Thanks for the reviews tonightweareyoung, raspberrytwists, GleekyFC, and Violethillbeautiful! Just so you guys know, I posted a baby!Blaine, Baby!Kurt story, set in preschool, where Blaine thinks he's a pirate-written for fun, check that out on my author's page! It's very short and cute!

And you guys have to check out Violethillbeautiful's Temptations Within Us-Blaine is Rachel's twin, but tries to attain a "straight" Kurt, who happens to be Rachel's boyfriend! It's ridiculously good!

But anyway, this chapter is going to be "psychologizing" Blaine. Keep in mind, I do not have a doctorate in psychology, but I did minor in psych for my undergrad schooling, so hopefully, I conveyed realism to some extent, and that you all enjoy the inner workings of my brain!

Chapter 10: Blaine and the Mental Hospital

Blaine entered the low security "health" institution, wearing a pair of black baggy sweatpants, Kurt's pullover hoodie that was a tight on him and black sneakers with a nearly empty JanSport book bag over one shoulder.

"Blaine, you'll be fine waiting by yourself, right, while I sign you in?" William Anderson asked, patting Blaine's back.

Blaine just stared at his father, not saying a word to express his anger that he was being left here for a week if he was lucky, three to four weeks if he wasn't. Of course he could wait a few minutes by himself, if he could do it for a week or two in this crazy place. Plus, he was alone for two years at Dalton. He'd be fine and dandy.

Blaine took a seat in the waiting room, holding his book bag close to his chest. He let out a soft sigh, wishing he didn't have to go through his alone, even though he had to. His personal therapist/psychiatrist, his dad made him see, said he had Post Traumatic Stress Disorder after divulging embarrassing details after much prodding. Now he has an unlimited refill of anti-depressants and anti-anxiety pills and he was sent here for "rest and relaxation" as his dad called it. That the fire, the nerdy sweaters, his fingers on the ivory keys, even the sex innuendos (or sex itself, he didn't really know about that though, he never did anything besides kissing Kurt, and no one else), were all triggers. So for the week, the plan was they were going to slowly introduce the feared objects or situations back into his life, and then teach him strategies to deal with them.

…

Blaine sat in the dull office of Dr. Eleanor Grant, who kept telling him she is his friend and he could call her Dr. Ellie. He stared at her blankly, taking in her pale skin, her strawberry blonde hair, and blue eyes—her eyes definitely weren't as pretty as Kurt's—she looked young, maybe 35.

Blaine yawned loudly, not covering his mouth, getting bored with this not talking game, even though he obviously started. He looked at the white walls, wishing there were pictures on them that he could observe and look at and think about.

"Blaine, talk to me," Dr. Ellie repeated for the fifth time since their session started ten minutes ago.

Blaine just looked at her with wide eyes. It was his second day here, but first day to speak to his therapist. He wasn't allowed a razor; they thought he was going to kill himself or something. So his facial hair was growing in. He gently touched stubble while rubbing his chin, as if he was thinking about talking.

"Why did you want to come here?" She asked, watching him.

Blaine leaned back in the chair, lifting the front legs off the ground so far back, he almost fell, before settling back down as a small smile came to his face as if facing danger was interesting to him.

"So you smile, Blaine?"

Blaine nodded and smiled wide at her, showing her his teeth.

"Do you smile because you're happy, or why?" she asked softly, glad he's at least responding non-verbally. This wasn't her first patient not wanting to talk.

"Kurt," Blaine just said and smiled, "he's so pretty," thinking about them lying together on Kurt's bed just giggling at each other.

"Is Kurt your friend?"

Blaine shook his head, "My boyfriend."

"Your father expressed concern about you dating another boy?"

Blaine didn't say anything to that, and went back to playing with his chair, this time rocking side to side, looking on the floor under the chair to see which leg of the chair was shorter than the others.

"You don't have to ignore those feelings of hurt or anger," she said softly.

Blaine looked up at her and just stared, squinting his eyes at her.

Blaine got up and switched chairs and shimmed side-to-side and leaned back when it didn't rock and sighed in relaxation.

"So I heard you and your father went to a therapist, Dr. Andy Carnell, and he got you talking," she said.

Blaine shrugged.

"Dr. Carnell told me you're afraid of playing the piano, of fire, and of "dorky" clothes you wore when you were bashed, and of sex."

Blaine looked up at her and glared at her for the last words and crossed his arms.

"Do you think this Kurt of yours will like it if you two do not physically touch?"

Blaine stared at her. He breathed out heavily, his skin turning pink. He squinted his eyes and gripped the arms of his chairs tightly.

"Blaine, you realize that if you don't talk to me, you will not be released as soon as you'd like. Trust me, Blaine."

