Chapter 10

Olivia's alarm went off at 4:15. It wasn't a constant, obnoxious buzzing, but just a few soft beeps that gradually got louder. In the darkness of the room, she tried to reach over to the nightstand to get her phone, but a heavy weight rested over her abdomen. She frowned in momentary confusion and maneuvered her way to the phone. Once she quieted the alarm, she managed to turn on the lamp next to her. When she turned around to inspect what had been trapped around her body, she gasped.

There lay Fitz, naked and beautiful. It was then that she realized the night before hadn't been a dream. She hadn't just dreamt holding his hand on the bus and making the choice to join him in his room. She could tell from the tingle between her thighs that she definitely hadn't just imagined all the things he did to her and how he'd made her orgasm harder than she ever had in her life.

A tingle went up her spine as she recalled his passionate kisses and dominating attitude. He was a pretty laid-back guy in general, often letting her and Cyrus make the crucial decisions about his campaign. But Olivia now knew that as far as the bedroom was concerned, Fitz was definitely the one in charge. And she liked it.

Still, she couldn't fight the gnawing feeling of guilt. She'd known from the first day that she and Fitz were attracted to each other and, in her private thoughts, she had even imagined sleeping wit him. But she never thought she actually would. As good as it felt, it was still wrong. He was married, with kids, and running for the highest office in the country and potentially the world. He was the definition of unavailable.

So with that in mind, Olivia slipped out of the bed and gathered her clothes that had been discarded around the bed. She stuffed her underwear into a side pocket in her luggage, then put her clothes on as quietly as possible. She grabbed her suitcase and tiptoed to the front door. Before she left, she looked over her shoulder at Fitz, who looked so peaceful and calm. She wanted to stay, but she knew that was ridiculous. She opened the door and checked the hallway a few times before sneaking out and going to her own room.

Once she was inside her suite, she pushed her bag against the wall and rubbed her head. She wanted to crumple to the floor and flesh out all the conflicting emotions she was feeling, but she didn't have time for that. At the end of the day, she was still Fitz's campaign fixer and she wasn't going to let him down just because of her girly feelings. So she took a shower, got dressed in one of her favorite suits and held her head high as she went downstairs.

The restaurant area of the hotel was already packed with campaign workers, who were setting up for the 6 AM pancake breakfast. Olivia joined in with placing chairs and arranging signs and she nearly jumped out of her skin when Cyrus touched her on the shoulder.

"Whoa there. Jumpy this morning, Liv?" he asked with a smile.

"Yeah, sorry," she said with a sheepish smile. "I guess I was feeling guilty because I'm a little late to the set-up."

"Aw, don't worry about it. These kids have everything handled. Have you seen Fitz yet?"

She felt a burn in her cheeks so she looked away from Cyrus and pretended to stack plates.

"No, I haven't," she lied.

"I might go up there and knock on his door in a few minutes. You know I have to be a mother hen for that boy."

Olivia smiled and nodded and was very thankful when Cyrus found someone else to talk to. She busied herself with anything she could get her hands on until people from the community started to file in, anxiously wanting to meet the candidate. Olivia shook hands and led people to tables. The room was about halfway filled with potential voters when the star of the hour himself walked in, looking awfully refreshed and chipper. She blushed thinking that she might have had something to do with that happiness.

"There he is," Cyrus announced. Everyone in the room clapped and Fitz held up his hand and smiled. He worked the room, bringing plates of breakfast to people and sitting down to chat with them. Every now and then, Olivia looked his way and was happy that he hadn't looked at her. A part of her worried that he was just going to forget last night and treat it like it never happened. She wasn't sure whether to be happy or sad about that.

But then, about thirty minutes into the breakfast, Olivia stole a glance at Fitz while he talked to a small family and held their baby. He bounced the baby on his knee and while the mother talked to him, his eyes floated to Olivia. They stared at one another for a heated second, and it was then that she knew he definitely hadn't forgotten.

Still, she tried to avoid him for the rest of the morning. Once all the voters were fed, the campaign workers were allowed to get in line for food. Olivia hung back until the end and as she loaded some potatoes and grits onto her plate, a deep voice behind her said, "you left."

She froze in place and chanced a glance at Fitz. He had a little smirk on his face so she knew he wasn't angry.

"I had to," she said lowly as she started walking through the line again. "I had to get here early to help set up."

"Hm."

He poked his lips out like he wasn't impressed with her explanation.

"Plus, I didn't want Cyrus to find me there," she added.

"Hm," he said again.

Olivia raised an eyebrow but when he didn't say anything else, she assumed the conversation was over. They got to the end of the line and picked up cups of orange juice. She turned around to search of their table, and Fitz leaned down to her ear and whispered, "the sheets still smell like you." And with that, he walked away, leaving her speechless. She recovered and followed him to a table where Cyrus and a few others were already seated. Olivia sat as far away from Fitz as possible. She zoned out completely while everyone else talked and her ears only perked up when Cyrus directed his attention to her.

