Chapter 10 - Will You Still Love Me When I'm Crazy?

Hey ...

Kind of late ...

Honestly, I haven't felt inspired in a long ass time. So yes, writer's block consumed me. However, I'm really feeling it lately. Of course I'm busy with schoolwork and work, but I think I'll try to make a serious effort to upload the next chapter a hell of a lot faster than this one.

I think there's like, 3 or so chapter's left of this fanfic :O Jesus, time flies, I hadn't even realized I had some so close to the end!

Without further ado, here's the story ~

"I do hope you remember to pay me back."

My father looked at Jake Abernathy with a seldom expression. "Of course."

"I would hate for your child to suffer under the wrong information," Abernathy sent me a smile. A smile with darkened eyes.

Alexa rubbed the old bump on her head as she thought of the flashback she had seen. From the moment Jake Abernathy had stated that he had known her, worked with her father, she had believed him to be full of shit. The guy was trying to mess with her, get her afraid of him. Alexa wasn't so easily fooled.

But with the flashback that just couldn't be possible for Jake to somehow implant in her mind, Alexa began second guessing everything. Why was her father associating with such a sick bastard? And why would he continue associating if he knew how cruel Jake Abernathy could be?

"What do you think?"

Alexa gazed up. Norman held up a dog frozen in spot and smiled at her.

"So … you went to Toys R Us?" Alexa frowned. Norman rolled her eyes.

"It's my dog. I stuffed her."

The blonde cocked her head to the side, "You had a dog? And she died? Shit, am I out of the loop."

"Please, if anything, you're in the loop more than anyone," Norman smirked, sitting beside her and placing the stuffed dog beside him as well. "I like it. It's like she never left."

"Did Will help you with that?"

Norman furrowed his brow, "Who? Oh, Emma's dad? Yeah, he did. How'd you know? Actually, never mind, I'm not surprised you know everything about Emma and her life."

"It shouldn't be surprising," Alexa winked. "He did a damn good job, as per usual."

"Has he ever stuffed anything of yours?"

She pursed her lips, "I think a deer I killed. I used to hunt a lot with Alex, but birds mostly. Then one day I shot this deer, but I felt terrible about it because I thought it was beautiful. Will stuffed it for me."

"Wow, that's nice of him," Norman laid back, propping himself up on his elbows. "I never knew you used to hunt."

"I never really stopped, last time was a few months ago …" Alexa nodded slowly.

"Why'd you stop?"

Alexa shrugged, "One day Alex just said he didn't want to anymore. Claimed he thought I'd be leaving my tom boy days years ago," she chuckled.

"Were you any good?" Norman questioned.

"Good enough to track a bear for over 6 miles," Alexa winked. "What can I say, I had a talent at hunting down and killing things."

He grinned. "A very random talent."

"May one day prove to be useful," Alexa cocked her head, a buzz from the side of her pants surprising her. Taking out her phone, she looked down at her phone.

Hey, wanna tell me why you ditched me? - Emma

She wanted to bite down on her lip. The original plan was to go to Emma's after skipping, but after the big hallucination, Alexa just wasn't feeling it. Emma could notice from a mile away when Alexa wasn't feeling well, and she'd question her about it until she talked. Norman, on the other hand, was pretty damn thick and could never notice when Alexa was rapidly thinking. Plus, there was something nice about talking to someone who understood how you felt - could relate. It was a good thing, right?

"It's kind of late, I should head out," Alexa sighed, standing up.

"Are you sure? There's more we could do," Norman gave a hopeful smile.

She gave him a kind smile. "I should probably start focusing on school a little more. Yeah, you remember that thing we go to daily?"

Norman grinned. "Almost forgot."

A loud shriek filled the air. It obviously belonged to Norma. The two were up in seconds, running towards her bedroom, only to find something worse then what they had in mind.

It was a body.

It was Zach Shelby's dead body.

"I … I'm sorry."

Alexa turned her head slightly towards her foster father. Regardless of the awkward tension between the two, Alex would always look out for her, as she was his daughter in every way that counted in his opinion. And despite the fact Alexa didn't want to show any signs of their fight being over, she couldn't help but appreciate his words.

"Thanks."

"You … have to understand why -" Alex began, but was silenced by the wave of Alexa's hand. She continued to stare ahead at the terrified Norma who was being consoled (though without effect) by Norman.

"I'd like a drive home."

The sheriff nodded.

The buzz of Alexa's phone cut off her staring game towards the Bates' and she answered hesitantly. "Hello?"

"Do you want to tell me why you've been ignoring me?"

Alexa shut her eyes. Emma was mad. Of course she was. And now all that was left was regret for trying to shut out her best friend.

"I have so much to tell you," the blonde murmured into the phone. "Can I come now?"

