Playdays

The Doctor's mobility was very limited, but by the time evening came he was able to walk short distances and make cups of tea. After he'd managed to get dressed, he went to the bathroom to have a shave. Now he was stood at the bathroom sink of the Tyler flat, staring at his reflection in the mirror.

The last time he'd been in this position, it had been just after he'd regenerated in the interim to New Year's. He'd been a little bit weak and somewhat vulnerable in the days after his regeneration, so Jackie, Mickey and Rose had taken it upon themselves to look after him in his 'moulding' period, as he dubbed it – the time it took for him to get used to his new body. And within those few days, he'd cut himself shaving at this sink a few times.

Of course, he couldn't tell as he lived with his face everyday, but he could now see Rose was right. Compared to how he'd last looked in this mirror, he was so much older. He'd become a little less pale, and a tad more angular. His eyes looked less Bambi-like; now a bit more piercing. His face was altogether far more lived in. And it wasn't just that. It was his soul.

'Daddy, Daddy,' a voice suddenly interrupted his thought trail. He looked around to see Eli running into the bathroom. 'What're you doing?'

'Shaving,' the Doctor replied, resuming what he had come to do and opening the packet of disposable razors Jackie had bought for him.

'Why?'

'Need to get rid of all my face fur,' he clarified, pointing at his stubbled jaw. 'Tell you what, d'you want a go?'

Eli giggled and nodded. The Doctor gestured for him to sit on the closed toilet, and took the shaving cream. He squirted some onto his fingers and rubbed it over Eli's jaw, who couldn't stop giggling.

'Don't swallow it; it doesn't taste nice. Believe me, I tried,' the Doctor told him, and proceeded to cover his own jaw. He then ran his sonic over the edge of a razor to blunt it, and handed it to Eli before taking his own.

'Right, now run it down your jaw, nice, gentle strokes,' he said, and demonstrated. 'Do what I do.'

Eli copied him, all the shaving cream coming off as he worked.

'Yes, nicely done,' the Doctor enthused. 'Now, against the grain.'

'What grain?' Eli asked.

'Oh, just pretend you have it,' the Doctor said, continuing work on his own face and rinsing away the cream. Eli began to try and shave his lips. 'Aww, no, don't do that,' the Doctor said, brushing at Eli's lips with his thumb to get rid of the cream, before resuming shaving. 'There are only a few species in the universe that have hairy lips, and you're not one of them.'

'Who's got hairy lips?' Eli asked, still shaving.

'Well, for one thing, the people of Yorax minor, and of course …' – he caught sight of someone in the mirror, heading to the bathroom – '... Jackie!' he said happily.

'Are you … oh!' Jackie said as she entered, clearly spotting Eli with his face full of shaving cream. 'Aww, sweetheart, you bein' a big boy?'

'Yeah!' Eli said happily as the Doctor washed both their faces and rubbed Eli's head with the towel vigorously enough to make his hair stand on end.

Eli laughed again, his eyes lighting up. 'Daddy!' he moaned.

'What? Just making sure you're dry,' the Doctor told him. 'Unless you want a … bath.'

'Nooooo!' Eli roared, and ran out of the door with his arms flailing.

The Doctor smirked and resumed drying himself off.

Jackie paused, for a moment just looking at him.

'Jackie?' the Doctor wondered, checking himself in the mirror.

'Nothin',' she said. 'D'you want dinner, sweetheart?'

'Yeah, please.'

'I'm makin' spaghetti bolognese, if you're all right with that?'

'Fine by me, thank you.'

'Okay,' she said, and turned to leave when she suddenly stopped. 'You aren't lyin', are ya?'

The Doctor frowned, looking at her. 'What?'

'Eli,' she said. 'He just looks too much like you, and those blue eyes … like ... and you act like … like you're a dad.'

'The fact he looks like me is absolutely just pure coincidence,' the Doctor assured her. 'And I have to act like a dad, because right now, he's my son.'

'You would tell me though, wouldn't ya?'

'Tell you what?'

'If he was my grandson?'

The Doctor whirled around to her, panicking. 'He's not … he's not your grandson.'

'But you'd tell me?'

'Jackie, don't even … No,' he said, struggling to form words through the shock. 'He's nothing to do with you. There is absolutely no genetic strand from you in Eli. None. Nadda. Zero. Zip. Zilch. He's an orphan.'

'All right,' she said, and left, leaving the Doctor feeling a little bewildered.

It had been so long since he'd had adult company and been in a domestic setting that it took a while for him to adjust. The entire concept of having dinner in front of the TV was so remote and obscenely human that it really took some effort on his part to appear normal. Even eating spaghetti bolognese was something he hadn't done in a while. He almost found he was enjoying it. He even sat for fifteen minutes through Coronation Street without making sarcastic comments. Eli had given up and gone to play very quickly, but the Doctor had stayed, just content to sit next to Rose.

