Chapter X: Beneath the Floorboard
The day after her lady's first magic lesson, Gwen took Morgana on a ride in the woods. They didn't stray far from the castle walls, but even so, their isolation let them speak in private.
"Are you certain you're all right with this?" the maid asked her mistress.
Morgana hesitated for a long moment, her gaze distant. "I think so. At the very least, I'm handling it better than I'd expected." She frowned, tilting her head. "Are you?"
"I'm worried, that's all," Gwen confessed, "and that's more the treason bit than the magic."
"It's not like I have a choice," Morgana reminded her. "Witches are born, not made."
"I know that," Gwen sighed. "I don't think I'll stop worrying about you until magic is legal again."
Because Arthur would legalize magic, she knew that now. He had grown so much in the last year or so, and there was no doubt in Gwen's mind that he would be one of the greatest kings that Camelot had ever known—and she wasn't being biased about that because she had stupidly gone and fallen in love with him. If anything, she had stupidly gone and fallen in love with him because he had the sort of personality that would also make him a great king.
Not that that made her emotions less foolish.
Forcing aside her maudlin thoughts, Gwen continued, "Because I truly do believe that it will be, Morgana. It's just that I don't know when."
"I don't either," Morgana sighed. "I wish I did."
"So do I."
"What about you?" Morgana asked suddenly. "I've sort of dragged you into this, Gwen."
"I seem to recall forcing my way into the summit," her friend reminded her.
"And I seem to recall dragging you into my dreams."
Gwen looked away. "Not really. When you told me that you were afraid your dreams were magical…. I had already noticed that they had an uncanny knack of coming true. I don't know when I first saw it, but I didn't say anything because I wanted to be wrong, because we'd both be so much safer if they weren't."
"But it still frightens you," her friend sighed.
"The law frightens me, not the magic. Not you." A teasing smile. "Not when you can't even properly unlock anything."
Morgana smiled back. "You know, one day I'll probably be able to turn you into a toad."
"When we're old and gray, perhaps."
Morgana opened her mouth, no doubt preparing a sarcastic retort, when the sound of another set of hoofbeats cut her off. The lady and her servant turned, wondering who else was taking a ride outside the city walls.
Oh, no.
Morgause was dressed in men's clothing, her hair tied back in a thick braid. She was riding towards and looking directly at them.
Why couldn't it have been bandits?
Gwen hesitated. Should they run? They should probably run. After all, Morgause wanted to take control of every royal heir on the island, so she wasn't exactly the scrupulous sort of spellbinder. They really should run, Gwen decided, but Morgana already had that stubborn look on her face as she wheeled her mare around to face the incoming priestess.
"Morgause."
Brown eyes widened in surprise. "You know me?" she asked.
"We were at the summit," Morgana replied, steel in her voice.
In the privacy of her mind, Gwen cursed her friend's recklessness. Why would she give that away?
At least Morgause wasn't attacking or casting any mind-control spells (not that Gwen knew what mind-control spells looked like, but she was quite certain that they would involve incantations. She'd been at Morgana's magic lesson too, after all) or anything like that. Instead, she was goggling at Morgana. "You were there?"
"Yes," Morgana confirmed. "Emrys invited me."
Gwen was starting to think that her friend wanted to get them killed, or mind-controlled, or whatever Morgause was planning.
"I had no idea," Morgause confessed, plainly taken aback. She frowned, considered, gave a little nod of conviction. "If you were at the summit, then you know part of who I am."
"You're the last High Priestess of the Old Religion," Morgana replied. "You want to enchant one of my dearest friends, a man who might as well be my brother, to make him do your bidding."
"I want to guarantee the safety of my people," Morgause retorted. "Our people, Morgana. Our mother's people."
Morgana went white. "What?"
"Vivienne was my mother too," Morgause said, very quietly. "We're sisters, Morgana."
"I—you're lying." The color returned to Morgana's face as her cheeks reddened with rage.
"I am not," Morgause replied, "and I think you know it, sister."
"Don't call me that."
"Why should I not call you what you are?"
"Because I don't have any siblings." Morgana wheeled her horse around, began to make her way back to the gates. Gwen followed. So did the other woman.
"I am a bastard," Morgause said softly.
Morgana whirled around, face furious. "And now you're accusing my mother of cheating on my father?"
"No," said Morgause, "I'm older than you. She took a lover before her wedding, as many priestesses do, and I was born from their union."
"How convenient for you," Morgana sneered.
"It was not," Morgause replied. "I was separated from her at birth, given to the High Priestesses of the Old Religion, with no proof of my heritage except this bracelet." She reached into her saddlebag, withdrawing a silvery circlet. "I am told that it is one of a set."
Morgana glanced over, her face full of disdain, undoubtedly preparing a rude comeback. Then she saw the bracelet. Her eyes went wide.
