Lambo knew his request to join the Straw Hats would be taken poorly. He was only fifteen after all. But he was a determined little thing who managed to stalk Reborn of all people across entire continents to a place he had never heard of, much less been before. Successfully, at that!
So the odds of keeping him away from Luffy and the others was practically nonexistent.
A fact his adopted father Dalton was unfortunately aware of. After all, he was the first to realize it was going to be impossible to keep his son from befriending the odd reindeer Kureha had taken in as an apprentice.
"I hope you're prepared for this. The sea is no joke."
Lambo looked at where the others were already waiting.
"I know Luffy-nee will always have my back. She always does," said Lambo without hesitation. He would miss Dalton, who was a much better father figure than his Uncle had been. He pulled something out. "Besides, she told me to give this to you."
It was a den den mushi with a number tacked on. It had a tiny straw hat with cow horns on the shell.
Dalton stared at it with shock. He knew all too well that snails were expensive.
"Luffy-nee would never make me give up on family," said Lambo by way of explanation. "She also wanted to make sure you knew that she doesn't mind if Chopper uses it to talk to Auntie Kureha."
Lambo was possibly the only person who was allowed to get away with calling that old bat "auntie" to her face.
Lambo grinned at the expression on Dalton's face. It never failed to amuse him the way Dalton looked when he called Kureha "auntie".
A few days later, on the Merry...
Chopper finished giving Luffy a proper examination. So far his new captain and self-proclaimed "Big Sister" had a relatively clean bill of health. But there was one thing that bugged him he felt he had to say something to Sanji. It wasn't anything too serious, but it would bug him otherwise.
He was happy Lambo was on the ship with him though. He would have missed his best friend if he had to leave him behind.
Once he finished the exam of all the other crew members (most got a clean bill of health, outside of one or two issues which he mentioned that could easily be corrected) he went to the galley for dinner.
Sanji handed Chopper and Lambo a fully vegetarian dish, before handing out the food to everyone else.
"How is it?" he asked smiling.
"It's really good! But I think you need to adjust Luffy's diet a bit."
"How so?" asked Sanji.
"She's mostly healthy, but I noticed she was a bit malnourished because her high metabolism processes the food a bit too quickly for it to properly sustain her. She mostly needs more protein and you should add something with a higher calorie content. Something that would keep her feeling full longer would go a long way," said Chopper.
Sanji nodded, as that was something he could easy do...until his mind went through what Chopper said.
"Wait... she? Luffy's a boy."
Chopper looked confused, but Takeshi, Zoro, Lambo and Nojiko all looked at each other before trying hard not to laugh about something.
"Shishishi..." snickered Luffy.
"Luffy's a girl. A very fit one with a preference for boy's clothing, but still a girl," said Chopper. He looked slightly embarrassed. "Besides, I know what a female smells like when they have their monthly heats."
Kureha had tried to explain a woman's period to him, but it smelled more like a female in heat, so she had given up. So she explained that a human female would be extremely crabby when she smelled like that and was more likely to punch a male than to mate with them...and that chocolate was an absolute necessity.
Sanji had an entertaining look on his face.
"Luffy is a guy," he said, almost as if he was trying to convince himself. Nami, Usopp, Gin, and Vivi had similar expressions on their face.
Luffy was desperately trying not to cackle. She wasn't the only one.
Chopper was firm.
"Luffy is a girl."
Sanji turned to look at Luffy, who caved and started howling with laughter. That set off Zoro, Takeshi, Lambo and Nojiko, for similar reasons.
"Luffy's a girl?" said Vivi in disbelief.
Luffy managed to regain her composure long enough to start taking off her vest. If she had been a boy, it wouldn't have mattered much because several of the guys on the crew went shirtless.
However seeing the tank top with a bust being carefully hidden back was enough to cause those who hadn't been in the know to stall. It was like watching an "error" message flash repeatedly in their brains.
"Shishishi!"
"But...HOW?" asked Nami, who was the first to recover.
Luffy gave her a flat look.
"How much crap did you go through once you hit puberty about being a pirate?" she deadpanned. "People take boys seriously, whereas girls are considered either 'eye candy' or an 'easy lay' if they become pirates. The only female pirate I can think of off the top of my head that anyone takes seriously as a major player is Boa Hancock."
Nami opened her mouth, before conceded her point.
"Why didn't you say anything though?" asked Vivi baffled.
Luffy shrugged.
"It wasn't important."
"Wasn't... I would say the fact you're a girl is pretty damn important!" said Sanji.
"Why?" asked Luffy with honest confusion.
Sanji's mouth opened and closed, trying to find a way to express to explain why it was such a big deal Luffy was actually a girl.
The thing was, he couldn't really think of anything that didn't make him sound like a misogynistic asshole.
Luffy was such a genuine person that she didn't really hide who she was. It wasn't as if a pair of breasts or the fact she had to squat while peeing actually changed who she was.
Nami however was giving her sister a flinty look.
"You knew?"
