favors!" Donald snapped.
"I just need you to deliver something," Cid said, frowning.
"What do you need to deliver?" butted in Sora. He was a goody-two-shoes and always willing to help.
"Just this book," Cid replied, pulling an old tome from behind the counter. "It's real old. When the guy brought it in, it was practically falling—"
"Yeah, yeah, we get it," Donald said, tapping his foot impatiently. "Where do we need to go with the damn thing?"
"The old house past the third district," the man replied. "Look for a big fire sign." He handed the book over to Sora, who then handed it to Andrea for safekeeping.
Just as Andrea was about to pocket it, though, there was a violent shaking.
"W-what was that?" Sora cried. "Did another Gummi ship crash?"
Cid looked out the window and frowned. "The bell at the gizmo shop is ringing... Go check it out if you want, but deliver that book for me... first..." He sighed. They were already gone.
The group would've gone to check the ringing bell first, but they got lost and ended up in the Third District anyway. As they were already there, they decided to go and deliver the stupid book.
"Aw man! The guy gave Cid a bum address!" Ryo cried as they entered a seemingly empty and abandoned house. "Well, Square Enix always puts treasure in this sort of place, so spread out and search!"
As everyone raided the place, Sora heard something. He turned toward the sound and saw none other than Kairi. He gaped at her as she wandered through the house.
"There's something about this musty place," she said dreamily. "It reminds me of the secret place back home, where we used to scribble on the walls." She knelt down and drew on the wall with a sharpie she'd pulled out of seemingly nowhere. Smiling, she turned to Sora. "Remember?"
Sora rubbed his eyes. "Kairi?"
"Sora?" Goofy said right behind him, making the Keybearer jump. "Why'd you draw a pony on the wall?"
Sora stared at where Kairi once stood. All that remained of her was a pony drawn in black sharpie.
"Well, well... You've arrived sooner than I—"
"Gotta check out a bell!" Donald said, impatiently shoving past the wizard, Merlin. "No time for old ugly fogies like you."
"See you, Merlin! Books on the table!" Andrea and Ryo called as they followed Donald and the others.
1 The creepy cloaked dude, if you can't tell with the puppet reference, is Nekozawa from Ouran High School Host Club
2 Wow, poor Yuffie. Eh, this is just a character bashing party. Yeah, true.
Well, there's our long awaited chapter! Hope you all enjoyed it!
Happy we updated!