Gwen shifted in her saddle for a better look. The pattern was a familiar one, all curves and whorls and knots. Morgana had one just like it, one she had inherited from her mother, one that was part of a set.
"You're lying," the lady repeated, but there was doubt in her voice.
"Why would I lie to you?"
(They looked rather similar, Gwen realized. Dread curdled in the pit of her belly. They looked like they could be sisters.)
"Because… because you want a way to access the castle. You want to use me to hurt Arthur. I won't."
"I want to know my sister," Morgause corrected her. "I want to teach her about magic and, yes, I want to free our people as well."
"By using me."
"And go against our lord's direct orders?" Morgause shook her head. "I am no fool, sister. I am perfectly aware that Emrys is watching his prince. I'd have to make my way past him to enchant Arthur, and—"
"And that's why you want to use me," Morgana interrupted, grabbing hold of the theory like a drowning woman would reach for the shore. "Because he trusts me around Arthur."
Brown eyes widened. "You know who he truly is."
They were almost at the gates by now. Morgana dug in her heels, spurring her mount into a trot. Gwen and Morgause followed suit.
The maid was frowning. Who Emrys really was…. What was that supposed to mean? Was she saying that Emrys wasn't Emrys?
Oh. Gwen flushed slightly at the obviousness. Of course Emrys wasn't prancing around using his real name and his real face, blatantly performing magic and practically daring Uther to hunt him down. Which meant that she didn't really know what he looked like, which meant that he could be anyone.
Anyone.
Except Morgause thought that Morgana knew who he was, which would certainly explain why the lady was so comfortable around him, why she trusted a stranger so much. But that meant that Emrys was someone that they both knew, for Gwen was at least familiar with practically everyone Morgana had ever met. So who did she know who sympathized with magic and thought Arthur would be the greatest king of all?
The answer was obvious, immediate, and so surprising that Gwen nearly fell off her horse.
They were at the gates now. Morgana rode inside, her companions right behind her. Apparently Morgause wasn't discouraged by the fact that she was now a spellbinder in Camelot, surrounded by guards made paranoid by Cornelius Sigan and the king's rage (not to mention the dragon) and completely without backup. She was powerful, then, strong enough to not fear Uther's laws.
Gwen bit her lip. If Morgause wanted to do something, then she wouldn't be able to stop her. Yet she didn't want to leave, to get the person who could stop her, because that would mean abandoning Morgana. Except it wasn't really abandonment if it was going for help, and surely Morgause wouldn't enchant Morgana in broad daylight in the middle of the city. But if Gwen didn't think the spellbinder would try anything, there was no point in running for help, which would mean abandoning her dearest friend…. And she could probably go on forever with arguments and counterarguments, but she really ought to make up her mind before Morgause remembered she existed. The spellbinder was focused on the lady now, but that could change at any moment.
Swallowing hard, praying that this was the right decision, Gwen headed for the castle.
Even on horseback, the journey felt like it took forever. Had there always been so many people gallivanting through the streets and getting in her way? Were they actively trying to delay her?
Finally, finally, she reached the castle. She dismounted without even bothering to unsaddle her poor horse, only to be blocked by a stable boy on her way out. "Listen, you—"
"You listen," Gwen interrupted, urgency making her snappish. "I am on an urgent errand and might need to ride out again. If I have not returned within an hour, then you may unsaddle and tend to my horse. Now move."
The stable boy, clearly taken aback, obliged.
Gwen jogged across the courtyard, through the halls, all the way to the little door in the physician's chambers. She tried to open it, only to discover that it was locked. "Merlin!" Gwen called, rapping on the wood.
Moments later, the door opened, revealing her confused-looking friend. "What's wrong?"
"Morgause is in Camelot."
Gwen had harbored a few doubts about his identity. Merlin's reaction dispelled them instantly. Blue eyes widened to enormous proportions as he jerked back. "What?"
"Morgause is in Camelot," Gwen repeated. "Please, Merlin, don't pretend you don't know what that means. I know. I puzzled it out."
A million emotions flitted across his face, too quickly for Gwen to identify. Then his gaze hardened as he gave a sharp nod. "Where is she?" he asked, marching back into his room.
"She should be by the western gate," Gwen answered, following him in. He hadn't denied it. He really was…. And he'd practically told her, too, back when they first met. I'm in disguise.
The door clicked shut behind them. Gwen started, but she had to keep talking. "And Morgana is with her."
"What?" Merlin froze.
"We were riding in the forest—not too deep, of course, because there are bandits out there—but we were riding and she just showed up and started following us, so Morgana and I went inside the city because that might have made her leave, but she didn't leave, so I went to find you because she probably won't enchant Morgana in broad daylight, right?"
"Probably not," Merlin muttered, lifting up a floorboard and pulling out a deep blue cloak. By the gods, was that really where he hid his Emrys things? A floorboard? Really? "Morgana doesn't think she's been enchanted, at least."