When Jackie went to make tea at the advert break, Rose turned to him.

'Are you all right?' she asked.

He smiled at her. 'Yeah.'

'You actually sat through Corrie,' she pointed out.

'I know,' he said, and laughed. 'First time I've done that.'

She gazed at him for a long moment.

He looked at her. 'What?'

'So different,' she said.

'I am?'

'Yeah,' she said. 'Normally you'd be ready to get outta here, now.'

He gestured at his body. 'Wouldn't get very far,' he said.

'How bad is it?'

'I think I'm going to be weak for a while yet.'

'Well at least you've got me, and Eli, for however long you keep him. We'll look after you.'

'Yeah,' the Doctor murmured, and then decided to change the subject as quickly as possible. 'There's a playpark here, isn't there?'

'Yeah,' Rose replied, confused.

'Shall we take out Eli?'

'Can you make it?'

He shrugged. 'Let's find out.'

The Doctor had never felt so pathetic. Descending the stairs of Bucknall House sent his hearts beating ten to the dozen, he was out of breath, and by the same they got to the bottom he was so light-headed that his head was spinning. There was no point trying to hide it. As they neared the bottom, he leant on the railing and Rose, blinking erratically.

'Sit down,' Rose coaxed, getting him to drop to sit on the bottom step of the grimy stairwell. 'Well, this was a dumb idea,' she joked.

'Sorry,' the Doctor muttered, holding his head.

'What have you gotta be sorry about?' she asked seriously. 'You were in a coma a few hours ago.'

He looked at her, panting for air as Eli began running up and down the steps to amuse himself. 'Not used to this,' he confessed.

Rose giggled.

'What?' he asked.

'You make such a bad patient.'

'I do?'

'Don't you remember when you got that alien flu and you spent two days pretendin' you were fine until you fainted on the Queen of Terbia?'

'Oh yeah,' the Doctor realised.

'She thought you were sexually assaultin' her, had us arrested and ordered your execution, but before anyone could do anythin' you spread your flu to the whole prison, includin' the guards, who then got sick, and I managed to drag you out and back to the Tardis while everyone was unconscious, includin' you.'

The Doctor laughed. 'I forgot about that.'

'It was only last month for me,' she said.

'Years ago for me,' the Doctor mused, and then looked around. 'Eli?'

'Daddy!' came the response from the top of the steps as Eli popped his head around the corner.

'C'mon, park,' the Doctor prompted, struggling upright.

'Hey, be careful,' Rose urged supporting him.

'It's fine,' he dismissed. 'Allons-y.'

They made it to the park. Eli, with his infinite energy, began to charge around so fast that it was making the Doctor and Rose out of breath just looking at him. Meanwhile the Doctor took a seat on the bench, trying to get his strength back. Rose sat next to him.

'What're you gonna do with him?' Rose wondered.

The Doctor gazed at Eli. 'I … I think he's staying with us. As long as that's alright with you,' he added.

Rose smiled. 'Oh, think I'd get used to it. Aren't you worried, though?'

'What about?'

'Well, our life ain't exactly safe,' she pointed out.

'I know,' the Doctor murmured. He fell silent as Eli continued to charge around the park.

'What are you thinkin'?' Rose asked.

He looked at her. A few years ago he would have just brushed her off with some ranting, distracting comment. But how could he do that now? After everything that happened. All those years of regrets. The things he'd wished he'd said and done. This was his chance to finally drop the shields and share a little piece of himself with her. It was his last chance. After all, he'd never see her again after this.

He swallowed, and began. 'It's just … he's been with me for so long, now. He's looked after me. He saved my life. He's given me a direction … someone to care for. I don't think I can give him up. I don't … I don't think I can say goodbye again. I'm getting tired of goodbyes.'

Rose frowned. 'Again?' she echoed.

'Don't worry,' he said quickly. 'But … he calls me Daddy, and he loves me, and I ...'

He trailed off.

Rose hugged him. 'You love him,' she finished.

The Doctor didn't answer that.

'It's okay,' she said, still hugging him. 'I dunno how I am in the future, but whatever you want I'd be fine with.'

'Thank you,' was all he managed.

She paused, pulling back for a moment. 'You're so different.'

'So you said,' he joked.

She smiled. 'It's weird. I thought Time Lords didn't age like humans? Y'know, like, physically?'

'Oh, we age,' he confirmed. 'Just slower. Why?'

'You're just so much older,' she told him. 'You look so much older. But it's not only your body, it's like … like you've grown up, in your head, yeah?'

'Are you saying I was immature?' the Doctor joked, and immediately realised what he'd done. It was like a reflex. He was trying to change the subject. Best form of defence. It was his safe place when things got a bit too emotionally close to him.