Blaine's eyes widened as he let out a soft sigh.

"Kurt's my only friend. Kurt doesn't care if we have sex or not, he told me, he told me he'd wait for me to return," Blaine cried out suddenly, tears welling up in his eyes. Blaine knew now that he had to talk if he wanted to get back to Kurt.

She looked at him attentively.

"I'm here for him. I don't want to lash out at him, but sometimes I just do. I don't care if I yell at my dad; he deserves it, most of the time anyway. He's mean, but concerned sometimes, I don't get him, he's so confusing. And-and, he thought I was coming to my senses when I started dressing like this, like a man, he said," he motioned to his jeans and white t-shirt, "And Kurt, he's the only one I really trust. And-and my dad won't let me see him or talk to him while I'm here. Can't I have just one friend? Can't I be happy? He took away my phone, and restricted my phone access here. He wouldn't even let me bring my books with me, said they give me too many ideas," he said as a tear fell from his cheek. He wiped it embarrassedly, and then rubbed his tired eyes with a soft sigh before he continued speaking.

"And, and I have to play a song for him, for Kurt. I promised, but I can't. I-I almost died playing for him the first time. I wanted to help him, he forgot this part of a song that I never played before, but I could hear it in my head, so I played it for him by ear, and he was so happy. His face lit up, he looked like an angel. And his smile was huge and he hugged me, but-but I freaked out, I couldn't breathe. I felt what happened to me, felt the key cover crush my fingers again, breaking my bones for a second time, I felt myself nervously flutter up from the piano, talking to my bully. Then I could hear my bully tell me to get on my knees and suck his cock. I tried to get away, but he pushed me down and held me down. It was so disgusting. He practically choked me. What if, what if Kurt is like that? I know rationally he wouldn't, he'd never, but I keep thinking all these crazy things. Kissing is wonderful, but me going down on him, I-I-I know I'd have a heart attack or cry all over him. That's, that's not sexy, that's crazy."

"Blaine, you're not crazy. You have a disorder, you're dealing with a trauma, and it seems like Kurt understands from what you told me. Now we can't literally throw you in the situation of sex, but we discuss it openly and how to deal with it when you feel like experiencing this with Kurt or whoever…"

"K, what about the rest?" Blaine looked down at his hands as they pulled at the hem of his raggedy t-shirt.

"We can reintroduce your triggers slowly to you, and teach you how to cope with these intrusive memories, so you might be able to play music again and sing, and have sexual intercourse one day. That'll include thought and breathing exercises."

"Okay," Blaine mumbled, still looking at his hands, sort of embarrassed, and feeling tired, "Can I go back to my room now? I'm getting tired."

"Another ten minutes, and then you can go, okay, honey?"

Blaine nodded, rubbing his eyes, "I wish there was a couch in here, like the ones you see on TV, that'd be nice," he said quietly.

"We'll see what we can about that, Blaine. Now let me ask you another question, have you ever thought of trying to play the guitar? Your dad says you play that, along with the violin. He told me you started lessons when you were five, so why not the guitar, or is it not just restrictive to the piano?"

"It's all music, but this song, I wrote it for my boyfriend. It's played only on the piano, well that's how I hear it in my head anyway," Blaine said in a matter of fact tone, blinking at the therapist, "I promised him when I get back I'd play it for him. Please help me do that? This is more important than the rest," Blaine looked at her, for the first time really asking for help during this session. His eyes were wide and pleading, begging to be helped.

"We'll do our best, but this might mean a longer stay Blaine, longer than a week, maybe three…"

"I," Blaine stuttered, thinking how mad and upset Kurt will be when he doesn't see his performance, "Okay, yeah," he agreed knowing Kurt needed to hear this song it was for him, about them, it embodied everything they were alone and together as one entity.

"Okay, I'll let your dad know you want to stay for another week or two, but if you progress faster, then we can get you out faster. Stay determined, remember your goal"

Blaine just nodded at her, looking at her with more trust than he has ever felt to another adult.

"Also, another reason I'm here is cuz I don't want to be so distant from everyone else, and then be angry when they come near. Sometimes I feel not worth it, like I'm not special or worthy of friends, or of Kurt. Yeah, Kurt got to me, but that's because he wanted to, because he's loving, and caring, and maybe even because he's attracted to me, I don't know."

"Your dad mentioned outbursts, but mostly distance from him."

"Well, yeah, he sent me to live with my grandparents, who are great and loving, even though they don't fully comprehend me liking guys. I mean my grandma met Kurt and she loved him. She told me afterwards that she wanted a sweater like he had on…he wears girl's clothes sometimes," Blaine let out a small chuckle, thinking about Kurt in that tight sweater.