"How do you know that?" Gwen asked. "Also, are you really going to pick a fight with her in the middle of Camelot?"
"If I must," Merlin said darkly, hands tightening around a jewel-tipped staff. "And I know because I asked her."
Gwen just stared at him.
"With my mind," the warlock muttered, looking a little embarrassed. "I can speak with… you know, others, in my mind."
"Ah."
"…I'm going to her. Ah, them."
"With that magical whirlwind thing."
"Well, yes."
Gwen nodded. "I see."
Merlin muttered something under his breath, and suddenly Gwen was looking at a young man with blond-brown hair and a heart-shaped face, dressed in green and gray. Another few words and he was gone.
Gwen sat down, hard, her mind racing. He really was Emrys. She was right. Not just one but two of her dearest friends were magical.
I'm in disguise, he had told her, and she had laughed it off. Yet it was true. Was 'Merlin' even his real name?
The thought hurt. The revelation hurt, even though she understood perfectly well why Merlin, or Emrys, or whoever he was hadn't told her the truth. All right, perhaps not perfectly well, as Merlin knew that she knew about Morgana and Mordred and had obviously trusted her with them, but this was the sort of secret that got people killed, and it made sense that he would keep quiet about it.
Well, there was no use lazing about fretting. Swallowing hard, Gwen forced her thoughts away from Merlin and magic and towards the current situation. What could she do to help?
Gwen wasn't a warrior or a spellbinder or a commander of men, but that didn't mean she was useless. She just had to be creative about it, that was all.
The first thing that came to mind was an observation that Merlin hadn't put his loose floorboard back into place. He'd even gone and left his cloak out. That wouldn't do.
As she slid Merlin's things back into place, Gwen felt her mood lift ever so slightly. It was a little thing, yes, but it let her look out for him. It was also proof that the person she knew, the friend she had in Merlin, wasn't entirely fake, because he was exactly the sort of person who would rely on a single loose floorboard (probably not even enchanted for privacy) to protect his highly treasonous, potentially life-threatening secret. Even if he apparently spent his spare time directing an international conspiracy of powerful spellbinders because he was basically magical royalty, he was still, at least in this way, the Merlin she had come to know.
Merlin was magical royalty. Merlin. Merlin was magical royalty. That was even more bizarre than him being magical, which at least explained his history of sympathizing with spellbinders and his ability to survive very odd situations that really ought to have killed him. The magical bit made sense; the royal bit, not so much.
She would really have to ask him about that, when he got back and she had time to ask all the questions bouncing around in her head.
Gwen stepped out of Merlin's room, closing the door behind her. What now?
She ought to find Gaius. Hopefully Merlin and Morgause wouldn't get into a fight, but if they did, he (and Morgana, who would be caught in the crossfire) would likely need medical attention. So she really should go find the court physician.
As she made her way through the castle, Gwen let her mind wander, trying to reconcile what she knew with what she had just learned. Merlin was Emrys was Merlin. Her friend had magic—not just magic but powerful magic—and status, and he was leading a multi-kingdom conspiracy to overturn all of Uther Pendragon's work, and he had somehow managed to empty the treasure vault and release a dragon while doing Arthur's laundry and running errands for Gaius. Where did he find time? Did warlocks need less sleep than non-magical people? Because that was the only explanation she could think of.
Though now that she was looking at it, she could see the… not quite similarities, but continuities. The friendship with Morgana, the trust in Arthur's future. She could see Merlin in Emrys: his discomfort at being treated as a lord, his creativity and determination, the sheer disregard for the rules he needed to basically start a rebellion against the king. And she could see bits of Emrys in Merlin, too: his defense of Mordred, his ability to survive anything, the quiet wisdom he sometimes conveyed. Honestly, Gwen was starting to feel a bit stupid for not noticing any of this earlier even though she knew that, rationally, she'd had no reason to think that Merlin and Emrys were connected until earlier today.
"Do you know where Gaius is?" Gwen asked a passing guard.
"I think he's in a council meeting," the fellow replied.
"Thank you."
Merlin had magic. The thought seemed a little less foreign now, a bit less strange, but Gwen was self-aware enough to realize that it would take quite a bit of getting used to. It wasn't like with Morgana, when she and her lady had gradually come to realize the role magic played in her life. Merlin was a full-fledged member of the magical community, a respected leader, a lord (that was a thought which was not becoming any less foreign).
As Gwen arrived at the door to the council chambers, she imagined Arthur's reaction to his manservant's status as magical royalty. The thought made her burst into giggles. The two guards standing by the door gave her odd looks.
As quickly as they had come, the giggles faded away. Arthur. Did Arthur know? Somehow, Gwen doubted it.
That… that had the potential to become very ugly, if anything went wrong.