"Liv, you okay?" you asked. "You look like you didn't sleep a wink."

Despite her better judgment, her eyes immediately darted to Fitz, who had a smug smile on his face.

"Uh, yeah, I guess I didn't get very much sleep," she said.

"I hope you weren't up working too hard, Liv," Fitz said. And it may have been her imagination, but it seemed like he put a lot of emphasis on the word 'hard.' "I slept great, by the way. Best rest I've had in a long time. I did a little pre-bedtime exercise...knocked me right out."

Olivia almost scoffed when he winked at her, but she didn't want to draw any more attention to them than he already was. Luckily for them, Cyrus was completely unaware of what was going on.

"I like this hotel," Cyrus said. "I ordered room service last night and the food was really good."

"Sure was," Fitz agreed. Olivia frowned because she didn't recall him ordering any room service. "I had some really great homemade pie."

She was so caught off guard by his response that she actually choked on her orange juice. Cyrus had to reach over and hit her on the back and she held up her hand to say she was okay. She excused herself before Fitz killed her with his innuendo. She felt his eyes on her as she walked away but she kept going until she was on the elevator. As soon as the doors closed, she covered her face with her hands and shook her head. The whole situation felt surreal. She was still in a fog when she let herself into her room and fell face-first onto the bed. Almost immediately, her eyes closed out of sheer exhaustion and she drifted off to sleep.

Knocks on the door brought her back to reality and Olivia sat up, startled. She wasn't sure how long she had been out but she knew Cyrus had probably come up to ask her what the hell was wrong with her. She swung the door open and her heart leapt into her throat when she saw Fitz, looking concerned.

"Cyrus is worried about you. Are you okay?" he asked.

"Yeah...I guess I was just more tired than I thought."

He raised an eyebrow. "Can I come in?"

"I don't know if that's a good idea," she said, crossing her arms. "You know, might be too much homemade pie in here."

Fitz laughed and shoved his hands into his pockets.

"Don't tell me my little jokes ran you off."

Olivia stuck her head into the hallway and then yanked him inside with her. Once the door was closed, she spun around and threw her hands into the air.

"Have you lost your mind?" she asked in a harsh whisper. "Do you want everyone to know that we had sex?"

"That might not be so bad. Maybe then Mellie would finally leave me and you and I can move to my ranch and make wine together."

"Wow. You actually have lost your mind."

Fitz plopped down on her bed and got comfortable, placing his hands behind his head.

"You left," he said again.

"Yes, and as I explained earlier, I had to leave."

"You could have said goodbye," he said softly.

"No, I couldn't," she said, matching his tone.

"So, what? That's it? One time and you're out?"

"Fitz, are you serious? You know we can't do that again."

"It was good, wasn't it?"

"Of course it was good! That's not the point."

"Then what is the point?"

"The point is that you are so off limits, it's not even funny. I don't have to enumerate all the reasons that we cannot ever have sex again and why we probably shouldn't even be in a room together without some kind of supervision. If people found out, your campaign would be over before it started and all this would have been for nothing." She sighed and rubbed her head. "I'm not saying it was a mistake, but I am saying it was a one-time thing."

Fitz nodded slowly, then pulled himself off the bed and walked towards her. It was almost like he was stalking her and the closer he got, the more she moved back until she was pressed against the door. He put his hands on her hips and got so close to her that their noses were almost touching.

"Stop," she said weakly.

"I can't. I thought that maybe if we slept together, I'd get you out of my system. But all you did was get me addicted to you. I want more." He ran his nose along her neck and she shivered. "I need more."

"This. Could. Never. Work," she said as firmly as she could muster, given the circumstances. "This will only end badly."

"It might end wonderfully," he whispered.

He still hadn't kissed her but he ghosted his lips along her skin and it took everything in her not to pull him closer.

"I can't have an affair with you, Fitz. This is crazy."

"It is crazy. And it feels so good." He kept teasing her, then he pulled away and looked at her with hooded eyes. "If you tell me that you don't want me, I'll leave you alone."

Olivia opened her mouth to deny it, but she couldn't force such a lie. Fitz smiled.

"That's what I thought."

"I'm not a slut," she said with a shaky voice. "I'm not a mistress. I'm not the other woman."

He encased her face with both hands and shook his head.

"No, you're absolutely not. You're a beautiful, confident, fucking brilliant woman. I love to hear you talk. I love to watch you put people in their places. I love how in control you are when you're in business mode." He stroked his thumbs across her cheeks and smiled. "But even more than that, I love how out of control you are when you're with me. I love knowing that when I touch you like this, you get wet for me. Are you wet right now, baby?"

