Bloodrush
Love. Guilty until proven innocent.
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Chapter 10: Importance
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"Katara, this is important. Please."
…
/
Previously…
Katara speaks gently.
"Zuko, who are Zul's parents?"
He inhales.
/
"A few years ago, we were hiring people who can try to nurse Azula back to sanity, you know, minus the whole evil, take-over-the-world part. A particular young man, Tien, from one of the colonies, was progressing smoothly with his therapies with Azula. She wasn't throwing tantrums anymore. She was calm, still a little incoherent, but she wasn't burning everything in sight."
She nods. He continues.
"After a few months, she was laughing randomly, eating a lot. We thought we were seeing major improvements in her. We were wrong."
She looks at him.
"It turns out, he was drugging her. She's been having hallucinations and we didn't know."
She gasps.
"How did you find out?"
He closes his eyes.
"She started talking to our mother like she was right there in front of her. We thought it was just some of her 'crazy' left over. Then I heard her tell our mom that she'd 'surrender' herself to Tien if that was what she really wanted. I was nervous the whole day, so I went to her cell after my duties that evening. She… she was…"
He punches the railing. Zul wakes.
"Katara, please give Zul to the nanny. He needs to go back to his mother now."
She understands.
"Alright. Hang on."
She leaves the balcony and returns a few minutes later.
"Zuko?"
He's crying.
"Zuko! Are you alright?"
"She was naked, Katara! She was naked, and crying, and broken! That bastard raped her!"
Her left hand flies to her mouth mid-gasp.
"Oh Zuko…"
"In my own home, Katara! I am the Fire Lord, and I couldn't protect my own sister in my own palace! Sure she was bad and she tried to kill me lots of times, but she's my sister! She's my little sister, Katara…"
She puts her hand on his shoulder. More tears flow.
"When we were little, Azula was infinitely better that I am in firebending. She produced blue fire before I could even make a small orange flame. I was bigger, taller, stronger than her, yet I always end up on my butt in the first thirty seconds of sparring with her."
She rubs.
"One day, our mom asked us to do a Fire Nation dance depicting a spar between the morning and afternoon suns during noon. We had to do this thing at the middle where we had to imitate the rising and setting of the suns. So we had to use firebending to lift and lower ourselves around each other. Azula had the move perfected. I couldn't even lift myself an inch from the ground. The day of the performance, family and political allies were there to watch a small dinner number by the royal children. I wasn't eating out of nervousness, sweating like crazy. I didn't want dinner to finish, I was gonna embarrass myself so much, it wasn't funny."
She listens.
"As the servants were clearing the table, I was just about to faint. Suddenly, a burning smell filled the room. We searched and saw that a blue flame was consuming our aunt's hair up to the shoulder. Dinner was cut short. Azula got five lashes and a ban from firebending for a month."
She speaks.
"Really?"
His throat constricts from silent sobs. He nods.
"Zuko…I'm—"
"Azula isn't the most compassionate person, nor does she care about me that much. But she found a way to protect me that single time. And at her own expense. She deserved the same."
Katara inhales. Zuko calms down.
"We caught the guy, but he took his own life with a dagger before we sent out his verdict. A couple of weeks later, the physician confirmed what we already knew. She was pregnant. That was a year and a season ago."
Her eyes widen.
"That was when you… sent me away."
"The person who abused my sister passed effortlessly unnoticed in the safest palace in the world. He abused my sister single-handedly. My sister, Azula, the prodigy. Once the most feared person on the planet, even more so than our father. And he broke her."
"Zuko…"
"I can't risk that happening to you."
She looks down.
"I had that house built underground so that Azula can raise her child. She saw her little boy for the first time, and the haze from her eyes cleared. I knew she deserves to be with her son, and no child deserves to grow up in a prison cell. Mai is there, I asked her to help Azula get back on her feet."
She doesn't look up.