"Yes. Please," Emma stressed, able to hear something was wrong just by Alexa's tone. It wasn't easily identified, but Emma could tell in seconds. She always could.

Alex tapped her shoulder once she hung up. "I'll be back in a second, I just have to give a few last words to Norma," and Alexa nodded in agreement, walking towards his car.

A hand reached out and grabbed her wrist as she made her way. Letting out a yelp, a frown settled when she realized it was Dylan.

"What are you doing?" she pushed herself away from him.

"Why have you been ignoring me?" Dylan stared at her intensely. "And ignoring your friend, Emma? Why are you pushing away the normal people?"

Alexa raised both eyebrows. "How do you know I've been ignoring Emma? And uh, really? Coming from the guy that killed someone out of anger? If you're 'normal' then I really am screwed."

Dylan rolled his eyes, "Emma called me asking where you were. You've been ditching your best friend for Norma and Norman? That is ridiculous."

"They understand. I don't want to trouble Em with things she couldn't understand."

He took a step back, "Things she couldn't understand …? She's on the edge of death, whether you like to realize it or not. She knows and understands a lot more then you ever could. And Norman too."

"Maybe she does. But I hate having her worry."

"What is there to worry about?" Dylan frowned, "Are you sick?"

Alexa scoffed, "Yeah, in the head," she made her way towards her foster father's car in a huff. "I have to go talk to Emma."

Dylan took her by her shoulders and pushed her onto the car. "Talk to me. What do you mean, 'in the head'? What did Norma do? What did she tell you?"

"Nothing," Alexa leaned in towards his face. "Dylan, I'm not okay. Ever since my parents died I thought I was, but I'm not! I … I'm like Norman."

"Don't ever fucking say that," Dylan seethed, an intensity in his blue eyes that put shivers down Alexa's spine. "Ever. Again. Okay?"

She slowly nodded.

"What do you mean by that?" he asked, trying to regain calmness.

"The black outs, Dylan. I told you! Sure, I've never hurt anyone, but I have them. And it got worse earlier. I went to my childhood home and I saw it … Though it should be burnt down, I saw it. I saw my mother inside. I imagined things … Until Bradley saved me …"

Dylan furrowed his brows, "Maybe you were dreaming -"

"I was awake. She found me in the cabin, the last remaining piece of the property, while I was screaming."

"You could've hit your head and then had a nightmare."

Alexa sighed heavily, lowering her gaze, "I don't know … I honestly don't!"

"What did Bradley say?" Dylan stressed.

"What I just told you … She said one time I blacked out with her and it was so bad that, well, she won't even speak of it again," Alexa murmured, lifting her eyes back to his, her fear penetrating through him. "What if I did hurt someone?"

Dylan flexed his jaw, "Well, I'll figure it out."

"H-how …?"

"I'll get it out of her. I'll figure it out," he spoke with determination. "I'm sorry, I hurt your arms …" he let go of her.

Alexa sighed, "Now I'm cold."

"Wear a jacket next time," he smirked.

She looked up at him. "You don't have to harass Bradley."

"I will do it so kindly she won't even realize," Dylan gave a charming smile.

"I bet you will," she spoke in low tones.

Dylan looked away, "Your dad is coming. I should hide in the trees so he doesn't know we were talking."

"You should. He's the sheriff, he'll hunt you -" Alexa was cut off by Dylan's lips on her forehead. She looked up at him in shock, eyes wide and surprised.

"Have a good night," he whispered into her ear, before turning back and walking away.

Alex came forward after a few seconds. "Ready to leave?"

"Uh … I … hmm … Yeah …" Alexa gulped, getting into the car. "Actually … Could you drop me off at Emma's?"

"Really?" Alex raised one eyebrow, hoping to talk to her tonight.

She smirked, "I have a few things I need to dish out to Em. Hope you don't mind."

"Y'know, lately, I have a feeling everyone knows something about you except for me," Alex looked over at her suspiciously. She laughed in response.

"Maybe …"

"Okay fine, fair enough … But you gotta know …"

She looked over at him. "What?"

"No one could ever love you more then I do. Or watch over you with more ferocity. Just know that."

Alexa fell into thought.

"So not only did some hot older guy kiss you but you've been avoiding me because you think I'll think you're crazy?" Emma took a seat in front of Alexa. The blonde let out a sigh and nodded.

"Basically."

Emma placed her hand underneath her chin. "The fact you think I'd ever think you're crazy is crazy. Do you not trust me …?"

"Nothing to do with trust, believe me. I just don't want you to leave me because you think I'm too much."

"One of the reasons I love you so much is because you're too much," Emma cracked a smile.

Alexa smiled back. "Of course. I'm glad."

"But … I have something to tell you. You might be really pissed and I'll understand if you are."

The smile disappeared. "What?"

"I … I've known … for a while. About your blackouts. In fact, I've seen a few."

