WWE Silly Style
Chapter 10: Chef Taker, Switcheroo?, Big Show Loses a Bet
Mark groaned as he entered the studio. He was to be the first victim of McMahon's newest venture. The man was constantly thinking of new ways to make even more money (as though he needed it) and he came up with the most ridiculous things ever. Mark re-read the email in his hand. Apparently every superstar and diva in the company had gotten one. McMahon was planning to do a cooking show, yes, a cooking show. Each week a new show would air featuring a meal prepared by a WWE diva or superstar.
"Okay, I'm here. What now?"
People bustled around the studio and someone brought him his ring gear and told him to change. Mark found a dressing room and changed into The Undertaker before walking out onto the set that was a nice sparkling kitchen.
"Did you bring your favorite recipe with you?" A man asked as a lady dabbed some powder onto his face which was in a deep scowl.
"Yep." Was his one word answer. The lady finished with powdering his nose and then left him behind the counter glaring into the camera.
Some dopey theme music played and a voice announced:
"WWE presents "Food With Fight". Today on "Food With Fight" we have The Undertaker who will show you viewers at home how to make his favorite dish."
The camera panned in on The Undertaker who grimaced and rolled his eyes. He reached under the counter and brought up a plate which he dropped with a clatter onto the counter top. That was followed by a package of bread which he plopped onto the counter. He opened the bag and pulled out a slice and held it up for the camera.
"Bread." He deadpanned and dropped the slice onto the plate. Next he reached under the counter and retrieved a jar and a spoon. He unscrewed the red cap, dug a glob of the contents out with the spoon, and held it up for the camera.
"Peanut butter." He said with not the slightest trace of emotion or inflection of the voice. He flung the blob onto the bread not even bothering to spread it around or smooth it. He reached into the bag and pulled out a second slice of bread. Once again he made sure the camera saw this.
"More bread." Taker said and dropped the second slice atop the first with the glob of peanut butter. He smashed the thing together with his fist and then held up the poor droopy thing.
"Sandwich." He pointed at his finished product. There was a long pause as people wondered what to do. He had just reduced a thirty minute cooking program into six words and five minutes. Finally the theme music played again signaling the premature end of the program.
"So, are you going to Mr. McMahon's Halloween party tonight?" Beth asked Glen as they walked out to the parking garage.
"Probably. Maybe I can drag Mark." Glen smiled rather evilly. "We had a really good time last year."
"Last year? Why wasn't I invited?" Beth pushed Glen playfully.
"You were. You kind of got wasted and passed out."
"Oh, oops." The blonde laughed. "My bad."
"It was funny. I convinced Mark that we should dress up as The Miz and Morrison."
"What?" Beth laughed just imagining. "Who was who?"
"Mark was Morrison. He hated every minute of it…I will have to admit the tight, jeweled, fur trimmed pants, matching coat, and sunglasses did make him look kind of…"
"Gay?" Beth tried.
"Yeah, that was it." Glen laughed along with the diva. Mark had scowled and pouted the whole time and he looked absolutely hilarious. "I looked pretty hot in the fedora though, if I may say so myself."
"What are you going to be this year?" Beth pulled her keys from her purse and jangled them as the two drew closer to her car.
"I don't know…we have a few hours until the party we'll just do something last minute probably."
A smirk crossed the divas pretty face and she stopped Glen by grabbing his arm.
"I have an idea. Meet me at my room when you get to the hotel." With that, Beth climbed into her car and sped off to the hotel.
Beth and Glen arrived at the party. Glen adjusted his costume feeling a bit awkward. He had protested at Beth's idea at first…but you don't protest Beth Phoenix very long. You give her what she wants. That was why Glen found himself in a silvery costume that resembled that of Beth's in ring wear complete with the Diva's Champion belt. He even wore a platinum blonde wig (that kept falling to the side) and a Beth Phoenix-like tiara. However, there was more. Beth did his make up too. It was really quite funny especially with what Beth was wearing.
Beth had the brilliant idea that she and Glen should dress as each other for the Halloween party. Beth wore Kane wrestling tights, black boots, and a flesh colored bra so she resembled a shirtless Kane. Her blonde hair was tucked away in a rubber cap thingy that made her look bald. She even tried to mimmick Kane's sadistic sneer and she actually managed the look pretty well.