She closed her eyes so she didn't have to continue to get sucked into his gaze. He smelled so good and he was so damn sexy, she couldn't even think straight. And he was talking dirty on top of it. It was a miracle that she didn't throw him down and rip his clothes off.

"Don't make me stop, Livi," he whispered. "You don't even know how much you've hypnotized me and I'm not ready for you to break the spell. Tell me it's not over yet."

When she opened her eyes again, she felt like she was in a daze. Fitz was too close, too handsome, too intoxicating. Before she could think better of it, her lips were moving and saying what was on her heart instead of in her head.

"It's not over," she said.

And it was at that moment that she knew: her life would never be the same.

...

Olivia's alarm went off at 5:00 and she instinctively reached over to turn it off. She pulled her head off of something hard and she put her hand down to feel it out. When she was met with the soft material of a T-shirt and a quiet grumble, she recalled the events of the previous night. The sex tape. Fitz. Snuggling. He started to move underneath her so she made quick work of the alarm before it could wake him up. She turned on the lamp next to the bed and although he rolled his head away from the light, he didn't wake up.

She took a moment to look at him, and she brushed some of his hair out of his face. He looked older and more tired than he used to. She knew that presidency had aged many a man but she couldn't help but feel some responsibility for Fitz's stress level. Their constant fighting and back-and-forth couldn't have been good for him.

She thought about waking him up, but decided against it when she saw how comfortable he looked. She kissed his cheek, then slowly detangled herself from his arms and legs. She pulled a robe over her body and crept out of the room. When she made it to the living room, she turned on the news, afraid that she might see something about her and Fitz on the screen. Luckily, it didn't appear that anybody had gotten wind of the sex tape or anything else about them.

Olivia scooted into the kitchen and searched her fridge for breakfast items. She settled for bacon, eggs and muffins and once the bacon had been in the pan for a while, the aroma began to float through the apartment. After a few minutes, the bedroom door opened and Fitz walked into the living room. His hair was in complete disarray and he was squinting.

"Hi," he said.

"Hi," she smiled.

"You left."

Her smile widened and she gestured to the pan.

"To make you breakfast."

"Hmmm...Olivia being domestic. I like it."

She stood over the pan, flipping the bacon a few times, and she briefly closed her eyes when Fitz hugged her from behind. He kissed her neck and rested his chin on her shoulder.

"I like the way this feels," he said.

"Me too."

He kissed her again, then backed away.

"Anything I can do to help?"

"Pour us some juice?"

Fitz did as she asked and once everything was ready, Olivia brought their plates to the table. They ate in silence for a few minutes, but she broke the ice.

"I've been thinking about the tape," she said.

"Okay. What do you want to do?"

She took a deep breath, then gave him that apologetic smile she had perfected.

"Nothing."

Fitz's eyebrows shot off his head. "Nothing?"

"I'm so tired, Fitz," she confessed. "I'm tired of hiding and pretending. I'm tired of going to sleep alone and hugging my pillow, pretending it's you. We were crazy to think that we could keep this a secret forever, and I just can't do it anymore." She reached across the table and took his hand in hers. "I know that tape probably should have scared me into action, but all it did was remind me of how much I miss you."

He sat quietly while her words sank into his brain. Then he laced her fingers with hers.

"I've been wanting you to say that for three years," he said. "You're all I've ever wanted, Liv. I'm ready to give it all up for you."

"I know," she smiled. "And I'm finally ready to do the same."

"I want this more than anything. But are you sure? This won't go away over night. People are going to smear you and me and things are gonna be ugly for a long time. It might ruin your career. You love your job so much. Are you sure you want to do this?"

She took one last moment to think about it, then she nodded.

"I'm sure. As long as we're in this together, I can do it."

Fitz tugged on her hand until she stood and sat on his lap. He hugged her tightly and kissed her hands, then her cheeks, then her lips.

"I love you," he said.

"I love you, too. And I'm sorry for everything I ever did to hurt you. I never meant to."

"I know. And I'm sorry, too, because when I said those awful things to you, I was trying to hurt you. But I didn't mean any of it."

She smiled and nodded. "I know." She caressed his cheek then checked the clock. "You should go. Cyrus has probably already sent out the hounds."

"We'll talk tonight?"

"Yes."

She kissed him, then walked back to the bedroom with him. He put his clothes back on and she tied his tie for him. She walked him to the front door and pulled him down to her for another kiss.

"I'll miss you tonight," she whispered.

"Not as much as I'll miss you. Maybe I'll be back. After I tell Cyrus that we're not going to fight the tape, he'll probably kick me out."

They chuckled and Olivia kissed him again.

"I'll keep your spot warm," she said. "Now, go. Be President."

"Yes, ma'am."

She saw him out then closed the door and pressed her back into it. Her head was screaming at her to change her mind about the tape, but she had listened to her mind for too long and it all it did was cause her pain. This time, she was going with her heart. She only hoped it didn't ruin her.