Gwen frowned at the thought. Arthur would understand, wouldn't he? He probably would eventually, she decided, but first he'd be extremely upset that Merlin was basically using their connection to further his own agenda, especially if he found out in less than ideal circumstances, which really….
Oh.
How was she supposed to act around Arthur, knowing what she knew?
It had been easier with Morgana. She'd known about her lady's magic before growing closer to Arthur, and though she'd felt guilty, she'd accepted the situation, gotten used to it. Would she even be able to keep quiet about Merlin's true nature?
For the first time, Gwen found herself grateful that Uther had locked his son up in the dungeons with no release date in sight. She'd been visiting Arthur, of course (and Leon and Geoffrey), but this way she at least knew where he was and didn't have to worry about him encountering her in the halls.
Maybe she could convince Merlin to tell him before he—no, wait, then Leon and Geoffrey would hear too. Maybe Merlin could tell him shortly after his release, whenever that may be, except it wasn't fair to ask him to do this to make her life easier.
Except….
Arthur would learn the truth eventually, Gwen realized. Merlin would slip up or Arthur would see something or Cornelius Sigan would strip the illusion from "Emrys" in front of half of Camelot. Wouldn't it be better for Merlin—and Morgana, for that matter—to tell him of their own volition, on their own terms?
Then the council chamber's doors opened, and Gwen forced her thoughts away. She could consider whether it was right to encourage Merlin and Morgana to confess later, once she knew they were all right.
"Are you going anywhere, Gaius?"
"…I wasn't planning on it," the physician replied, looking mildly suspicious. At least he wasn't raising his eyebrow yet. "Is something wrong, Gwen?"
"Merlin's being Merlin," she replied, not knowing what else to say. She didn't even know if Gaius knew about his ward's conspiratorial activities. While he probably did, she didn't want to risk finding out the hard way that he didn't. To keep him from asking questions, she asked a question of her own. "What was the meeting about?"
Gaius grimaced. "Uther has decided that Arthur is to escort Morgana to Tintagel."
"To Tintagel, or simply out of Camelot?"
"Out of Camelot, though he's not going to admit it. What exactly was Merlin doing?"
"I'm not certain exactly," Gwen mumbled, dropping her gaze. "It just didn't seem particularly, you know, safe."
Gaius sighed. "You would think that with Arthur out of commission he'd have more trouble finding trouble. Just tell me everything you know, Gwen."
"…I think he might be getting into a fight." It was the truth, technically, she told herself.
The physician sighed. "I'll get out the bruise balms."
To keep herself busy and to prevent Gaius from asking her more uncomfortable questions, Gwen busied herself with processing herbs the moment they arrived in the infirmary. It worked, thankfully; he got the hint that she wasn't willing to keep speaking.
It felt like an eternity before Merlin and Morgana entered the physician's chamber. Gaius was on them right away, looking over his ward and the lady for any evidence of injury. "What happened?"
Merlin closed the door. "Gwen found out about me being Emrys because Morgause showed up."
Gaius choked.
"Before you say anything, Gaius, it was not at all my fault. I wasn't even there when she figured it out. You can't get mad at me for Gwen being smart. In fact, we should probably be grateful that I managed to hide well enough that someone as smart as Gwen didn't figure me out until Morgause mentioned that I had a secret identity."
Gwen smiled in relief. He really was Merlin, her Merlin, even if he was Emrys too.
"And," he continued, "Gwen is really busy, and I'm sure she has lots of questions, so I need to let her ask them now."
The eyebrow shot up. Merlin put on his best innocent face. Morgana's lips twitched as she fought back a smile. "Then I suppose that our talk can wait," Gaius growled.
Merlin's smile acquired a rather frozen quality. "Right."
Gaius sank into a chair. The others followed suit. "What would you like to know, Gwen?"
There were a hundred thing she could have said. How had Morgana found out, how long had he been a warlock, how had he managed to start a resistance movement while simultaneously working two jobs and protecting Arthur from hostile Questing Beasts and who-knew-what-else. But there was one thing she needed to understand before anything else.
"Why Camelot?"
Merlin settled back in his chair. "It all started when Mother found out that my friend Will knew I was a warlock…."
Gwen sat, and listened, and did her best to understand.
Technically, I was telling the truth when I said last time that this chapter, Uther has a plan. Technicalities are my friends.
I don't like this chapter. The pacing is weird. However, this gives Gwen some time to come to terms with Merlin's secrets without everybody else knowing. Are there any fanfics dealing mostly with Gwen's reaction to the Reveal? If you know any, please let me know, because I can't think of any offhand.
Alternate chapter title: "In Which Gwen Reflects Upon How Floorboards are Truly Terrible Hiding Places"
Next update: December 2. People deal with the fallout of Gwen's new knowledge while preparing for the journey to Tintagel.
-Antares