After that day, I became miserable. I went to Caspian to tell him I had ended it with Edmund, and he told me he was very happy that I made the right choice. How could he not notice the pain in my eyes when he smiled at me? I was dying on the inside. I couldn't sleep, I couldn't eat and I stopped doing the things that I loved; dancing, writing, reading. When I stopped going out to ride, that's when Peter became concerned.

"It's her favourite thing to do," I overheard Peter tell Susan in confidence one day. "She's acting like she's dead. What has gotten into her?"

"Peter, think for a moment. She's a young girl about to get married to someone she barely knows, and with no family here to help her."

"She has Caspian, but lately it seems like she won't even look at him."

"Caspian doesn't really have time to help her. He's busy enough with the kingdom as it is. Give her some time alone to think. She'll come around." Susan knew the real reason why I was depressed. I ran to her after I spoke with Caspian. She spoke to me as often as she could, but I could never respond to her. It was as if giving Edmund up was like giving up my whole life; like I couldn't function without him.

I never saw Edmund. I couldn't face him and expect not to fall right back into his arms. At odd times I would catch him leaving a room or see him at my rare dinner appearances, but each time I saw him, he looked worse than I did. His eyes seemed red and he looked like he hadn't slept in months. His face was paler than mine, and when he looked at me, I had to look away from the wounded look he gave me. I walked about my cousin's castle like a ghost, as if something was weighing me down. My life seemed to have no purpose. There was nothing to shake me from the spell I was under. Of course, there was one thing, but I never got my hopes up that Caspian would reconsider and change his mind. And even if he did, why would Edmund want to see me again? Suddenly, just as we feared, it happened.

A battle.

The Telmarines who still sided with Miraz and hated Caspian had gathered enough men to form an army large enough to scare the generals on Caspian's council. Some advised him to flee and some advised him to stay and fight. I entered his study as he was speaking to the Pevensie kings. I didn't know if he made a decision or not. When I opened the door, they all looked at me. Edmund did as well, but he quickly shot his head back down. I fought with myself to focus on Peter and Caspian, and the grave looks on their faces told me that Caspian had made his decision.

"You're staying?" I asked, quietly.

"Yes. It's my only choice."He said. "We're moving to the front tomorrow. I already gave the order for any able-bodied men to join us. It doesn't match their numbers, but it's all we have right now."

"I will come with you."

"No." Peter and Caspian said at the same time. Caspian spoke. "You are not going to fight with us, Asha."

"Why not? I know how to fight! As I recall, I always beat you when we were younger. And after a few lessons with Peter, I still haven't lost my touch."

"But it isn't me or Peter you will be fighting. That was for fun. These are warriors, soldiers trained to kill."

"Caspian, it's my home too. I have to fight with you."

"I agree with Caspian, Asha," Peter said. "You'll stay in the castle where it's safe."

"No! I will not stay in here while I watch you get yourselves killed! This is ridiculous! Caspian, please…I can help."

"Asha, I can't have you fighting. If I die, you are next in line for the throne. If I get killed, but we win, you will become queen."

"You…you won't die." I choked. I suddenly realized that this could be the very last time I see my cousin, or the Pevensies. I looked at the floor and took in what Caspian told me. If he dies, the gods forbid, I will be the last member of our family. My mother left with General Glozelle, and I would be the sole survivor. I understood why I could not fight. It would be up to me to keep our royal bloodline flowing. If we both died, our family would cease to exist. With a heavy heart, I conceded defeat.

They prepared to leave by dawn. Lucy was forbidden to fight by her brothers as well, so at least I wasn't alone in my misery or fear. We said tearful goodbyes to everyone; I refused to let Caspian out of my grasp for fear of losing him. He patiently waited until my hysterics subsided, stroking my hair and holding me tightly. He took my hands in his and told me that he would be victorious, that he could feel it in his bones.

Saying goodbye to Susan was harder for me. I could barely hold my emotions together when we embraced one another.

"No matter what happens with Ed or Pete," she whispered, "no matter who you choose, Lucy and I will always love you like a sister."

I hugged her closer to me and then made my way to Peter. He hugged me fiercely, kissing me and telling me to be brave and that he loved me. I glanced over his shoulder and saw Edmund, who looked like death itself. He stood in the back of the room and no one noticed him as they left, leaving us alone together for the first time in a long time. He emerged from the shadows and we stared at each other, waiting to see who would make the first movement. I couldn't bear the silence anymore.

