Chapter 10: Lies Make Us Evil
"Uh, my head." I woke up in my cell, god knows how many hours later. My sight wasn't completely clear and my eyes were still half closed. Slowly, I reached my hand around to the back of my head and felt a very prominent bump that had formed when I had collided with the ground. Judging by the orangey lighting shining through the window, it was either early evening or I had managed to stay unconscious all night through and it was dawn.
I propped myself up on my arms and cracked my back with a groan.
"I was wondering when you were going to get up," I heard a female voice purr to the left of me. Startled, my head snapped in the direction of the voice. Far on the other side of the room sat the lovely Dr Clarkson, cross legged in a wooden chair.
"How long was I out?" I asked, slurring slightly.
"About four hours now," she replied with same almost alluring drawl.
"How long have you been sitting there?"
"What is this? Twenty questions? I've been sitting here ever since our session was supposed to start; two hours ago" she answered through gritting teeth. "I've been forced to cancel all my later sessions with other patients – just as important as you – so I can wait for you to wake up. All because of your ridiculous escape attempt. Do you have any idea how much trouble you caused today? Everything is unorganised and messed up now because of you. You haven't even been out of your straitjacket for a day and already you can't be trusted. Speaking of which, you've got three strikes for that straitjacket to stay off. Your first strike has been taken away from you."
As she continued my smile grew progressively larger. "Oh no, don't say I'm gonna be placed on the naughty step, doc," I mocked as I attempted to suppress the laughter.
"This isn't a laughing matter! You could have killed Jezebel Origliasso today!"
"I wasn't trying to kill her!" I shouted frustrated. I was sick of taking the blame for all of this! "Don't you think I'd admit it if I was trying to kill her! I was trying to help her if anything!"
"Hmm, that's what I was told by the nurses too. Until Croc had a hold of you. Karmic retribution if you ask me," she stated with deliberate spite and a smug grin plastered across her face. "But even if you were trying to help, that doesn't cloud the fact that you broke into the nurses room, scared the life out of one of the nurses and injured many of the Arkham guards. Not to mention that you've also injured yourself in the process. You've cut open your knuckles and the soles of your feet."
"Oh, so I have!" I chirped after glancing at the bandages around my right hand and all around both of my feet.
"Once again; karma."
"Karma for what?"
"For this, asshole!" She exclaimed as she raised her left hand. She flipped me the bird deliberately, as she modelled her new wrist splint and bandaged finger. "You broke my middle finger and sprained my wrist, that's what for!"
"Oh...Dr Clarkson...now that wasn't very professional at all, was it?" I questioned aiming to tease.
"That's because so far you've treated me like anything but a professional! You're so...hypocritical! It's unbelievable!"
"I'm guessing that's why you're, uh, sitting so far away from me too. You're scared of me now aren't you, hmm?" I asked. Audrey's silence spoke louder than words. "I suggest you slide your little butt over here, right now."
"Um, no. I'm comfortable here, thank you," she argued sheepishly as she tucked a stray hair behind her ear.
I rolled my eyes with a groan as I stood up from the bed. "You've gotta do everything yourself, don't we?" I growled as I walked over to her. As I dived for the chair legs, Audrey cowered and squealed. I gripped them tightly and began dragging the chair towards my bed, making the chair legs squeak. "There! Much better!" I exclaimed as I slapped her thighs.
"I think we're a little too close for comfort to be honest," she pointed out as she stared at where her knees were positioned in between my legs. Awkwardly she pushed herself back. When she was in a comfortable position, she looked up at me. "So, why did you do it? What forced you to hurt me like that? I've been trying to please you as much as possible and I've attended to your every whim and still you treat me as if I'm just a toy of yours."
I sighed and pinched the bridge of my nose. "Look, listen," I started as I clasped her right hand. She tried retracting, but I pulled it back. "No, no, no, no. Come here, come here. I'm not gonna hurt ya. I promise. And I'm a man of my word. I just want to tell you something. It's a story. I'm gonna tell you...a, uh, little story. Okay, so, once upon a time there's this woman picking up firewood. While she was doing this, she came across a poisonous snake frozen in the snow. She took it home and nursed it back to health. One day the snake bit her on the cheek. As she lay dying, she asks the snake, 'Why have you done this to me?' And the snake says, 'Look bitch, you knew I was a snake.'"
I laughed at the story and it even managed to crack a smile on her face. "Can you see the point I'm trying to get across here, hmm? Your naivety forced you to touch me, even though you knew how dangerous I can be. A tiger can smile. A snake will say it loves you. Lies make us evil."
"Yes, Mr Joker, but you're not a snake. You're human just like anyone else and shouldn't have to be treated like you're a poisonous beast! You should be treated like a normal human being, so what makes you so special to be treated differently, huh?"
"You're not getting this are you? I'm not saying I'm a snake! I'm saying I'm dangerous! I'm still human, but I'm dangerous! What don't you get about that?" I barked. This woman was insistent on thinking there's some good in me and I'd even tried interpreting my position through story and she still couldn't grasp it.
"Don't try and patronise me," she spat viciously as she wrenched her hand away. "That's all you do and I've had enough of it. You're completely pitiless and such a self-centred narcissist."
"It doesn't take a genius to figure that out. Well done, doc," I applauded derisively as I clapped my hands loudly.
With a whine she placed her head into her hands and for a second I contemplated if she was crying. "Oh my god, Joker...You will be the death of me," she moaned into her palms. I patted her back soothingly.
"There, there. I've told you before; your death shall be quick and painless." I heard a laugh snort from her, but that was her only response. Her head still rested in the heel of her hands and she was deathly silent. If this was her way of having a mental breakdown, then it was extremely uncomfortable on my part. I didn't know how to react. I seriously thought she had completely lost it.