Alexa leaned her back against the wall, watching Emma with a rather indifferent expression. Emma knew she was mad, of course, but some other unreadable emotion played as well, and it bothered the brunette half to hell that she couldn't figure it out. It was rare for Alexa to have Emma stumped for long.

"Why didn't you mention this to me right afterwards?" Alexa finally asked. Emma gulped.

"It was … slightly frightening …"

The blonde bit down on her tongue. "Did I hurt anyone?"

"No," Emma replied, almost too quickly for reassurance, before lowering her gaze out the window. "No one … You're just gone."

"So … Basically … I'm completely bat shit and everyone knows it but doesn't want to tell me."

Emma immediately looked back up at her. "No! You're not 'bat shit', you're just going through some things. Your parents died, Alexa … you were there … Just because you still aren't recovered doesn't make you crazy."

"Or maybe it does. At least there's a reason, right?"

"Stop it." She pushed her breathing tank behind her leg and stared intensely at her best friend, determined to change her mind about herself. "You don't remember everything that night because it was traumatizing. And because it was blacked out, your mind just sort of has a penchant for that sort of thing. It doesn't make you crazy, it's just a stress mechanism that your mind has created."

"Well, I need to get rid of it. I can't spend my whole life having random freak outs just because my mind is weak!" she exasperated, causing Emma to sigh out. Though the brunette was happy she wasn't calling herself crazy, changing it to 'weak' wasn't exactly the best substitute.

"You can't just force your mind. If it's not ready, it's not time. The best you can do is try to get over the mechanism now. In time, you'll remember. Or maybe … you never will. Is it such a bad thing that you don't?" Emma suggested. "Maybe it's better off that you don't remember. Maybe it's a chance to forever see your parents in a shining light."

Alexa looked away in shame. If it was her brain's way of keeping her parents immortally happy in her mind, why was she getting bits and pieces of their bad side? Of their acknowledgement of Shelby's disturbing activities, or getting into business with a socio like Abernathy? If my mind wants to keep them in a good light, a 'shining' one, why begin showing me their dark spots?

"I am incredibly confused. I don't know - I simply don't know."

Emma leaned forward, "You aren't crazy or weak. Your mind is just different. You may not be able to remember, but you change it for now."

Alexa simply stared. Finally, she leaned forward and turned off the lamp. "I'm tired. Let's go to bed."

~x~

The following day, Alexa had spent the entirety of it doing homework. At one point, throughout all the drama and craziness, she had actually forgotten about school. She truly couldn't blame Norman for wanting to skip that one time, especially considering she nearly forgot the reason why her phone was waking her up at 6:30 in the morning. Both her and Emma had decided today would be an 'ugly day' and woke at 7:55, driving madly to school with their hair pulled back in ponytails. It wouldn't be the first time they both had similar hair styles, just this time was more on purpose then usual.

At one point during lunch, Alexa received a phone call from an unknown phone number. A chill went down her spine - was this Abernathy? Was he trying to continue harassing her? Gulping deeply, Alexa answered with a slow, "Hello?"

"Hey Alexa. Do you know where your father is?"

The blonde frowned. "Norma? Uh, no, I don't, sorry. Why?"

"Well, guess what I just received? Flowers. Flowers!"

She continued frowning, "Um … congratulations? Honestly, I don't think Alex sent that, he really isn't the type to try and console people."

"I don't think your father sent it - it was Jake Abernathy!"

Alexa let out a sigh, "Ah, I see. So he's trying to mess with you is what you think."

"Exactly! No one else gets it!" Norma heaved heavily. "I tried calling but he wasn't in at the station. Where the hell could he be? Isn't it his JOB to protect the people of this town?"

"Yeah, this town is kind of messed up, that'd be pretty hard," Alexa sarcastically replied, though noticing how afraid Norma was, immediately regretted it. "He's probably just going around town doing … shit. Keep everything locked up and try to stay around a few people. Safety in numbers, right? He can harass you but that's better then hurt, right?"

Norma let out an aggravated moan. "That doesn't make me feel any better! But … you are right … There are a bunch of god damn potheads here! But at least there's someone."

"There ya go. Potheads, though? Hah, did Dylan bring them?" Alexa chuckled, thinking of his kiss. It was an absurd kiss - not even a kiss. But it technically was, right? It meant he liked her, right?

"Alexa, please."

"Sorry."

Norma sighed, most likely pacing, or at least that's how Alexa imagined her. "Are you coming over tonight?"

"As far as I know, no. Why, do you want me too?"

"Sure. I'm going to stop by the real estate to scream at him. I actually have a few things to tell you, to be honest."

Alexa furrowed her brow, "Is everything alright?"

"Oh yeah, yeah. But uh, just come after work, if that's alright."

"Em drove me to school so she'll need to drive me home and then I'll drive over, so I'll be a little later then usual. But I can come, for sure."