"Of course I knew. Luffy admitted as much when I asked why she wanted me to join the crew," snorted Nojiko. "She just doesn't like advertising like you do, which was why I spent an entire fifteen minutes getting her measurements so she wouldn't be busted by the Marines getting replacements for her clothes. She's actually a cup or two smaller than yours."
Sanji was still trying to wrap his mind around the fact Luffy was a girl.
He had been treating Luffy like the other guys on the crew this whole time...including some less than friendly headslaps when he busted him...her...trying to raid the pantry or the freezers.
Finding out his captain was a woman had Sanji seriously questioning his habits and his honor code. Either way it was going to be an awkward couple of days while he tried to process this.
Instead he turned to Chopper, who was looking really upset at the chaos he had inadvertantly caused by revealing Luffy's gender. He had thought they had known after all.
"Wait, I can get Nojiko, but how did you three find out?" asked Usopp, turning to the guys.
Zoro shrugged.
"Luffy got hit with some water before we first met Nami, and it caused her shirt to stick to her," he said as if that explained everything. "I asked and she openly admitted she was a girl, but I didn't see any reason to bring it up."
Gin looked at the other two.
"Luffy-nee is Luffy-nee," shrugged Lambo, and Takeshi nodded in agreement.
"I need a drink," said Gin.
Nami nodded to that, as did Usopp and Vivi. Sanji was still firmly in the denial stage though he would still join in later.
Chopper felt horrible, but the damage was done. He only relaxed when Luffy cuddled with him a few hours later.
"Did I do something wrong?"
"Nah, it's just they need to learn that sometimes you have to look underneath the obvious to see the truth. It wasn't like I was trying to hide it all that hard and humans have some really ridiculous views on what they consider 'acceptable' gender roles."
Chopper tried to understand what she meant, but that was something a bit too complicated for him to deal with. It sounded like a human thing though.
Luffy tried to think of a way to explain it, before she hit upon a good example.
"Imagine a wolf pack. There's males and females in all sorts of roles, but there are also established leaders, right?"
Chopper nodded eagerly. Luffy was talking to him the same way Doctorine did to explain human behavior! He snuggled into her arms happily.
"In a well balanced wolf pack, the burden of protecting the pack falls to both males and females. Sure, the females are the ones to bear the young and do the majority of raising the pups until their teeth grow in and they can hunt, but they are just as quick to rip someone into shreds if the pack is threatened. More importantly a wolf pack allows for both male and female alphas."
Chopper was following so far. Luffy made it really easy to understand, even if he was a reindeer and not a wolf. Pack behavior, or rather "herd" behavior was something he knew a lot about.
Even if this was the first time he was actually part of a herd.
"Humans are different. They like the idea of a 'male' being the alpha, but when a female does it instead of sticking to rearing the young and keeping the home, they tend to react in different ways. A female is expected to be a nurturing creature who sticks close to the territory and takes care of things while the male does all the hunting and fighting. Basically she's supposed to act like a wide-eyed doe instead of an equal part of the wolf pack."
Chopper couldn't understand that sort of logic. Even he knew that females could be just as dangerous as males! It sounded silly to make a wolf into a doe simple because they were female.
"That sounds silly."
Luffy chuckled.
"It is ridiculous. It's why Sanji reacted so badly to learning I was a girl...he's built himself up as a playboy and realizing he had been treating me the same way he does the other guys came as a nasty shock because it conflicts with his ingrained habits."
"You're really strong though! Why does it matter if you're a girl?" asked Chopper baffled.
"It doesn't," said a voice from the door. It was Zoro. "That's what I like about Luffy. She doesn't give a rat's ass about what people think girls should be. She makes her own way regardless of what people assume she should be."
Luffy beamed at him. There was a reason why Zoro was her favorite. The fact she might have been partial to him in other ways had crossed her mind more than once, but so far she had yet to see any signs of reciprocating feelings.
(Then again she was unaware of the 'talk' Takeshi had with Zoro about hurting her if he did decide to pursue her as a girl. He had no issues with Luffy dating him...but he would be murderous if Zoro broke her heart. Until one of them showed signs of actual interest, they would remain stuck in a holding pattern.)
It was such a peaceful day on the Merry. The sun was shining, the birds were flying overhead...indicating land was sure to be nearby, Lambo was handing Chopper the latest copy of their favorite book series (which sparked Luffy's interest) and giving his captain a copy of the first book.
It took exactly five pages before Luffy's aura turned straight to feminine fury.
"Lambo, who writes this series?"
"I heard it was Red Haired Shanks. Drives the Marines crazy when they try to figure out what his angle is with the books," said Lambo, not getting why Luffy felt like she was on the verge of a long, painful rant to someone who had reached the end of her patience.
Usually the result of causing more paperwork to her overfilled desk.
Luffy glanced at the sun briefly, before an evil smirk that would have fit Mukuro or worse, Reborn's face better than her own appeared.
Lambo and Takeshi immediately took several steps back, with Chopper following Lambo's lead.
Luffy went to get her snail and dialed up Shanks.