Ellie smiled in return, "Well our time is up for today, but you have group after lunch. Just know that this takes time and effort Blaine, and that even after we're done here for the three weeks, you'll have to continue therapy for years maybe until you feel confident you can deal with all the triggers."

Blaine nodded as he stood, "Thanks, Dr. Ellie," he looked her in her eyes and smiled as headed to the door and left, heading back to his room, hoping his roommate Charles wasn't there. Blaine was sure he heard voices and would talk to them all day, and make Blaine talk to him sometimes. Blaine didn't ever know what to say so he pretended he didn't speak and wrote on pad, "Sorry, I'm mute" and then he'd shrug as he fell back on his bed, thinking Kurt would laugh at the way he talked to this schizophrenic guy.

…

Blaine sat at the piano, biting his lip nervously, he's been here for a week and this is the first of the stimuli that he's being faced with. He looked tentatively at his therapist, Ellie, who just nodded and smiled.

"Just play a few notes for today, tomorrow we'll do a longer piece okay?"

Blaine nodded, licking his lips, anxious to play this beautiful piano that was begging him to play it. He didn't know how he ignored the piano in his study for months until Kurt pulled him to it. He, at first, stroked the keys, the beautiful ivory, before he finally put his hands in position, took a deep breath and just started playing. But he couldn't stop after a few notes, in his head was Kurt's song. He started frantically playing it. As his fingers continued, his heart accelerated.

He felt the tears brim his eyes, but he ignored it until his heart was going so fast he let out a loud sob as his tears started flowing. His sobs mixing with his increased heart rate caused him to gasp repeatedly and grab his shirt right by his heart and clutch it like it was a lifeline, grabbing at the skin there holding his heart in his hands, feeling the beating against his fingers. He was like he was a fish out of water, his lungs hurt, his eyes were red, cheeks paling at his lack of oxygen. His hands slammed down on the keys as he sunk his head down and just cried loudly and unashamedly, screaming and screeching, letting out low whines. His forehead fell onto the keys in dissonance as he sobbed his eyes out, shaking his head from side to side, creating horrible loud noise as his nose and head hit against the keys.

"Okay, okay, Blaine." Ellie spoke softly, "Calm down. Your song was beautiful, but we got carried away there."

"I want Kurt here," he whispered out with rawness in his tone from his screaming that strained his vocal chords.

"He can't be, sweetie. Just two notes and stop okay. Just take a breather, and after you play just two notes and stop, we can move onto the fire trigger, the clothes, and then we'll talk about sex…"

Blaine looked at her with wide, blinking eyes. He looked like a sad boy, who listened best he could, even though he was confused and sad and very tired.

"K, the clothes don't bother me as much," Blaine rubbed his eyes as he lifted his head, much like a little child, "But Kurt really likes them," he mumbled, pouting.

"Okay, well then we'll keep your t-shirts and hoodies in stock, but I'll tell your dad to bring some of your old clothes," she said encouragingly.

"I really just wanna play Kurt's song and look pretty for him," Blaine mumbled, reaching his finger out slowly and pressing it on one key, he felt goose bumps. He shivered at that unexpected feeling.

"You will. You're doing so well. You just have to be patient. Don't rush okay? Now that you're feeling a little better, thinking about your cute boyfriend you have to go home to," Dr. Ellie nudged his arm.

"Yeah, Kurt," Blaine smiled, "he's gonna be so mad at me though, I missed his West Side Story performance, he was Tony," Blaine sighed softly, "He's so amazing. His voice is so unique and he can dance, and he wears the tightest pants ever, like always, so sexy and he's so fashionable," Blaine sighed softly. He never had anyone he could tell this and now he did, it felt nice.

"Sounds like you love him, a lot. Now play a few notes, refrain yourself from playing the whole song."

"Kay," Blaine said wearily as he placed his fingers back on the keys and only played the few parts of the song without a hitch.

Blaine smiled and looked back at her, proud of himself and wanting her approval, "I did it."

"Yep, you're doing great, Blaine! Baby steps, Blaine, and you'll be fine," she stood and patted his back, "Now don't over do it on the piano when I leave, okay?"

Blaine smiled innocently as he tapped the keys, "I won't," even though he was sure he just might…

…

Blaine ran out of his room, Charles was chasing him screaming because Blaine accidently spoke to the nurse in front of him while getting his pills.

"Help!" Blaine called out, running as fast as he could as these tight dress pants and black shiny dress shoes would take him. He had started wearing his old clothes just to get used to them.

The nurses grabbed a hold of Charles and injected him with something Blaine didn't want to know. Blaine let out a sigh of relief as he started walking. He had to get to his next session, which was all about sex. He wasn't really looking forward to it, but he'd have to talk about it if he wanted to be intimate with Kurt in that way.