"This shit rides up too much." Glen said picking at his butt.
"Stop it, Beth Phoenix would never dig her crack in public!" Beth flicked his arm.
"Oh, so you only dig your crack in private?" Glen snickered.
"Shut up!" She rolled her eyes.
"No, the eye roll is Mark's thing."
"Hi guys!" Vince (who was dressed up like Superman) walked towards the two. As he neared, his brow drew together in confusion. "Hey, didn't you know this was a costume party?"
"Of course we did." Said Beth as she tilted her head down and tried to give McMahon her best Kane look.
"But…you didn't dress up. I mean couldn't you come up with something other than your gimmick Glen?"
Beth's Kane scowl morphed into the real deal as she realized McMahon was looking right at her but calling her Glen.
"You idiot! I'm Beth dressed as Kane, and that's Glen dressed as Glamazon!"
Vince did a double take and peered closer at the two. His cheeks colored red.
"Oh, I'm sorry, I honestly didn't notice. You guys just looked the same as usual."
"You're saying that I look like a freaking cross dressed man!" Beth yelled loud enough to draw looks from people all around the room. Beth let out a frustrated yell and stormed out of the room.
"Great, I pissed her off." Vince's shoulders slumped and he sulked off leaving Glen adjusting his blonde wig.
"Hey…" The big man thought to himself. "Does that mean he thinks I look like a big bald woman?"
Around two in the morning three men entered the hotel on their way back from McMahon's Halloween party. Two were laughing and pawing at each other and one was scowling.
"You lost the bet!" Curt Hawkins squealed as he pointed to Paul "Big Show" Wight. Zach Ryder squawked laughter and wiped tears from his eyes.
"I know, I know!" Show grumped as he stomped into the lobby. "So what do I have to do? Let's just get this over with!"
Show stopped in the lobby and crossed his arms over his huge chest. Curt and Zach exchanged glances. They had set him up for this knowing he would lose. It had only been a matter of time and waiting and now they were going to get to see possibly the funniest thing anyone has ever seen Big Show do.
"Oh, it's not a big deal." Zach smirked.
"You just have to sing a song." Said Curt with a shrug.
Big Show narrowed his eyes at the other two.
"That's all?"
"Well, you have to do the gestures that go with it." Zach put in while Curt giggled like a little girl.
"Gestures? What is it the Macarena?"
"I'm A Little Teapot!" Curt burst out and the two guys nearly fell on each other laughing so hard. Show's eyes grew wide. "You have to sing it three times."
"Are you serious? I'm not doing that stupid little--"
"You lost the bet!" Zach reminded him. Show rolled his eyes and uncrossed his arms. Grumbling to himself he put his hand on his hip making one arm look like a handle and he held his other arm up bending it at the elbow and then laying his hand out so he now resembled a little—well a not so little—tea pot with a handle and spout.
"Guys, do I really have to?"
"Yes!" Both guys squealed.
"If anyone else finds out about this I will sit on both of you and squash the life out of you!"
"Just sing!" Curt yelled. Show sighed and reluctantly began.
"Oh, I'm a little teapot…"
"Louder!" Zach called.
"In falsetto, this has to be good Paul!" Curt wiped at his teary eyes. Show growled and started over in a high pitched voice.
"Oh, I'm a little teapot short and stout! Here is my handle, here is my spout. When I get all steamed up I just shout! Tip me over and pour me out!" With that Show bent to the side pretending to 'tip over and pour'. Curt held his sides as he brayed laughter and Zach actually fell to the floor. Show started the song again. "I'm a little teapot short and stout…" He stopped seeing Curt holding something in his hand. "Hey, what the hell!"
"Keep…going!" Zach snorted as he pounded his fists on the floor.
"Is that a cell phone? You are not freaking recording this!" Show boomed. Zach scrambled up to his feet and Curt turned to flee the scene. As the two tried to run off Show stormed after them.
"This is so going on Youtube!" Curt shouted to Zach. Show stomped down the hallway and yelled after the two.
"Only if you can dig it out of your ass, because that's where I'm going to shove it!"
Lmao, Show doing I'm A Little Teapot, that's too much! Reviews plz and thankies! ((hugs))