"Good, good. See ya," Norma spoke.

"Yeah, bye," Alexa hung up.

A little smile slipped out at the idea of potheads surrounding Norma, no doubt company Dylan had brought over.

Apparently Emma was working so she offered for the two to go together to the Bates'.

"I just have to get something," Alexa suggested they stop at a café. "I'm still dying."

Emma put her head on the wheel. "I can't even drink too much caffeine. I just have to suffer."

"You can drink coffee."

"I've already had some."

Alexa frowned, "Like two cups?"

The brunette looked up with a puppy dog expression. "Like five."

The two laughed hysterically for a few minutes before Alexa bought a double double for herself, and a Chai tea with lots of cream and sugar for Emma. Bradley was inside.

"Hi," she casually said.

Bradley attempted a smile. "Hello."

"How are you?" Alexa awkwardly asked, holding the two burning cups uncomfortably in her hands.

"Good. Waiting for a friend. You?"

It pleased Alexa that the girl was just as awkward as her. She hated the idea of seeming weak and easily intimidated by someone else.

"Going to a friends with Em."

Bradley nodded. "Oh, to Norman's?"

"Yeah. Just to hang out."

"I see. Do you know if Dylan will be there?"

Alexa froze. "How … do you know Dylan?"

"I met him the other day. He's a great guy. Really helped me with something."

Something about her comment pissed off Alexa half to hell. Dylan and Bradley had met each other? They were on speaking terms? They were friends? Bradley liked him? She could tell, Alexa could, of course she could. She used to be best friends with the girl for Christ's sake. Bradley could try to be secretive and worked on nearly everyone - but Alexa. It was like an Emma affect - Alexa could see it.

Wait, stop - had Dylan already found and hung out with Bradley for information about that night Alexa couldn't remember?

"I should head out," Alexa lowered her voice, ready to yell. "I'll see you around."

Bradley stood up, "Wait. I was … well, listen, I can't tell you where I was but, this is yours," she gave something to Alexa. "It has your father's name on it."

Alexa frowned. "I don't understand … Where did you find this?"

"In my father's belongings. It says, To Don Blue concerning Alexa Blue. It's about you. I thought you should know what it means," Bradley gave a slight smile. "But uh … on the back …"

Alexa slowly turned the envelope.

Zach Shelby.

"This is a letter about me … From Shelby?" Alexa looked up at her in shock.

Bradley nodded.

"Thank you. I appreciate it. Uh, can you watch these drinks? I just have to go to the bathroom …" Alexa sent them down and ran off. Bradley watched carefully.

Would she have a blackout? I'll need to take her home if she does, Bradley quickly thought. This was bad timing, very bad timing. I didn't think she'd read it right here!

Meanwhile in the bathroom, Alexa was opening the envelope slowly.

Don,

You and your family are in danger. You need to stop dicking around with that Abernathy jack ass - I know him, I personally know him, and he isn't a good guy. Summers looks like a little ant compared to this giant. You're playing around with the wrong person. I'd also like to point out that you have a fucking wife and daughter to watch out for. Be courteous. I'm not going to lie to you, I could honestly care less about what happens to you. And if your wife died, well that would be terrible. My main concern is Alexa. She's special. I need to look after her, just as much as Alex does. If she gets hurt because of your poor life decisions, do you know how guilty you're going to be? I'll personally make sure you feel guilty if she's hurt. And not just me. Alex Romero. Jerry Martin. We will make sure.

And B. Watch out for B! She'll ruin fucking everything with her problems!

Jake Abernathy will kill you if you keep playing around. Just like how everyone in this god forsaken town is taken care of if they try to step up the big guns - with fire. They will burn you. They will burn your wife, they will burn your daughter.

Lastly, it seems you haven't been giving the best impression on your daughter. God, I don't even know how to say this …

Don, your daughter

The letter was cut off. Someone had torn the bottom.

Why had Jerry Martin - Bradley's father - been watching Alexa? He had been a nice guy to her, but he had never shown signs of being a protector.

Or was the point to be secretive about it?

This was it, wasn't it? Her parents were murdered by Jake Abernathy. She herself had almost been killed. And these last couple of years, were a group of influential men watching over her?

Why?

Her phone buzzed. Alexa looked at the text.

So, Norma wants to move. - Norman had sent her.

Alexa shut her eyes.

Oh and lastly,

Who the hell was B?

FINALLY we're getting into some serious PLOT! :D Can't wait for the next last few chapter's. Really excited. It's gonna be a great mixture of plot and romance and hurt and bleh, very excited.

Hope you guys liked this. Sorry for the long update -.-'

Oh and yes, I'm aware, lots of swearing in this chapter. Sorry if I offended anyone, heh.

Yours truly, mothafuckas,

N.D