Blaine pushed open Dr. Ellie's doors and breathed out, "Got chased by Charles, had to run," Blaine panted as he plopped down on the wobbly chair and put his feet up on her desk.

"Yeah, he's a handful. He finally found out you talked huh?"

"Yeah," Blaine shrugged, "Now I gotta think of things to say to his imaginary friends…Good thing I'm only here for another two days, then back to Dad's."

"Yeah, you do huh? You look good today, all dressed up, look at that bow tie," she smiled.

"Yeah, this is how I used to dress, it's kind of cool," Blaine pulled at his suspenders, "I mean I won't wear this everyday, I guess when me and Kurt go on dates…"

"Yeah, you don't have to. So are you ready for our big talk?"

Blaine looked down at his hands, "Not really, I'm glad you're a girl though,"

"Yeah, easier to talk to, right?" she smiled, "So, what do you think about sex?"

"I try not to think about it, but it's hard when it's shoved down your throat by the media, you know TV shows, and books, and advertisements. Then there's kids at school. This rude girl, who's a friend of Kurt's, kept saying I sucked his cock and penetrated him or he, to me," Blaine shuttered and blushed when he said those things, "And this other boy expected Kurt to have sex just because he's playing a character who had some sort of sexual experience with a woman. Our culture is consumed with it, and sometimes it just freaks me out, especially because of what happened with Trey."

"Trey?"

"Yeah, I told you about him," he shrugged, "the one who forced me to suck him off, I bit him, that mother fucker…" Blaine growled out and then calmed down in an instant, "but I just don't want to think about Trey if I'm doing this with Kurt, and yet he's always there."

"In this case you have to focus on Kurt, not this Trey boy. Just always remember that it's Kurt, your love who's doing this to you, not Trey."

"Yeah, but it's not that easy. I can't help where my mind goes, or how all of sudden I can't breathe because I'm so freaking scared. I don't even want to touch him below the waist, and I don't want him to touch me. It's stupid, I should want to, sometimes I think about it, but then it scares me when he's right there you know, and I mean we just started dating, two months ago, so I don't want to rush it."

"It's not, but it takes time, Blaine. Right now we're just getting those thoughts out there."

"I know…" Blaine sighed softly, thinking about Kurt under him, sweating and withering, calling out his name. Blaine shook his head.

"Can I go? I wanna practice the piano," Blaine stood up. Dr. Ellie nodded, "Okay, come to me or a nurse if something happens, if you don't feel well after."

"I'll be fine, thanks though," Blaine smiled and waved as he left. As he walked to the recreation room where the piano was, he thought about their short discussion, wondering if he could surpass it like this piano thing. He knew once he sat at that piano and played half a song, he'd be struggling to breathe and he'd be crying by the end of it, it was inevitable in his stage of recovery.

…

Blaine arrived home just yesterday after being released. He had to talk to one of his dad's personal therapists to be reevaluated before he could go home to Lima. They also had to set up appointments with the best therapist's in Lima, though his father was skeptical, claiming Lima was dirt poor and everything about it was bad. Blaine always ignored him though. It mostly was easier that way, but responding was what Dr. Ellie said he should do, so he'd try. He'd nod and half smile at him, pretending like he agreed at him on all occasions.

Blaine sat in his bedroom fiddling with the keyboard, each time tears would brim his eyes and he'd feel his heart beat a little faster than normal, but he'd saunter through as he played what he could remember of "Not Alone" and even added more lyrics.

"Blaine, your boyfriend's here!" Blaine heard his father exclaim.

Blaine's eyes widened and an immediate smile came to his face. He scrambled to his feet, wiped his eyes quickly so there'd be no sign of tears, and started running downstairs, he even let out a small giggle as he hopped down the last few steps.

His dad glared at him and grabbed Blaine by his arm, squeezing it roughly before letting him go, "Chill out, Blaine. He's not allowed here. Make it quick…"

"Yes, dad," Blaine sighed, his smile fading quickly.

"I'm serious, Blaine, get him out of here. Might have to ground you for the rest of your time here after this. Your doctors said you shouldn't have too much outside interaction, at least until we can bring you back into the world."

"I'm not a child. I can talk to him, and I'm going back to Lima next week anyway, so who cares. He's really nice," Blaine snarled out, his nose flaring in anger as he pulled open the door quickly to see a startled and beautiful Kurt all dressed for the snowy weather. Blaine almost smiled, but instead just gaped at Kurt's all encompassing beauty. He was sublime, out of this world, he came to see him, he found him; he came to save him from his stupid ignorant dad.

The Klaine begins next chapter, promise! Still working on it though, review and give me inspiration! :) Not sure where I'm going!