"Edmund, I-" He held up his hand to stop me from saying any more. Then he walked over to me, took my hand in his and he bowed and kissed it. His lips lingered on my skin as if he could somehow leave a mark there. I watched him as he straightened, giving me a broken smile and walked out of the room without looking back. That was our goodbye. I stood frozen in place, my hand still extended in front of me as if reaching out for him. He was gone. I couldn't cry. I had no tears left to cry. My whole body turned to ice. I watched as he disappeared behind the doors. That could be the last time I ever saw him. Ever.

Lucy and I waited for the battle to start, our tense nerves nearly sending us over the brink. The scene was visible from the balcony in my chamber, and both sides made no move to strike. Then, on the third day, a horn sounded to signal that the battle would start. Lucy and I ran to the balcony, watching as everyone we loved risked their lives. Each side moved closer and closer until they finally collided. The battle had begun.

Our soldiers may be few in number, but they were more skilled and knew the terrain better than most of these foreigners. I prayed to the Gods to keep them all safe. The battle went on for hours but I never left my place. I was rooted to that spot on the balcony. Lucy would watch intently and then gaze at me once in a while. I looked down at her with sympathy; the poor child had seen nothing but war in her entire life. I took her hand in mine as we stood together, watching as hundreds of men fought to keep Caspian king.

Suddenly, I had a piercing headache and I squeezed my eyes shut and pressed my palm against my temple. My mind projected a blinding flash of white light, and I saw the battle before me. I was in the midst of all the fighting when I saw Caspian strike a soldier and Susan turned in my direction and called out a warning. Peter and Edmund turned around to look at me too, with fearful expressions marring their handsome faces. I saw a royal Narnian sword fall to the ground. Edmund's sword. The white light flashed again and I opened my eyes while breathing heavily, slowly backing away from railing. Lucy looked at me with concern.

"Asha, what's wrong?" I looked at her in silence, and she stood shocked at the look of fear that I knew marred my face. I didn't have time to answer her. The Gods had granted me a vision and I had to go and stop it from coming true.

Edmund was going to die.

I couldn't waste time; I had to get to Edmund before I lost him. I ran to the stables to find a horse, any horse that was saddled already. I knew Caspian had given orders to keep the gates protected closely and, knowing my nature, also gave the guards orders to keep me from leaving the palace. When the guards at the gates saw me approaching on horseback, they immediately began closing the gates. It was close, but I managed to slip past them.

I rode out into the battle like a mad thing, calling Edmund's name and searching everywhere for him. I rode this way and that until I finally spotted him.

I saw Caspian strike a soldier.

Susan turned to look at me. "Watch out!" she shouted.

Peter and Edmund heard her cry and turned to look at me too. I kept my eyes on Edmund. I would not let him out of my sight.

Edmund's face turned from shock to fear as I saw someone aiming an arrow at me. I reared my horse to get out of the way, but when the soldier released, the arrow hit my horse and it fell backwards, crushing me to the ground. I could feel the air leaving my lungs as I saw Edmund kill a soldier and drop his sword as he ran to me…

A royal Narnian sword fell to the ground.

He pushed the broken horse's body off of me. Even though the weight was gone, I was struggling to breath, my heart beating heavily. My apparition was wrong. It wasn't Edmund who was going to die; it was me.

"Oh, please! Please don't take her from me!" He rocked me back and forth. I could smell the blood and sweat on him and I stared at him.

"Edmund," I whispered. "Edmund…"

"Yes? Yes, Asha. I'm here. Don't worry."

"I…love you."

"Shh. Save your strength. Whatever you have to say, you can say when you're better."

"No, Edmund. I had a vision. Dying…" His eyes widened. "I love you. Never wanted to…hurt you." I took another struggling breath and continued. "My father…the shame in his eyes…I saw his eyes. Didn't want to disobey…Caspian knew. She told him. I…I don't care anymore. I love you. Always will." I grimaced in pain and turned my head away. I saw Peter watching us, frozen. Even with my vision blurring, I could see the pain on his face. "Tell Peter…I'm sorry." I said as I looked at Edmund again. I reached my hand up and he grabbed it, pressing it against his tear-streaked face. Darkness was coming. I was at the end.

"No! No, you won't die, Asha! Stay with me!" His sobs wracked his body as he held me tighter, his hands stroking my face and my hair in desperation. I closed my eyes despite his protest; and finally, I felt peace fill my soul.

"I...I love you, Edmund."