She laughed. 'Yeah. Really immature.'

He smiled. 'Probably,' he conceded.

Rose gazed at him a little longer.

'What?' he asked.

'There's somethin' you're not tellin' me,' she said.

'There are many things I'm not telling you,' he replied honestly. 'I'm from your future.'

'No, but it's … where am I sunbathin', again?'

'Porquai Minor.'

'... It was Gancha Four, earlier,' she whispered.

'Gancha Four is a district of Porquai Minor,' he said without hesitation.

There was that lying thing again. Thankfully the silence didn't become too long as Eli charged back over.

'Daddy, come and play,' he begged.

'I can't, I'm sorry,' the Doctor replied.

'Cos you're sick?'

'Yeah, cos I'm sick,' the Doctor confirmed.

'S'ok,' Eli said. 'I'll run really slow, I promise.'

'I can't, Eli,' the Doctor insisted.

'Nah, he will,' Rose said suddenly.

'He will?' the Doctor echoed.

'Yeah,' she said, and got up. 'Eli, you can pick the game, I can run, and ... um, your Daddy can be referee. How's that?'

'Okay!' Eli said happily.

'What d'you wanna play?' she asked.

'Um, I dunno.'

Rose laughed. 'Okay. How about … What's The Time Mr Wolf?'

Eli frowned. 'I dunno how to play that.'

'I'll teach you,' she said, and looked at the Doctor. 'You know that, yeah?'

'Know it? I played it with Edward the Sixth for eight hours straight,' the Doctor said, grinning.

Rose rolled her eyes.

Despite her protests, the Doctor felt slightly awkward about taking Rose's bed now he wasn't in a coma, and Eli had insisted on staying with him, so they both ended up on a makeshift bed in the sitting room.

The Doctor was weak enough to sleep almost immediately, but that came to an abrupt halt when his brain turned against him and decided to give him a second-by-second account of the Fall of Arcadia in a fully-fledged nightmare. He jerked awake, his hearts racing, and for a moment just laid there, shaking, when he suddenly realised someone was crying.

Eli.

'Eli,' the Doctor said quickly and softly, turning to the boy. 'Eli?'

'Daddy,' he sobbed, shaking under the duvet. 'I'm sc-scared, Daddy.'

'Nightmare?'

'Yeah …'

'It's okay,' the Doctor said, holding him. 'What was it about?'

Eli seemed to ignore the question. 'I w-want Footsie.'

'Footsie?' the Doctor asked, confused. He suspected Eli didn't mean a UK stock exchange index, but the boy had surprised him before. 'What's that?'

'Rose g-gimme Footsie to sleep with s-so I didn't get n-nightmares.'

A toy, the Doctor realised. 'Okay, let me find Footsie. I'll be back in a minute.'

He got up and moved to Rose's room, daring to edge open the door. She was fast asleep, so he crept inside and commenced looking for some kind of soft toy. At least, he assumed it to be a soft toy.

It wasn't long until his foraging stirred Rose, who nearly screamed at the sight of a shadowy, tall man in her room.

'Sorry!' he whispered quickly. 'Me.'

'What're you doin'?' she asked, sinking back under the covers, her hair a mess.

'Eli wants, um, Footsie?'

'Oh ... Oh!' she realised eventually through her half-asleep state, and pointed to the end of the bed. 'Purple bear.'

'Thanks,' he said, moving to the area. 'Go back to sleep.'

She ignored him. 'Is Eli okay?'

'He's just had a nightmare,' the Doctor told her, still searching. 'Go back to sleep.'

'He has nightmares every night.'

'He's straight out of a war. Who knows what he might have seen? Go back to sleep.'

Rose gazed at him. 'What d'you think he's seen?'

'Dunno. I know that in the Hax war, each side started dropping spare bombs on civilian populations. And the ship I found him in had been shot down. Go back to sleep.'

'Oh my god,' Rose whispered, horrified. She got up and moved to him, locating Footsie almost immediately. It was a slightly bedraggled purple bear with massive feet. 'My nightmare bear,' Rose explained as she handed Footsie over. 'Mum told me when I was a kid that this bear stopped all nightmares. So I gave her to Eli and told him the same thing.'

The Doctor grinned at that. 'Thanks,' he replied. 'Nighty night.'

'Night,' Rose said, and climbed back into bed.

The Doctor closed the door, and went back to Eli. The boy was still in the makeshift bed, crying.

'Hey,' the Doctor said, handing him Footsie. Eli clung onto the bear for dear life. The Doctor slipped back under the covers and held him again, brushing back his hair. After a while he calmed down, and went back to sleep without a fuss, hugging Footsie close.

Rule nine, the Doctor pondered as he sank back to sleep. War orphans had a lot of nightmares, but so did Time Lords. He was really going to have to get his own nightmare bear. They really looked like they worked.