"I didn't cheat on you, Katara. But you were right, you deserve to know anything and everything that happens here. It was an insult to keep secrets from you, if not because you're the Fire Lady, then it's because you're my w—, I mean, we're married, and the responsibility of running this country lies on both of us. So for that I'm sorry."
She summons courage to look him in the eye and smile.
"I understand, Zuko. I can't say I completely understand the keeping secrets part, but I know you had a reason and I can only imagine how hard it is for you…"
"Thank you, Katara…"
He hugs her for the first time since his coronation. She returns it and smiles at him when it ends.
"I guess I'll be going back to my quarters now. Thank you for being honest with me, Zuko. I appreciate it. Goodnight."
He nods in reply and stares out to the night sky. She walks toward the balcony door.
"Actually, I wanted to talk to you about something else."
"I'm sure it can wait a few hours, Zuko. I'll talk to you first thing in the morning."
She continues walking. She stops.
A hand is holding her wrist back.
"Katara, this is important. Please."
She hides her sigh. He hears. She pulls her arm back gently and faces him.
"Sure."
She takes her previous place next to Zuko at the balcony's edge. The air seemed to transform from tense to just plain awkward.
Not a sound is heard. A cricket announces its presence.
"Zuko?"
He takes life.
"Yes?"
"You said you needed to tell me something."
He loses life.
"Ah yes… Yes I did."
"And…?"
He clears his throat.
"How… how was Gaoling?"
He feels reduced when his wife looks at him with disbelief.
"I mean, Gaoling is… it's a beautiful place and… you know—"
"Zuko, spit it out!"
"I missed you, okay? When you left without saying goodbye, I felt a little sad but I thought it was just disappointment. A week without you and the palace already seemed smaller. A month and I've caught myself looking at the moon chart a little too often. When Zul was born, I thought of how much better it would have been if my waterbending wife were right there with us. The morning of your supposed arrival I was so restless I woke up three hours before the sun even appeared on the horizon. When you didn't appear that day, I was so worried I wanted to lead my fleet to Gaoling. I can't even explain how I felt when I realized the possibility of you not coming back. I couldn't accept it. I mean, I knew you wouldn't run away, but I felt as if I was stuck in a corner thinking if I was bad enough that you would run away from me."
"Zuko… what are you trying to say?"
Firebenders drew strength from their breath. He inhales.
"I told you that I couldn't risk losing you. I meant it, Katara. I hope you understand that."
"I'm the Fire Lady, Zuko. I know why you can't lose me, don't worry."
He gestures exaggeratedly with his hands as he speaks.
"That's just it, Katara! I'm not scared of losing the Fire Lady. I'm scared of losing you."
Stunned. He continues.
"Stay with me. Forever, Katara, please."
"Of course I will. I signed a contract, remember? I'll be with you forever Zuko."
"Not like that, Katara."
He takes hold of both her hands. She looks down and stares at them, trying desperately to stop her blood from rushing to her face.
"Look at me, Katara."
She's a brave person. She does.
His eyes are burning into hers and somehow she can feel it in her knees.
He takes his time, savoring the opportunity to be so close to this amazing woman.
He inhales, but he keeps golden locked on to blue.
"I love you."
Her eyes widen and she breaks his gaze.
"Zuko… I want to go now. I'm sorry."
Her form disappears even faster than she planned it to.
He hears the door shut close. His heart breaks.
Division presents itself in the palace during the Avatar's visit. It feels as if the genders placement has resurrected itself, as evidenced by the four most prominent characters in the Fire Palace.
The graceful waterbending Fire Lady spends her days sparring with the solid Master Toph, training with Fire Nation's elite soldiers, helping in the construction of developmental structures in the capital. Neither seemed to spend that much time inside palace walls.
Conversely, the Lord of the Fire Nation is often seen with the Master of the Four Elements, bent over books, meditating, or talking quietly over tea and biscuits. By comparison, neither has gone outside the gates for more than five candle marks at a time.
The palace staff starts to get worried. It's as if… they're avoiding each other. They can only wonder why.