All of a sudden her head popped up abruptly, making me flinch. Her hair was a shaken mess and her eyes looked weary and almost lifeless. "Did you know that psychiatrists have the highest suicide rate?" She blurted out quickly.
"Um...anyway!" I averted away from going down that road. Her new persona was scarily different. I didn't like it. Not one bit. I gently grasped both of her hands in mine.
"NO!" She roared and aggressively pulled her hands back. "Don't! Don't. Touch. Me. Stop it! Stop grabbing my hands."
"Look...Audrey...you really need to calm down," I drawled as I placed my hands flat on her thighs which were twitching and rubbing against each other violently. She glared down at my hands with clenched teeth. "I don't know what's happened to you all of sudden, but, uh, snap out of it. You're starting to sound as if you belong in one of these cells in Arkham. And it's not easy for me to say this, but – I think you're crazy. But then again, who am I to judge?" I asked as I chuckled.
Audrey's eyes widened and her angry expression softened. "Oh my god," she breathed as she ran a hand through her hair. "Oh my god, I'm so sorry. I don't know what happened! I don't know what just came over me. How embarrassing. I'm sorry, I truly am," she apologised after realising how she had been acting. She cleared her throat and crossed her legs, snapping back to her old self. "So, what were you doing talking to Jezebel today anyway?" She asked, changing the subject.
I shrugged my shoulders in reply. "I don't know. She'd talked to me before and I didn't see why I shouldn't talk to her again. I was aiming to torment her a little, but I had no idea about her, uh, disease."
"Oh, so you've been told now. Jezebel's disease is quite tragic and upsetting to say the least. Has she told you anything else?"
"She hasn't told me anything actually."
"Well, I think she should be the one to tell you anything else."
"Why does everyone keep saying that?" I questioned. "Every time I've tried having a decent conversation with her something pops up."
"I'm sorry. So why did you break into the nurses room? Was it related to Jezebel at all?" Audrey asked.
"No, I wanted the TV back on because...BATMAN!" I bellowed suddenly remembering about the news report on the TV.
"Excuse me?"
"Okay, I want you tell me what you know about Batman's 'disappearance'," I ordered using quotation marks with my fingers.
"Um...okay. He confessed to killing many people including Harvey Dent and he hasn't been seen since."
"No, no, no. This is all wrong! I can't believe he's getting away with this," I growled furiously. Audrey's confused expression was enough to urge me to elucidate further. "Batman's taking the rap for Harvey for some reason. Probably self-righteousness. Being the noble Batman he doesn't want Gotham to know how his White Knight wasn't such a decent person after all. But now that wonderful Harvey is dead and Batman is supposedly a murderous fiend, he's left Gotham with nothing to believe in which is the opposite of what he was aiming for. He was hoping to show Gotham that not everyone is evil, but now there's nothing left. You see, Batman isn't very clever when you think about it. I am. I sussed out his little trick in a second. And I assure you as soon as I get out of here, I'm showing that to all of Gotham. The truth will be revealed!" I roared and I stood up quickly. Audrey noticeably flinched and whimpered scared at my sudden outburst. "Oh, will you stop cowering, hmm? You're acting like an abused housewife! I've got bigger problems now, asides from you." I began pacing the room for a sense of stress release.
"What makes you think people are going to believe you? I sure don't."
The growl started from a low rumble in my chest to a furious roar. "Why don't you believe me, huh? It's much more plausible than Batman's story! You see, that's the problem, people only hear what they want hear. They don't want to hear both sides of the story as long as the first side sounds good."
"Still don't believe you."
"Why? Why? Why?" I repeated over and over as I rested my back against the wall. With each repeated word, I'd bang the back of my head against it. "Why? Why? Why?"
"Please, stop doing that. Stop it! You're going to hurt yourself!" She warned as she stood up from her chair. I continued despite her protests. She began walking over to me, but stopped mid journey when I came to a sudden stop. All of a sudden I felt woozy and dizzy. I had completely forgotten all about my previous collision with the back of my head. "Mr Joker? Mr Joker, are you okay?" Audrey questioned. My eyesight became blurry and my head became light. I fainted back against the wall and slid to the ground. I tried my best to stay conscious, but my eyes wouldn't allow it. "Oh my god. Please someone help!" I heard Audrey cry before I completely blacked out. "Clown down!"
"What?" An orderly asked after entering the cell.
"The clown is down!"
.*.*.*.
A/N: W00t w00t! Double digits!
The chapter title 'Lies Make Us Evil' is from a Haiku poem written in Fight Club, the book. The whole Haiku is mentioned in this chapter too. A tiger can smile. A snake will say it loves you. Lies make us evil.
Once again, I'm sorry for lack of Jezebel. She'll be in the next one. Wendy hasn't been in it for a while either. I'm pretty sure all three women are in the next chapter at some point.
The story Joker told was from a film called, Natural Born Killers. The meaning behind it related closely to Joker and Audrey's relationship.
The psychiatrist suicide statistic is apparently true. I'm not 100% sure of the reasons, but I read it somewhere. I can only assume it's because of their patients that urge the suicide.
I'm sorry for slow updates. I've been focusing more on my video editing more than anything. Speaking of which, take a look at some of my videos on Youtube if you want. SlashGashJokerWhore. But considering I don't want to seem like it's just self-promotion, take a look at a Joker Fan Film on YT too. It's called Tell Gordon Hello and if you haven't already seen it...it's really my highest recommendation. The acting is phenomenal and The Joker impression is spot on. Seriously, you won't regret it. GO WATCH IT!