Laufey looked at the giant catapult that he had commissioned Jon-Bob to build. He viewed the ropes and planks skeptically, circling it with a critical eye. It looked like it was just about decrepit enough to fall apart. Of course, if they were in a lame movie or a cartoon or a badly written crackfic, it would have just enough in it to send one Jotun to Earth.

"Can I go?" Jon-Bob said, strapping on a pair of skis.

"Why are you wearing skis?" Laufey asked him.

"To ski. Duh."

Laufey felt very embarrassed. "Right. Of course. No, you can't go. I'm going to go to earth and find my little boy!"

"He certainly is little," a nearby Frost Giant snickered, and so Laufey shoved a sock in his mouth and drop-kicked him off the ledge.

"You have to stop doing that," Jon-Bob advised. "It was funny enough to begin with, but now it's just getting annoying."

Jon-Bob then had to run away as Laufey came at him with a sock. Laufey glared at the rest of his lackies, and squeezed the sock threateningly. "Does anybody else wish to make a statement?"

Nobody did, and so Laufey put his sock back on and climbed into the giant catapult. "All right, I'm off to earth to find my little boy and convince him to be king of Asgard so that I can kill Odin and Thor, and then marry Frigga and everything will be happy and good and why are you all staring at me like that, cut the stupid rope and send me on my-"

Before he could finish his sentence, a frost giant cut the rope and the catapult flung Laufey far, far away. And while Laufey was flying though the cosmos, the catapult collapsed and all the frost giants started partying.

Laufey, meanwhile, was not finding his journey pleasant. There was a couple with a baby behind him, and the parents screamed the entire time while the baby tried to calm them down to no avail. Turbulence bucked him around, and the flight attendants that the Peanuts served were far too salty. Laufey was hungry, though, so he ate them all.

"When is this flight going to be over?" he moaned.

"Well, if you're bored, I can go get the cutest piano player ever to entertain you," Lucy Van Pelt replied.

"No, thanks," Laufey sighed. "I don't like pianos."

"You blockhead!" Lucy snapped angrily, stalking away.

Laufey checked his watch and then decided to take a nap. He twisted and turned, trying to get comfortable, but the area was so cramped that he just couldn't. When he finally decided just to lean back against the seat and close his eyes, hoping not to drool, he suddenly landed face-first into a planet. As he stood up, he rubbed his nose.

"Ouch," he muttered, and then stood and brushed off his arms. He looked up to see all of Asgard staring at him. He scratched his head, confused. "I thought I was aimed at earth."

"You are on earth," a man in a suit replied. "I'm Agent Phil Coulson, do you have any unregistered weapons on your person?"

"I don't think so," Laufey said, "but if this is earth, why are all these Asgardians here?"

Just then the bifrost deposited a sleeping Odin right beside Laufey. Pinned on Odin's blankets was a note that read "Exiled from the Realm Eternal, the kingdom of Asgard, for sleeping too much and for banishing Thor and Loki without letting me say goodbye." it was signed "Frigga, Queen and Exiler of Asgard."

"Mom's gone on a banishing binge," Thor explained to Laufey. "Why are you here?"

"Oh, to kill you and your father to put my son on the throne of Asgard," Laufey replied.

"Good luck with that!" Loki shouted from the back of the room. "I hate you! If you kill Thor and Odin and try to make me king of Asgard, I'll name Eeyore my heir and abdicate the throne!"

"Who's Eeyore?" Laufey asked in confusion.

"I am," Loki said in a melancholy voice, holding up a stuffed toy donkey. He manipulated the toy as though it was the one talking. "And I'd love to be king, but I don't think Loki would be happy with me if I encouraged you to kill his father and brother, so I'm not going to, because he's my best friend." Loki hugged the toy close to his chest. "You're my best friend, too, buddy."

"I'm confused," Laufey said, scratching his head again.

"Don't worry, it makes sense if you read the rest of the fanfic," Coulson said, handing him a copy. Laufey put on his reading glasses and read through it. He gasped in horror at the end.

"What? We all get taken back to Asgard, where I step on Eeyore and Loki kills me and then jumps off the rainbow bridge into the abyss?"

Coulson snatched the fanfic back. "You idiot, you're not supposed to read ahead! Now that you know what's going to happen, it's bound to change!"

"Husband, I don't think that we should allow this frost giant to stick around," Sif said, twining her hands into Coulson's.

"What would you have me do, wife?" Coulson asked.

"Let's eat him!" Volstagg shouted, and his turkey pal said "Gobble gobble!"

Laufey swallowed nervously. "Now, here, let's just think about this-"

He took a step back, tripping over Odin and falling down. Luckily for him, there was somebody behind him that just happened to be strong enough to catch him. He turned his head to see who it was, and his blood-red eyes met starry blue ones. His heart leapt to his throat and his head swam. It was the most beautiful tiny woman he had ever seen, except for Frigga. Her hair was long and blonde, and she gazed at him with the same wonder as he gazed at her.

"You are the most ugly frost giant I have ever seen, except Jon-Bob," the woman breathed.

"I'm Laufey, king of Jotunheim," Laufey sighed, "Will you marry me?"

"I'm Jord, and of course I'll marry you," Jord replied.

"All right, that's a little disturbing," Darcy said, frowning. "You guys just barely met."

Laufey and Jord refused to look away from each other, and they answered in unison. "Maybe it is a little disturbing, but it wraps things up really beautifully, don't you think? Now that we've found true love, Laufey (I) won't be going after Thor and Odin to put Loki on the throne of Asgard and Jord (I) will- well, there's no good reason for Jord (me) to marry Laufey (me), is there? But that's okay, because she (I) loves him (me)."

"Hey, you know what this means?" Loki exclaimed, running over to join Thor. "Since my dad and your mom are gonna get married, we're not only adopted brothers, but step brothers as well!"

"Yippee!" Everybody shouted and partied while Jord and Laufey quickly went to Vegas and got married in the same wedding chapel that Sif and Coulson had gotten married in.

"Look at that," Coulson said. "The ending of this fic has changed after all!"

Just then, Odin woke up. He yawned, stretched and looked around at the gathering. "My mouth tastes like old carpet," he announced, and then stood up. "Well, this all seems very strange. What happened?"