It took a few moments before the sound of good natured groaning from someone obviously suffering the after effects of a long party filled with far too much booze was heard.
Lambo had to wince when he saw the curious expressions of the others at what Luffy was doing. Mostly because of the look on her face.
He promptly covered his ears, as did Takeshi and Chopper.
"Shanks... WHY ARE YOU WRITING A BOOK SERIES WITH A CHARACTER BASED OFF OF ME, YOU ASS?!"
You could hear the yelps as several things crashed and the pained groans as the too loud voice hit just the right frequency for maximum pain.
"Luffy?" said Shanks bewildered.
"You bastard...why the hell are you writing a book series about me?!" demanded Luffy irate.
The snail blinked, and Luffy vaguely noticed the confused and bewildered expressions of the others.
"...You finally found out about the Bunny Princess series?" he asked, laughing.
"Shanks, when I see you again I am going to kick you so hard in the balls it will be a miracle if you can sing anything other than soprano for two months," said Luffy pissed. "And then I'll insure that your wife Benn has plenty to bitch about while you clean up after all the little surprises I'm going to leave on your ship!"
"I'm not his wife!" shouted Benn.
"Well you sure as hell nag him enough to be one!" Luffy shot back.
"Wait, what's this about the Bunny Princess series?" asked Vivi confused beyond belief. She wasn't the only one.
Luffy held up the first book.
"You know how she got her Devil Fruit powers and the scar on her face?" said Luffy annoyed.
Several heads nodded, including amusingly enough, Gin.
"It's almost a perfect recreation of how I got mine," deadpanned Luffy. "The fact Shanks wrote this just confirmed he based her off of me because he's always calling me his little 'Bunny Princess'."
Nami suddenly got why Luffy was annoyed.
"And you're pissed he's been making a ton of money off the books and never shared it with you," she said.
"That's part of it, but mostly it's because I've been hiding my gender for over ten years in order to be taken seriously as a pirate when I started out. Do you know how hard that's going to be when people find out he based a book like this off of me?" said Luffy upset.
If the books Shanks wrote caused people to immediately associate her with the "Bunny Princess", then it was going to be nearly impossible for anyone to really take her seriously as a pirate and a major player. It would mean she spent ten years going around as a boy for nothing.
Shanks suddenly winced. He had never thought about it from that angle at all.
"...I'll set aside a portion of the money I get from the books aside for you and send you a copy of the new ones before anyone else gets them," said Shanks.
"That and you share sake cups with me so people know we're allies. I'm planning to claim Alabasta after we deal with Crocodile, and their princess ahs agreed to fly our colors in the Alburna once the mess is settled. People will have to take me seriously if I have at least one Yonko as an ally," said Luffy.
Shanks blinked.
"Why do you want Alabasta?"
"Vivi asked us to help get rid of Crocodile. Apparently the whole mess with the Rebels and the royal family is his fault. Since the Marines aren't questioning his presence I can only assume he's claimed it as part of his territory. Besides I have to start somewhere," shrugged Luffy.
"...You do know what claiming a territory entails, right?" asked Shanks seriously.
"Ace filled me in when I called him."
He was also ranked high enough (and gotten Whitebeard's approval when he mentioned it) that if she shared sake cups with him, it meant that she had a temporary alliance with the Whitebeard pirates. It would only become a full one once she found them and did it with their captain and father.
"I hope you know what you're doing, little bunny," said Shanks worriedly.
"Just set the money aside in an account at Shabaody and we'll be even. We can use it for our new ship," said Luffy.
"Hold up, what do you mean 'new ship'?" demanded Usopp. This was the first he was hearing about this!
Luffy gave him a flat look.
"Usopp, there is no way the Merry will survive the Grand Line, and most pirates trade up the second they can afford it and survive long enough to reach Shabaody. The simple fact is that an older caravel would be mincement by the time it reached the New World...and that's before you bring Sea Kings into the equation."
"She's right. A caravel, especially if it's the type Mihawk mentioned when he visited, wouldn't last a full year in the New World. Even if you had a team of top shipwrights, it would take a miracle and a massive fortune. Generally speaking most pirates save up and get a ship that can handle the trials and dangers of the Grand Line in Shabaody," said Shanks.
"Besides, when I said we were getting a new ship, I never said we were abandoning the Merry completely. I fully plan to make her an extra vessel one we can use for scouting and supply runs, or if our crew gets big enough that we can let the new guys sail with us without overcrowding the main ship, like the Whitebeards do," said Luffy.
That calmed Usopp down a little. He had been worried Luffy planned to sell the Merry and forget about her, despite all their adventures. He could live with the idea of the ship being used for minor errands and to help keep crowding from being an issue. Almost like a test for new guys, or to give the older crew a break when tensions were running high.
"I can set up an account with the shipwrights so you can afford a decent ship... just don't try to liberate my balls from me for the books," joked Shanks.
"You're still going to get punched, but if you do as we agreed then castration is off the table," deadpanned Luffy.
Every male within hearing winced at the easy way she said that.